festivus and the airing of grievances '08

Happy Festivus everyone! Looks like I'm just squeaking this entry in time. I was hoping to get some feats of strength in this year, but I'm way down in Orem.

Anyway, on to the Airing of Grievances!

1. The lack of straightforward HTML embed codes on some online videos
They may provide the embedding, but often they actually have the audacity to ask for my Blogger username and password. There's no way I'm volunteering that! Get over yourselves and just give me the straight code. I don't care if it's easier on everyone who wants to share specifically with Blogger or Wordpress or Facebook or whatever. Yeah, you're probably legit, but it sets a bad precedent. We should never be asked that information by a third party. One of these days when everyone's used to supplying their info, somebody's going to nab all our blogs and identities.

2. Apostrophe's in plural's
Lately it's gone catastrophic. This past year has been especially harsh for this mistreatment. Hardly any words are pluralized with an apostrophe. I believe that just about the only exception is when you pluralize specific letters of the alphabet. Speaking of...

3. E's ate thee ende ofe wordse
Sure it may seem classier to spell it "towne" or "centre" or "theatre," but it's simply wrong. Correctness trumps classy. Incorrect classy is simply sleazy. We fought a revolution with the British to fight the lame pretentious way they spell words, and we won, dammit! (You say: "Pretentious? Moi?")

4. Cars parked on the wrong side of the road
Cars go on the right. Remember that revolution thing? Yeah.

5. All the football players on the team pointing that they have possession of the ball after a fumble
Yeah. As if your pointing is going to affect what the ref finds out when he piles all the guys off the ball.

6. Writer's strike fallout
How lame is it that they didn't release the new Harry Potter in the fall? I don't even care much about Harry Potter and I think it's lame. They already marketed it for the fans for a fall release. Now they're just sitting on it because they have so little for next summer? Same goes for Star Trek. It's done. It's sitting somewhere. I can watch it. And here's the thing: it's supposed to be a winter movie. It's not a summer blockbuster. I like Star Trek because it doesn't belong to the masses. It belongs to me and my people in the middle of winter. I know, I know. It's good business. This year was a good movie year so they have to save some for next year so the investors will be happy. Fine. Good business. Fine. Hey, how's this for good business: DON'T SPIT IN THE FACE OF THE CUSTOMER!

7. Getting penalized for keeping an unregistered car at my house
I can understand why we need to register cars. It could be a dangerous car after all. It's simply not dangerous sitting at my own house. Look, don't ticket unregistered cars in residential areas, okay? If it's parked in a business area. Fine. Ticket.

8. Firefox refusing to update
For some reason this open-source wonder miracle of all browsers doesn't like me or my computer. Haven't tried lately, but the latest version is not being used on this computer. And the other computer's Firefox doesn't recognize generic Quicktime embeds. Sometimes IE is way easier (and it shouldn't be!).

9. Too much emphasis on momentum in sports
I hear the phrase too much. "This play is a real momentum-changer." Can't these athletes be a little zen about their work and take every individual play seriously regardless of the context? Maybe not, but at least try to get it in their heads, coaches and fans. Don't weigh the game entirely on single plays.

10. Goatees

11. Gears of War 2 controls
I love me some Gears, but I am so sick of doing a somersault into a crowd of monsters instead of doing what I WANTED to do which is hide behind a stack of sandbags.

12. Lack of Mr. Plow
Did the city cut its funding in this area? I seriously think they did. The roads are way less plowy than last year. And where's the salt? I haven't seen any.

13. U of U basketball jerseys
When did they change everyone's name on the team to "Utah?"

14. Fast food inconsistency
It's too hard to memorize where all the "good" Arby's and Wendy's restaurants are in the valley. Can't you organize the franchise management so that they're all good?

15. Cafe Rio getting my meal too fast
Hold on there senor. I don't automatically want everything on my salad. Wait for me to say I want shredded lettuce before you put the entire cabbage head on there. Pico is like biting into a living rabbit. Guacamole is green, putrid play-doh. I don't want any of that stuff. And it would be nice if half the meal wasn't cilantro.

16. Dvds that don't rip
Why does my ripping program fail with only some dvds? Look, I'm not running a piracy ring out of my basement. Just let me grab a couple of scenes. Remember that bit with the ax going through the door in the Halloween movie? Well it would have been waaaaaay better if I grabbed it from the actual Shining cd instead of YouTube.

17. Simple cruelty
We're so mean to each other. You know that, right? I think we don't even know how cruel we are. Sometimes it's easy to miss when constantly surrounded by idiocy. That's no excuse. We've all been the moron before. When surrounded by idiocy, be nice. Try to anyway. I HATE being nice. Seriously. It's just something that needs to be done, you know? And it's way easier when everyone else is doing it.

jon demand 4

I had to pack my computer up and go to the parents' house to edit this, so that part about wanting a Macbook Pro is especially poignant.



