Wednesday, January 03, 2007

a spiteful suicide

So guess what place ran out of curry again today. I'll give you a hint. It rhymes with shmeriyaki shmix at shmeast shmay shmoulevard in shmprovo. You can check out what I've already disgustedly written about this place here. Their record for having the most popular meal there is now LESS THAN 50%. This time when they broke the news to me, I didn't even acknowledge them. I muttered "Son of a..." and then just drove off.

I'm seriously considering buying the domain name www.theteriyakistixateastbayinprovosucks.com

As a result, I went to Taco Bell. Too soon, you think?

If I happen to die from eating Taco Bell food, I just want all my friends and family know that I love them and I'm sorry for leaving you and that the Teriyaki Stix at East Bay doesn't actually serve food. Mom can have all my money, Maria can have my snowboard, Rhett can have my mug collection and the rest of you can fight over my cds and dvds.

Despite killing people every once in a while, the folks at Taco Bell had what I wanted, promptly served me, asked if I wanted condiments and were just plain friendly in general. Of course I STILL don't know the difference between a chalupa and a gordita. Isn't one supposed to have a hard shell?

By the way, my list of the top 29 songs of 2006 is still coming (if I survive)!

5 Comments:

Blogger charlottalove said...

Did you get green onions? Or spinach? (Does taco bell even SERVE spinach?) If so, it has been nice knowing you. And I want all the split endz cds. Those are ridiculously hard to find here in Athens.

January 04, 2007 6:53 AM  
Blogger Maria said...

Snowboard....awesome. Well, you survived one day- I think you will be ok. I'm glad you aren't dead- even if it means I don't get the snowboard.

The shmeriyaki shmix struggles....

January 04, 2007 5:43 PM  
Anonymous abel said...

I'm laughing so hard after reading this. Funny! I think you should by the domain name. And if you die, I want any other Prince CDs you have.

January 04, 2007 8:38 PM  
Blogger Steph said...

I ate at Taco Bell last week and I haven't noticed any health problems yet. Maybe we can have a double funeral. How long after eating Taco Bell can you proclaim yourself in the clear of any e coli?

January 08, 2007 1:04 PM  
Anonymous Mon said...

I used to work in East Bay…It’s like the Outer Darkness of Provo.

Oh Jon...Lemme try to shed some light on your Gordita vs. Chalupa dilemma. Hmmm, where do I start. K, first of all, the Taco Bell version of each of these little Mexican delicacies cannot be compared to the real thing. Yes, one of them should have a hard shell--the chalupa. Both the Gordita and the Chalupa shells are made with masa, and they end up having a really thick shell that you stuff all sorts of goodness into. However, while the Gordita shell stays soft (just think of a super thick tortilla), the Chalupa is deep fried, hence the hard, crispy shell. Chalupas = muy bueno.

Taco Bell's version of both just ends up being like a taco made out of pita bread, bleh.

January 09, 2007 2:06 PM  

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