so i know this girl named stephanie

... and I misplaced her email that had her Simpsons avatar in it. But I found it today and so here's the fuller family pic:


See if you can find the new girl.

simpsons summer boogie!

So the Simpsons movie comes out this weekend. The other day I had a waking nightmare that I went to the theater and accidentally bought tickets tothe Catherine Zeta-Jones/Aaron Eckhart charmer No Reservations, instead. *Shudder*

Anyway, here's a grand group photo of much of the whole gang. See if you can find Me, Maria, Rhett, Dre, Regan, Laura, Kaila, Joe and Scott.

the pure-blood muggle song

I finally finished the fifth Harry Potter book a few hours ago. It was later than I had hoped. I wanted to get it done before the movie came out and now I only have 22 hours to read the sixth book before the new book comes out. Then I can spend the next day reading that one. I still wouldn't do it because I'm a fan. I'm just really really scared that I'll hear too many spoilers before I actually get there.

For those of you who haven't read the fifth book, the big event happens on page 806.

As I've already mentioned, I'm getting back into the whole Harry Potter thing to pretty much get down with the rest of the crowd. I am (possibly unnecessarily) critical of the whole thing. My HP grudge could possibly come from several sources. I've always found the universe of HP strangely lopsided. Magic exists in overflowing abundance, but without a sort of actual religious direction, it seems kind of chaotic. Also, magic loses its charm when used so very much. These people cast spells to have things to sit on. Talk about lazy! They're all one step away from becoming a part of the magical Matrix. Most of the characters seem pretty caricature-y more than anything. At least Voldemort is naturally sinister, but just about every other antagonist that comes along has the villainous subtlety of Elmer Fudd. I'm hoping that for the sixth book Fudge, Lucius, Draco, Draco's thugs and whatever other minor villains who pop up will at least carry enough depth to them to actually be taken seriously as a people before Rowling paints the villain tag on them. And personally, if Harry Potter actually went to my school, I probably wouldn't hang out with him. He just doesn't seem like a very fun kid to hang out with.

Anyway, and I'm serious when I say this, I think the biggest reason I have a grudge against Harry Potter is because his name is a combination of Harry Morgan and Sherman Potter. M*A*S*H fans know that Harry Morgan played Col. Sherman Potter at the start of the fourth season. Not only was Col. Potter just about my least favorite character in the series, but his appearance marked a crucial turning point in the show; spurning its brilliant humor from the first three seasons. Strangely, M*A*S*H carried on for seven more years, winning tons of awards and becoming the most-watched show at the height of its mediocrity. Anyway, Harry Potter directly reminds me of that whole sitch. Ever since I was a kid I totally dug the whole fantasy setting, mythical creatures and a tiny dash of the occult. Then along comes this watered down version of the dark arts and the masses jump on board. It's just like all those weak seasons of M*A*S*H.

As long as we're talking about names, what's up with the name "Hogwarts" anyway? Would you like to go to school with such a name? I'm not just nitpicking for the fun of it, actually. I'm just wondering if anybody knows where that name came from. I find the name very interesting based on a sequence of dialogue found in the movie Labyrinth. David Bowie calls the troll named Hoggle "Hedgewart" and then Jennifer Connelly corrects him by saying that his name is "Hogwart" (also incorrect). Could this be where J.K. Rowling got the name?

So I just have to say it first, before anybody gets their hands on the new book. I think that the Durselys are going to save the day in the end. Like, seriously, Harry is going to be battling Voldemort and the Dursleys are going to storm into the room and knock You-Know-Who over with the back of the door. It's either that or Draco will realize suddenly that it's not too late for him to not be a total D.B. and he and Harry will cross their wand streams sending Voldemort back through some weird dimensional door.

hopefully i'll see you all again someday

I'm just about to attempt to transfer to another server. I'm not sure if it will work or not. I'm pretty nervous. If things don't work out, I might switch my blog over to the blogspot URL of jonmadsen.blogspot.com. Of course if things don't work, then there's no way anybody would be able to read this to find out where they're supposed to be reading it at. Arrggh! Anyway, it's been nice knowing you all.

is the world ready for... brokenwaterman?