Remember to subscribe to Jon Demand!

jon demand 3 and the giving of gifts

Here is Jon Demand Episode 3! I've had it done for a few days, but I haven't posted it because I've been trying to video blogger embed it into the Jon Demand blog. Why do I have to do that? Because I need the video itself in the official RSS feed so that it will automatically download for the fine folks who've subscribed to the podcast in iTunes or other RSS feed. Yes, I am quite aware that quite possibly nobody has subscribed yet. Well it's not my fault that I surround myself with unsupportive non-podcasters! Anyway, the point is, the blogger upload feature is totally not working for me right now. Did anyone else have problems uploading videos to blogger this weekend? I tell it to go and it just says "uploading..." for hours and hours and it doesn't even go up one byte. Lemme know.



Okay, so one more thing. I think I know what I'm giving for Christmas this year. I considered not getting anybody anything, but I thought of a fairly clever, frugal and easily mass-produced system of gifts for this year. I just don't know where to draw the line on whom to give to. Please comment on this post and let me know if you feel close enough to me to give you a gift.

jon demand episode 2 plus major technological announcement

Hey, before I forget, I just put up a new Song of the Moment. I've neglected it for like a month and a half.

So here's the next Jon Demand. And also here's a very special treat. Anybody have iTunes out there? Because now you can subscribe and sync episodes of Jon Demand to automatically download to iTunes -- and hence onto your iPod or mp3 player!

Go to this page on iTunes.


Also, Jon Demand is its own RSS now. That means that one can go to jondemandpodcast.blogspot.com and stick that in their reader and avoid having to deal with all my lame wordy blog posts. So if you hate my blog, just stick jondemandpodcast.blogspot.com into your Google Reader.

Anyway, the point of this whole Jon Demand subscription thing is to have a distribution outlet for all my videos, including Jon Demand specifically, Halloween movies, friends' movies, pirated movies, funny clips in general and recordings I make of you without you knowing.

I think it sounds totally fun! Seriously.

Okay, here's Episode 2:

watchful observations of new watchmen trailer

0:00 -- Freaky music, huh? I guess the pumpkins have been done to death with the Watchmen campaign. The churchy spookiness fits, though.

0:05 -- Has anyone noticed that in the past week YouTube has switched to the widescreen format. The place I got this from has the widescreen embedded into the blog, but it looks like it's not working for me. Sorry about half the screen being black bars everyone!

0:40 -- Check out the framed picture of the younger Silk Spectre in what's probably the Comedian's apartment. Nice touch.

0:43 -- One thing the movie really has going for it is the eerie ink movements on Rorschach's mask. I read the graphic novel twice and a half and I never really caught on that it even did that. Surely this will be one thing that's cooler on film than print.

0:45 -- Headline: "The Comedian Gets Last Laugh on Moloch."

0:52 -- Sometimes I hesitate watching and scrutinizing trailers because I'm afraid I'll hit too many spoilers. Perhaps I shouldn't have read the graphic novel then, because these trailer images are exactly like the novel's images.

1:02 -- Fade to black. I hate movie trailers for for fading in and out of black as often as they do. Since I started editing movie trailers into The Cinematic Experience, I've noticed it a lot more often. It's wicked obnoxious.

1:04 -- Wow, the original Silk Spectre's hair was hideous.

1:09 -- Was this sinister Comedian look toward Silk Spectre in the book? I don't have my copy right now (not that it matters, since I'm too lazy to look it up online). Anyway, it's a beautiful addition.

1:10-2:00 -- We've seen just about all of this in the past trailer. I suppose I didn't comment on it too much back then. The Mars sequence looks like it could be slightly breathtaking -- although it's completely given away now. I like whoever they got for Sally Juspeczyk. If she delivers her lines as well as she looks the part, I think we're in business. The Jon Osterman sequences look pretty good too. Hopefully they don't show off Dr. Manhattan too much. I think they'll get more mileage out of him if they keep him mysterious.

2:09 -- Sounds like Danny Elfman took the reins on the music.

2:19 -- Nixon! Anybody see Frost/Nixon yet? How about that Futurama where the disembodied head of Nixon wins the Earthican presidency?

2:22 -- I'm worried about Nite Owl's little ship. Will the audience believe that it can fly and shoot through ice with no wings and not really any noticeable jet propulsion? It may be the fakest looking thing in the story. Zack Snyder will need to tow a fine line between ridiculous camp and dead seriousness.

2:32 -- Did the Comedian just deck a woman?

2:35 -- Isn't Veidt supposed to be more handsome than this? He looks pretty drugged up.

2:39 -- Who's this kid? Does he have the shining?

2:42 -- Looks like Nite Owl goes a little nuts. You know there's no holding back with this movie when the nicest guy in the book is shown in the movie trailer totally wailing on a guy.

