perchance to go insane

Once a month I have a very intense night of constant dreaming.

Sometimes it comes with a sort of fever. It came that way last night. I had to take my socks off and usually I wear socks to bed (with a hoodie and everything -- I really bundle up). Anyway, last night: no socks, no hoodie. Hot. Weird.

I wonder if I don't get proper REM sleep. I also wonder if that Next Generation episode is accurate where they go to a part of space that turns off their REM and so they start hallucinating.

I was dreaming constantly, but the only dream I remember is how I was in high school, and I had to drive my friend and her friend there too. My friend was someone I know now in real life (but not in high school). The car in my dream was a dream car (as in a car in my dream, not necessarily a real boss car (it was like a gold '97 Accord)), BUT the car keys in my dream was the set I have in real life. I was super confused in my dream because I couldn't figure out which key started the thing. None of them worked. They were "reality keys."

I remember when I flirted with being a psych major we went over dreams a little. There were tons of theories, but the one with the shortest explanation was the only one that made sense to me. When we dream, our brains test out certain neurons by firing randomly. Dreams are our brains attempting to make sense of the random neurons going on and off.

The weird thing is, they can't be completely random. For some reason, I have a constant recurring dream theme of not showing up for high school classes. It's a steady nightmare. But I never worried about it when I was actually in high school.

I had to adjust after seven hours of steady dreaming. For my first three hours of actual consciousness today it felt less real than trying to drive two people to high school in a car I've never been in, from what looked like my first flat in New Zealand -- and at 11:00 pm now that I think about it. I had to force my way back into reality. Never much had a grasp in the first place, I suppose.

Anyway, I just got back from seeing The Hangover Part II. Check my Twitter account for what I thought of it.

talk about pop music (new york london paris munich)

My parents took me to dinner a few hours ago. I was super surprised when my mom said she was happy that I wasn't at the U2 show. It's weird that my mother would be aware of anything of the sort. I said I guess it would've been neat to go, but I didn't realize it was that night, I hadn't planned for it and I'd already seen them live so I didn't need to see them again. Of course, when I did see them, my seat was behind the stage and above the sound system -- so I was pretty much watching the audience watch the show. I still debate with myself about whether or not I've actually seen U2 live based on that experience.

Mom told me she was hoping I'd have grown out of such things by now. Mom's a far classier lady than I am. She never got into the pop scene -- even as a young cougarette. She never outgrew classical music and I let her know I could be just as stubborn.

On the way home from dinner I participated in one of my new favorite past-times -- driving by outdoor concerts to hear what song is playing. When I drove by Rice-Eccles stadium the sound was pretty crystal. They played "All I Want Is You" and "Stay (Faraway, So Close!)" (which pretty much made it a better show already than the last time I saw them).

I'm not a super huge U2 fan. I think most of my joy during my drive by comes from the nostalgia of my teenage years where U2 was playing whether I wanted them to or not. We all hated being teenagers, but there was something about back then that makes us remember it fondly when we're exposed to the same stimuli.

I'll never outgrow my love of pop music. It's impossible. It was too formative. Please don't worry, though Mom. There's plenty of room to love everything else too.

I listened to the radio on the way home and car-danced to every single song. Thankfully Movin' 100.7 is back on my presets. And thankfully (wonderfully) "Borderline" by Madonna played.



Wow. Great song. Sorta terrible video. Whatev.

You know what? As long as we're on the subject, watch the first minute of this video:

i'm a man of flesh and bone. rapture rushing through my veins.

If you haven't heard, the Rapture is this Saturday.

I must admit there is about a 70% chance it won't happen this Saturday. Still, you know how it's said that "no man knoweth" when the end will be? So how unexpected would it be if the end of the world came on the exact day that some random minister says it will?

Anyway, it's been nice everyone. If I don't see you again, I just want you to know that (in the words of Lou Reed): "Life's good, but not fair at all."

I have no regrets. Wait, scratch that. 90% of all decisions I've ever made have been wrong. See the following XKCD chart:

I really don't know how the guy got my exact count for his comic.

bmi/tmi

Recently I realized something.

In order to combat this (and in a feverish panic) I went out and bought Wii Fit with one of those balance boards. I'm amazed at how personable the game is. It's like a new friend that wants to be of sincere service to me (and then insults me).

Apparently I'm "normal." I'm even slightly "younger" than my actual self physically. Here are the results of my first Wii Fit check up.



I've always considered myself more skinny than normal. According to the scale, it looks like I'm on the fat side of normal.