Remember how last week I mentioned that my water broke when I was taking a shower? Well, I mean the hot water heater in my house started leaking and needed to be shut off. And then a couple of days later I went to a restaurant and the sink tap came off in my hand. So, yeah, yesterday I couldn't quite get the hot water in the sink at work turned off, so I had the maintanence guy check it out and the handle came off in HIS hand. I'm preparing to wreak havoc on the world. I'm gonna break all water, everywhere. Not since the days of Noah will Earth see so many problems with water works.

saturday the 14th strikes back strikes back

I keep forgetting to tell everybody that in the hustle and bustle of the 4th of July and the 24th of July, to not forget about the 14th of July. The 14th of July is the day we celebrate the independence of the street we live on. To celebrate there will be an outdoor party of sorts at my house. It's bring your own fast food and/or pizza. We're gonna have a running water hose (and possibly slip 'n slide on the curvy lawn), Guitar Hero, maybe some Bang, uh... iPod music maybe, free non-alcholic non-carbonated non-sugar drinks... Anyway, just come. I'm guessing around 4 or 5ish. Call or email for directions.

i wanna pop pt. 2 (temple of doom)

So the first 2007 episode of The World Series of Pop Culture was on last night. For those of you who don't remember deep into my past, please read here and here and here.

I'm sorry to say that, like many sequels, I felt slightly humiliated afterwards. I had a much harder time with a few of the questions. Of course pop culture contains too broad of a spectrum. Being an expert in pop culture is like being an expert in science. In our society, we have metaphysicists, rocket scientists, chemists, astronomers, psychiatrists, podiatrists, etc; but we don't have too many people with the title "expert in science." Even the greatest pop culture affecianadoes get a perfume commercial curveball thrown at them every once in a while.

I could tell that, however, I'm losing much of my prowess. I may need to pass the torch to the younger people I watched the show with. Maria, Rhett and Dre patiently watched the show with me; faithfully abiding by my rule that they couldn't answer the questions until I first informed them that I had an answer myself. The first two teams in the competition were named "Fat Guys in Little Coats" and "Motherboy." Dre immediately got the Arrested Development reference of Motherboy, which was shamefully lost on the rest of us. Bad sign for me, but I am proud of Dre.

Anyway, the first category in the game was something about 2006 celebrity squabbles. Immediately I knew this was off to a bad start since I'm not much of a subscriber of current celebrity gossip in the world of pop culture. I only missed one question this round. It had to do with one of the Grey's Anatomy stars in the recent feud I constantly hear about, but don't much care for. The answer was T.R. Knight. I don't know who that is. Unfortunately, the "Fat Guys" contestant knew the answer. I proudly answered "Nas" to the question regarding Jay-Z's big beef, while the Motherboy contestant didn't know. I love that old song "If I Ruled the World." Don't you? The following answers both I and the contestants answered correctly:

Rosie O'Donnell
Ryan Seacrest
Lindsay Lohan
Kanye West

Round 2: Scary Movies. A movie synopsis was given and the contestants had to name the movie being described. The contestants and I answered all six questions correctly:

The Ring
Child's Play
Amityville Horror (both Maria and Rhett had confident different guesses, but I pulled this one out of nowhere without ever actually seeing it because the "1979" was one of the clues and I knew Poltergeist was an 80s flick)
The Fly
28 Days Later
Jacob's Ladder

This round then went to the speed round. It required that one contestant had to name a movie nominated for the "Best Animated Film" Academy Award. The next contestant then had to name another one and so on until someone draws a blank or incorrectly answers. This one was sort of harder to gauge because if I were in their shoes I know that kind of pressure would really get to me. I successfully wrote down the following before the round came to an end:

Finding Nemo
Cars
Monsters Inc.
Shrek
The Incredibles
Ice Age

If I actually did get the opportunity to be a part of the show, the speed round would kill me.

Round 3: Jingle All the Way. This round had to do with commercial jingles. I missed TWO on this round. Horrible. Commercials shouldn't have anything to do with this competition anyway. One question had to do with some kind of perfume. The contestant, Rhett and I all guessed "White Diamonds," but the answer was "Anjelie" or something. The other question I missed had to do with Darius Rucker appearing in a Burger King ad. This is what separates me from a professional pop culture guru. I don't care for Darius Rucker or Burger King, so there's no way to know the answer that question. A more professional pop culture expert would still study that which he loathes. Correct answers for this round all around:

Big Red
Mounds
Justin Timberlake (I guess he lent his voice to McDonald's. It was just a guess)
Nair

This round also had a lightning round -- an easier one. The object was to name as many characters from the pilot episode of Lost as possible. I aced this by naming all of these before the contestants:

Jack
Sawyer
Kate
Walt
Michael
Boone
Shannon
Sayid
Locke
Jin
Sun
Charlie
Claire

One contestant said "Hurley" before I had a chance to write him down. Maria also correctly got "Rose." The only one nobody got was I think the name of the U.S. marshall who died a couple of episodes later.

Round 4: something to do with insanity. This round featured lyrics from songs that have a loose connection with mental illness and the contestants were required to name the song. I missed "Maniac" by Michael Sembello. I was and am quite ashamed. For some reason the opening lyrics to the song got me thinking of "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey. The Fat Guy missed that one as well, but the Motherboy contestant answered correctly. Other correct answers from this round:

"Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley
"I Wanna Be Sedated" by The Ramones
"Basketcase" by Green Day

Motherboy won the game in that round, which made me happy. Fat Guys in Little Suits were pretty goobery and had a stupid never-very-funny joke name. Motherboy made pop culturists at least look a little cool.

