Wednesday, March 10, 2010

my chemical salad

I'm only now realizing that I've fallen into a sort of "bad crowd." Mom always warned me to stay away from substance abusers. Despite her warnings, MOST of the people I hang around these days are diet soda drinkers.

Despite my protests, they're a determined lot. For years I've asked why they insist on the consumption. Usually the response is -- "Hey, let me be healthy! Not everyone has your metabolism you know!"

My obvious response is something like -- Hey! It's gross. It's not pleasurable. WATER tastes better. Not just that, but there's something in diet drinks that makes me ill. I think I sort of finally understand what Maria always used to tell me about Chinese food (that it gave her a headache and made her feel gross). If I chug a diet drink I get a serious headache. The stuff has a far negativer effect on me than mere sugar. Of course there is an outside chance that since everything I eat is sugar I'm having a weird reaction to NOT eating sugar, but I really don't think that's likely.

Anyway, I'm noticing this weird effect more and more because sometimes at crazy parties I accidentally partake in someone else's stash.

I have to bring all this up because late last night I ate a five-quart fruit bowl prepared by treatmaster Cousin Jen. She goes nuts with the treats and it was my secondary fuel for our mid-week Gears of War gamenight (primary fuel: Charlie Chow noodles). The fruit bowl was absolute ambrosia and shortly before I asked how she made it I began to notice a headache forming in my skull. Then she revealed the ingredients: fruit marinated in lime and sweetened with Splenda (TM).

Splenda? Despite my gratitude of the fruit salad's deliciousness, I couldn't help but whine to her a bit. I mean this is the woman who eats an entire package of Dots AND an entire package of Peanut Butter M&Ms AND an entire package of green sugar rings every single time I see her.

I say all this because we finished playing around 2 AM. Check when this post was posted. I STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN TO BED. I went home exhausted, hurty and brittle -- but sleep completely escaped me. I only had two Mountain Dews. I blame the chemical salad.

This whole scenario is alarming to me -- not because I ate something containing Splenda and didn't realize it, but for the first time, I ENJOYED something containing Splenda. This may be my gateway, I don't know. Just to be sure, though, I asked Jen to prepare the chemical salad with Mountain Dew rather than Splenda next time around.

6 comments:

Charlotta-love said...

Go to bed!!!

And if you have withdrawls, you will officially be my first friend to ever get the shakes from a salad.

Maria said...

Please, please, please don't start drinking diet drinks. It is SO LAME.

I can't drink them for the reasons you describe. It is for the best.

Jaime Van Hoose Steele said...

I agree with you on the diet drinks...their just wrong!

Ps- You should know that everything Jen makes will have some form of sugar in it. She's a dealer.

Craig Barlow B. said...

The treats only seem to happen anymore during the Gears nights I'm not told about. Very suspicous.

J.R. said...

Does that mean we can't play the water game with Fresca and Tab anymore?

Maker said...

Is there a salt substitute out there?
I think we should have a goal of making all food and people synthetic by 2020.

Maybe this will help speed up our collision course with the singularity too?

wv:synelst