These days, I live more on Twitter than I do in real life. If you've wondered how 2012 went with me, here it is in Twitter form. You should be able to piece together my hilarious and tragic life just fine from the following transcript of mostly sad highlights and weak philosophy. Actually, it's pretty much just about going to movies and eating hot dogs.
(follow me! ... @rexbasior.)
(follow me! ... @rexbasior.)
12 Jan:
Salt Lake City is the gayest city in America? Wait until I tell my husbands!
20 Jan:
Hearty recommendations to both Sundance movies I've seen so far -- The Raid and Indie Game: The Movie. I cried in one and bled in the other.
26 Jan:
How did we kiss passionately before the French arrived on the scene?
26 Feb:
Won the Oscar pool. My house. My rules. My birthday. Thanks to my friends and thanks to cinema. Next year it's black tie.
9 Mar:
After Bridesmaids and now Friends With Kids there needs to be a sitcom where Jon Hamm is constantly cruel to Kristen Wiig.
17 Mar:
Valley Fair Mall is officially considered another country, right?
23 Mar:
She had a whole wardrobe team, but Katniss looked her hottest in the opening minutes in designer boots and undersized Robin Hood outfit.
23 Mar:
I'm incredibly surprised that the couples from Districts 1 and 2 spent that first night on rest rather than orgy.
29 Mar:
Ahhh, spring allergies -- God's way of telling us we don't deserve a perfect season.
29 Mar:
A nice young man at work asked me today, "Hey man, how old are you? 25?" Shucks. I'm officially gay now.
29 Mar:
Hey, remember that whole me being gay thing? That totally wore off.
11 Apr:
Tomorrow I start my new job as a copywritter. Excited!
12 Apr:
Was worried about being ready for my new job. Fortunately, that 10-year course on the difference between CTRL+C and CTRL+V totally paid off.
14 Apr:
Doing my taxes, although my income hardly warrants a pluralization of that. Doing my tax. There.
20 Apr
If I ever started a sushi place, I'd call it Su Su Sushio. Our famous roll will be called the "Phil Collins" (we'd also have a Rick roll).
1 May:
This churro is so covered in sugar that I take flight merely by happy thoughts.
3 May:
Seriously people, I really appreciate all of your prayers. I'm happy to report that they weren't in vain. I just had my first Doritos taco.
3 May:
The 2005 episode of Doctor Who I just watched took place west of Salt Lake City in 2012. Right place at right time for the first time ever.
4 May:
So the last half hour of Avengers. That was a direct homage to Team America right?
8 May:
This may make me sound really old, but I gotta say it. The music of Phil Collins gets more and more awesome the more I look like him.
19 May:
So the ol' X-box stopped working. 30 seconds from now will be a panic attack. 90 seconds from now will be a shooting spree. #advancewarning
2 Jun:
What made me happy today: Hot dog from Maverick. Sometimes you really gotta look.
2 Jun:
Nobody join me for Snow White and the Huntsman at 8:40 at Century 16. Haven't showered today and also I'm bald.
3 Jun:
The best part of Snow White and the Huntsman is how she thought to wear her JMR jeans underneath the gown she was imprisoned in.
22 Jun:
Also strange that Ferris and Sloane's brilliant plan to snap Cam out of a trance is to precariously prop him on a diving board.
23 Jun:
A fun part of going to Broadway Theatre these days is seeing all the old people walking out of Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.
23 Jun:
Other fun thing about going to Broadway Theatre these days: watching all the young douches go into Moonrise Kingdom.
26 Jun:
A Maverick hot dog covered in onions followed immediately by 2 Arby-Qs. SHAME ALERT! SHAME ALERT! #crying
30 Jun:
My body is having an allergic reaction to all the deodorants I try. I may need to join a commune.
30 Jun:
Does anyone need anything from Home Depot? I'm making my septannual visit now.
4 Jul:
Befitting the holiday, I always seem to spend Independence Day alone.
