pushing buttons (officially)

Right now I'm sitting at work merely waiting. It's 51 minutes past 6. At 59 minutes and 50 seconds past 6 I need to push the "hang up" on the Nexus ISDN machine that is presently dialed into 630 KTKK AM broadcasting the taped show I'm running from last month. In order to begin broadcasting it I had to push the "dial" button about 116 minutes ago. Our computer plays the pre-recorded show automatically because I programmed it in a few hours ago (incorrectly actually, because it's Friday and a couple of other reasons). On days like this I can almost automate everything and not come into work at all, except for that dang button. I also came in early and pushed it 598 minutes ago because the guys who usually do it in the morning had some important conference to go to (my R.S.V.P was denied). Of course pushing the button 598 minutes ago means I had to push it again 475 minutes ago so we don't waste using the super-expensive broadcast line. That's pretty much my day.

I spent the last month getting into Lost and I'm amazed that I only just realized in the past few minutes why the show connected with me so personally. In the meantime, I'm finally with the rest of you and am very very curious as to how this whole island/end of the world thing turns out. I'm real glad Desmond is back. He's got some sweet charisma. BTW, I think that The Others are telling the truth when they say they're the good guys. The Dharma Initiative is probably bad and The Others are probably on the island to undo whatever Dharma did. Just a guess. I mean, the castaways have actually killed more of The Others than the other way around.

Did anyone catch the office last night? I knew Jim would wind up with the transfer. I must admit they really expanded the corner they painted themselves into. Now we're treated to the weirdoes at Jim's new workplace as well. Good show! Good show!

abel hour enabled

So today might be the last time The Abel Hour broadcasts over actual radio frequencies. I'm confident that we'll still be online for some time, but our radio lease is up. In the meantime, go to www.theabelhour.com for your fix of hearing my voice (and, i suppose, Abel's). Anyway, hopefully the boss boss will shell out a little bit to continue the radio thing. I don't anticipate progress unless that happens. Things are positive, though. Apparently even though lots of people in the company are mysteriously disturbed by our little show, the one in charge thinks it's a positive option and wishes it to continue (of course it's far far far from priority one). So while we may be in interim, please let me know what we should talk about in the future. Also, please call in when you can (remember the number is 1-800-331-4301). Also, please book guests for us. Doing a radio show is actually strangely exhausting.

puke puke puke puke of hurl hurl hurl

Just so you know, I totally threw up at the State Fair just a few seconds after this picture was taken. The ride is called The Tornado and it's not too bad, but it did me in after eating State Fair Panda Express and riding The Zipper (awesome although at one point I was willing to expose national security secrets in order to get off), the gliders, the Tidal Wave-type boat thingie, the Fun Slide (a half truth) and the Musical Express type cars thingie. Richard, the guy next to me, puked also. I was remarking to Maria earlier that it was pretty much the most miserable fair experience ever, but to be honest (and judging from my facial expression in the picture) it was TOTALLY worth it.

when a supernova becomes a black hole

Thanks a lot America. Actually, thanks a lot world. You just voted this d.b. as your new pseudo reality heavy poprock hybrid king. Did I mention he's Canadian? What's wrong with you people? Is it his voice? It sucks. Is it his abnormal upper cranium? Ug. I actually miss J.D. Fortune.

I can't believe it came down to him and Dilanna -- my two least favorite contestants from the very beginning. Magni was eliminated first of course, followed by the nice squishy guy from Australia I totally wouldn't have minded winning, Toby. Fortunately, at least, I was able to snag ten bucks from Rhett who bet me that Dilanna would win. I knew for a fact that they'd never pick the girl unless she ran away with it from the very beginning and was far and away ahead. Rock bands can't seriously consider girls, because the fan base doesn't tend to take girl rockers seriously. Amy Lee did a good job, but it's not because she rocks. It's because her stuff is far originaler. Or was far originaler. I doubt the Evanesense new stuff is any good. Shirley Manson is ok, but Garbage is more weird than rock. Anyway, sucks to be a girl. You can be American Idols, but you can't be Rockstars. I know, I know. I hate it too. It's a shame. Girls are cute.

when a star becomes a supernova

Don't have much time, so I'll get right to the point. Tonight is the season finale of Rockstar: Supernova (for the uninformed, this show is an American Idol-type show where people compete to be the lead singer of a band called Supernova (Supernova is a supergroup composed of Tommy Lee of Motley Crue, Gilby Clarke of Guns 'N Roses and Jason Newsted of Metallica (Jason Newsted is quite strange and it's easy to see why the band hazed him for 15 straight years))). Tonight they pick the new lead singer. From the very first episode I had my picks going on. I hated Dilanna and Lukas. Dilanna is a smoky voiced demon from Hell and Lukas may even be more pathetically Canadian than last year's winner J.D. Fortune...

