I don’t have a lot to say this year, but don’t mistake that for growth or peace. The burden of the grievances is, in itself, a grievance. This one's briefer than ever so you can get on with your important lives.
social need and social anger-
Many grievances, like this one, will be repeats this year. This is very familiar territory. Shrinks have told me that human beings are social creatures. We need interaction with others to thrive. I’m gonna have to take their word for it. You know how you watch prison movies and characters are sooooo concerned about being put into solitary? How could you turn down a catered, private room like that? 99% of prison problems are from the other inmates and you want to have a social life with these people? Take the box, man. Recently I’ve learned a lot more about my introversion. I’m not a shy person. But too much interaction stirs me up rather than calms me down. And I think many of you are similar. According to Worldometer, there are currently 8,195,220,600 people in the world and that’s certainly 8,195,220,116 too many.
soda-
We beat the Germans in World War II and now here we are with no consistency in syrup between soda fountains. Is it just because there are all those soda-only (okay and cookies) shops on every corner that all other soda dispensers have to randomize their content? Additionally, Dr. Pepper Strawberries & Cream ought to be the best soda ever, but it tastes like a sugarized river spillway.
103.1 The Wave-
I’m the radio station’s biggest fan. Now that it’s the 21st century and many don’t know that radio waves still exist, I’m serious when I say I listen to this radio station more than anyone else in the whole wide world. I feel I’m entitled to criticize. Duran Duran’s “The Reflex” is their worst song, if only because the station plays it every damn day. Also, while the 80s is absolutely my decade I’ll always defend, there are a few items that should have aged out with the times (“99 Luftballoons,” “The Safety Dance,” “Puttin’ on the Ritz” etc.). Please, please please let me get a different track. Also, the station has recently broadened its formatting to include more 90s acts. While certainly a lesser decade, I at least welcome the variety. Such variety, however, should never include Soul Asylum.
X96-
I won a prize from X96 this year, which was awesome. “Tickets” to The Rocky Horror Picture Show at Broadway Theatre. The discount code for the tickets arrived in my email after Halloween. Also the discount code didn’t actually work. I’ll use this space to commend Broadway for letting me into the movie anyway, BUT I’m now out a win until well into the new year. If you don’t know, you’re only allowed a radio station win every three months or so. Winning stuff on radio stations is my main source of supplemental income, so this really puts a dent in my books.
Journey’s socks-
For years I’ve been bemoaning the de-inventorying of the black Journey’s striped socks – the only dark socks that are even a little comfortable for me. Now the Journey’s white striped socks cannot be found. Next year my grievance will be the oozing stitch wounds leftover from my frustrated-state foot amputations.
car lights-
This may be my oldest, most consistent complaint. Every car out there has car lights that are too bright. Check my grievances from every other year. Evidently everyone’s fighting fire with fire here, but in the meantime I’m left in the dark, at least comparatively. Nobody stood with me and everybody became light vampires. I’m kind of like Charlton Heston in Omega Man, you ever see that one? It’s a beaut.
cat-
When Katie went cat shopping for me I told her I have just two requests: that it’s a girl cat and that the cat has at least two eyes. Unfortunately the one she fell in love with is a he and he has half the requested eyes. I love him too, but hey Hot Pocket, what’s with all your head butting? Why do you have more sneezes than meows? And enjoy your pets and scratches while you can get ‘em! Stop walking away from them, because you’re not always gonna get the attention when I’m typing stuff.
deserved-
I can’t wait for Christmas to be over, but I will be so sorry when it’s done. That also applies for everything else. My anxiety and general fear have really increased this year and I can’t come close to explaining why. Maybe the state of the world is taking its toll, but I wouldn’t say I care more about the state of the world than the next man or boy. My superficial emotional wounds are just infected. Now that I’m too old to see up close, I couldn’t even tell you the invading force.