2:50 -- Is that Max Headroom as Moloch? Nice to see him getting work. Although I never really liked the guy. When he was here filming The Stand all those years ago, he implied in an interview that everyone in Utah was inbred.

2:55 -- Here's my favorite image in the trailer: Dollar Bill stuck in the revolving door. I'm pretty sure this one wasn't in the graphic novel. Kids! This is why you don't wear a cape! I like to believe that Bill's ill-devised cape was the inspiration to mention the impracticalities of capes in The Incredibles

jon demand is on the air!

Okay, this first episode and the one that's gonna follow aren't as exciting as I was hoping, but I'll still watch them! Seriously, though -- episode 3 is going to be nuts.

now that the tryptophan has worn off...

I meant to blog about my Thanksgiving weekend. Is it too late? It's the first weekend of December and I'm listening to Christmas music right now. I'm probably exceeding the statute of limitations on this one.

Really briefly, let me just say that I love Thanksgiving, but I don't really enjoy Thanksgiving dinner (What? Turkey, again? *sigh*). So it was especially fun to go out for Thanksgiving this year. The 'rents and I hit up Magleby's for their annual Thanksgiving buffet. The line was long and homeless-like, but it was good food. Unfortunately, I'm now going to associate crab legs with Thanksgiving dinner from now on.

Other Thanksgiving tradition upheld: seeing a movie. Maria was in town and we saw Twilight. The parents were supposed to come as well, but things came up and mom was feeling goofy sick anyway. I strangely liked the movie. Maybe it was because the trailer was so lame and the movie was actually better than the trailer. I doubt the studio execs did such a thing on purpose, but it totally worked. Everybody was going to see it anyway, so it only helps spread the word when everybody coming out says, "It was way better than I thought it would be!" I think it's a good idea. Of course, I seem to be the only one actually saying that it's better than expectations. Anyway, I seriously found it more enjoyable than the book on several occasions -- most notably in providing some humor. The girl wasn't very good (of course with a lame character like Bella, how could she be?), but I thought the Pattinson guy who played Edward was plenty cool. I know all the girls are saying he's not hot enough, but think about it this way: Stephenie Myer constantly wrote about how beautiful the guy is, but she hardly ever delivered some non-subjective descriptions. When she did, however, she was totally describing Robert Pattinson. Anyway, the movie wasn't horrible. Probably won't make my year-end top ten, but it wasn't horrible.

My final Thanksgiving necessity was catching up on some overdue dvds.

First up: Square Pegs. I probably know only two people who are aware of this tv show from the early 80s. 'Twas a high-school sitcom starring Sarah Jessica Parker, Jami Gertz and the guy who played Kirk's son in Star Trek II. As my brother put it (my brother Andy is a HUGE fan), it was way ahead of its time. In many senses it was. It was a single-camera show, which means that it didn't look as staged as most traditional sitcoms at the time. It looked a lot more like The Office, 30 Rock or Scrubs. Another plus: it was definitely a product of its time. Most people would call that a minus, but it's a plus for me. It's like a fascinating study of the specific trends and attitudes of 1982. It wasn't Duran Duran that guested on the first episode, it was The Waitresses -- a perfect image of that exact time. Some annoying things: yes, there's a single camera, but there's also a laugh track, which makes no sense. They're obviously filming in a real school and not a studio audience. The kids are also VERY stereotypical. Maybe this is a plus, because it's so very very obvious. We got the shy girl, the girl who wants to be popular above all else, the weirdo music lover, the hopeful stand-up comedian, the bossy student government (pep squad) chick, the valley girl and (embarrassingly the most stereotypical of all) the sassy black woman.

Next: Star Trek: The Next Generation. I've started watching the entire series of TNG on behalf of another project. Now I don't care what you say or what your so-called credentials are, but Next Gen is pretty sweet. The first season, however, is howlingly not sweet at all. Fortunately, there's plenty of unintentional comic relief. Eventually, this show grew to a really great franchise, but how it got past the first season is beyond me. I guess it had the luxury of non-network syndication in 1987, plus legions of fans clamoring for a new Star Trek series for nearly 20 years. Those same fans will mistakenly bestow more accolades on TNG than on the original series (whatever).

Veronica Mars. I've only seen the first ten or so episodes, but it's becoming an absolute delight. I was really worried at the beginning. Unfortunately, I'm probably less of a fan of Kristen Bell than I was before. It's not that I dislike smart girls, but what I really hate is when a girl gets smart girl attitude. You know, the kind of attitude where everything you say is dumb and her tiny self is just standing there with an annoying smirk and her head cocked to the side. Yeah. Sass. I hate it. On everybody. Also alarming when I first started watching was how I had the assumption that it was a super smart, under the radar show that the mainstream simply didn't get. Imagine my horror, when the stunt casting of Paris Hilton occurred on, like the second episode. Quibbles aside, it's an awesome show. Funny, sad, thrilling and all that. I also love having a mystery to solve every time. The theme song "We Used to be Friends" by The Dandy Warhols is an awesome song. Fortunately it was done first on The O.C. I also love Logan Echolls. He plays the jerk. Veronica fans keep asking me if I "like" Logan yet which I think means "has his heart softened and has he won the heart of Veronica Mars yet?" The answer to that is no. I think I'll actually like him less when that happens. Sad to hear that the show only lasted for three seasons.

