I finally finished the fifth Harry Potter book a few hours ago. It was later than I had hoped. I wanted to get it done before the movie came out and now I only have 22 hours to read the sixth book before the new book comes out. Then I can spend the next day reading that one. I still wouldn't do it because I'm a fan. I'm just really really scared that I'll hear too many spoilers before I actually get there.
For those of you who haven't read the fifth book, the big event happens on page 806.
As I've already mentioned, I'm getting back into the whole Harry Potter thing to pretty much get down with the rest of the crowd. I am (possibly unnecessarily) critical of the whole thing. My HP grudge could possibly come from several sources. I've always found the universe of HP strangely lopsided. Magic exists in overflowing abundance, but without a sort of actual religious direction, it seems kind of chaotic. Also, magic loses its charm when used so very much. These people cast spells to have things to sit on. Talk about lazy! They're all one step away from becoming a part of the magical Matrix. Most of the characters seem pretty caricature-y more than anything. At least Voldemort is naturally sinister, but just about every other antagonist that comes along has the villainous subtlety of Elmer Fudd. I'm hoping that for the sixth book Fudge, Lucius, Draco, Draco's thugs and whatever other minor villains who pop up will at least carry enough depth to them to actually be taken seriously as a people before Rowling paints the villain tag on them. And personally, if Harry Potter actually went to my school, I probably wouldn't hang out with him. He just doesn't seem like a very fun kid to hang out with.
Anyway, and I'm serious when I say this, I think the biggest reason I have a grudge against Harry Potter is because his name is a combination of Harry Morgan and Sherman Potter. M*A*S*H fans know that Harry Morgan played Col. Sherman Potter at the start of the fourth season. Not only was Col. Potter just about my least favorite character in the series, but his appearance marked a crucial turning point in the show; spurning its brilliant humor from the first three seasons. Strangely, M*A*S*H carried on for seven more years, winning tons of awards and becoming the most-watched show at the height of its mediocrity. Anyway, Harry Potter directly reminds me of that whole sitch. Ever since I was a kid I totally dug the whole fantasy setting, mythical creatures and a tiny dash of the occult. Then along comes this watered down version of the dark arts and the masses jump on board. It's just like all those weak seasons of M*A*S*H.
As long as we're talking about names, what's up with the name "Hogwarts" anyway? Would you like to go to school with such a name? I'm not just nitpicking for the fun of it, actually. I'm just wondering if anybody knows where that name came from. I find the name very interesting based on a sequence of dialogue found in the movie Labyrinth. David Bowie calls the troll named Hoggle "Hedgewart" and then Jennifer Connelly corrects him by saying that his name is "Hogwart" (also incorrect). Could this be where J.K. Rowling got the name?
So I just have to say it first, before anybody gets their hands on the new book. I think that the Durselys are going to save the day in the end. Like, seriously, Harry is going to be battling Voldemort and the Dursleys are going to storm into the room and knock You-Know-Who over with the back of the door. It's either that or Draco will realize suddenly that it's not too late for him to not be a total D.B. and he and Harry will cross their wand streams sending Voldemort back through some weird dimensional door.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
hopefully i'll see you all again someday
I'm just about to attempt to transfer to another server. I'm not sure if it will work or not. I'm pretty nervous. If things don't work out, I might switch my blog over to the blogspot URL of jonmadsen.blogspot.com. Of course if things don't work, then there's no way anybody would be able to read this to find out where they're supposed to be reading it at. Arrggh! Anyway, it's been nice knowing you all.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
is the world ready for... brokenwaterman?
Remember how last week I mentioned that my water broke when I was taking a shower? Well, I mean the hot water heater in my house started leaking and needed to be shut off. And then a couple of days later I went to a restaurant and the sink tap came off in my hand. So, yeah, yesterday I couldn't quite get the hot water in the sink at work turned off, so I had the maintanence guy check it out and the handle came off in HIS hand. I'm preparing to wreak havoc on the world. I'm gonna break all water, everywhere. Not since the days of Noah will Earth see so many problems with water works.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
saturday the 14th strikes back strikes back
I keep forgetting to tell everybody that in the hustle and bustle of the 4th of July and the 24th of July, to not forget about the 14th of July. The 14th of July is the day we celebrate the independence of the street we live on. To celebrate there will be an outdoor party of sorts at my house. It's bring your own fast food and/or pizza. We're gonna have a running water hose (and possibly slip 'n slide on the curvy lawn), Guitar Hero, maybe some Bang, uh... iPod music maybe, free non-alcholic non-carbonated non-sugar drinks... Anyway, just come. I'm guessing around 4 or 5ish. Call or email for directions.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
i wanna pop pt. 2 (temple of doom)
So the first 2007 episode of The World Series of Pop Culture was on last night. For those of you who don't remember deep into my past, please read here and here and here.
I'm sorry to say that, like many sequels, I felt slightly humiliated afterwards. I had a much harder time with a few of the questions. Of course pop culture contains too broad of a spectrum. Being an expert in pop culture is like being an expert in science. In our society, we have metaphysicists, rocket scientists, chemists, astronomers, psychiatrists, podiatrists, etc; but we don't have too many people with the title "expert in science." Even the greatest pop culture affecianadoes get a perfume commercial curveball thrown at them every once in a while.
