Wednesday, December 30, 2009

the top 50 movies of the decade!

As I'm typing this I'm rolling with the waves of the Carnival cruise ship Elation. It's about 75 cents a minute, so I don't think I'm going to finish this list before the new decade begins. However, since I'm starting this post on the 30th (I think that's today), it should pop up as my final post of the 2000s.

I've noticed on Twitter lately that people are sick of lists. I can't get enough of them, obviously. Plus the decade thing only happens maybe seven or eight times in a lifetime, so I seriously have a sense of duty to make a list such as this one. Here we go, get ready to disagree:

50. The Wrestler
This movie totally validated my fear that professional wrestlers are people too. Hey, just because it's fake it doesn't mean it's not obliterating bodies and breaking up families!

49. The Hurt Locker
Here's actually the first movie ever to use pretty severe shaky-cam (where the camera itself isn't a character) that didn't bug me. In fact, it was a terribly effective use of it. Way to make a good war movie focusing on individual psychology.

48. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
I wasn't actually a super big fan of the Lord of the Rings movies, but some mention needs to be made of their achievement. I think the first one was far better than the other ones. Far less WETA-oriented. The CGI came a long way with these films but it was way toned down in Fellowship and was far more immersive for me. Plus, there was this incredible forest tracking shot in the end that was quite breathtaking.

47. Meet the Parents
I told my mom and soon-to-be stepdad to see this one and it nearly derailed the wedding. Nevertheless I think this movie really birthed the decade's trademarked method of "awkward" humor. Of course I'm WAY sick of that humor type now.

46. Memento
Ehcysp eht sa llew sa dlrow eht ot liated gnitaicurcxe htiw taht riap. Dekrow taht kcimmig a s'ti.

45. Juno
Had a lot of fun with the "food baby" quoting for a good while, but I didn't really appreciate how well it was written until Maria and I discovered that we saw the characters in two completely different ways depending on our points of view.


44. School of Rock
I'm not a Jack Black hater, but he can be used wrong. I think he was used correctly here -- a manic high voltage humor dynamo with a sweet amount of heart. Plus, what better messenger to bring the message of the exhilaration that comes with rock 'n roll to children?

43. Serenity
Personally, I like the television show more, but the movie fleshed out lots of stuff I wanted to know from the series. If you don't think a science fiction movie with a huge branch in the old west cowboy genre can be cool, you're wrong. You may just need to face a fact you never considered -- you yourself may not be cool.

42. The Fast and the Furious
Didn't think I'd love this movie much, but somehow it got hold of every speck of what little frat-boy, fast cars, loose women aspects in me and totally fired on all cylinders.

41. Casino Royale
Hey, I love most all James Bond movies, but the gritty reboot made me actually look forward to 20 more.

40. Watchmen
I would have liked the director to have taken more chances, but this thing is a fine fine adaptation of my favorite graphic novel. Sometimes a flipbook set of photocopies based on a wonderful painting can offer its own form of exhilaration.

39. No Country for Old Men
There is a reason why movie makers don't take chances with storytelling conventions and plot structure. They work. Why mess with them? The result might not work. This one worked though. Oh man it worked.

38. Grindhouse
This is technically two movies, but the experience was pretty sweet. Too bad I saw a mall theater on a Thursday night with five other five people instead of at midnight in a seedy theater packed with miscreant scum.

37. Hellboy
I came into this superhero movie late. Saw it on dvd last year I believe. Loved it though. Loved that world. Sort of pulpy like Indiana Jones with some new-school comic supernatural irony thrown in.

36. The Royal Tenenbaums
Lots of fans of Wes Anderson consider this one his weakest. I think it's the only one worth watching at all and the one that actually sorta touched me.

35. High Fidelity
Obsessing over girls. Obsessing over music. Obsessing over lists. I like this movie.

34. The Departed
What a wonderful combination of good guys vs. bad guys but from both sides and with good and bad totally blurred for us and for the characters. Plus Marky Mark is freaking amazing.

33. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
You may not have heard of this, but the story is told through the single eye of a guy completely paralyzed. We see his vision and his memories and it's stunningly beautiful.

32. Austin Powers in Goldmember
I know this seems a little lowbrow, but I liked the third Austin Powers movie was 20 times more hilarious than the other two. "There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch."

31. 24 Hour Party People
This sort of has a documentary feel to it, but is mostly acted out like a mockumentary -- even though the events actually happened. Sometimes they break a few rules -- like sort of a surreal-umentary. Anyway, this is the story of Factory Records -- the record company in Manchester in the 70s and 80s. Amazing music: Joy Division, Happy Mondays and eventually New Order. One of the reasons I want a time machine is to visit that era and location.

30. Pieces of April
Best Thanksgiving movie ever. Makes me cry and believe in family.

29. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Best book. Best movie. Easy. Suddenly, amazingly Harry Potter's world seemed believable. Plus I totally dig the unique play on introducing the new character with questionable actions through the entire movie -- keeping the main characters, and us, in the dark.

28. Training Day
Not even close to a horror movie, but may have been one of the scariest movies I've EVER seen. That scene in the bathtub? Yikes. Remember how there was a big fuss about Denzel beating Russel Crowe for A Beautiful Mind that year? Pffft. No question. Denzel was all over this. King Kong's got nothing on him.

27. New York Doll
How very strange. Here's a Mormon movie that actually sorta touched me a little. Watch it if you haven't. I think you'll be surprised. Excellent rock lesson too.

26. Star Trek
Obviously this is on the list. I mean, I run a Star Trek podcast for cryin' out loud. I'll just say that I'm glad they took a few chances with this one. Different direction, but they definitely CARED about it. Surprisingly this thing had a bunch of the same writers for the new Transformers movies. They royally screwed up what was my entire life from 1984 to 1987, but at least I still got Star Trek carryin' on.

25. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Can I use the word legendary? I actually mean it like I got the feeling that the tale truly was a legend -- even though I had just heard it (and I'm pretty sure it's not centuries old or anything (although I did do a quick internet search and discovered that the author of the book it's based on died in 1977 -- so there's a chance the story is almost 100 years old)). Anyway, out of all the movies on my list, this is the easiest one to use the word beautiful on. It's like dancing perfectly with the most beautiful person to the most beautiful music.

24. The Fall
Okay, maybe I spoke too soon on doling out the official beautiful ranking. This sucker's just about the most visually arresting thing I've ever seen. Much thanks to Lucia for being my supplier for this one.

23. The King of Kong
This may be one of the most entertaining documentaries I've ever seen. It's about two guys playing video games, but it's strangely accessible even to people who consider the subjects complete losers. The doc somehow goes beyond that. Even if you have a life, you can't help but cheer on Steve and boo and hiss Billy.

22. Match Point
Quite effective. Here's an intriguing Woody Allen movie. Half the people I know would never think of seeing one of his films (and never ever will), but if his name weren't in the credits for this one they'd never even know it was him. The film is slow and long (his longest), but it's an amazing subtle whirlpool of descent.

21. Slumdog Millionaire
I'll use the word beautiful again -- even the poverty was beautiful in that it was beautifully captured (and thus more poignant). Hey we all saw this. We all cheered.

20. Love Actually
Would you believe I just saw this for the first time like a month ago? Not a moment too soon either. Way to cram romance in as another necessary theme of Christmas! Mission accomplished!

19. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
I actually don't always like Charlie Kauffman's writing. This one though was tremendous to me. A love story about hurt and purging -- and the knowledge that just forgetting about things doesn't erase their existence.

18. Role Models
As the decade wore on humor became more and more about cynicism and irony. This movie began a welcome trend to reverse that. Yes it's absolutely hilarious. Yes it's dirty. But, in the end it's absolutely feel good. Can you imagine the restraint of not taking cheap shots at Larpers?

17. (500) Days of Summer
This is sort of a guys' chick flick. It's a story that needed to be told. We've all been there and it was simply so lucid to see it played out. Plus, I heard that they purposely used a blue filter to film with to bring out Zooey Deschanel's eyes. Zowie.

16. Inglourious Basterds
In a lot of ways this may be Tarantino's most accessible film. Surely it's the most linear. Personally I think the guy's desired themes are far more structured nowdays -- and well layered underneath the mounds of dialogue. I think this is one we'll be talking about years from now and what the thing is actually saying (after we cool down from that crazy Nazi butt-kicking sequence at the end).

15. The Dark Knight
Who would have thought that Jack Nicholson's amazing game-changing interpretation of The Joker would be so amazingly replaced by Heath Ledger's? Thank goodness such a creature can only exist in films and in our nightmares (I mean think about it -- the guy's most cherished value is anarchy, randomness and chaos, but there's no chance he'd be able to pull off what he accomplishes in the movie without the most meticulous and ordered series of events ever). Anyway, we also get a great fleshing of character in Commissioner Gordon. Plus, the story arc and the rising/falling character progression is really all about Harvey Dent. Such a wonderful crowd of characterization in a tense, lively action movie! Oh yeah, also Batman's in it.

14. The Incredibles
Here's when I think Pixar really started flying off the rails out of wonderful children's whimsy and into something wonderfuller. Although it's still obviously cute I really took this movie seriously as a comic-action movie. I could tell the folks knew their superhero lore too. Combination of Watchmen and Fantastic Four and better than both (at least film-wise).

13. Unbreakable
Another superhero movie. I found this to be a fascinating exploration of pre-heroism psychology if that makes any sense. Here's a guy who doesn't even really know he's a hero. I think he doesn't even know he's a good guy. It certainly works both ways.

12. Moulin Rouge!
A straight up musical that utilizes every edge and weight of classic pop songs. Confession. I never heard "Your Song" by Elton John until I saw this. How did that happen? I blame the world. How is it possible that I never heard that song until I saw Moulin Rouge? Now that and 20 other songs I'll fondly remember that song and 20 others as a part of this wonderful heart-breaking love story.

11. X2
Another superhero movie. Lame title aside, this might be my favorite superhero movie. Perhaps it doesn't hurt that I own the first 500 issues of Uncanny X-Men. Nightcrawler is one of my favorite characters of anything ever. Also a clincher -- just when I thought they'd play it safe, Wolverine gets out his claws and just goes nuts on some U.S. soldiers. Take that Comics Code Authority!

10. The Ring
I was entertained all throughout, but it wasn't until I got home at one in the morning that night that I realized that The Ring was the only horror movie all decade that legitimately scared me.

9. The Prestige
Too bad there aren't more summer movies like this one. Not an action movie, but a grand fantastical period piece about extreme obsession in science and magic. The conflict is threaded together with a half dozen dualities. Fact and fiction all twisted together into science and illusion. This type of speculative fiction is what movies were made for.

8. Shaun of the Dead
Much thanks to Jen for lending me this gem last year. Since then, I've seen it three more times. Lemme just mention something about Edgar Wright. I think for most people comedy is simply writing. Tell some joke. Make people laugh. Wright is a meticulous master of comedic directing. It's the attention to detail, the timing and the realism of his direction that makes this comedy so funny and not just jokes.

7. Donnie Darko
I love this movie with very little defense for it. When people tell me they hate it, and then explain why, I'm forced to agree. It doesn't make much sense. It's easy to make fun of. I just enjoy watching it so much though. It's a strange nonsensical world that I just immerse myself in. It's like having a weird dream and then talking about it as fast as you can before you forget it. Killer soundtrack helps. Opening shot to the sounds of Echo and the Bunnymen puts a smile on my face right from the beginning.