So next holiday plans: MLK Day! What're we doin'?

typalizer

I'm grabbing ideas from that other blog again.

Remember the Myers-Briggs personality test? It scores like this:

You get an E or an I depending on whether you have dominant extroversion or introversion.
You get an S or N depending on whether you're dominantly sensing or have introversion.
And so on with Thinking and Feeling...
and judging and perceiving.

This site:

http://www.typealyzer.com

allows you to input your blog and based on your blog word usage, breaks down your Myers-Briggs personality.

I scored an ISTP -- The Mechanics.

Here's what it says about that:

The independent and problem-solving type. They are especially attuned to the demands of the moment are masters of responding to challenges that arise spontaneously. They generally prefer to think things out for themselves and often avoid inter-personal conflicts.

The Mechanics enjoy working together with other independent and highly skilled people and often like seek fun and action both in their work and personal life. They enjoy adventure and risk such as in driving race cars or working as policemen and firefighters.

Here's the brain activity breakdown at the lower right.

The first paragraph (besides the awkward second sentence which I think is supposed to be two) pretty much fits me I think. The second paragraph -- not at all. Perhaps I tend to only blog about exciting events, such as fire-fighting. According to Wikipedia, 5.4% of Americans are ISTP.

Hmm. I've got a bunch of other blogs, I wonder if the test yields the same result. If the test works, it should yield the same response for all the others. I mean, I'm the same person writing all of these, right?

J.R. Watches Star Trek for the first time: ESTP -- The Doers

The active and playful type. They are especially attuned to people and things around them and often full of energy, talking, joking and engaging in physical out-door activities.

The Doers are happiest with action-filled work which craves their full attention and focus. They might be very impulsive and more keen on starting something new than following it through. They might have a problem with sitting still or remaining inactive for any period of time.


Maybe this one is different because It's not all me. Maybe J.R. throws the thing over to extroversion.

The Jon Madsen Movie Commentary Podcast: The Performers -- ESFP

The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don´t like to plan ahead - they are always in risk of exhausting themselves.

The enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation - qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.


Hmm. I was hoping that I'd score a "think" on this one rather than "feel." Perhaps I'm not an intellectual movie snob at all, but a passive victim of manipulation.

Blogging Forgotten Realms: The Performers -- ESFP

The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don´t like to plan ahead - they are always in risk of exhausting themselves.

The enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation - qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.


Scored the same on this one as for the Movie Commentary Podcast. Perhaps the results of this one should be tossed out, because the blog is supposed to be written as several different characters. I'm glad, however, that it scored a "feel." Maybe it means we've got some real characters going on over there and not lifeless robots.

should have been posted last week...

This was an actual text conversation I had with Kristi last week!

Kristi: We're watching a chick flick if you're not doing anything. [09:01:51 PM]

Jon: I'm on my way to the Maxim fire. What movie are you watching? [09:03:10 PM]

Kristi: Ps i love you. we just saw your car at home and thought we'd invite you. Have fun. [09:05:01 PM]

Jon: Um... i love you too. Seriously, though, what movie are you watching? [09:06:32 PM]

Kristi: You're such a dork. [09:08:06 PM]

Jon: That sounds like a pretty good movie. [09:08:56 PM]

100 reasons why high school sucked

After checking out some Google Analytics, I found myself checking out other blogs that have mentioned some of my other blogs (it really is a worldwide web, huh?). Anyway, here's one that name-dropped the J.R. Watches Star Trek blog seemingly out of nowhere. One of this girl's entries was to do the following:

A) Go to Music Outfitters.

B) In the search function, enter the year you graduated from high school. Get the list of the 100 most popular songs of that year.

C) Bold the songs you like, strike through the ones you hate, and underline or italicize your favorite.

D)Do nothing to those you don’t remember or don’t care about.

I checked her list (from 1985) and was immediately envious. Even though she claims she disliked most of the songs, I find the list overall to be pretty memorable. So it was even more disturbing when I checked out my year -- 1995. Man, I hated the music from my final year of high school! Most people my age are probably disagreeing right now. The 90s had grunge -- probably the defining musical genre of my generation. Unfortunately, A) I never appreciated grunge as much as I should have in high school and B) as this list clearly shows, there wasn't nearly enough of it in the middle of the decade. I would have welcomed a ton more grunge to this list.

Anyway, I'm about to do the little activity, but I'm doing it with changes.

Bolded are the songs I don't mind that much.

Strikethroughed are the songs I dislike/hate.

Italicized are the songs I don't remember at all.

