Thursday, December 29, 2005

top 25 in '05... and the 2005 25 best.

To see last year's movie list, click here. How about here for the song list.
Top 25 Movies in '05 (that I've seen (at least part of))
25. Bewitched -- It would have helped if this comedy actually had parts with actual humor in them. The funniest part of the movie was the lame joke that Family Guy made fun of. Allow me to make a huge generalization. Will Ferrell was hilarious on Saturday Night Live, but is totally lame in cinema.
24. Mad Hot Ballroom -- I saw this documentary about elementary school kids taking up competitive dance with a bunch of my friend girls. I hated it, everyone else loved it. To my dismay I've discovered that pretty much everyone else who saw the film loved it. I guess I could be wrong in my assessment, but I still think watching pre-pubescent kids merengue-ing was the absolute creepiest thing I saw on film this year (with the possible exception of the bum in bumless pants we videotaped at Dee's on Halloween night (although that was actually digital tape, not film)).
23. The Brothers Grimm -- Terry Gilliam is a storytelling genius, which made this boring, soulless, unenchanting fantasy film really unfortunate to sit through.
22. Sons of Provo -- Maybe I shouldn't count this. I actually saw it a year and a half ago at an advance screening. It wasn't a very nice movie. The commercialism of Mormonism isn't cool, but this movie proves that insulting those who participate in it is even less cool.
21. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants -- One night I was in a really horrible mood and I wanted some company, so I asked the aforementioned friend girls if I could tag along with whatever they were doing and for some reason they were on their way to see this movie. I notified them that not all of us were 12-year-old girls. We saw it anyway. For what it is(the story of girls who wear pants) it's okay.
20. Memoirs of a Geisha -- I snuck into this one after finishing up another one as I've already talked about here, so I don't have to speak again about how uninteresting I found this geisha's concept of "love."
19. The Ringer -- I only watched five minutes of this, not because I hated it, but because I had to race into the next theater to catch Geisha on time. The part I saw was pretty funny because it had to do with an out-of-luck immigrant losing his fingers by a lawnmower blade.
18. Fever Pitch -- If I remember correctly, this was the last movie I saw in the theater with Charlotte before she moved. She actually wanted to see Hitch, but I had heard that this one was better. It was pretty alright, but I should have known better. The only good baseball movie is the original Naked Gun.
17. In Good Company -- I found that the most fascinating part of this movie wasn't the love story or the life lesson of "what's really important." It was the horror of life in the business world.
16. King Kong -- This goes to show you that you can have near-perfect music, cinematography, characters, action, story and special effects; but still finish 16th because the movie was just too darn long. Does Peter Jackson even have an editor? I guess he wanted to remake this movie because it's the movie that inspired him to be a filmmaker. If that were the case, it should be the absolute last movie he should attempt to improve upon. Actually as long as I'm complaining, the human actors don't mesh well with some of the computer animation (ESPECIALLY in the scene when they're in the middle of the dinosaur stampede), but I actually did believe in Kong and Naomi Watts' nuzzly relationship.
15. Hitch -- Rhymes with Fever Pitch, but has more funny parts.
14. Santa Claus vs. The Snowman -- My cutie friend Laura and I finally watched this planetarium seasonal favorite. 3-D is so cool. It's not gimmicky to me at all since I hardly ever get to experience it.
13. Corpse Bride -- I like anything with skeletons. When the skeletons play jazz, I like it a little more. Add in a wonderful story involving the anxiety of trying to date two women at once (one of them dead) and there is no way I can hate it.
12. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe -- Did you know Santa Claus lives in Narnia? How delightful! I wrote a little about it here.
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire -- Very good, but the one before it is better.
10. Walk the Line -- My brother Jeff needs to know that you don't need to enjoy country music to really enjoy this bittersweet story. You just have to understand desire, imperfection, frustration and sincerity.
9. The Island -- Whoops. Did this thing slip into the top ten? I probably should have at least put Walk the Line ahead of it. Oh well, It's probably not that deserving of the accolades I give it, but it was a lot of fun anyway (more fun than I thought it would be, and exceeding expectations counts for more good than just being good in itself).
8. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith -- It's nice that Star Wars is finally over so that I can go on with my life. I went pretty in-depth with this movie right here.
7. The Transporter 2 -- I only saw the last half-hour of this after walking out of another movie. The parts that I saw contained over-the-top camp villainy, ridiculous unnecessary stunts, ridiculous unnecessary martial arts, ridiculous unnecessary wardrobes and lots of techno. Do these things make a weak movie? NO! They make a wicked awesome butt-kicking movie!
6. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy -- Read the book. In the meantime, this adaptation of one of my favorite books ever has Zooey Deschanel in it, so you can't go wrong.