I could tell that, however, I'm losing much of my prowess. I may need to pass the torch to the younger people I watched the show with. Maria, Rhett and Dre patiently watched the show with me; faithfully abiding by my rule that they couldn't answer the questions until I first informed them that I had an answer myself. The first two teams in the competition were named "Fat Guys in Little Coats" and "Motherboy." Dre immediately got the Arrested Development reference of Motherboy, which was shamefully lost on the rest of us. Bad sign for me, but I am proud of Dre.
Anyway, the first category in the game was something about 2006 celebrity squabbles. Immediately I knew this was off to a bad start since I'm not much of a subscriber of current celebrity gossip in the world of pop culture. I only missed one question this round. It had to do with one of the Grey's Anatomy stars in the recent feud I constantly hear about, but don't much care for. The answer was T.R. Knight. I don't know who that is. Unfortunately, the "Fat Guys" contestant knew the answer. I proudly answered "Nas" to the question regarding Jay-Z's big beef, while the Motherboy contestant didn't know. I love that old song "If I Ruled the World." Don't you? The following answers both I and the contestants answered correctly:
Rosie O'Donnell
Ryan Seacrest
Lindsay Lohan
Kanye West
Round 2: Scary Movies. A movie synopsis was given and the contestants had to name the movie being described. The contestants and I answered all six questions correctly:
The Ring
Child's Play
Amityville Horror (both Maria and Rhett had confident different guesses, but I pulled this one out of nowhere without ever actually seeing it because the "1979" was one of the clues and I knew Poltergeist was an 80s flick)
The Fly
28 Days Later
Jacob's Ladder
This round then went to the speed round. It required that one contestant had to name a movie nominated for the "Best Animated Film" Academy Award. The next contestant then had to name another one and so on until someone draws a blank or incorrectly answers. This one was sort of harder to gauge because if I were in their shoes I know that kind of pressure would really get to me. I successfully wrote down the following before the round came to an end:
Finding Nemo
Cars
Monsters Inc.
Shrek
The Incredibles
Ice Age
If I actually did get the opportunity to be a part of the show, the speed round would kill me.
Round 3: Jingle All the Way. This round had to do with commercial jingles. I missed TWO on this round. Horrible. Commercials shouldn't have anything to do with this competition anyway. One question had to do with some kind of perfume. The contestant, Rhett and I all guessed "White Diamonds," but the answer was "Anjelie" or something. The other question I missed had to do with Darius Rucker appearing in a Burger King ad. This is what separates me from a professional pop culture guru. I don't care for Darius Rucker or Burger King, so there's no way to know the answer that question. A more professional pop culture expert would still study that which he loathes. Correct answers for this round all around:
Big Red
Mounds
Justin Timberlake (I guess he lent his voice to McDonald's. It was just a guess)
Nair
This round also had a lightning round -- an easier one. The object was to name as many characters from the pilot episode of Lost as possible. I aced this by naming all of these before the contestants:
Jack
Sawyer
Kate
Walt
Michael
Boone
Shannon
Sayid
Locke
Jin
Sun
Charlie
Claire
One contestant said "Hurley" before I had a chance to write him down. Maria also correctly got "Rose." The only one nobody got was I think the name of the U.S. marshall who died a couple of episodes later.
Round 4: something to do with insanity. This round featured lyrics from songs that have a loose connection with mental illness and the contestants were required to name the song. I missed "Maniac" by Michael Sembello. I was and am quite ashamed. For some reason the opening lyrics to the song got me thinking of "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey. The Fat Guy missed that one as well, but the Motherboy contestant answered correctly. Other correct answers from this round:
"Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley
"I Wanna Be Sedated" by The Ramones
"Basketcase" by Green Day
Motherboy won the game in that round, which made me happy. Fat Guys in Little Suits were pretty goobery and had a stupid never-very-funny joke name. Motherboy made pop culturists at least look a little cool.
The episode we watched had one more game, this time between a team called "White Russians" and a team called "Remo Leen Teen Teen." The Remo team, I think, was three siblings. Looking over my notes I realize I actually only missed one question this whole game, but I'm pretty sure Remo Leen Teen Teen didn't even miss one. The question I missed was in the first round which had to do with Quentin Tarantino movies. It had to do with some actor who played somebody in True Romance (which isn't entirely a Tarantino movie). Anway, I guessed Eric Stoltz, but the correct answer was apparently Brad Pitt. Here are the correct answers for this particular first round. Can you come up with the questions? C'mon, let's make it fun. Remember the category is "Quentin Tarantino Movies."
his ear
Royale with cheese
a samurai sword
Black Mamba
Tim Roth (I amazingly pulled this name out of my head despite never actually seeing Reservoir Dogs (but I did read the screenplay))
Round 2: pop hits of the 80s. Here are the correct answers to some of the 80s lyrics mentioned:
"Love is a Battlefield"
"When Doves Cry"
"Every Little Thing She Does is Magic"
"Rock the Casbah"
Round 3: physical challenge. An actor and year were given and the contestants had to identify the movie in which the actor had to undergo some kind of crazy physical change to suit their character. Here are the correct movies. See if you can identify the actor or actress in each question that had to shape up, make up or fatten up for each film.