And then just normal fonted ones are the songs that I have no feeling for one way or another.

1995

1. Gangsta's Paradise, Coolio
2. Waterfalls, TLC
3. Creep, TLC
4. Kiss From A Rose, Seal
5. On Bended Knee, Boyz II Men
6. Another Night, Real McCoy
7. Fantasy, Mariah Carey
8. Take A Bow, Madonna
9. Don't Take It Personal (Just One Of Dem Days), Monica
10. This Is How We Do It, Montell Jordan
11. I Know, Dionne Farris
12. Water Runs Dry, Boyz II Men
13. Freak Like Me, Adina Howard
14. Run-Around, Blues Traveler
15. I Can Love You Like That, All-4-One
16. Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman?, Bryan Adams
17. Always, Bon Jovi
18. Boombastic/In The Summertime, Shaggy
19. Total Eclipse Of The Heart, Nicki French
20. You Gotta Be, Des'ree
21. You Are Not Alone, Michael Jackson
22. Hold My Hand, Hootie and The Blowfish
23. One More Chance-Stay With Me, Notorious B.I.G.
24. Here Comes The Hotstepper, Ini Kamoze
25. Candy Rain, Soul For Real
26. Let Her, w Hootie and The Blowfish
27. I Believe, Blessid Union Of Souls
28. Red Light Special, TLC
29. Runaway, Janet Jackson
30. Strong Enough, Sheryl Crow
31. Colors Of The Wind, Vanessa Williams
32. Someone To Love, Jon B.
33. Only Wanna Be With You, Hootie and The Blowfish
34. If You Love Me, Brownstone
35. In The House Of Stone And Light, Martin Page
36. I Got 5 On It, Luniz
37. Baby, Brandy
38. Run Away, Real McCoy
39. As I Lay Me Down, Sophie B. Hawkins
40. He's Mine, Mokenstef
41. December, Collective Soul
42. I'll Be There For You-You're All I Need To Get By, Method Man-Mary J. Blige
43. Shy Guy, Diana King
44. I'm The Only One, Melissa Etheridge
45. Every Little Thing I Do, Soul For Real
46. Before I Let You Go, BLACKstreet
47. Big Poppa/Warning, Notorious B.I.G.
48. Sukiyaki, 4 P.M.
49. I Wanna Be Down, Brandy
50. I'll Make Love To You, Boyz II Men
51. Dear Mama/Old School, 2Pac
52. Hold On, Jamie Walters
53. Keep Their Heads Ringin', Dr. Dre
54. The Rhythm Of The Night, Corona
55. Roll To Me, Del Amitri
56. Scream/Childhood, Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson
57. Freek'n You, Jodeci
58. I Wish, Skee-lo
59. Believe, Elton John
60. Carnival, Natalie Merchant
61. You Don't Know How It Feels, Tom Petty
62. Back For Good, Take That
63. Tootsee Roll, 69 Boyz
64. You Want This-70's Love Groove, Janet Jackson
65. Tell Me, Groove Theory
66. Can't You See, Total
67. All I Wanna Do, Sheryl Crow
68. This Lil' Game We Play, Subway
69. Come And Get Your Love, Real McCoy
70. This Ain't A Love Song, Bon Jovi
71. Secret, Madonna
72. Player's Anthem, Junior M.A.F.I.A.
73. Feel Me Flow, Naughty By Nature
74. Every Day Of The Week, Jade
75. The Sweetest Days, Vanessa Williams
76. Short Dick Man, 20 Fingers Featuring Gillette
77. Brokenhearted, Brandy
78. No More "I Love You's", Annie Lennox
79. You Used To Love Me, Faith Evans
80. Constantly, Immature
81. Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me, U2
82. 100% Pure Love, Crystal Waters
83. Ask Of You, Raphael Saadiq
84. Sugar Hill, Az
85. Good, Better Than Ezra
86. Brown Sugar, D'angelo
87. Turn The Beat Around, Gloria Estefan
88. 'Til You Do Me Right, After 7
89. 1st Of Tha Month, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony
90. Like The Way I Do If I Wanted To, Melissa Etheridge
91. I Live My Life For You, Firehouse
92. Dream About You-Funky Melody, Stevie B
93. Cotton Eye Joe, Rednex
94. Thank You, Boyz II Men
95. I'll Stand By You, Pretenders
96. I Miss You, N II U
97. Give It 2 You, Da Brat
98. Best Friend, Brandy
99. Misery, Soul Asylum
100. Can't Stop Lovin' You, Van Halen

Wow! Look how many I didn't even know! Obviously I wasn't very into the 90s R&B and rap scenes. I remember more songs from when I was 8 than when I was 18. And to those of you who are like, "Since when did Jon ever like Take That! and Sophie B. Hawkins?" I say I'm actually not fan at all. I just had to pad the positive numbers slightly (and I've found myself singing along to both of those songs). Hardly any of the songs that I mentioned that I liked would be songs I'd not tune the station from if it came on the radio.