5. Serenity -- I invested so much time prepping for my viewing of this film that I'd feel wasteful grading this one any lower. It helps that I care about the characters so much before even entering the theater. I wrote a little more about it here.
4. Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit -- The visual gags and puns are as good as any Simpsons episode. Plus it's all just so darn cute! I'll probably take my kids to this one.
3. Sky High -- This movie is about superheroes, has an eighties soundtrack, and takes place in high school! On top of all that it's funny, has a cute planty girl in it and two members of the Kids in the Hall. They made this one just for me.
2. New York Doll -- This one spoke to me on several levels. Mormonism, mortality, the absolute need to rock... I could go on, and I already did on a previous post right here.
1. Batman Begins -- This is how comic book movies are supposed to be made. It doesn't focus on the "fwakathoom" explosions, but rather the words in serious characters' thought balloons. Darkness and depth with no catering to the feel-gooders who just want to see something thoughtless on the weekend.
The 2005 25 Best Songs
25. "Jetstream" by New Order -- New Order's new album is a lot more consistent than their last, but didn't have the single power. This one at least has Ana Matronic of the Scissor Sisters.
24. "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani -- This song is only annoying if you don't give in.
23. "Since U Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson -- Kelly is absolutely the only American Idol who will ever matter. I applaud her tireless efforts to stay that way.
22. "I Predict a Riot" by Kaiser Chiefs -- These guys are plenty annoying, but they're picking the right influences. I'll let them have their fifteen minutes (which have already passed).
21. "Breathe" by Erasure -- I think Vince Clarke isn't putting the energy in he needs to, but the band is saved by Andy Bell's dreamy vocals. Makes me wish I picked up his solo album.
20. "Prepare For the Fight" by Lovemakers -- I only heard this song once, but it took me right back to 1985.
19. "Laura" by Scissor Sisters -- Was this song from 2005? Oh well. Great great groove.
18. "Gold Digger" by Kanye West -- Kanye has bugged me for so long, but I finally gave in for this one.
17. "Hung Up" by Madonna -- I get my hopes up whenever I hear the ABBA sample. The beat is strong, though, and Madonna is still listenable.
16. "It's Not the Fall That Hurts" by Caesars -- I'm so glad I accidentally listened to a Caesar's cd at Virgin a couple of years ago and then really wound up getting into this Swedish group of Kinksy dance-rock. I was really happy to see that their cd made one of EW's year-end best-ofs.
15. "A Pain That I'm Used To" by Depeche Mode -- The opening track of their new cd sounds like a Depeche Mode thesis statement. I wrote more about it right here.
14. "An Honest Mistake" by The Bravery -- I'm noticing that a lot of entertainment publications are knocking The Bravery for being too pedestrian. To me, they simply take their simple sound and simply do it very, very well.
13. "Girl" by Beck -- This was THE song of summer, and I didn't hear it until fall.
12. "Perfect Situation" by Weezer -- I was going to pick "We Are All On Drugs," but this one is just too irresistible and too sing-alongy to. Old school Weezer is back!
11. "Blue Orchid" by The White Stripes -- Their new cd contains tons of piano and marimbas and weird stuff. My favorite, though is the one that pretty much just has a wailing guitar with a rockin' falsetto.
10. "Juicebox" by The Strokes -- I never really considered The Strokes to really "rock" that much, but this one has the best Strokes gravel howl I've ever heard. Looking forward to their new cd.
9. "All These Things That I've Done" by The Killers -- "Wait, Jon!" you say. "This one was number four on last year's list!" True, but that was before it was a single, before the Anton Corbijn-directed video and before the entire nation was able to sing along to "I got soul, but I'm not a soldier!"
8. "Vermillion pt. 2" by Slipknot -- "Wait, Jon! Slipknot? Are you crazy?" Maybe I am. I've kept this depressing bassy acoustic number in my head since the very beginning of the year. I swore when I heard it that I wouldn't forsake it. It's pretty sad and sad songs make me happy.
7. "Little Sister" by Queens of the Stone Age -- This doesn't just have cowbell, but the cowbell certainly doesn't hurt.
6. "Soul Meets Body" by Death Cab For Cutie -- I never much cared for Death Cab, but I adore the mood they set with this song -- sort of a dead serious dreamstate. I also like the image of a Greyhound station being in my head.
5. "B.Y.O.B." by System of a Down -- Every aspect and instrument in this song is pummelling then relaxed. It makes for the absolute funnest song of the year to karaoke, air guitar and air drum to.
4. "Nth Degree" by Morningwood -- They make spelling fun!
3. "Feel Good Inc." by Gorillaz -- I'm actually sick of this song now. I'd probably rather put the beautiful disco "Dare" on here, but "Feel Good Inc." is destined to be a cartoon rap/britpop/disco/dystopian classic.
2. "Do You Want To" by Franz Ferdinand -- I love the sweet attitude of this song: "Sure baby, today's your lucky day... I'll put out for you." I met Alex Kapronos and made the mistake of calling his music throwback eighties. He was like, "Why does everyone say that? I just want to play some rock for you!"
1. "Only" by Nine Inch Nails -- Weird, dark post-industrial mess about (I think) losing faith? I'm intrigued. Disco beat? I'm converted. I think 2005 is totally the year of disco. I mean listen to this. It's dark, but totally glimmering. Listen to my (weak) remix of this song here.

4 Comments:

Blogger Rhett said...

is it "Caesers" or "The Caesers"?

January 03, 2006 10:47 AM  
Blogger joN. said...

although the computer calls them 'the caesars' when you rip their cd, it's actually just 'caesars.' that's what it says on the cd package and their original name was 'caesar's palace.'

January 07, 2006 11:11 AM  
Blogger joN. said...

with an 'a.'

January 07, 2006 11:12 AM  
Blogger Jeffy said...

Regarding "Walk the Line," Joaquin was outstanding, Reese was wonderful (which goes without saying, since she replaced Meg Ryan as my favorite current actress when Meg decided to leave the planet 10 years ago), and I wanted to jump up and tear down the screen every time Johnny reached for his "pills." It's probably a good thing I didn't, since I was watching it on a 5 inch screen at 30,000 feet at the time, and someone might have tried to throw me out of the "theater" for doing so.

I found myself very emotional and very frustrated -- does that mean I liked it? I told Susan I didn't like it. Ironically, I enjoyed the country music parts of the movie, because at least when he was singing he wasn't taking pills or cheating on his wife.

February 23, 2006 9:01 AM  

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