Terminator 2
Frida
American History X
Full Metal Jacket
Best in Show (this particular one involved orthodontic devices)
Remo Leen Teen Teen seems like quite a group to beat. I will be watching them with great interest (and not just because one of them looks like Apache Chief from Superfriends).
I'm sad to not be doing this, but I'm holding out for next year.
I'm sorry to say that, like many sequels, I felt slightly humiliated afterwards. I had a much harder time with a few of the questions. Of course pop culture contains too broad of a spectrum. Being an expert in pop culture is like being an expert in science. In our society, we have metaphysicists, rocket scientists, chemists, astronomers, psychiatrists, podiatrists, etc; but we don't have too many people with the title "expert in science." Even the greatest pop culture affecianadoes get a perfume commercial curveball thrown at them every once in a while.
I could tell that, however, I'm losing much of my prowess. I may need to pass the torch to the younger people I watched the show with. Maria, Rhett and Dre patiently watched the show with me; faithfully abiding by my rule that they couldn't answer the questions until I first informed them that I had an answer myself. The first two teams in the competition were named "Fat Guys in Little Coats" and "Motherboy." Dre immediately got the Arrested Development reference of Motherboy, which was shamefully lost on the rest of us. Bad sign for me, but I am proud of Dre.
Anyway, the first category in the game was something about 2006 celebrity squabbles. Immediately I knew this was off to a bad start since I'm not much of a subscriber of current celebrity gossip in the world of pop culture. I only missed one question this round. It had to do with one of the Grey's Anatomy stars in the recent feud I constantly hear about, but don't much care for. The answer was T.R. Knight. I don't know who that is. Unfortunately, the "Fat Guys" contestant knew the answer. I proudly answered "Nas" to the question regarding Jay-Z's big beef, while the Motherboy contestant didn't know. I love that old song "If I Ruled the World." Don't you? The following answers both I and the contestants answered correctly:
Rosie O'Donnell
Ryan Seacrest
Lindsay Lohan
Kanye West
Round 2: Scary Movies. A movie synopsis was given and the contestants had to name the movie being described. The contestants and I answered all six questions correctly:
The Ring
Child's Play
Amityville Horror (both Maria and Rhett had confident different guesses, but I pulled this one out of nowhere without ever actually seeing it because the "1979" was one of the clues and I knew Poltergeist was an 80s flick)
The Fly
28 Days Later
Jacob's Ladder
This round then went to the speed round. It required that one contestant had to name a movie nominated for the "Best Animated Film" Academy Award. The next contestant then had to name another one and so on until someone draws a blank or incorrectly answers. This one was sort of harder to gauge because if I were in their shoes I know that kind of pressure would really get to me. I successfully wrote down the following before the round came to an end:
Finding Nemo
Cars
Monsters Inc.
Shrek
The Incredibles
Ice Age
If I actually did get the opportunity to be a part of the show, the speed round would kill me.
Round 3: Jingle All the Way. This round had to do with commercial jingles. I missed TWO on this round. Horrible. Commercials shouldn't have anything to do with this competition anyway. One question had to do with some kind of perfume. The contestant, Rhett and I all guessed "White Diamonds," but the answer was "Anjelie" or something. The other question I missed had to do with Darius Rucker appearing in a Burger King ad. This is what separates me from a professional pop culture guru. I don't care for Darius Rucker or Burger King, so there's no way to know the answer that question. A more professional pop culture expert would still study that which he loathes. Correct answers for this round all around:
Big Red
Mounds
Justin Timberlake (I guess he lent his voice to McDonald's. It was just a guess)
Nair
This round also had a lightning round -- an easier one. The object was to name as many characters from the pilot episode of Lost as possible. I aced this by naming all of these before the contestants:
Jack
Sawyer
Kate
Walt
Michael
Boone
Shannon
Sayid
Locke
Jin
Sun
Charlie
Claire
One contestant said "Hurley" before I had a chance to write him down. Maria also correctly got "Rose." The only one nobody got was I think the name of the U.S. marshall who died a couple of episodes later.
Round 4: something to do with insanity. This round featured lyrics from songs that have a loose connection with mental illness and the contestants were required to name the song. I missed "Maniac" by Michael Sembello. I was and am quite ashamed. For some reason the opening lyrics to the song got me thinking of "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey. The Fat Guy missed that one as well, but the Motherboy contestant answered correctly. Other correct answers from this round:
"Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley
"I Wanna Be Sedated" by The Ramones
"Basketcase" by Green Day
Motherboy won the game in that round, which made me happy. Fat Guys in Little Suits were pretty goobery and had a stupid never-very-funny joke name. Motherboy made pop culturists at least look a little cool.