Take a look at your list. Did you fare better?

my karaoke song explained

A couple of nights ago I went Karaokeing with some friends. It was great fun. We hit up the Tavernacle. My only complaint was the song selection. Perhaps that didn't matter though. I have this (possibly annoying) habit of picking 80s songs that not too many of my peers remember (or were alive to hear). I like to think that if I do a really awesome karaoke job with a song that's unfamiliar to people, it becomes MY song even more so than the original artist in the eyes of my viewers.

Ultimately that night I went with "Would I Lie to You?" by The Eurythmics. VERY RISKY. Not only was I not extremely familiar with the song, but it's also sung by a girl That's always real tricky. I got up there and immediately said "Alright, sing along if you know the song." To my horror, partway through I realized that the most identifiable parts of the song are actually sung by the BACK-UP singers and the karaoke screen doesn't even pop up words for those parts. I held the mic out to the audience to sing along to it, but it appeared that all my friends had absolutely no idea what song I was singing. There were a few people singing along on my left side, so kudos to them for knowing the words. Actually, I don't know if they actually knew the song or if they just achieved "drunk knowledge" that often occurs during bar sing-alongs.

After I finished attempting to wail like Annie Lennox from the karaoke screened "ah"s and "oh"s, I confirmed with every single one of my friends that they had never heard the song before. I bet they have. They've just never heard me attempt the soul-diva vox of Annie Lennox before.

For your sakes, here is the complete version. It was actually taken from Eurythmic Dave Stewart's YouTube page. He requested no embeds so I had to sorta borrow the video and then upload it back into Blogger. Have you really not heard this song before?



One of my favorite things that Sports Guy does is do a play-by-play of YouTube videos. Thanks to my sick, extensive knowledge of 80s music videos, I'd be totally remiss if I didn't do the same with this one.

0:00 -- The first minute of the official music video is a non-musical cinematic prologue. Such a practice was gaining popularity ever since "Thriller" a few years before.

0:06 -- Eurythmics guitarist and producer Dave Stewart strolls in and (very politely) remarks that Annie Lennox is late. He A) appears blind and B) sounds exactly like George Harrison.

0:14 -- Evil motorcycle guy drops Annie off. This is part of an 80s trend where hip, strong-willed, short-haired blonde women are shoved around by an abusive jerk in their own music videos (see "Voices Carry" by 'Til Tuesday). This also showcases another trend in 80s videos, tv shows and movies. The heroine always either escapes FROM a guy on a motorcycle, or escapes WITH a guy on a motorcycle.

0:28 -- The record company bleeps whatever the jerk calls Annie. I scoured the net, but couldn't find the uncensored, uncut version anywhere.

0:40 -- Dave Stewart seems like Alan Rickman in Die Hard until he speaks in his supernally gentle voice. After offering his shoulder and soothing beard to lean on, he reassures her: "Just be yourself tonight." The album this song appears on is entitled Be Yourself Tonight. Some albums are named after songs; some are named after incidental lyrics in the songs. This may be the only album named after a throwaway cinematic sequence attached to the beginning of one of the song videos.

1:00 -- The song begins right at the one-minute mark. Right away we hear that they've bagged the synth-heavy nature of the band's stereotype. Now they're channeling motown soul.

1:14 -- Yeah, that's right! It's the 80s and we're swimming in one mother of a catchy guitar riff!

1:20 -- The music video trumpeter misses his trumpet lip sync cue by two full seconds. Today, music videos will go an extra day of shooting to fix such a problem. Back then? Whatev.

1:30 -- Annie comes in NOT singing the main chorus. She then slyly crosses in front of the back-up singers the camera is focused on. It's almost as if she's playing back-up to the back-ups. She is trying out her Aretha-like pipes, though.

1:58 -- Annie achieves femininity through her hip-shake on the catwalk. This absolutely extinguishes the model of androgeny that she achieved in the "Sweet Dreams" video.

2:14 -- Annie actually sings the words "would I lie to you?" These words were NOT provided in the karaoke version I sang.

2:30 -- Inexplicable 80s music video moment #1: Annie breaks the fourth wall of the club setting by singing directly to the camera. She also sings without the microphone up to her face. Was this a video shoot oversight or was it some sort of surreal artistic decision? I choose the latter.

2:44 -- The bad guy unwittingly provides a sweet motorcycle sample to compliment the song a la the 60s favorite "Leader of the Pack."

2:59 -- Dave inexplicably switches from lead to rhythm guitar. Video shoot oversight or artistic decision? I choose the former.

3:04 -- A businessman ballerino jumps onto the stage and pirhouettes back into the crowd. It's awesome. Unfortunately, Generations X and Y would NOT let such a thing happen today. They'd just ridicule the guy to tears.

