the most popular kids in neptune

I'm nearly finished with the second season of Veronica Mars. I must say, I enjoy it even more than I thought I would. I may even enjoy it more than all the girls who told me to watch it. This is only an assumption, because I think I get a lot more of the disgusting terms and gestures that pervade the show. I'm fairly certain the good girls I know don't get all of that.

The most fun for me has been the craziness of characters at Neptune High School. My high school was pretty boring. There were hardly any detective cases to be solved. There also wasn't nearly as much flagpole taping, administrative corruption or (alleged) incest. Everybody was too bland for all that. The kids at Neptune are either way too smart, way too conniving, way too nice, way too mean or way too psychopathic.

Here's my countdown of my favorite characters from Neptune High School.

16. Weevil
I simply can't believe how annoying this kid is. First of all, he's like 35. Perhaps he was held back several times, although I don't know if high schools even do that anymore. I just watched the episode where he makes Beaver teach him the quadratic equation so he can graduate and his grandmother can die in peace. We never see his actual parents. Perhaps his "grandmother" is really his mother and he just says she's his grandmother so nobody suspects his real age.

It was a lot more annoying in the first season, but I also don't like how he can take the form of a single dude or take the form of entire biker gang. It's a Dracula-like power. A few times Veronica would call in a favor and if it was muscle she needed he'd show up with his biker gang like five minutes later -- as if he was waiting by the phone and then he opened a garage and the whole gang was there waiting and piled out ready to go. Silly really. That gang was so freakin' uptight too. At least the 09'ers had senses of humor.

I also hate how he constantly licks his lips and pouts 'em out a little.

15. Troy Vandegraff
This was Veronica's boyfriend for a couple of episodes at the beginning of the first season. He was snarky like her, but everyone knows she could do better.

14. Madison Sinclair
The school byotch. Very rich, very snobby, VERY one-dimensional; but I'd hang out with her because she flexes her pizza delivery privileges in front of the less-popular kids.

13. Jackie Cook
She's Wallace's flirty love interest. Of course she started out all diva-like, but Wallace calmed her down and turned her into a nicer person. BOOOOR-ING. Also, she's simply not pretty enough to be the obvious temptress the creators wanted her to be.

12. Beaver Casablancas
The smart, brooding non-shallow son of the big Neptune real estate tycoon. This kid constantly looks like an abused puppy. Live a little, dude.

11. Duncan Kane
This guy has a few mental disorders. As a result, he has blackouts, amnesia and severe mood swings. He also dated Veronica a few times. It wasn't just simple dating. He accidentally deflowered her shortly AFTER discovering that she was probably his half-sister. If that's not enough, for a time he was the biggest suspect in the Lilly Kane murder. With that kind of background HOW IS THIS GUY THE MOST BORING PERSON AT NEPTUNE HIGH?

10. Mac
She's the resident computer whiz. Now, I'm officially a Mac guy over PC, but did they have to name her Mac, really? Apple would have been a better name (but just BARELY).

9. Jane Kuhne
This is Wallace's nice, mainstream white girlfriend when Jackie is having her time of the month. A little too normal to be interesting, but you gotta feel a little for her.

8. Veronica Mars
Yep. Veronica's right in the middle. I like her because she's so smart, BUT she's also way too snarky, sassy and conceited. Yeah, that's right. Just because you make fun of people more conceited than you, it doesn't absolve you from your own conceit. Thing is, she's always complaining about how horrible everyone in Neptune is, but I'll bet you a million dollars if I was in her high school and I was nice to her, she'd still think she was way too cool for me.

I also have a problem with her being in contention to be valedictorian. Yes, I know I just said she's smart. She very well may be an absolute GENIUS. She's absolutely brilliant. Yeah, I know. Here's the problem though. She never studies. Okay, I know I know. This is high school. You don't need to study to get A's. Okay, fine. I'll give her a pass. BUT, she also never does homework. She's constantly out on a case of some kind. Even if she's a genius like I've previously said, she still has to actually do the work -- even if she is better at it than others. I had a 9th grade biology teacher who gave us perfect scores if we turned it in and it was complete, regardless of our answers. I discovered this slowly after supplying a few test responses. For example, if it was a fill-in-the-blank question, I'd write "do you really check these?" Never got a response about that. Yeah, maybe Veronica's teachers are like that. Okay okay okay okay okay -- MAYBE Veronica gets all her work done because she's so smart and because it's all she does when she helps out her dad at work. Even so, SHE RARELY ACTUALLY ATTENDS HIGH SCHOOL! What's up with that? And when she does go to school she sleeps through class. So yeah, Veronica's a valedictorian of detective work, but NOT Neptune High.

I hate her phone. What is that, a Sidekick from 1994?

I still like her a lot though, because she gave Logan Echolls a shot and she also wore that awesome material girl outfit to the '80s dance.

7. Wallace Fennel
Pretty cool kid that Veronica manipulates into doing the detective grunt work. One thing I don't get about him is that he started the show as a complete outcast just like her. Then, two episodes later he's suddenly the star of the basketball team and EXTREMELY popular. I guess that's one thing I like about Neptune. The turnaround rate of popularity is off the charts.