The episode we watched had one more game, this time between a team called "White Russians" and a team called "Remo Leen Teen Teen." The Remo team, I think, was three siblings. Looking over my notes I realize I actually only missed one question this whole game, but I'm pretty sure Remo Leen Teen Teen didn't even miss one. The question I missed was in the first round which had to do with Quentin Tarantino movies. It had to do with some actor who played somebody in True Romance (which isn't entirely a Tarantino movie). Anway, I guessed Eric Stoltz, but the correct answer was apparently Brad Pitt. Here are the correct answers for this particular first round. Can you come up with the questions? C'mon, let's make it fun. Remember the category is "Quentin Tarantino Movies."
his ear
Royale with cheese
a samurai sword
Black Mamba
Tim Roth (I amazingly pulled this name out of my head despite never actually seeing Reservoir Dogs (but I did read the screenplay))
Round 2: pop hits of the 80s. Here are the correct answers to some of the 80s lyrics mentioned:
"Love is a Battlefield"
"When Doves Cry"
"Every Little Thing She Does is Magic"
"Rock the Casbah"
Round 3: physical challenge. An actor and year were given and the contestants had to identify the movie in which the actor had to undergo some kind of crazy physical change to suit their character. Here are the correct movies. See if you can identify the actor or actress in each question that had to shape up, make up or fatten up for each film.
Terminator 2
Frida
American History X
Full Metal Jacket
Best in Show (this particular one involved orthodontic devices)
Remo Leen Teen Teen seems like quite a group to beat. I will be watching them with great interest (and not just because one of them looks like Apache Chief from Superfriends).
I'm sad to not be doing this, but I'm holding out for next year.
Monday, July 09, 2007
i break things
Over the weekend our hot water heater started leaking and as a result our cooler started pumping in mildew air. The hot water needed to be shut off, but our shower is one of those single knob thingies connected straight to the water heater. As a result I can't even take a cold shower if I wanted to. Landlord Roger says he couldn't get a plumber to come under warranty until tomorrow morning. I'll bet money that he only just called a plumber after I called him and left a message wondering what the status of getting a plumber this morning like he said he would on Friday.
This past Saturday I broke new ground in white trashiness by bathing in my backyard with a hose.
Today, I came into work to discover that my Motion project I tried to save over the weekend failed to do so. So I decided to export it into a Quicktime movie once more. After an hour of the computer working on it, the display said it still had three hours to complete the task. I asked my friend at work Steve how long it takes to export a one-minute Motion project. "It depends," he said. I asked if it usually takes four hours. "Never," he said. I then asked him why it was behaving the way it was. "Because you broke it I guess," he said. "That's what you do. You break things."
He was being sarcastic, but had a point. I've always wanted to be the one to make things better. It'd be nice to be someone who could naturally fix things. Instead I have the super power of being able to break things automatically. I suppose I can't be a superhero with this power. I can really only be a villain.
So a few of us went to lunch at the Smokehouse restaurant. I was surprised to find that they had sinks right in the dining area, so we all washed our hands. When I turned on the hot water, the handle came off in my hand.
This past Saturday I broke new ground in white trashiness by bathing in my backyard with a hose.
Today, I came into work to discover that my Motion project I tried to save over the weekend failed to do so. So I decided to export it into a Quicktime movie once more. After an hour of the computer working on it, the display said it still had three hours to complete the task. I asked my friend at work Steve how long it takes to export a one-minute Motion project. "It depends," he said. I asked if it usually takes four hours. "Never," he said. I then asked him why it was behaving the way it was. "Because you broke it I guess," he said. "That's what you do. You break things."
He was being sarcastic, but had a point. I've always wanted to be the one to make things better. It'd be nice to be someone who could naturally fix things. Instead I have the super power of being able to break things automatically. I suppose I can't be a superhero with this power. I can really only be a villain.
So a few of us went to lunch at the Smokehouse restaurant. I was surprised to find that they had sinks right in the dining area, so we all washed our hands. When I turned on the hot water, the handle came off in my hand.
Saturday, July 07, 2007
xxx - kelly wilkinson
an old friend from forever ago turned 30 today. he was in third grade with me. i remember it was funny that he was born 07/07/77. anyway, just something i remember. haven't spoken to him since i was 8.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
for those of you sick of reading
Many people know that I started a genuine podcast a while ago. Check out the new link on the right side of the page! Like blogs, there will be a time that everyone on Earth will have a podcast, so I figured I may as well get a jump on things.My particular podcast is strangely informative, addicting and easy to use. Right now it's tentatively known as "The Jon Madsen Movie Commentary Podcast" (although I'm considering changing the title to "The Vomitary"). As you can guess, for each podcast episode, I (and possibly a couple of guests) watch a movie while commenting on it. That means that in order to authentically enjoy my podcast, you should watch the movie dvd while you listen to me comment about the movie on mp3.