6. Mean Girls
It is so fetch!

5. Kill Bill Vol. 2
Lots of people liked this one more than volume 1 more. With good reason I think. Very well put together. The fight with Ellie in the trailer is amazing/rockin'/funny. Plus, the confrontation combined with the complexities of... actually I better not talk about it if you haven't seen volume 1.

4. Once
I don't tend to like the type of music in this movie, but seeing these non-actors earnestly tell this amazingly simple story through the music is simply elating. Can't even explain it in words. I wish I could in music. Can't carry a tune though.

3. Kill Bill Vol. 1
This movie was an absolute gateway. After I saw this movie I fell in love with movies. Before this one I considered movies just enjoyable. Now movies are storytelling devices of infinite potential. Somehow, all the crazy elements: choreography, dialogue, music, editing, camerawork -- all of it came together, supplanted their own cheesiness, and created one of the grooviest experiences of my existence.

2. Wall-E
Maybe I'm ranking it a bit high, but once again kudos to Pixar for not just making a cartoon. I found it a great science fiction story. Also, a lot of weight is put on love stories with that killer, snappy dialogue -- as if it's the words that are so important in love. Hey, here's a wonderful love story that shows rather than tells.

1. Hot Rod
Okay okay okay. This is NOT the best movie of the decade. I had to pick something though so I may as well pick the movie I've seen the most times. Also it's a movie that I own and I think I know more people who own it than just about any other movie. Plus, it's a movie where, on more than one occasion during the decade, I demanded that we watch it IMMEDIATELY upon discovering that someone in the room hadn't seen it. Also, it's got the best seen it-to-loved it ratio than any movie I know. Thanks Hot Rod! My friends and I enjoyed all 23 times we watched you!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

airing of grievances '09

I hope everyone had a pleasant Festivus today.

Light switches are still horrible. What gives with half of all bathroom light switches being OUTSIDE the bathroom? Who thought this was a good idea? Why is it constantly the case with bathrooms? Is it because it's easy to mess someone up from the outside of the bathroom? Is the reason just to play jokes on people? Also, my room has two light switches and they suck. First, "on" is "down" which is the opposite of how it should be, unless it's the southern hemisphere. Secondly, if I use one switch to turn the light off, I can't use the other one to turn the light on. I can use either to turn off, but once I do I'm committed. That's wrong.

I hate it when people see a movie and then say "well that's two hours I'll never get back!" as if they would have been doing charity work during that time or something. Good movie or bad movie, it's still sitting in a chair for two hours and you'll still live your life the same during and after. I love movies more than any other person on the planet, but I'm not sorry if you expected something truly life-changing. Plus, in this age we tend to love hating more than we love loving anyway.

Who invented the cd? I hate that Japanese guy (or jyo sei). For the most part, cds are okay, but it was a bad decision to have no protective built-in case for them. Remember floppy disks? They were housed in plastic and only a tiny portion was vulnerable. Now, cds have begotten dvds. The entire bottom surface gets scratched and dirty right when they're opened. "Hey, thanks for the dvd! Whoops! I dropped it. Now it doesn't play. Guess I'll just hit up Best Buy for another one!" I love Netflix, but everybody who watches the movies before I do doesn't care about my viewing experience. They're scratched to kingdom come so there is ALWAYS a scene I miss, especially when I watch them on the 360.

The Xbox 360 is horrible. I like it because there's one in my house and I can get Netflix streaming on it and there's Gears of War on it, but it's horrible. Half of them fail. Thank all heaven Microsoft isn't in the life-saving business.

(I'm eternally grateful our 360 hasn't failed.)

Daniel Faraday is a douchebag. First there's no chance to change the past, so why even try? Then, he suddenly realizes that when you go back in time, you become a variable to change the past. Have you never seen Back to the Future Faraday? We're counting on you to establish the rules. Don't make us think the writers are just making it up as they go. Okay, we know they are, but at least make it LOOK like they're not.

Persephone! Why did you eat those damned pomegranate seeds?

Hey Kevin Smith and Wes Anderson! I don't think you're very funny. I think you should stop being so sure of yourselves. You disappoint me.

Samus Aran, your alien power suit is no match for that one part of Metroid Prime that I can't get past. You know, with the guys with the dragonfly wings and you're supposed to knock out two separate generators and call in and air strike or something? Anyway, I've been stuck on that part for TWO FREAKING YEARS!

Twitter, the site is stupid for making me go way back in the archives to find the tweets I've missed. Listen Twitter. When I login, just give me an entire facing page of all the Tweets that have happened since I last logged in. It's very difficult to figure out when I'm away from my TweetDeck.

TweetDeck, you suck too. Sometimes I miss tweets because you only show the tweets that have occured since you've last been opened. It all starts over when I reboot or something. If I turn off the computer I have to make sure TweetDeck is all red and I hate being tied down like that.

High ceilings, you're not that cool! It just makes it hard for me to change light bulbs and put up the mistletoe.

Mistletoe! Why do I put you up every year? Do you work? No. In fact is there any other decoration that actually DISCOURAGES casual smooching more? NO!!!

J.J. Abrams, you're horrible for massifying Star Trek. Well, actually it's not that bad, but I still sort of prefer the good 'ol days.

Peter Nash and Joey Smith, you're in the list of grievances because somehow, SOMEHOW you're way bigger Star Trek dorks than I could ever hope to be.

I hate people who think they're being cute with me when they really aren't. Be cute. Just don't be cute with me. I may just want to smack you.