Wallace's head is huge. Seriously. Check out a few scenes of him with Jackie. His head is twice her size. No foolin'.

6. Hannah Griffith
She's not in it for much. She's the daughter of the star witness in Logan's murder trial, so Logan starts dating her for leverage. What's up with this town? Not only is there a high-profile, high-media murder case every year; but every single character in every single major case has some close relative in Veronica's class. Anyway, Hannah is a sweet girl. I'm putting her quite high because she's a curiosity to me. She must be half the size of Veronica. Veronica looks obese next to her. Perhaps Hannah's brash decisions in the show can be explained because she simply didn't consume enough calories to function properly.

5. Meg Manning
Aw. She's great. Every horrible horrible high school needs a super-nice girl who is just to good to handle the grit of a place like Neptune. Of course she was wronged terribly by Duncan, which gave her reason to despise Veronica. Perhaps that short bit of fault justified her tragic fate. Before such a tragedy happened, I'd be sure to hit on her a little.

4. Lilly Kane
The show kicks off by telling us of her death. She was Veronica's best friend and the whole first season revolves around Veronica's search for the truth surrounding the death. Still, nobody seemed to bring up the fact that Lilly Kane DESERVED to die. Hard. I mean, really. She was a HORRIBLE person (but at least she wasn't boring). We all know that if she wasn't killed she'd be on the stripper pole within four months. She would say it was to support her smack habit, but really she'd start using drugs to support her stripper habit. It actually doesn't make much sense that she was Veronica's best friend. Sure, Veronica was dating her brother but it doesn't mean they had to get along.

3. Gia Goodman
The daughter of the mayor looks a bit weird. She looks like an Addams Family character in an extremely impractical skirt. It's strangely cute. Some dumb people talk to themselves, but the way she talks to herself is awesomer/cuter/funnier than any other. Just the fact that she's into Dick Casablancas is funny in itself. Speaking of...

2. Dick Casablancas
Love this guy on the show. I'd HATE him in real life. He's shallow and one-dimensional, but since he's obviously tipping the scales in those regards, his actual character is borderline brilliant. It's like you couldn't find a laboratory that could produce the proper genetic makeup to create a guy as Californian as this guy. I mean, what kid these days actually embraces a name like "Dick" anyway?

Hey, ever notice what the names of the Casablancas brothers are?

1. Logan Echolls
See, most people start liking him after 15 or so episodes, but Logan was my favorite from DAY ONE. Sure, he's despicable, but he's got a snotty charm that I find endearing. That's weird to type, but it's true. He's every bit as bad as the PCHers, but he's also funny -- and that's important. Kudos for Veronica's bizarre attraction to him. I think their weird relationship fit perfectly and snugly into the narrative. Logan also has some of the best (suggestive) asides in the show.

He's also arguably the most tortured soul on the show. Well, there are A LOT of seriously messed up kids at Neptune High. Let's just say, I believe his tortured soul-ness the most.

Didn't you just love it when he crane-kicked Weevil when the biker gang tracked him down just in time to beat him up before he attempted suicide? That was awesome.

** Okay, now just a couple of notes on a few of the adults at Neptune **

Veronica's dad: He's simply way cooler than his daughter. I wish he went to Neptune High.

Woody Goodman: Okay, what's up with this guy's name? Is he really a "good man?" Kind of gives me the impression that he's not good, but is actually PURE EVIL. That's too obvious though, so I think it's reverse-reverse psychology. Now, I haven't seen the last episode yet, but what's up with his telling Gia not to take the bus that went over the cliff? Actually, a better question is what's up with Veronica, Veronica's dad, the sheriff and Gia NOT CALLING HIM OUT for obviously knowing the bus would crash? My theory? The creators of the show planted in something OBVIOUS for us to think we know about and we're gonna be thrown off again.

Jackie's dad: So he's like, O.J. Simpson, right?

Mumbly cop that Veronica dated for a little while: So like, what's up with that mumble, big guy?

Trina Echolls: Okay, she's funny because she's Allyson Hannigan and she's married to Jason Segal on How I Met Your Mother (and he absolutely dwarfs her). I find this amusing because Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars) dated Jason Segal in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. When Allyson Hannigan and Kristen Bell are next to each other, Kristen Bell is like half Allyson's size. Strange that Kristen Bell could be that much tinier than Allyson Hannigan and still date Jason Segal when Segal obviously dwarfs Allyson -- if any of that made any sense. Don't even think about throwing Hannah Griffith in the mix.

Aaron Echolls: I like watching episodes with Aaron in and also his wife played by Lisa Rinna, because aren't they like married in real life? I think they are and whenever I see them on talk shows they seem a whole lot like the people they're portraying. I wonder if the Aaron Echolls scenes are actually filmed like a reality show and then they write his character around whatever footage Harry Hamlin provided that day?

Okay, no doubt you haven't made it to the end of this post without first being a fan of Veronica Mars. Congrats much! Let me know if you made it.