3:22 -- The bad boyfriend is back from whatever errand he had to run. It apparently took him 142 seconds to accomplish it, whatever it was. Say what you will about the guy -- he is quite efficient.

3:54 -- It suddenly strikes me that all 80s British bandmembers with beards must also wear black leather jackets. Actually, Peter Hook, bassist of New Order (pictured), is the only other example that I can think of. He's worth at least five bearded Brits, though.

4:02 -- The motorcycle jerk plays right into Annie's game and attempts to continue the argument with her onstage. Bad move. By this point, Annie obviously has the crowd on her side. Plus, he doesn't even have a microphone so we don't know what he's saying. My guess is that he's abandoned the argument and has moved on to simply psyching her out. "You're singing is flat! FLAT!"

4:12 -- Annie shoves him into the crowd although he obviously stage dives and enjoys it. Either it was late in shooting or Annie, Dave and the rest of the band actually won the guy over through their awesomeness (see Rocky IV)

4:29 -- The return of the businessman ballerino! No shame! You go guy!

4:40 -- Now we have a fade into Dave doing a sweet stage jump in slow motion and not timed to the music. Perhaps this was to offset the fact that the song ends in an audio fade.

4:49 -- The horn section is randomly roaming about center stage! Chaos has replaced order and anarchy rules -- which is easy to do and look cool in a music video because the music is dubbed in anyway.

4:53 -- Two awesome things happen within a short timeframe. The same trumpeter who missed his cue at the beginning of the song now redeems himself by spinning his instrument on his finger like he's in the wild west. Right after that, Dave chucks his guitar into the crowd and the instrument KEEPS PLAYING THE SONG!

5:02 -- Obligatory 80s robot dance.

Well, there you have it. Keep in mind, I love this stuff. I AM NOT MAKING FUN OF THIS SONG OR VIDEO! Don't get any mixed messages.

Next time we're at The Tavernacle, you're singing along with me!

cinematic experience plug

Well, it's probably about time that I announced my latest collaborative venture. Chances are you already know because John and Cameron have already announced it and their blogs are way more popular than mine.

I edit The Cinematic Experience. It's the movie review show that I agree with nearly 75% of the time. Here's a great embed for your a'ganderin'.



It's supposed to be on tv I think. Maybe it is. Ask the guys. In the meantime you can see the whole selection on YouTube.

how i survived...

Amazingly people are still asking me how the game was. Strangely not everyone heard what happened (or more accurately didn't happen) to me.

I LOST THE TICKET!

Yeah, I know, right? What's up with that. Joe and Beau (hey, that rhymes!) and I were enjoying a wonderful lunch at Charlie Chow's and on the way out I felt my back pocket where I kept the ticket and it was totally gone. I was wearing my corduroy pants with shallow back pockets so it must've fallen out on the way to the restaurant. Either that, or the family of Utes picked my pocket because they didn't want their stadium corrupted by someone who obviously blued himself.

I told everyone that if anyone deserved to lose his ticket, it was me -- since I've been so wanting to sell it for a quick buck. Still, as long it's gone, the buck would have been nice (200 would have been far nicer)

Three quarters would have been pretty fun, but the fourth would have been horrendous, so it was nice to watch on a comfy tv with some other cougars. I'm not saying than I and my friends are older single women on the prowl (at least not all of us). I'm just re-iterating that yes, I am a BYU fan -- even more so than I was in school.

martyr for love

This may be the last time any of you see me.

As of this writing, I haven't been able to get rid of my BYU-Utah football game ticket, so it looks like I'll have to go to the game. Last time I went to the BYU-Utah game at Rice-Eccles stadium I SWORE I'd never go back.

Now, strangely, I'm going to torture myself all over again. Actually, I guess I'm going to allow 45,000 of the red menace to torture me. Maybe I'm a lousy fan, but I don't see BYU winning this one. The odds are clearly against us. That's still irrelevant though. I simply don't get the same joy out of the spite that comes from sticking it to the other team on their own turf. It's either freak out and get miserable or break even with me. I simply don't get enough pleasure out of sporting events.

Nevertheless, we got the tickets several months ago just to go to this game and now we're committing. It could be rough, and as I've said I may not be coming back. This may be the biggest game ever in the rivalry. I think fans on both sides will be taking this one personally. It could be life-threatening.

Tell my story.

the ascendancy of the child

I should have posted this news a while ago. People and Wikipedia have both confirmed that the child of promise foretold by the comedy gods entered our realm on October 25th, 2008. His name shall be known to us mortals as Archibald "Archie" William Emerson Arnett and he weighed 129 ounces upon gracing our world. Let us rejoice by watching Arrested Development, Hot Rod, Mean Girls and DVRed Weekend Updates all at once on several different tvs.

some dvd extras minus one dvd

I apologize to all you people who are constantly like, "the book is way better than the movie." This blog is pretty much turning into a video blog. I like movies a lot, okay?