I hate Zooey Deschanel for looking hot ROUND THE CLOCK and for making me angry at girls because they get to wear dresses.

Read past airings of grievances:

2006

2007

2008

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

christmas to you (if you do what i say)!

I've said this on Twitter and Facebook already, so I'll say it here now.

I want to give you a Christmas present. It's small, but heartfelt. I just need from you -- your favorite movie. That's it. Don't stress about it. If you don't want to give me your favorite movie, just give me one you really like.

Comment, email, text, Tweet or Facebook me. Expect your gift sometime next month.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

2009 movies correction #2

Looks like I also forgot to rank The Informant! I thought it was about the same as The Men Who Stare at Goats -- maybe a bit funnier since Damon dissolved into the role so well. It's now ranked between The Men Who Stare at Goats and Terminator Salvation.

Also, I forgot to put in the link to other years' top movie lists. Here they are:

2004

2005

2006

2007

2008

Sunday, December 20, 2009

the strength of samson depleted


2009 Was going to be the year that I didn't get one haircut. Too bad my niece Amy had to go and get married this weekend.

Good luck Amy and Jason!

a couple of notes on the 2009 movie entry

First of all, the reason I posted it so early is because I'm currently out of town and away from my computer and wasn't sure if I'd finish it in time. Here's hoping I'm able to get the movies of the decade done on the road.

That means that all the movies I see on Christmas day (probably Up In the Air and/or Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire) obviously won't be on my 2009 list. 'Tis a total shame, but I'm realizing I forgot at least two movies already. In 2009 I also saw Dead Snow and Taken. Both were two of my favorites and I'd probably put them at about 22 and 21 respectively.

Also, there were a couple of things in my head that I forgot to say about the movies I did see.

An Education -- I forgot to mention how awesome Rosamund Pike is in it. She plays the unenlightened girlfriend of the other guy. She plays stupid real well and you think she actually is stupid until she undercuts Carey Mulligan in a way that's plenty insulting, but not insulting enough for Carey to justifiably call her out. I guess girls are good at that kind of thing. This chick was a master.

Star Trek -- I wanna say that it was great, but the whole time travel story connecting it to the "canonical" Star Trek universe was unnecessary for me. I could get over it, but unfortunately most of the rest of my Star Trek brethren don't feel the same way. I think that's a shame. They could have re-booted the series and I would've been on board plenty.

Inglorious Basterds -- Christoph Waltz should be nominated for supporting actor. Icy, sadistic, scary and riveting. As it was said on At the Movies (I think): "The guy is terrifying in four languages."

Anyway, here's hoping the movies I see the rest of this year aren't as good.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

my 50 favorite movies of 2009!

Quite a year for movies! Best haul ever! Some of these I was able to catch on video before the year was over so I don't have a stub for every single movie. Some stubs are from special screenings of old movies too, so they don't all match up. whatever.




50. Gigantic
I hesitate to put this movie in here as my least favorite movie of the year. Honestly, I kind of gleefully love to hate it. I have more schadenfreude for this flick than any other. You've probably never heard of it, but that's fine. It's a quirky indie comedy that's trying SO HARD to be a quirky indie comedy that it's the phoniest thing ever. EVER! I'm not going to complain about quirk-queen Zooey Deschanel (although for this one I easily couls). I will very much complain about Paul Dano -- the indie mumble king kill-joy. Hey, at least that super-funny Zach Galifianakis is in it. Everything that guy says is funny. Too bad he doesn't say one thing in the movie. I'm totally serious. I do wish everybody sees this though. For sure anybody making a quirky comedy needs to see this to learn what not to do.

49. Confessions of a Shopaholic
I confess! I'm addicted to shopahol! I was so excited to see this because I've been on an Isla Fisher high ever since Hot Rod. It's tragic that this movie was petty and dull -- even for girls.

48. Duplicity
This was confusing -- but not so confusing that I couldn't follow it. I simply didn't follow it though because it was even less interesting.

47. Push
Yeah, it's a superhero movie, but it has the distinct disadvantage of not being based on anything specific. I guess that would make it original in the purest sense -- but it sure didn't feel original at all. Also it had the distinct disadvantage of also having Dakota Fanning's obnoxiousness and Djimoun Hounsou's weird voice and accent. Oh, and not to be confused with Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire, which has the most overdone title in history and I haven't seen it yet.

46. Adventureland
Okay, fine there's something TOTALLY wrong with me, because I wasn't affected in the slightest by this movie. I went in knowing that it wasn't meaning to be a straight-up comedy like the marketing attempted to sell. Still, I was totally lost wondering where the heart of it all was. Friends and critics I trust told me it was touching, but it simply didn't exist for me. Part of the problem may be with the two leads: Columbus and Bella Swan. They have the most stilting, distracting deliveries of any actors I've ever seen.

45. Monsters vs. Aliens
I remember having a modest amount of fun, but I mostly remember thinking that a lot more potential was blown. I mean, it could've ransacked all sorts of tales from both mythologies.

44. Surrogates
Five problems: 1) nothing much happened at all, 2) the ending was revealed in the trailer (although edited in the trailer to deceive us as to what actually happens), 3) the protagonist and the antagonist pretty much had the same agenda, 4) Bruce Willis looked better as a normal person than he did as a surrogate, which kind of defeats the purpose of what they're used for, 5) the debate could have been explored far more interestingly and applied to today's concept of on-line avatars.

43. Friday the 13th
I've always been a bit more of a Freddy guy myself. This one had the kid who plays Dick Casablancas in Veronica Mars pretty much playing the exact same character. That's all I really remember. I think I should be remembering the gruesome, imaginative deaths; but I don't.

