Friday, September 01, 2006

i only have three years to live

Most of my peers don't know what the icy hand of death feels like. I do. Honestly, it's not too bad. It feels like... nothing.

Laura talked me into taking the realage quiz. The quiz gauges lifestyle activity and medical history in order to better determine your age beyond simple chronology. It's pretty in-depth and took about 15 minutes to fill out. For some reason I totally deluded myself into thinking I'd score well on it just because I don't feel or act old. My real age? 39. In the blink of an eye I aged ten years.

Denial, of course, is the first step. I'm still in denial actually. I'm not denying that. Much denial, of course, is justified. Several of the questions didn't have to do with aging, in my opinion. I got docked a lot because I drive 100 miles a day. Now I do agree that I am at much more risk for accidents, but I still don't see how driving actually ages my body. The test also asks about the health situation of the taker's parents. The fact that my father died at 42 of colon cancer certainly didn't help. Speaking of, I need to get that checked soon. I just hope I don't feel too cheap and used when it's all over. Anyway, also late in the test it asked what kind of medication I was taking for my angina. I never told the test I even had angina. I actually thought only girls had angina.

*Sigh* As much as I deny it my lack of breakfast eating skills, tendency for fast food, disdain for mattresses and allergy to sweat have taken their toll and I'm now old. I wouldn't feel too incredibly bad if I didn't take an IQ test the week before. Although I still scored incredibly high on the IQ test, it was actually eight points LESS than it was when I took the same test five years ago. So my mind is going too. Oh well, what's the difference? The only think IQ tests measure is ability to take IQ tests.

Like I said, it feels like... nothing.


Anonymous dre said...

oh sad! My realage is 17. Does that mean I'm jail bait? or that you could be my dad?

September 03, 2006 5:35 PM  
Blogger laura said...

Jon, I think you should take the real age test again, take out "angina" and see what happens.

Dre, you're 17? You must drink your V8 everyday.

September 05, 2006 10:16 AM  
Blogger Poomaker said...

I took the test and answered every question with the absolute worst case scenario. It said I was only 41.6 years old. I was shooting for high 60's!
I answered that I smoked 6 packs of cigarettes a day and that I drank over 10 beers a day and that I had been drinking and smoking since I was 6 yrs old. I also entered that I was 2 ft. tall and 599 lbs.
I get absolutely no exercise. I have had 2 heart attacks and currently have the highest possible cholesteral. I get stressed easily and worry about everything. I never ever get any physical exercise and I have every single disease listed.
Anyway, you get the idea.
Basically, I think this "real age" test is a sham and is worthless.
Surely I have to be in my 50's at the very least. How can my 'real age' only be 2 yrs higher than yours?!

September 07, 2006 8:36 PM  
Blogger Maria said...

I know I've already told you this - but I must share with everyone... my real age is 19!! Wooohoo!

September 11, 2006 9:45 AM  

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