4 Jul:
Used ID4 as excuse to buy my latest Maverick hot dog then immediately realized I'm statistically guaranteed to die from a Maverick hot dog.
11 Jul:
Rather than getting a good night's rest, i think something I dreamed about beat me up.
16 Jul:
I've earned more coins playing DrawSomething than I've earned at my actual job.
21 Jul:
The Dark Knight Rises was the best remake of Rocky III I've ever seen.
24 July:
Do I have to drive to the airport to get a Cinnabon?
24 July:
Okay new rule: The guy getting picked up from the airport is now required to buy the pick-up guy a Cinnabon. SPREAD IT! (pls RT)
26 Jul:
Siri, will the day I stop being angry be the day I die?
6 Aug:
It's taken like 30 years, but I just realized I'm totally gay for girls.
8 Aug:
Hey gang. I'll be attending my first Star Trek convention ever this weekend. Taking requests on which ST celebrities you'd like me to stab.
10 Aug:
Mind. Blown. I'm at a Star Trek convention and there's no wi-fi. #trekcon
15 Aug:
I'm totally getting skin failure. I may have a flesh-eating virus. Why couldn't I have gotten a fat-eating virus?
18 Aug:
Left the house today to get my oil changed. Came home with 106 vinyl records. Either have the awesomest or the miserablest life imaginable.
18 Aug:
Suddenly sneezing while urinating just now may have been my most stressful half second of this year.
21 Aug:
Do not give me the remedy. I prefer the itch.
24 Aug:
Maybe you've already seen BACK, maybe you haven't. But do you know what's hilarious? Watching it with YouTube captions. http://youtu.be/Ew298ytWJHo
25 Aug:
Siri, why do midgets want us to call them dwarfs? They don't have magic armor and rarely grow long white beards.
25 Aug:
When I eat alone I often think well at least I'm not sharing this awkward silence with anybody.
1 Sep:
Leaving the theater after watching Hit and Run. Resisting the urge to peel out. Of course I drive a Corolla, so... default.
4 Sep:
Ugh. I ate like kings yesterday. Yeah that's right. Kings. Plural.
6 Sep:
The apology email from Netflix whenever they send a damaged disc is pretty much the kindest correspondence I receive these days.
9 Sep:
At Smith's: Nissin chow mein, Skittles Riddles, Ruffles BBQ chips, Softsoap body wash and a Wired magazine comes to EXACTLY $15.
14 Sep:
WOW. I'm never up THIS early! Thanks, dream in which I've been shot in the head!
17 Sep:
A beautiful song is already written and perfectly catered to YOU. You'd weep instantly if you heard it. Tragically, you'll never hear it.
19 Sep:
Considering contributing to public radio. My parents' disappointment in me is finally complete.
22 Sep:
I would totally drink a balsamic vinegar flavored soda.
28 Sep:
A half hour ago I will finishing watch Looper. Or will I saw it in 30 years? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggghhhhh!!!!! #timetravel
5 Oct:
First command on my new iPhone: "Siri, KILL FLANDERS."
9 Oct:
Couple i'm next to at concert are slow dancing. I forget. is it shank someone with a shiv or shiv someone with a shank?
12 Oct:
Our annual party assembly/talent show event is easily my most stressful three hours of work all year.
18 Oct:
My showers usually take 11 minutes, but I've missed a few lately. Today's shower lasted 66 minutes.
20 Oct:
Nothing set this evening, so I head to the office to put in a bit of OT. Network down. Forced to leave. This weekend even WORK rejected me.
22 Oct:
Siri, if human blood provides life-giving essence to vampires, why are they so unconcerned when it spills everywhere when they feed?
22 Oct:
Hey Siri! It's like they suck at sucking! Hahahaha!
22 Oct:
Siri! Please start talking to me again!
26 Oct:
I would likely buy the iPad mini if they just called it the iPhone maxi.