42. Gentlemen Broncos
I think the trailer was amazing. Seriously. I went to a showing of this with the director and much of the crew. Sad to say that even that audience seemed to be pity-laughing. Jemaine Clement is seriously funny; but, not to blame the other actors, the story isn't.

41. The Men Who Stare at Goats
There is sort of a running joke about Ewan McGregor being confused about what a "Jedi" is. I liked that joke even though the meta-reference cheaply takes us out of the movie we're watching. I was glad to be taken out though. It either needed to be played straighter or more absurdly. I guess the people who made the movie were all good friends and had a good time making the movie. It'd be nice if they let the audience in on that good time.

40. Terminator Salvation
I've got a huge beef with the entire Terminator franchise of movies and TV shows. I've explained this several times over the past few days as part of an effort to get people to boycott Avatar. Long story. The point is, every piece of work involving the Terminator universe beyond the first movie (which was awesome btw) is derivative of the first work and retroactively takes away from the stakes of that first work. On a less abstract note: the decision to have the focus shared between the characters of Christian Bale and Sam Worthington was an encumbering mistake. The focus should have been on one of them -- and based on the charisma and performances, it should have definitely been Worthington.

39. The Class
I heard this movie was really good. It was a lot like sitting through class -- with subtitles.

38. X-Men Origins: Wolverine
It is refreshing to see Hugh Jackman go back into the role that made him a star. Plus I appreciate that he takes the Wolverine role so seriously when in real life he's like a song and dance man or something. However, I would have done quite a few things differently with this movie. I can't believe they gagged Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool. His mouth is his best asset. That goes for the comic book character of Deadpool as well. Seems a waste to not let him speak when speaking is a key quality of the way the character was conceived. It looked like they tried to stitch some kind of story together from actors and characters they had on hand. The stitching wasn't done well. Lots of people may think something like that doesn't matter in a film such as this -- but honestly it totally does.

37. The Informers
This movie is horrible. It does not deserve to score this well on the list. It's creepy and grimy and depressing and has no real redeeming qualities and has characters you wouldn't mind getting tortured. However, Bret Easton Ellis captured some really awesome 80s gloss. Bonus 80s points! And this is some of my favorite 80s sights and sounds too -- Patrick Nagel and New Order. I have no idea why it's called The Informers.

36. Whatever Works
This one gets bonus points for being a Woody Allen movie, but it is possibly my least favorite Woody Allen movie I've seen (I've seen 27 of them). I guess it's a re-working of something he started a while ago. It feels very immature and petty. It's one thing that I don't agree much with what the movie says, but another thing entirely when the movie isn't interesting or funny enough to even merit the discussion.

35. I Love You, Beth Cooper
I love the book, which was written by a guy who used to write for The Simpsons. As I read it, I thought to myself how good the movie would be. I was naive to think that because so much of the book has to do with the humorous thought processes of the main characters. It had its parts, but much of the timing was way off. Better than I thought it would be though, since the critics panned it so hard.

34. Public Enemies
The best thing about this one is the sweet hillbilly-type jazz music that played while Dillinger cruised in his sweet ride. I also have a little crush on Marion Cotillard. Lots of missed potential, though. The video did not look right to me. It may have been the way it was projected in my theater, but the night scenes especially looked like 1985-era camcorder material. I guess the digital filming was kind of a big deal. I think it was a big mistake. I sort of got involved in Johnny Depp's character, but no others. Too many close ups on him and not enough wide angles to let us into the story.

33. Milk
This is actually a film from 2008, but I saw it in 2009 (we go through this every year). Ummm... it was a while ago. Pretty good. Seems like I had a problem with how it ended, but it is a true story after all. How can I complain about history?

32. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Pretty good. I expected as much since it's the second-best book. The people I saw it with who hadn't read the book didn't really gel with it much at all. Understandable.

31. Twilight Saga: New Moon
I think I like this one more now that I've seen Taylor Lautner do a laudable job on Saturday Night Live. This thing did have a bunch more quality than the first one, and I still think the humor in the movies puts them a step above the books.

30. The Time Traveler's Wife
Liked it more than I thought I would. Lost my ticket stub though. That will bug me until the day I die.

29. Fast and Furious
For me, there was something mysteriously magical about the first one. This captured a lot of that again -- whatever it is. Glad to see they're going back to hijacking moving semi trucks at high speed. That's the least sensible thing to do ever, but I'm glad they make movies about it.

28. Prom Night in Mississippi
My good friend Shanna (maybe you shouldn't click on that, since she NEVER updates her blog) nabbed me tickets to this Sundance documentary. The story is about a certain high school's first black/white integrated prom. Interesting to see how the kids felt in comparison to the generation above them.

27. Fanboys
Here's an interesting one. I liked it a lot, even though hardly anybody else did. Kind of the opposite of Adventureland. Hmmm. Curious. Joe and I watched Adventureland together and we both hated it while tons of other people liked that one. Joe and I also watched this one together. Anyway, it's Star Wars vs. Star Trek. Few things interest me more.

26. Zombieland
I did have a lot of fun with this, but I had a ton of complaints where all I heard was praise from everyone else. It was funny, but I didn't appreciate having time to figure out the punchlines before they happened. This was the second-to-last zombie movie ever.

25. Sunshine Cleaning
This is sort of an indie chick flick, but I enjoyed Amy Adams and Emily Blunt cavorting around. The movie received some complaints about starting up plot threads and going nowhere with them. I didn't mind that. I think it worked simply for the purposes of throwing the audience off and playing with expectations.

24. RiffTrax Live: Plan 9 From Outer Space
What can I say? It's the worst movie ever made and I got to sit back and watch someone else make fun of it. I could've done without the musical guests and extra filler they threw in, but once the movie started: gut-busting.