So here's the deal. I'm starting a blog to correspond with the podcast which can be found at www.jonsmoviecommentary.blogspot.com. For those of you who subscribe to RSS feeds, you can go to the podcast feed right here. If any of you use iTunes, go here. You can subscribe and the podcast will automatically download right to your computer. So get on it! Also, go ahead and click here to vote for me on Podcast Alley. Podcast Alley is a sort of podcast directory. The more votes the JMMCP gets, the more likely people will check it out. So vote away!
Btw, I've already completed several completed episodes, so feel free to head straight here and catch up.
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Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
very icky... as in sick... in a good way
I think this may be my first post by request. J.R. emailed me and admonished me for not doing a review of the new White Stripes album. Admon taken. Here we go. And begin.
As usual, I'll just be doing it by track listing.
1. Icky Thump
We've all heard this one, so we know how good it is. If you're reading this right now and haven't actually heard it, I'm really surprised. Who are you? How did you discover my blog? Please comment. Anyway, I heard Jack used a synthesizer for some of that weird trilly instrumental work between verses. That was strange to type. Even though I love synth more than anybody in the world, it's the last thing any real White Stripes fan would expect from them. I guess it helps to know that it's some kind of relic synthesizer from the 40s. I suppose it's sort of a dream come true for me: White Stripes AND synths. Maybe next year Depeche Mode will go all acoustic. Oh well, who can even tell it's a synthesizer; and more importantly, the sound isn't heard on subsequent songs anyway. The Stripes have a tendancy to do that. When "Blue Orchid" came out I was ecstatic about the sound. It was the first track on the last album, but the rest of the cd was completely different. Ok, enough about the song everybody should have heard by now anyway.
As usual, I'll just be doing it by track listing.1. Icky Thump
We've all heard this one, so we know how good it is. If you're reading this right now and haven't actually heard it, I'm really surprised. Who are you? How did you discover my blog? Please comment. Anyway, I heard Jack used a synthesizer for some of that weird trilly instrumental work between verses. That was strange to type. Even though I love synth more than anybody in the world, it's the last thing any real White Stripes fan would expect from them. I guess it helps to know that it's some kind of relic synthesizer from the 40s. I suppose it's sort of a dream come true for me: White Stripes AND synths. Maybe next year Depeche Mode will go all acoustic. Oh well, who can even tell it's a synthesizer; and more importantly, the sound isn't heard on subsequent songs anyway. The Stripes have a tendancy to do that. When "Blue Orchid" came out I was ecstatic about the sound. It was the first track on the last album, but the rest of the cd was completely different. Ok, enough about the song everybody should have heard by now anyway.
2. You Don't Know What Love Is (You Just Do As You're Told)
Verrrry Country. Jack lives in Nashville now apparently and you can hear it on this album. He seems a bit obviously down on love here. I think he can be very poignant with his anti-love songs. It helps that he writes very poignant love songs too. Seeing both sides of his thoughts on love actually buoy the overall meanings. I wouldn't like the love songs as much without the anti-love songs and vice-versa. The twang in this one is fun, but the guitar gets a bit tired. Singing along is great on this one and if anything actually gets me into country music, this is it.
3. 300 MPH Torrential Outpour Blues
I think this sounds like a good deep track from White Blood Cells. They have a really good heavy/soft contrast goin.' The steady groove beat complimented with the light rock riff throughout keeping my intense interest shows that Jack has just about every form of musical control
4. The Conquest
This one is probably the most different album track I've heard. I believe it's a cover, but I don't happen to have my liner notes with me right now. A few weeks ago Corey O'brien played a short interview with Jack where he discussed why he chose to include this song and the importance of its meaning. I caught the last ten seconds, so I still have no idea. Oh well, Jack's obviously relishing in the the brilliant Mexican horn section. This song sounds like it would fit in very well on the Kill Bill soundtrack. That's a compliment. Besides the horns, it's straight-up White Stripes minimalism. It actually sounds a lot like "I Think I Smell a Rat" of White Blood Cells again. Jack does a wonderful job of channeling more energy into these minimalist odes since he knows there's more room for it.
5. Bone Broke
This will be my favorite song six months from now. This is exactly what Jack was talkin' about when he said the new album would be their hardest yet. Strangely, most of the abrasiveness is achieved through his voice alone.
6. Prickly Thorn But Sweetly Worn
Welcome to the Renaissance Faire! This one didn't really give me enough time to really revel in "Bone Broke," but fortunately both songs are very cool for what they actually are. This song sort of reminds me of the video for "Safety
Dance." Actually if someone were to dub in this song over the "Safety Dance" video, that old 80s video would be way better.
Dance." Actually if someone were to dub in this song over the "Safety Dance" video, that old 80s video would be way better.7. St. Andrew (This Battle Is In The Air)
I actually thought this was just the end of track
6. They are connected though. I guess it's the White Stripes' "Need You Tonight/Mediate." The little rap is a bit strange. I'm not sure who does it. Don't have my liner notes.
8. Little Cream Soda
The intro guitar is a bit tired until the bass (or at least basser parts of the guitar) comes in with Jack's vocals. For some reason, the same initial guitar refrain suddenly becomes a part of the groove when it returns. One thing this album seems to do better than the last one is instill a sense of relentlessness.
