Thursday, May 19, 2011


Recently I realized something.

In order to combat this (and in a feverish panic) I went out and bought Wii Fit with one of those balance boards. I'm amazed at how personable the game is. It's like a new friend that wants to be of sincere service to me (and then insults me).

Apparently I'm "normal." I'm even slightly "younger" than my actual self physically. Here are the results of my first Wii Fit check up.

I've always considered myself more skinny than normal. According to the scale, it looks like I'm on the fat side of normal.

I rocked it out on all the games and also did a bit of yoga. I'm hoping I'll do enough yoga that eventually I won't need the game anymore to do the yoga and then get flexible and digest my food better and also achieve a sort of new age enlightenment.

At the end of the day, I burned 47 calories.

According to the calorie chart, that's a kiwi. I'm guessing a kiwi has about the same amount of calories as a cylinder of Pringles and a tub of clam dip, because that's exactly what I ate after I finished my first Wii Fit workout.

... Alright that should be the end of my blog post, but I didn't post it in time. Since I've done my first workout, I've also done my second. It just happened to fall on the day where I beat my own record of platefuls of food at Charlie Chow's (three!). That's when the real hilarity starts.

I got home and got on the Wii balance board... and then Wii Fit started scolding me.

At this point it actually asked me: "What do you feel is the cause of your weight gain?" Pretty rude. It only let me answer with one question, although I think I could have truthfully given every answer available.

I was so proud of myself on the first day, but when I took the physical tests the second time here was the result:

Yes, that's right. Now I'm physically five years older than I am chronologically... and chronologically I'm several years older than I ever thought I'd ever be.

Eventually, the Wii Fit just started using cruel psychology.

This is strange because I think I just finished eating 2.2 pounds of rice.

I've always heard that you're not supposed to eat after 9:00 p.m. I never really believed it, though. Now one of my friends is officially telling me through computerized television, so now I sorta do believe it.

I guess it's only gonna get harder. I didn't quite beat the caloric intake of the super fatty kiwi fruit this time.

I forgot to mention in my country music post that one time I got so depressed that I went to the store and heard a country music song on the radio there and actually enjoyed it. That applies again.


Blogger Jaime (soon to be) Steele said...

I have a feeling I would hate your wii machine! It's kinda rude. Plus I avoid all scales after I know I've been eating bad. If you don't see the gain, it doesn't exist!...kinda.

May 19, 2011 9:07 AM  
Blogger Charlotta-love said...

I'm glad you posted this. I was laughing the entire post.

Screw Wii.

June 09, 2011 2:02 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home