23. The Hangover
A noble comedic effort (but quite overrated).

22. I Love You Man
Very funny, but this movie helped me realize why Paul Rudd is funny in Role Models and Wet Hot American Summer. He looks like a nice guy, but isn't at all. In this movie he's actually playing a nice guy and looks like a nice guy. The absurdity isn't there.

21. Drag Me to Hell
Bonus points for the awesome title. Also, that chick from Matchstick Men I think is in it. Good to see her again! Anyway, maybe people were put off by the title. It's actually more of a morality tale than a horror movie. Sort of a gruesome Aesop's fable. Plus also the girl accidentally trips over a coffin corpse and the embalming fluid spills all over her.

20. It Might Get Loud
I love love love Jack White. Jimmy Page is awesome. And honestly, I sort of do consider myself a fan of The Edge. So there's not much to miss about a documentary that gets them all together. Their scenes together seem a bit forced, though. The solitary stuff is gold, though. The real money though is some of the old footage -- like an early Jimmy Page performance when he was like 15 or something.

19. Extract
Poor Mike Judge. His show goes on tv for 10 seasons but all of his movies fail, and the movies are what I'm a fan of. Judge's sly observations of working life plus Jason Bateman's exquisite delivery make for a great time. Where Office Space skewers management, Extract skewers the workforce. Great bookends.

18. Gran Torino
This came out in 2008, but I saw it in the theater in 2009. It was good.

17. Fired Up
It really is funny. "You know what John Lennon always said?" "No I don't. I'm not in my fifties. I could ask my dad, though." This movie got a lot of flack because of what it is. For me, it's just funny. And way better than Bring it On which it sort of honors/lampoons. At least this one kept the joke to the end. "Did we win? Are we going to state?" "No, we came in nineteenth."

16. The Brothers Bloom
Here's a quirky indie comedy, but it's not annoying like Gigantic. This one lets us really enjoy the characters and make friends with them. The ending drags slightly. Bonus points go to the director, Rian Johnson, for recording an audio commentary on mp3 so that I could take my iPod into the theater and listen to the commentary there.

15. Michael Jackson: This is It
This movie wasn't supposed to be released in theaters, but since what happened happened I guess it was inevitable. This is a business movie though. It was awesome to see Michael Jackson doing his business. He was lousy at living in the real world, but when it came to work he was awesome. A great employer and an incredibly hard, serious worker. At least that's what the movie showed. I'm not a big fan of dance at all, but his putting together of the choreography is fascinating. At the moment, I don't think he molested those kids. It also helped that most of the film is dedicated to the Thriller/Bad era. Good good stuff. One other thing to watch for: the very pretty blond girl who is one of the dancers.

14. Paranormal Activity
Well, either the gimmick works for you or it doesn't. Here's why it worked for me. When I see a big-budget special effects horror movie I see a swift technical crane shot with some cgi monster thrown in under the score of Hans Zimmer or something. That's at least three movie-making techniques that come to my attention and take me out of the movie if I notice them. In Paranormal Activity they take some time to establish this world of a home-video camera. After we're established in that world the unusual events of that world really seem like they're happening -- and not just in movie-world.

13. District 9
Could you believe this extravaganza is considered low-budget? Nice. Hey Blomkamp! Teach James Cameron a thing or two!

12. An Education
Just saw this a couple of days ago by myself. It's still playing if you wanna see it. This movie made me feel like a 16-year-old British schoolgirl again. And Carey Mulligan is yet another new crush. She's not 16 in real life, so it's okay.

11. Funny People
This was way too long, but I think I liked it way more than most people who also saw it. It's kind of like Adam Sandler's version of The Wrestler.

10. Mary and Max
Thanks again to Shanna for getting me the tickets to this Sundance claymation heart-warmer. It's a touching story of two very mismatched pen pals. Awww. Seriously, awww.

9. A Serious Man
The Coen's version of the story of Job -- but not quite. If we're alone in the universe, how do we behave? Is personal morality enough or do we need a higher power watching over us? Is what we're suffering from unnecessary and random or is the true storm around the corner? I wouldn't call this movie a dark comedy at all. It's more of a light, philosophical drama.

8. Watchmen
A very faithful adaptation of a story I love. I wrote lots about it here and here.

7. Up
I didn't cry. That's because I was dehydrated that day.

6. Moon
Even if the idea of science fiction and ghosts and clones or whatever puts you off -- see this movie to see Sam Rockwell play three different parts that are all the same and also completely different.

5. The Wrestler
Another 2008. Very real.

4. The Hurt Locker
I guess this is the first good Iraq war movie. It's told in the hand-held camera style that I hate so much, BUT somehow it's effective here. It's obvious, but at the same time not noticeable. Perhaps because the story and setting are perfect for it. Still no idea what "the hurt locker" is though.

3. Star Trek
My biggest complaint about this movie is that it was so good. Now everybody who isn't a Trekkie like me has a surface knowledge of the Star Trek universe. You're all poseurs! Star Trek is mine! MINE!

2. (500) Days of Summer
This movie wins hard for being a chick flick that's not really a chick flick. It is more of a guy chick flick isn't it? Depressing and defeatist. There needs to be a term for guy chick flick. I was trying earlier to think of the term but couldn't. I also appreciate this one for being very similar in plot and structure to another favorite of mine, Annie Hall. Anyway, the scene of the year has to go to the beautifully done split screen that shows the expectations of the night and the actual reality. You can't disagree with me.

