Saturday, December 24, 2011

airing of grievances '11


A picture of the preview screen on my camera (because I can't find my SD card reader and the camera dock connection only works half the time and it takes forever anyway) of holiday gifts underneath a Festivus pole can only mean one thing: it's time for this year's airing of grievances.

A camera that doesn't sync up to a computer with a standard USB attachment-
Hey! I can't find my SD card reader. It's the 21st century. Cameras and computers should be able to talk to each other all the time. It's not like we're putting pictures on paper anymore.

Low urinals-
Nobody's that short. Not even me. Not at my work anyway. If you're so short you can't reach the urinal, bring a booster stander. Can I aim that low? Yes. Does the angle and velocity cause a higher danger of gross splashback? YES. And there is the high urinal, but it's always taken and I feel really strange entering and then immediately exiting the bathroom when that's the case.

Popcorn-
After 100 years can't we get a different relatively cheap movie munchie? Popcorn butter makes me nauseated. Also, even if I just observe a friend eating popcorn, I get a kernel stuck in my teeth somehow.

Nauseous-
If you're nauseous, it means you cause nausea. Nobody uses this correctly, not even Lisa Simpson.

He and I-
When you say "he and I" or "she and I," are you ABSOLUTELY SURE you're using them as the subjects of the sentence? There's a very good chance you're supposed to be using different words.

Diet Coke-
Alright. I know half of us love it, but it's about time we said out loud that it's obviously far more addictive than normal Coke. Why is it so necessary for half of us to drink it non-stop when WATER tastes way better. As I'm typing this, I think there's a good chance I've aired my grievance on this already. Oh well. Here's the deal though, if you want something sweet, drink something sweet. Maybe THEN the craving will go away rather than ruling your life daily.

New Coke-
Where has it been?

RC Cola-
It's just Pepsi, right?

Ergonomics-
When are they going to make the computer station with the screen angled high and down and the keyboard close to the lap and heavily angled away? You know a work and viewing station based on SLOUCHING -- which is my natural formation.

Internet-
We've all got high speed internet, but it's way slower than it used to be because most of the processing of the internet is bells, whistles and flash. I would kill for a major website that's strictly text based. I don't care what it looks like. Put the links in the right order and easy to see and I'll collect the information just fine thanks.

DVR programming-
I can handle when a show starts a little early. I can handle when it ends late. How is it possible that The Simpsons does both? Don't make me miss things!

Potholes-
There's one here:
... and here:
I hit these holes EVERY DAY!

Gears of War 3 map download-
So I can play "Blood Drive" online, but when I try to play Horde or with bots or something, it doesn't show that I've downloaded it -- even though I can play the level when someone else hosts. Can somebody please explain this to me?

Photoshop-
It crashes when I update my OS. It doesn't let me upgrade to the pay version when the demo runs out. Adobe doesn't give it to me when they grift me into buying an upgrade I can't use. How about a suitable rip-off I can use for free (that's not gimpy)?

Gilmore girls-
Actually, the show's not half bad. I enjoy many of the wacky characters in Star's Hollow. The two worst ones, though, are the ones in the title. And what's up with capitalizing "Gilmore," but not "girls"? A step back for feminism, indeed.

Christmas on Sunday this year-
Hey, Christmas should be a religious holiday. We should go to church for three hours. But we should be able to go in our pajamas.

2011-
I could hardly think of any grievances this year. Is that a good thing? Does that mean I'm not bugged by stuff anymore? ...

2011 was lame.

The Airing of Grievances is an annual tradition. If you achieved some level of catharsis by reading this, perhaps you should check out past years. Many of them are much better than this one. In fact...

Airing of Grievances '11-
This was the lamest one ever.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home