9. Rag and Bone
Rag and bone! Rag and bone! I'll be honest. According to me, this song sounds A LOT like "Hot For Teacher." That is no insult. Not at all. Meg and Jack's theatrical dialogue throughout is totally delicious. Meg almost, ALMOST sounds like she's coming up on her tranquilizers. Listen for her snaky whisper say "This fits me perfect!" Jack does a better Jesse Jackson than Jesse Jackson. Speaking of relentless, "Rag and Bone" leaves "Little Cream Soda" in the dust.
10. I'm Slowly Turning Into You
Hmmm. Maybe this cd isn't as country as I originally thought. Is that a Beatles organ? Heavily overdubbed voices? Swiping stereo panning? This is very unique for the White Stripes -- an extensively produced noisefest. It's not like Jack is completely isolated in his own rulebook, but when he changes things up, they work.
11. A Martyr For My Love For You
"Dust In the Wind." Are there ANY actual love songs on the album? Man, this one's menacing.
12. Catch Hell Blues
Straight blues with some kind of psycho arpeggio riffs deadly set to convert any non-blues believers. Mission accomplished.

13. Effect & Cause
Ahh, back to country. They played this on Conan a day before the cd came out. I loved seeing them milk so much entertainment out of this simple acoustic tune. Once again we've got Jack venting about relationships. Makes me wonder if marriage to a Brazillian model has its share of communication and (based on this song) logic issues. Ahh. The light-heartedness of it all is a wonderful cleansing sorbet to finish the album.
My final grade:
NINE THUMBS UP.
In other White Stripes news I read today on the White Stripes site that Cold War Kids will be opening their upcoming tour. This leaves me giddy as all get out considering Robbers & Cowards was probably the best album I bought all year up to the point I picked up Icky Thump. I heard that The Raconteurs would possibly be the opening act, but I imagine that would be physically impossible for Jack to pull off (way cool though). Anyway, with Cold War Kids on the bill, this could be shaping up to be the best concert ever. I've seen some pretty sweet shows in the past: Depeche Mode '94, Oingo Boingo '95, Weezer '95, The Cure '04... but here's hopin.' Of course this is different from my standard synth concert taste... or is it?
and knowing is half the battle
Apparently Jimmy Chunga's real name is Brett Smith. The bitter blowhards on X96 revealed it this morning.
Monday, June 25, 2007
muggle racing against time
The new Harry Potter movie opens in a little more than a week. I've never been much of a fan, but especially after viewing the last two movies, I know that I won't be able to really enjoy this social phenomenon without reading the books. The problem of course is that the books are longer than scripture (and comparing them to scripture is fitting for many would-be-witches around the world). I've burned several bridges by borrowing Harry Potter books and not giving them back for years at a time because I'm borderline illiterate (which I've previously mentioned). Hopefully I'll be able to get through the fifth one, which was graciously borrowed from Reagan (I'd link to her if she had a blog, but I don't think she does).I'm still in a quandry though. If I really want to enjoy the series I may have to wade through the sixth one before the seventh one comes out. I think it comes out within a week of the fifth movie. Since the seventh is supposedly the final book, I doubt the final ending will be properly kept from me before I get around to reading it ten years from now. I have three options: 1) hurry and get them all done to achieve maximum enjoyment and minimal spoilers, 2) read them at my usual slow pace and hope they're enjoyable long after everybody talks about them for years, 3) just wait for all the movies, since there's a better chance they all come out before I read all the books. Obviously the first option is the best, but should I really do that when I don't even consider myself a fan in the first place? If anything, I want to read them all because I'm a big believer in cultural events. It may be bad to say, but I do some things because I enjoy the social party that comes with them. I didn't watch Friends so much because I thought it was so funny (even though it often was). I mostly watched it because sometimes it's fun to be plugged into phenomenons that touch millions of people. This is opposed to Simpsons, Star Wars and ABBA; all things that are/were incredibly popular, but that I legitimately enjoy.
Anyway, just sayin' I want to be one of you, I really do. It's just that these books are like War and Peace up in here yo.
flossed horizon

I ran out of floss a couple of days ago. I don't know how many years it took, but it finally happened. I remember yonks ago on The Arsenio Hall Show, Arsenio did a monologue about how nobody ever gets to the end of their floss. I don't remember anybody laughing. I'm sure they all just realized that Arsenio probably doesn't floss as much as he probably should.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
the saddest day of the year
Today is the Summer Solstice. It's the saddest day of the year because from now on, all the days are going to get shorter.
Some may say, "Hey! Since the sun is out longer, doesn't that make it a happy day?"
But then all that knowledge brings is the realization that there is only ONE happy day in the whole year, which is very very sad. Sorry everyone. Try not to get a sunburn while you're hangin' your heads.
Some may say, "Hey! Since the sun is out longer, doesn't that make it a happy day?"
But then all that knowledge brings is the realization that there is only ONE happy day in the whole year, which is very very sad. Sorry everyone. Try not to get a sunburn while you're hangin' your heads.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
i read a book!