1. Inglourious Basterds
This movie has some major problems. I'll list those first. The title is wrong. In my opinion, the basterds are a minor point in the movie. Those who actually watched it were undoubtedly surprised that most of the screen time went toward the Nazi SS officer and the young Jewish woman who got away from him years earlier. That's what the movie is about. I'm sad that the marketing pushed the movie as nothing more than a violent WWII piece of pulp fiction (I type that as an actual term and not a reference to the other Tarantino movie). My other problem is with the sudden turning of character of Landa in the end. It may have been necessary to show the brutality of the basterds. I'm pretty sure that plot point and the entire re-writing of World War II was necessary for Tarantino to play with the concept of heroes and villains. The heroes of this movie really cross the line. I don't want to give too much away, but I really think the heroes completely become anti-heroes when, for lack of a better term, the Nazi holocaust happens. There is a lot of dialogue in this movie and I loved it. I savored it. It wasn't just talking. It's tension. One of the best scenes of the year goes to the opening 20 minutes when the SS officer is merely having a conversation with the French dairy farmer. They're not just talking. They're playing chess with words. But the reason I love going to movies is best represented by the scene in which Shoshanna is preparing her Nazi holocaust. She makes her preparations, puts on her red dress and vamps it up to the tune of the main theme from the movie Cat People. How absurd does that sound? Well, it works and it's absolutely wonderfully beautiful.

Sunday, December 06, 2009

a sampling of decadence

So remember how I said everyone try Flickchart? Also remember how I said everyone tell me what your favorite movies of the last decade are? Well, in its incredibly un-scientific methodology, here is my list of the top 50 movies of the decade according to Flickchart (keep in mind that this isn't the list I'll be posting at the end of the year, but perhaps it'll be worth discussing in the meantime):

50. Phone Booth
49. Rocky Balboa
48. Oldboy
47. Insomnia
46. Memento
45. The Fast and the Furious
44. Cloverfield
43. Hellboy
42. Stranger Than Fiction
41. Batman Begins
40. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
39. Meet the Parents
38. Grindhouse
37. O Brother, Where Art Thou?
36. V for Vendetta
35. Napoleon Dynamite
34. Little Miss Sunshine
33. The Village
32. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
31. High Fidelity
30. Hero
29. Kill Bill Vol. 2
28. Training Day
27. Iron man
26. Chicago
25. Austin Powers in Goldmember
24. Watchmen
23. Sunshine
22. Casino Royale
21. Planet Terror
20. Shaun of the Dead
19. Wall-E
18. Mean Girls
17. Moulin Rouge
16. Serenity
15. Slumdog Millionaire
14. Donnie Darko
13. Zodiac
12. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
11. The Incredibles
10. The Dark Knight
9. Star Trek
8. No Country for Old Men
7. X-Men
6. Match Point
5. The Ring
4. Unbreakable
3. 28 Days Later
2. X2: X-Men United
1. Kill Bill Vol. 1

Yes, a bit strange of a list, eh? Like I said -- it's not perfect. It just happened to be how the voting turned out at this very moment.

Before you say something like "Where is (500) Days of Summer?" (or some other movie you thought I really liked) -- well keep in mind that many many titles from this decade haven't come up in my flickchart yet.

But what do you think of the movies provided in the order they're in?

Sunday, November 22, 2009

could use a decade of help

I've just realized that the first decade of the 21st century is ending in a few months. Wow. I've got some work to do. For the past five years at the end of every year I make sure to post online a list of my favorite movies and songs from the year. Now that we're hitting the decade mark I'm probably going to do a decade list.

For this reason, please comment, email, text or Twitter me your favorite (or least favorite) movies from the past ten years. I don't want to forget anything.

In case you're interested, here are some of my lists from the past:

MOVIES: 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008

MUSIC: 2004, 2005 (scroll down), 2006, 2007, 2008

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Jon Demand 10: Shaving the Beard

I've been sitting on this one for a long while. Those who know me know I've been beardless for months. Took forever to edit this thing:

Sunday, November 15, 2009

putting off the novel part 2...

Okay, try this. There's this fun movie site called flickchart.com. You should go there and log in.

Here's how it works. Flickchart shows you the posters from two movies, then you just pick the movie you prefer of the two. It puts the movie you just ranked into an ordered list and then offers you two more movies and so on. Your list continues to get updated, sorting your favorite movies to the top and your least favorite to the bottom.

I heard about this site months ago, but it's only recently been out of beta and open to the public. I logged in two days ago and as of this typing I've gone through the process 1,867 times.

It's the new solitaire I'm telling you. Plus, if you're list-obsessive like I am it's a great method.

The funnest is when it's aggravating. Here are some examples of some of the more "Sophie's Choice" type decisions I've had to make.

This little battle managed to put Ferris Bueller's Day Off in my number one spot for a while -- even though 28 Days Later has a special place in my heart as the primary inspiration for this year's Halloween movie (also I have several friends who irrationally believe it to be the worst movie ever made, but that's another story).



Drug-induced Anglophilia or the Frenchifying of Star Wars? Love them both, but from totally different angles.


Coming of age lessons on life, joy and art OR fast cars and fast women? How can there be a WRONG choice here?


Can't vote against Heath! It would tarnish his death and his awesome marching band-backed serenade to Julia Stiles! Then again it's against one of the most beautiful movies ever and the only non-annoying occurrence of Jim Carey ever.


Poetic fighty or new-age scary?


Worst villain: Lumbergh or Joker?


Jewish power or mutant power?


... and this one. It may be easy for you, but it's hard for me, okay!


Those last two were very different, but what if I'm forced to choose between the two best Pixar films? WHAT IF?


Don't make me choose geek sides! Again!


Where do my loyalties lie Coen brother-wise?


This one made me want to invent a time machine so that I could travel to the future to see what decision I made.


Sometimes it's really difficult because you get two popular movies with critics and everyone you know, BUT YOU STILL DESPISE BOTH MOVIES!


Who would have thought that the choice between the third and fourth in a series of six would actually be so very very easy?