The episode we watched had one more game, this time between a team called "White Russians" and a team called "Remo Leen Teen Teen." The Remo team, I think, was three siblings. Looking over my notes I realize I actually only missed one question this whole game, but I'm pretty sure Remo Leen Teen Teen didn't even miss one. The question I missed was in the first round which had to do with Quentin Tarantino movies. It had to do with some actor who played somebody in True Romance (which isn't entirely a Tarantino movie). Anway, I guessed Eric Stoltz, but the correct answer was apparently Brad Pitt. Here are the correct answers for this particular first round. Can you come up with the questions? C'mon, let's make it fun. Remember the category is "Quentin Tarantino Movies."

his ear
Royale with cheese
a samurai sword
Black Mamba
Tim Roth (I amazingly pulled this name out of my head despite never actually seeing Reservoir Dogs (but I did read the screenplay))

Round 2: pop hits of the 80s. Here are the correct answers to some of the 80s lyrics mentioned:

"Love is a Battlefield"
"When Doves Cry"
"Every Little Thing She Does is Magic"
"Rock the Casbah"

Round 3: physical challenge. An actor and year were given and the contestants had to identify the movie in which the actor had to undergo some kind of crazy physical change to suit their character. Here are the correct movies. See if you can identify the actor or actress in each question that had to shape up, make up or fatten up for each film.

Terminator 2
Frida
American History X
Full Metal Jacket
Best in Show (this particular one involved orthodontic devices)

Remo Leen Teen Teen seems like quite a group to beat. I will be watching them with great interest (and not just because one of them looks like Apache Chief from Superfriends).

I'm sad to not be doing this, but I'm holding out for next year.

i break things

Over the weekend our hot water heater started leaking and as a result our cooler started pumping in mildew air. The hot water needed to be shut off, but our shower is one of those single knob thingies connected straight to the water heater. As a result I can't even take a cold shower if I wanted to. Landlord Roger says he couldn't get a plumber to come under warranty until tomorrow morning. I'll bet money that he only just called a plumber after I called him and left a message wondering what the status of getting a plumber this morning like he said he would on Friday.

This past Saturday I broke new ground in white trashiness by bathing in my backyard with a hose.

Today, I came into work to discover that my Motion project I tried to save over the weekend failed to do so. So I decided to export it into a Quicktime movie once more. After an hour of the computer working on it, the display said it still had three hours to complete the task. I asked my friend at work Steve how long it takes to export a one-minute Motion project. "It depends," he said. I asked if it usually takes four hours. "Never," he said. I then asked him why it was behaving the way it was. "Because you broke it I guess," he said. "That's what you do. You break things."

He was being sarcastic, but had a point. I've always wanted to be the one to make things better. It'd be nice to be someone who could naturally fix things. Instead I have the super power of being able to break things automatically. I suppose I can't be a superhero with this power. I can really only be a villain.

So a few of us went to lunch at the Smokehouse restaurant. I was surprised to find that they had sinks right in the dining area, so we all washed our hands. When I turned on the hot water, the handle came off in my hand.

xxx - kelly wilkinson

an old friend from forever ago turned 30 today. he was in third grade with me. i remember it was funny that he was born 07/07/77. anyway, just something i remember. haven't spoken to him since i was 8.

for those of you sick of reading

Many people know that I started a genuine podcast a while ago. Check out the new link on the right side of the page! Like blogs, there will be a time that everyone on Earth will have a podcast, so I figured I may as well get a jump on things.

My particular podcast is strangely informative, addicting and easy to use. Right now it's tentatively known as "The Jon Madsen Movie Commentary Podcast" (although I'm considering changing the title to "The Vomitary"). As you can guess, for each podcast episode, I (and possibly a couple of guests) watch a movie while commenting on it. That means that in order to authentically enjoy my podcast, you should watch the movie dvd while you listen to me comment about the movie on mp3.

So here's the deal. I'm starting a blog to correspond with the podcast which can be found at www.jonsmoviecommentary.blogspot.com. For those of you who subscribe to RSS feeds, you can go to the podcast feed right here. If any of you use iTunes, go here. You can subscribe and the podcast will automatically download right to your computer. So get on it! Also, go ahead and click here to vote for me on Podcast Alley. Podcast Alley is a sort of podcast directory. The more votes the JMMCP gets, the more likely people will check it out. So vote away!

Btw, I've already completed several completed episodes, so feel free to head straight here and catch up.

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