28 Oct:
Don't necessarily want to be young again, but at least when I was young there were a lot less young people. pic.twitter.com/ps0xVUs7
2 Nov:
About 90% sure that the employees at the Del Taco near work are sick of me coming over and are poisoning me.
5 Nov:
Siri, are people who back their cars into parking spaces just deluding themselves?
6 Nov:
Can I break with the enthusiasm? If you don't know who to vote for, do a favor and don't vote. Eeny meeny miny isn't progress or patriotism.
8 Nov:
While my head's shaved I'm thinking of starting a high-octane video web series entitled "WUSS STATHAM!"
12 Nov:
Siri, remind me to hire an intern to confiscate my razor blades in case I listen to The Cure Pandora station all day again.
16 Nov:
Slipping... out... of consciousness. If... I survive... the night... never... Carl's Jr.... again...
19 Nov:
Because of perfectly aligned windows, the Earth's sun and Indy's Staff of Ra; there's a 3 hour daily period I can't see my computer screen.
22 Nov:
I always get depressed on Thanksgiving because I kinda have TOO many things to be thankful for.
1 Dec:
If you're looking for a place to dine but you're also a cheap jerk, consider Maccaroni Grill. Absolutely the best water in town.
1 Dec:
Usually when I eat alone the hostess provides a dude waiter for me. Finally realized they do that because guys who eat alone are creeps.
4 Dec:
Don't let them torture the drone! MT @cnnbrk: Iran says captured U.S. military drone, U.S. says no drones are missing.http://on.cnn.com/SuKd8b
5 Dec:
So sad. Stopped off at Maverick for a cheddarwurst and 2 Krispy Kremes and now have no room for my nightly ritual sleeve of Oreos. :(
7 Dec:
End of Watch must be the first movie completely made up of deleted scenes.
7 Dec:
Peed 3x at same theater. Before, during and after the movie. Do I not sweat enough?
9 Dec:
Speaking of, totally gave my number to a dude last night. Not gay but he was pretty good looking. Nice to know I still got it.
9 Dec:
Siri, is a panic attack just adrenalized meditation?
10 Dec:
I'm gonna see Django Unchained, then probably Les Miz, AND THEN I'm gonna open presents.
11 Dec:
I think at this point I actually need to hand-write a letter to Pandora explaining that Creedence Clearwater Revival just isn't my thing.
11 Dec:
Pandora just played the 21-minute version of "Dazed and Confused." Now naked on the floor rubbing lava lamp fluid on me and still at work.
12 Dec:
Oof. Ate so much Rio for lunch today that I think I cracked two ribs. I'd be proud if I wasn't still crying.
12 Dec:
Lack of jolliness. RT @RoyFillmore: @rexbasior Jon, how do you not weigh 300 pounds right now?
14 Dec:
Finally finished watching The Hobbit. It was pretty good! Definitely the second best film version of that book.
14 Dec:
Non-spoiler quick review of The Hobbit: It's kinda like watching 1/3 of Fellowship, but in slow motion.
18 Dec:
I don't get why after I've committed to give a stranger a few bucks, they still continue on with their story. Does it end with a punchline?
22 Dec:
iTunes wouldn't sync, the store didn't have the right size, the restaurant has the wrong special. The world really did end... subtly.
24 Dec:
My mustache cowlicks are going right up my nostrils. Happy holidays.
25 Dec:
When they say make the Yuletide gay, are they talking about Prancer? Cuz that's a pretty gay name, even for reindeer.
26 Dec:
I'm fairly certain that the "I Dreamed a Dream" sequence was a shot for shot remake of Sinead O'Conner's "Nothing Compares 2 U" video.
27 Dec:
Watching some Buffy tonight. She knows kung fu, which I have no problem with. What I don't understand is why the VAMPIRES know kung fu.
31 Dec:
If you have medication that says "take with food," do other pills count as food?
31 Dec:
Got a pretty nasty cold so I won't be kissing anyone tonight. Unless of course there are girls around.