Also who would have thought that I would re-live that battle years ago when I was with a group of people who were considering watching the following two movies and everyone besides me said they didn't care which one we watched and I said I wanted to watch The Matrix because I loved it and absolutely despised Gladiator and then I got a phone call and by the time I got off the phone everybody informed me that we were indeed watching Gladiator. Pfft.


Anyway, here's how my top 20 has strangely panned out so far:

20. Serenity
19. The Empire Strikes Back
18. Slumdog Millionaire
17. Die Hard
16. It's a Wonderful Life
15. X-Men
14. Star Trek
13. The Incredibles
12. Grease
11. Ghostbusters
10. X2: X-Men United
9. The Ring
8. 28 Days Later
7. Match Point
6. The Fifth Element
5. Annie Hall
4. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
3. No Country for Old Men
2. Raiders of the Lost Ark
1. Kill Bill Vol. 1

Now, I adore all of these movies, but if you asked me to write down my favorite 20 movies, I'd probably come up with a completely different list. Notice that Flash Gordon is nowhere to be seen and most people close to me know it to actually be my favorite movie. Well, I haven't been asked about Flash Gordon yet. PLUS, who knows what kind of mood I'll be in when I do get asked? Also notice that Empire Strikes Back is lagging behind Star Trek despite the fact that Empire won that particular battle. I'm pretty sure what happened there is Star Trek came up again in a battle with X-Men, which was already ahead of Empire. Unfair probably. The same thing probably happened with The Ring and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and also maybe The Incredibles and Wall-E. Then again, I may have been in a mood.

Here are some bad-showing surprises so far that I will fix through heavy amounts of voting:

73. Trainspotting
81. The Dark Knight
82. Amadeus
89. Star Wars (while Return of the Jedi is at 40!)
117. Top Gun
130. Shaun of the Dead
139. The Matrix
155. Office Space
282. North by Northwest
290. Scream
299. Signs


Here are some that I'm surprised are doing so well:

59. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (although the first Terminator is sitting nicely at 39)
62. Hitch
69. Die Hard With a Vengeance
72. There's Something About Mary
77. Jurassic Park

Anyway, go to flickchart.com. We can be friends, compare lists, laugh, cry, argue and finally hug.

Oh! Another awesome thing about it is that they randomly have different movie posters for each movie. Some of them are very unique and/or foreign and/or retro.

putting off the novel part 1...

I was just struggling what to type before this video, but if you watch it, it's pretty darn self-explanatory.



Thanks to Joe for recording and uploading it.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

na.. no... wri... mo...

My good friend Emily recently pointed me toward an interesting site: http://www.nanowrimo.org/. I would link to her blog or something at this time, but she's very internet Amish -- not even a Facebook account.

Anyway, the point is, November is National Novel Writing Month (or at least the site says it is) and Emily is totally writing a novel. That surprised me. See, we were talking over the Tim Tam slamming eating contest that Emily beats me at every year. She's better at eating melty Australian cookies, but I thought for sure I'd beat her at writing a novel. Very good for her.

So I told her I'm writing a novel too. It's not necessarily true, but if I tell her and then tell enough other people maybe it will happen. Probably not by the end of National Novel Writing Month, but in the definite specific future. I've actually been meaning to for years and I have several different ideas in my head.

Here's the important truth: I dislike the way things exist here on Planet Earth. The way culture and society and stuff has evolved over the past 20 years tasks me quite a bit. Feelings and attitudes are rotten and simply wrong. Yes, there's lots of good, perhaps too much to count or measure, but I simply think the world needs much more.

Now here's the most conceited thing I'll probably ever say: the world inside my head is far more wonderful than the world outside of my head. I'm constantly (annoyingly) doing silly filmy or internety things sorta for fun and sorta for pride. I think though, that the biggest reason I do all these silly things is because I'm trying desperately to translate the good stuff in my head into some kind of reality. I know many people must feel the same way. I want to think I'm creative, but even if I'm not, it doesn't stop the compulsion to create. It's absolutely something I HAVE to do.

Of course compulsion and ability are two very very very different things. As far as I know, the only thing I'm naturally good at is sarcasm. I'll write that book though -- even if I have to painstakingly chisel every word.

Monday, November 02, 2009

day of the dead -- the worst day of the year

November 1st is always pretty depressing for me. That's when there's the most amount of time before more Halloween. May as well post some swell pictures of this past holiday season (even though it's now November 2nd).

This might be interesting. We did a few storyboards for the Zombie movie. So here are some of the concepts and how they turned out. For some of these I actually took some preliminary pictures before I did the storyboards.












Here are some production photos that a few of us took while we were filming:

(I think this was my first day of being a zombie. Many more to follow)


Here are images from normal Halloween parties. Starting with the ones the weekend before Halloween:

Lucia and I didn't have our proper costumes ready so we both had to fall back on old ones. Joe and Camille knocked it out of the park with their Labyrinth theme.

This is the view from the mansion party the week before Halloween. This is looking west from a few blocks north of the capitol.

Here's a gang of us at Dee's a week before Halloween.

So the day before Halloween I went and helped out at the Nielsen Family Haunted Forest. My job was to hide in the trees and scare people who came down the path. Pretty standard haunted forest stuff. My main strategy was to jump out and take a picture with my camera while screaming. In my old age my creepiness knows no bounds. Hopefully these young girls don't mind me posting their screams.

Here is some of the gang gathered for the premier of The Last Zombie Movie EVER!

And finally, here's me posing in my costume, which I finished at about 6:30 on Halloween afternoon. In case you're wondering, I'm Jack Torrance from The Shining. I adjusted the t-shirt words to something I could personally wear and not worry about it being a Halloween costume.