Monday, September 29, 2008

pinpoint plug

I've done a lot of silly podcasts lately, but maybe this is one you may be interested in.

As you can see from the picture, it's called Pinpoint SLC and it's an arts and culture podcast. It's also not totally mine. I'm volunteering with the good folks at UtahFM.org for this little gig. Anyway, it's only about five minutes long and it should come out every Thursday. I'll probably be putting together every other one. Depending on the week, we got stuff in there about local music, classical music, theater and visual art.

So yeah, it's so harmless. Here is the iTunes link to get it that way. Do it. Do it.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

casting call!


So three years ago my movie studio had mild success with its short feature called "Massacre on West Capitol" (692 YouTube views -- yay! (although that number is actually wicked low (speaking of wicked, my video of me on the Wicked ride at Lagoon is approaching 20,000 views -- what's up with that? Watch the movies I actually worked hard on dang it!!!))).

Aaaaaaanyway... the same kind of low-pressure film event is happening again (in the form of the ward Halloween party) and the horror season is upon us. A new film will be made. Perhaps you'd like to be a part of it? We have a few ideas, but not a complete story yet. If you'd like to contribute in any way, I'd really love some help with it.

Also, I'm pretty sure we're gonna need a human mannequin. Anyone know where we can get a mannequin?

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

further reading stumbling blocks

While wasting time at Barnes and Noble today, a specific book caught my eye: Downtown Owl by Chuck Klosterman. Man! That came fast. I guess it's been out for several weeks now and I didn't realize it. Strangely, I refrained from buying it immediately. I need to mull this over.

Chuck Klosterman is my favorite author. Ever since Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs, I've bought all his books the first week they've come out -- in hardback. I was never a Potterphile. This is pretty much all I have. But being first-week fan is not without its consequences. I don't particularly like the heaviness of hardbacks and his books have tendency to come out with bonus material when they arrive in softback. Yeah, I know. What a gyp! The reissued version of Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs contains a long middle section with 15 questions he asks to determine whether or not you can be his friend. Here's the gist of one sample question that I can remember: "The San Diego zoo teaches one of their gorillas sign language and test his IQ. The gorilla not only scores a 75 IQ, but displays an interest in physical games and strategy. Are you opposed to the Oakland Raiders drafting this gorilla?"

Still, how can I not be the first guy I know to read it?

At the same time, the whole reason I went into Barnes and Noble in the first place was to begin reading The Glass Castle, which is a potential book group's reading assignment and they're meeting only a week from today. Shouldn't I be reading that? Plus there are the six books lingering on the shelfari over on the right-side column taking up valuable blog space that could be devoted to advertising. I'm swamped with books to read. Surely I can wait for that reason?

I had the same philosophy in college. I never read anything for fun in college because I always had so much text to read. Funny thing though, I rarely read the text. I didn't read anything. When has not reading something that you want to read ever motivated you to read something else entirely?

I can probably wait. How long does it take to get reissued all soft anyway? Three months? Longer? I don't know. I'm illiterate.

What if the world ends before then?

Anyway, check out here for a preview of the book (to those of you who sent me that other preview, this one's different).

Also, go pick up the current Esquire. Turn to page 172 (or is it 272? It's the Klosterman-written piece anyway). It's hilarious and wicked awesome and strangely bleak at the same time.

EDIT: So somebody also buy me the soft cover of Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs. Also, I just barely learned that there is an audiobook version read by the author. Somebody buy that for me too.

Monday, September 15, 2008

tv continued

Forgot to post this little gem from The Soup last night.



Oh, and for all you Gilmore Girls lovers out there, this one's for you.

catching up with an old friend... tv

Since I'm watching a lot more Star Trek lately and I'm getting mildly pumped for the next season of Lost, I've decided that my sci-fi television quota is pretty much filled. I'll probably be holding off on Fringe or The Dollhouse when they come out. I'll still keep tabs on valued opinions from friends, critics and blogs; but I'll be keeping distance.

That leaves room for getting into a new high school comedy-drama from the CW. I've narrowed it down to three:

1) Gossip Girl
This isn't really a new one. I've seen about ten or so episodes. It fits the bill, although it's way less eventful than the advertising makes it appear. Of course, I'll still have to catch up with what's going on though. Also (speaking of sci-fi), I'm not totally convinced Blake Lively is a human being. Look into her eyes. She's pretty, but there's no soul behind her eyes. She's either a lovely demon or a fairly lifelike android. Oh, and when they play Guitar Hero on that show it looks way fake and lame. On the plus side, it's about time the setting went New York City rather than L.A. I prefer the NYC myself and they've got a whole new set of teenage problems over there that they don't have on the west coast (you know, lack of cars). The school uniforms are plenty stylin'.

2)90210
Caught the premiere online just now. Seems to be more of a remake of Gossip Girl than the show it's actually named after. They got the gossip blog on it and everything (complete with the line, "That's what a blog is supposed to do -- cause problems"). The fact that I never really got into the original 90210 may actually make it funner. I can catch up on some of the old lore. Actually, it really seems cut and pasted from a bunch of shows. They got the mom in Arrested Development to play the exact same character (awesome, actually -- she totally name-drops Ricardo Montalban). Another great bit of potential is that the "Brandon and Brenda" characters are actually adopted siblings in this one. That means that this show can do what the original 90210 could never do: have the brother and sister hook up with each other. I also give this one points for having a character named Silver. Silver! Remember I said I was going to name my daughter Silver the Enchantress? Remember? 'Tis a shame Silver is the blandest character.