Bright Lights, Big City, by Jay McInerney. Been meaning to read it for a long time. One of the only novels ever to be written in second person. It started off pretty strong, but kind of petered out toward the middle. I sort of wish the whole book was more like the opening sequence which was fairly trippy. Chuck Klosterman once asked the question "Which do you consider a higher form of art: the riff from "Barracuda" or the opening statement from Bright Lights, Big City?" There is a good sequence near the middle that paints a claustrophobic nightmare of a horrible work day.
Anyway, I hope this helps cure my recent illiteracy.
Anyway, I hope this helps cure my recent illiteracy.
Friday, June 08, 2007
enz of an era
I should talk about music more. I listen to music nearly all the time, but I hardly ever talk about it with people because we use music as background noise for our conversations and it's long past the time of high school when we formed most of our musical opinions anyway. Maybe, during the television summer repeats (and no Rockstar: INXS or Supernova), now would be a good time to start a pop music dialogue. Maybe this could be the first in a series.
What musical act's work do you think I relate to the most?
If you said Depeche Mode... you'd be wrong. They've got a ton of relatable stuff out there. Every song is broadly about life, love and lust. Officially, my favorite song ever is "Halo." They also have some unspoken gems. "The Bottom Line" is an obsessive love song with impact every bit as powerful as "Every Breath You Take." Yes, they come very, very close and on some days Depeche Mode would be the right answer, but not today.
The White Stripes is a pretty good guess too. Where Depeche Mode put the the emotional emphasis on coldness through programmed blips and confident lyrical negativism, The White Stripes re-injected popular music with the wondrous use of blues. There's playing loud and wailing to get your point across, then there's playing loud and wailing with soul. There's something I can't quite explain about the exuberance I have with screeching along to the words while not just head-banging, but bopping to the syncopated beat. Needless to say, I'm very excited that The White Stripes are coming, but they're not who I'm thinking about right now.
The musical act I most relate to, at least today, is very obviously Split Enz. They aren't some underground indie phenomenon or anything. Unfortunately, they don't exist as a band anymore. They're actually quite old -- late 70s, early 80s. They had some brilliantly whimsical pop delight tinged with a sort of cynicism-in-denial.
Growing up I had heard a couple of their songs, but I didn't really get into them until I went on my mission to New Zealand. On the way over, one of the in-flight audio channels was playing a little special on Tim and Neil Finn -- the two brothers in the band. I learned that they were actually from New Zealand and the show played me a few clips that were in my head my whole stay there. On the way out of the country I picked up a few Split Enz cds that I still keep close today.
I started thinking of them more recently when we were all driving to Lagoon. I got out my iPod and attempted to find the most Lagoony music. I came up with Split Enz because lots of their music sounds like carnival music. This is the case especially with songs like "My Mistake." The music sounds like a marching band on a carousel. The words are simply self-deprecating.
Another semi-hit from them with a very similar gumshoe down-beat sound is "One Step Ahead," which holds a place in my heart as the only song I really sat down and learned on the guitar. Just like "I Got You" the song starts off steady and calm but then builds to a subtle anxiety attack both musically and vocally. It's also famous for one band member's use of a forward moonwalk in the song's video a couple of years before Michael Jackson made the moonwalk famous.
When they wanted to, they sometimes dropped the upbeat musical mask. The tragic song "Charlie" seems to be about a brute pleading forgiveness from the victim of his horrendous and possibly fatal abuse. "The Devil You Know" seems to be about the futility of doing good in the modern world. Both songs employ sad, desperate instrumentation.
For the most part though, they were a pop band. I've only noticed their miserable side from many many listens. There could be many reasons for all the negativity. They never really achieved huge mainstream success. For a short period they actually had to go on the dole. Perhaps their moving from New Zealand to Australia to England never really got rid of their sealocked cabin fever.
I'm probably reading too much into it. Just listen to "I See Red" and "History Never Repeats." Both are about anger over failed love affairs. A minority would hear them as tragedy. Most would hear them as comedy.
It wasn't all pretense and veiled gloom. One of their very last songs was a straight-up beauty of a ballad called "Message To My Girl." I'd reprint the lyrics, but they'd sound too cheesy without Neil Finn's harmonious and simple piano and strings. I suppose it was telling of the band's future. Neil formed the pretty successful Crowded House. You may remember them as the guys who sang the "hey now hey now don't dream it's over" song. I'll always relate Crowded House with being a band that Parker Lewis buys concert tickets for in that old tv show (anyone remember Parker Lewis Can't Lose?). Neil's brother Tim joined crowded house from time to time inbetween his solo projects. Strangely, a couple of years ago, the last drummer for Split Enz committed suicide.
I would recommend picking up the Split Enz 2-cd greatest hits compilation called Spellbound. The title is very strange considering the band has a song called "Spellbound" but it doesn't actually appear on the collection (maybe the record company was going for a Doors sort of mystique). Or I guess I could just burn you some really good songs. If you feel like sampling a bit, listen to all the tracks I've mentioned above and also "Six Months in a Leaky Boat," "Poor Boy," "Stuff and Nonsense," "Walk Away" and "I Hope I Never."