I rocked it out on all the games and also did a bit of yoga. I'm hoping I'll do enough yoga that eventually I won't need the game anymore to do the yoga and then get flexible and digest my food better and also achieve a sort of new age enlightenment.

At the end of the day, I burned 47 calories.

According to the calorie chart, that's a kiwi. I'm guessing a kiwi has about the same amount of calories as a cylinder of Pringles and a tub of clam dip, because that's exactly what I ate after I finished my first Wii Fit workout.

... Alright that should be the end of my blog post, but I didn't post it in time. Since I've done my first workout, I've also done my second. It just happened to fall on the day where I beat my own record of platefuls of food at Charlie Chow's (three!). That's when the real hilarity starts.

I got home and got on the Wii balance board... and then Wii Fit started scolding me.


At this point it actually asked me: "What do you feel is the cause of your weight gain?" Pretty rude. It only let me answer with one question, although I think I could have truthfully given every answer available.


I was so proud of myself on the first day, but when I took the physical tests the second time here was the result:

Yes, that's right. Now I'm physically five years older than I am chronologically... and chronologically I'm several years older than I ever thought I'd ever be.

Eventually, the Wii Fit just started using cruel psychology.


This is strange because I think I just finished eating 2.2 pounds of rice.


I've always heard that you're not supposed to eat after 9:00 p.m. I never really believed it, though. Now one of my friends is officially telling me through computerized television, so now I sorta do believe it.


I guess it's only gonna get harder. I didn't quite beat the caloric intake of the super fatty kiwi fruit this time.


I forgot to mention in my country music post that one time I got so depressed that I went to the store and heard a country music song on the radio there and actually enjoyed it. That applies again.

midweek mojo rejuvination

Got a haircut again.

That's good for everyone else, but not as good for me. I sure look better with short hair, but I don't feel like myself and I don't have anything to twirl when I'm bored.

That, and other things have removed my mojo. Somehow I need to feel more attractive (besides just looking incredibly attractive).

Right now my best short term solution is listening to good strutting music. The best I can come across is the album Brothers by The Black Keys. Try it out. While it's playing, you'll just feel cooler. That's a promise (the whole album's great, but specifically the song "Ten Cent Pistol").

Also... I'm in the middle of writing a short screenplay about a hitchhiker who tries to rob the people he's getting a ride from -- but then the people he's getting a ride from are trying to rob him at the same time. In order for the story to work, I need the characters to have reasons to want to take the car in two different directions. I also need something the hitchhiker needs from the passengers that relates to a bigger score. Also, the passengers need something specific from the hitchhiker. If you have any ideas, please shoot them to me. There's a story there. It exists, I just have to find it. I need some help looking.

poor me. poor me. pour me another drink.

Here's something I audibly tweeted in the summer of of '91 (because Twitter didn't exist yet): "I can't wait until six months from now when this country music fad will go away."

Over the course of the next couple of decades, I watched helpless as the popularity of country music just kinda hung around. Lately I've been thinking of throwing in the towel and liking country music.

I insist on only liking OLDSCHOOL country music though. Say what you will about emotion in today's songs, but that old country stuff is freakin' for real as it gets. This guy calls into work sometimes looking for country music CDs to buy and he turned me on to this old country chick named Dottie West. When I did research on some of her songs I nearly cried for multiple reasons.


Look at the track listing to her double album cd called A Legend In My Time/Sound Of Country Music. I'm ABSOLUTELY SERIOUS when I say these are real titles of real songs:

1. (I'd Be) A Legend in My Own Time
2. Don't You Ever Get Tired (Of Hurting Me)
3. Funny, Familiar, Forgotten Feelings
4. There Goes My Everything
5. Gettin' Married Has Made Us Strangers
6. No Sign of Living
7. Happiness Lives Next Door
8. Lonely Again
9. You're the Only World I Know
10. You Ain't Woman Enough
11. Together Again
12. Pick Me Up on Your Way Down
13. Someone Before Me
14. I Don't Hurt Anymore
15. Heartaches by the Number
16. City Lights
17. Slowly
18. Crazy Arms
19. I Miss You Already (And You're Not Even Gone)

How can you look at this list and not say these are the most hilarious song titles that have ever existed? I'm not making fun. If these songs are half as good as their titles, it's a steal. I'm probably buying this cd.

Here's another SNL gem from Netflix streaming that highlights my other favorite thing about oldschool country music -- the alcoholism.

http://movies.netflix.com/WiPlayer?movieid=70178605&trkid=3325853

Start watching at 6:08. I don't think you'll be disappointed.

"Prison bars don't serve liquor, and it's always closing time... in jail."