3)Privileged
A couple of critics have already given this one some thumbs up. Didn't catch all of the first episode, but I do think that this may be the one for me. It's actually about a young woman hired to tutor a couple of Paris Hiltonesque privileged high schoolers. One of them is mean, but semi-smart and domineering while the other one is nicer and more committed, but less likely to stick up for herself. The smart one looks like Wynona Judd btw, and that's not good. The whole spoiled heiress thing IS totally played out, but it does help that the tutor acknowledges it by actually saying, "The whole spoiled heiress thing is totally played out." Unfortunately she sort of has a weird overbite thing goin' on. Other miscellaneous pluses include TASING in the first ten minutes.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

only the important facts

During free moments I like to see if there are any new interesting/important items at chucknorrisfacts.com. If you've been there, you know it's a cornucopia of useful information, but it's incredibly bloated.

As a public service, I've compiled the very most important Chuck Norris facts below. FYI, the really bad ones are toward the end, just so you know.

Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

The crossing lights in Chuck Norris's home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian.

Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.

Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist, and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.

On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

The phrase 'break a leg' was originally coined by Chuck Norris's co-stars in Walker, Texas Ranger as a good luck charm, indicating that a broken leg might be the worst extent of their injuries. This never proved to be the case.

The original title for Star Wars was "Skywalker: Texas Ranger". Starring Chuck Norris.


"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.

Chuck Norris was once on Jeopardy. This show is notable in that it was the first occasion in Jeopardy history that Alex Trebek had appeared without a mustache. And a head.

4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.

Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.

Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.

Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.

Chuck Norris enjoys a good practical joke. His favorite is where he removes your lower intestine and pretends to make a balloon animal out of it. Then he cracks your skull open with a Volvo for not complimenting him on his balloon animal.

One time I was with Norris in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Norris goes up to the deer and says, "I'm Chuck Norris! SAY IT!" Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, "ChuckNorris" ... It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!

Dinosaurs went extinct because of the Chuck Norrisaurus.

Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.

Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his own two hands.


Chuck Norris has never looked a baby in the eyes cause it might him cry but if he does it also makes him want to punch a baby.

Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

as long as we're being political...

Whilst researching for writing a comment on someone else's blog, I came across this bit of hilarious politicality from my ancient past:

http://www.rexbasior.com/election2004.htm

Totally cute. Actually, the references to "Hillary winning in a landslide" were especially hilarious. We also see the basis for the concept of "racing a woman into the white house." Most humorous of all though, were the quaint anti-war sentiments. Whatever happened to that war anyway?

Saturday, September 06, 2008

finnished

A long while back, I wrote about a really awesome band called Split Enz. They broke up about 25 years ago, so I don't get the chance to talk about them in casual conversation. Check the link, you may remember a bit of what I said. I'm also going to update the current Song of the Moment to a Split Enz tune.

That blog post ended with
*sigh* It would have been really great to see them live.
How strange then when earlier this week I discovered that Tim Finn, the former leader of Split Enz was going to be performing in a dive bar in Salt Lake City. He's concentrated on a solo career for the past 20 years. Would he remember to play some really old stuff? Was it worth dropping 20 bucks just to find out?

I figured it was worth it just to see the guy. I mean, I've been a Split Enz fan for like 15 years, so that's just a little more than a dollar a year. Quite a deal. Even if he played no Enz, it would still be great just to see the guy. Surprisingly, I tend to get pretty star-struck with celebrities. Whenever I see one I want to go up and talk to them and I always try to think of a really cool way to have the conversation so that they'd think I was cool and not just another obnoxious guy. In my head, I'm always obnoxious in such situations, though.

Like with most things like this, I told nobody and I went alone. Most people don't consider going to movies alone much less concerts, but I do it all the time. Don't need friends for that. The performer is my friend enough. Perhaps I should have brought somebody, though. In the early '80s Split Enz were international superstars. Their next incarnation, Crowded House, was even bigger. Millions of records sold. As recently as the late '90s the gang played in front of thousands in front of the Sydney Opera House. When Tim took the stage I counted the members of the audience. There were 37 of us.

His band was just a couple of other guys -- a keyboardist and guitarist. VERY low-key. Tim played the same acoustic the whole time and also manned the drum set -- which was a single bass drum by his foot.

But was he going to push his new stuff? Sure, but it wasn't long before he broke out into the really old stuff. It was very Split Enz heavy (despite the fact that if anything, his Crowded House stuff was more recent and more popular): "Shark Attack," "Dirty Creature," "I See Red," "Six Months in a Leaky Boat," "Poor Boy," "My Mistake" and "I Got You" (which was a very curious choice, since it was his brother's song, not his). The old Enz songs were great with Tim's marchy bass drum.

Here's "I Got You." You may have heard it before. It's a great example of Enz. The minimalism really works with the ideas of jealousy and paranoia. The introverted spooky verse and the outbursty chorus are great next to each other. I couldn't help but sing along. I've ruined so many dang concert videos by my singing along.



Eventually more people showed up. Everyone had a great time. I didn't expect it to be too happenin'. I mean, this guy is all old and silver-haired and stuff. But I heard the songs live. 48 hours earlier I was still under the impression that it was something I'd never be able to do.

After the show he was kind enough to chat and take photos with the attendees outside by the tour bus. He only had a couple of minutes before his manager carted him off somewhere (in a beat-up 1985 Ford), so I didn't get a picture with him or much of a chance to talk. But I did shake his hand and tell him that I never thought I'd ever see those songs performed live.

I wanted to ask about his brother and what he's doing, or maybe, if I did it right, I could have asked about the old Split Enz/Crowded House drummer, Paul Hester, who committed suicide a couple of years ago. I would've just been dorky, though. I did actually consider getting an audio drop from him. Do you think he would have let me record him saying "Hi, this is Tim Finn from Split Enz and Crowded House and you're listening to J.R. Watches Star Trek for the first time?"