*sigh* It would have been really great to see them live.
Growing up I had heard a couple of their songs, but I didn't really get into them until I went on my mission to New Zealand. On the way over, one of the in-flight audio channels was playing a little special on Tim and Neil Finn -- the two brothers in the band. I learned that they were actually from New Zealand and the show played me a few clips that were in my head my whole stay there. On the way out of the country I picked up a few Split Enz cds that I still keep close today.
I started thinking of them more recently when we were all driving to Lagoon. I got out my iPod and attempted to find the most Lagoony music. I came up with Split Enz because lots of their music sounds like carnival music. This is the case especially with songs like "My Mistake." The music sounds like a marching band on a carousel. The words are simply self-deprecating.
I went out to see if I could fall in love againYou may have heard a couple of their new wave pop hits from the early 80s. Their most famous was probably "I Got You." That's the one that's really monotone during the verses, but then the chorus kicks up with the gleeful chant "I don't know why sometimes I get frightened!" Pearl Jam covered this one. It's sort of about obsessive love (again, like "Every Breath You Take").
That was my mistake
That was my mistake
I went out to see if I could raise a laugh again
That was my mistake
That was my mistake
Another semi-hit from them with a very similar gumshoe down-beat sound is "One Step Ahead," which holds a place in my heart as the only song I really sat down and learned on the guitar. Just like "I Got You" the song starts off steady and calm but then builds to a subtle anxiety attack both musically and vocally. It's also famous for one band member's use of a forward moonwalk in the song's video a couple of years before Michael Jackson made the moonwalk famous.
When they wanted to, they sometimes dropped the upbeat musical mask. The tragic song "Charlie" seems to be about a brute pleading forgiveness from the victim of his horrendous and possibly fatal abuse. "The Devil You Know" seems to be about the futility of doing good in the modern world. Both songs employ sad, desperate instrumentation.
For the most part though, they were a pop band. I've only noticed their miserable side from many many listens. There could be many reasons for all the negativity. They never really achieved huge mainstream success. For a short period they actually had to go on the dole. Perhaps their moving from New Zealand to Australia to England never really got rid of their sealocked cabin fever.
I'm probably reading too much into it. Just listen to "I See Red" and "History Never Repeats." Both are about anger over failed love affairs. A minority would hear them as tragedy. Most would hear them as comedy.
It wasn't all pretense and veiled gloom. One of their very last songs was a straight-up beauty of a ballad called "Message To My Girl." I'd reprint the lyrics, but they'd sound too cheesy without Neil Finn's harmonious and simple piano and strings. I suppose it was telling of the band's future. Neil formed the pretty successful Crowded House. You may remember them as the guys who sang the "hey now hey now don't dream it's over" song. I'll always relate Crowded House with being a band that Parker Lewis buys concert tickets for in that old tv show (anyone remember Parker Lewis Can't Lose?). Neil's brother Tim joined crowded house from time to time inbetween his solo projects. Strangely, a couple of years ago, the last drummer for Split Enz committed suicide.
I would recommend picking up the Split Enz 2-cd greatest hits compilation called Spellbound. The title is very strange considering the band has a song called "Spellbound" but it doesn't actually appear on the collection (maybe the record company was going for a Doors sort of mystique). Or I guess I could just burn you some really good songs. If you feel like sampling a bit, listen to all the tracks I've mentioned above and also "Six Months in a Leaky Boat," "Poor Boy," "Stuff and Nonsense," "Walk Away" and "I Hope I Never."
*sigh* It would have been really great to see them live.
Monday, June 04, 2007
lagoon '07 (part 1 of many)
Thursday, May 31, 2007
8 reasons why fantastic 4: rise of the silver surfer will be the absolute hottest movie sequel this summer!
8. Unlike Spiderman 3, Pirates of the Carribbean: At World's End, Ocean's 13, The Bourne Ultimatum and Shrek the Third; this film is the first sequel rather than the second and will have that much less diminishment from the original.7. Jessica Alba is in it and she is SMOKIN' HOT ! ! ! ! ! ... actually, I don't really think she's that pretty and I don't understand her appeal, but I guess I can't argue with the
masses.6. Said with a quick schwa it sounds like FUN-tastic 4.
5. Three Spiderman movies give you merely three Spidermen, but only two Fantastic 4 films give you eight Fantastic 4s!
4. The incredible Michael McCusker did the editing! Click here for his imdb page.
3. Not every film made in Hollywood has the universe's second-best surfer!

2. Morpheus from The Matrix is in this! Well, not Morpheus, but the guy who played him. Well, the voice of the guy who played Morpheus is in it anyway.
1. It's about time someone made a live-action, but more cartoony version of The Incredibles... again.
Seriously though, I'll probably see this when it comes out even though I never saw the first one.
I sort of miss doing the 8 lists. Did you know that the guy from City Weekly does this thing called "The Ocho?" That guy totally ripped me off! Some of my lists are found here. Most aren't that good.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
xxx - 1977-2007
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