(a comment should be made about last year -- I think it's safe to say that I got all my friends to watch Rockstar because last year (the first year) the band in need of a new lead singer was INXS. INXS was actually my favorite band growing up so I actually had a vested interest in who their new lead singer would be. Anyway, I decided very early on that I hated the wussy Canadian J.D. Fortune and I loved Marty Casey. Casey would go on to write the song of the year ("Trees" (omigosh! I think I forgot to include it in the songs of the year for last year! Curses!), but come in second to the snivelling Canuck got the gig)

...Yeah, so anyway I also decided that I liked the brazen, ridiculously overacting Storm Large and also the single-named bald wonder from Reykjavik, Magni.

Storm, sadly, was eliminated last week (much to the rejoicement of my friends Kristi and Stephanie who watch Rockstar independent of my usual watching group and came to the opposite conclusion of Storm's merits). Magni, however has stayed strong and is in the top four. Strangely, the demonic twosome of Dilanna and Lukas also managed to worm their way into the final four (rounding out the four is the girlie-fave Aussie named Toby Rand. He's adequate enough. He's got a fat head, but I wouldn't mind if he won). I have this fear that Supernova really prefer Dilanna and Lukas, because if there was any justice in the world they would be gone long ago. Dilanna made disparaging remarks about her fellow contestants and then martyred herself on her own mistake. Lukas doesn't know how to sing with a microphone, but he's good at emulating the screamo shiz all 19-year-olds apparently love right now.

Sorry, what's the point of all this? The point is, go to rockstar.msn.com and vote for Magni. Iceland needs to be on the map.

He actually sang the best bald version of "Creep" by Radiohead I've ever ever heard (beating out Moby's version he sang at In the Venue a few years ago).

five years of terror

Well, today's the big anniversary! What is it, wood? I guess we're supposed to give wood for five year anniversaries. Anybody got wood?

Living in the age of terror is a bit more vivid than the ice age I remember during the eighties But did you ever catch The Day After on TV? Yeah, in many ways, the constant threat of nuclear holocaust is nothing compared to the threat of out of control planes. Oh well. It doesn't matter who you are, someone's always out to get you. Hey remember the nineties? There was no Cold War, there were no terror alerts. Why were we so uptight and full of angst back then?

I remember the day vividly. It was the first time I ever used the line, "So... in this new age of worldwide terror, surely the moral constraints we're used to can be relaxed a little..." It didn't work then and it hasn't worked since. Something's gotta change.

i only have three years to live

Most of my peers don't know what the icy hand of death feels like. I do. Honestly, it's not too bad. It feels like... nothing.

Laura talked me into taking the realage quiz. The quiz gauges lifestyle activity and medical history in order to better determine your age beyond simple chronology. It's pretty in-depth and took about 15 minutes to fill out. For some reason I totally deluded myself into thinking I'd score well on it just because I don't feel or act old. My real age? 39. In the blink of an eye I aged ten years.

Denial, of course, is the first step. I'm still in denial actually. I'm not denying that. Much denial, of course, is justified. Several of the questions didn't have to do with aging, in my opinion. I got docked a lot because I drive 100 miles a day. Now I do agree that I am at much more risk for accidents, but I still don't see how driving actually ages my body. The test also asks about the health situation of the taker's parents. The fact that my father died at 42 of colon cancer certainly didn't help. Speaking of, I need to get that checked soon. I just hope I don't feel too cheap and used when it's all over. Anyway, also late in the test it asked what kind of medication I was taking for my angina. I never told the test I even had angina. I actually thought only girls had angina.

*Sigh* As much as I deny it my lack of breakfast eating skills, tendency for fast food, disdain for mattresses and allergy to sweat have taken their toll and I'm now old. I wouldn't feel too incredibly bad if I didn't take an IQ test the week before. Although I still scored incredibly high on the IQ test, it was actually eight points LESS than it was when I took the same test five years ago. So my mind is going too. Oh well, what's the difference? The only think IQ tests measure is ability to take IQ tests.

Like I said, it feels like... nothing.