Anyway, through the same cinematic computer magic that went into colorizing It's a Wonderful Life, I've managed to colorize Cyber Stalking Slaughter on Center St.



Also we've compiled a clip show full of outtakes from the movie this year. You'll probably think these are funnier if you were actually there, but then again most of these funny moments will probably be new to you if you weren't. It's sort of a good catch-22.

it's election day! yay!

Vote Nader/Gonzalez btw. I probably should have mentioned that sooner. I'm friends with Nader on Facebook. I'm not friends with Gonzalez, though. Hmmm.

So I just got done voting. I figured I'd go early to avoid the lines at the polling place (very successful) and also to avoid the lines at Ben & Jerry's. It was empty! But apparently they don't start giving away the free ice cream with the voting until 5:00. So I imagine it'll be plenty crowded by then. Dash it all! To make matters worse, I was in such a hurry to get out and Barack the vote (except I didn't actually vote for Obama) that i didn't bother changing my shirt from yesterday. That means my sticker is on yesterday's shirt and if I want the free ice cream people will probably see me wearing the same shirt. Yes, I know I can just transfer the sticker, but I'm always wary about the diminishing adhesive returns of sticker transference.


They really should change the stickers don't you think? What's to stop someone from just wearing their sticker from the previous election and claim that they voted this year when they actually didn't? The government should encourage people to vote every year. The sticker situation is just way too corruptible.

Here's a video I like. Lots of people hate Peanuts. I sure don't. I love those kids. It's actually kind of reminds me of the movie, Kids. Where are the adults? Anyway, this clip is great because it not only addresses the election, but it also discusses two other things that have been on my mind lately -- religious political policy and "Treehouse of Horror XIX." Anybody catch the Halloween Simpsons yet?




Yeah... I forgot to resize that video. You may need to squint.

Oh what the heck. Here's a favorite clip from this year's special. It's not The Great (Grand) Pumpkin stuff, but it's pretty good. AND REALLY GRUESOME!

the true meaning of halloween

Usually I don't follow the Onion News Network. I find them pretty unreliable. I swear, half the time it's like a total joke. However, in the current throes of Slutoween, mancandy and non-pagan parties; I've found that the following news brief is DEAD ON.


In The Know: Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized?

Thanks to Jeff (of all people) for sending this along. Also, I just posted a recent and time-consuming post about the Halloween cd. Don't let it get buried in the new post! Scroll down and read that one too.

it's here!

Well, Halloween is here. It's today. Not a moment too soon to finish up this year's Halloween cd. J.R. or I will be glad to burn you a copy, but if you don't want to deal with us directly, feel free to download all the songs below. You can even NOT download some of the songs you may not want. However, I will explain why you SHOULD download each and every track and blast it all day today (and maybe tomorrow too, you know, for the Mexican Dia de los Muertos (and all during the Christmas holidays when it's just too Yuley)).


1. "Date With the Night" by Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Everybody knows "Maps," but YYY has far less of a feminine side. The cd opens pumped and ready to dress the night up. Good song to play with friends before trolling around on Halloween.

2. "Disturbia" by Rhianna
This is the same chick who sings "Umbrella" right? Well this one is way better. It's also better than that Shia LaBeouf movie.

3. "Evil and a Heathen" by Franz Ferdinand
I met these guys once. I made the mistake of referring to their music as a throwback to 80s dance music. He was like "why does everyone always say that? We want people to dance, but we throw back way farther than the 80s." Anyway, he's probably right. It's like dance rock sorta. Plus their lyrics tend to be pretty off the wall. This one gets ya hoppin.'

4. "Vampires Will Never Hurt You" by My Chemical Romance
I was a bigger fan of "I'm Not Okay (I Promise)" and "Helena" than some of their recent stuff, but they know you can't go wrong with the classic theme of vampires.

5. "Rock the Night" by Europe
What party would be complete without Europe? Hot Rod has sort of messed and blessed my life.

6. "Walking With a Ghost" by The White Stripes
This is actually a Tegan and Sara cover. I thought I liked the original better, but I like how much fun Jack has with this one.

7. "Is It Scary?" by Michael Jackson
This song came out during one of Michael Jackson's bad publicity years. It's no "Thriller," but it beats hearing "Thriller" for the 500th time. Plus it's got the added subtext into Michael's psyche during a troubled time.

8. "Back In Flesh" by Wall of Voodoo
Too many people don't remember the 80s like I do. It was filled with weird stuff like this. Still, maybe you won't like it, but try to appreciate the way things were expressed back then. It's good weird, and a little deep too.

9. "Children of the Night" by NosfeROYtu
This is actually J.R.'s song that he composed in Garageband. It samples a little Dracula. It's legit spooky.

10. "Chill Factory" by Jondis and Thom Yorke
Here's my Garageband contribution. I stole some Radiohead vocals from their song called "The Reckoner."

11. "City of Delusion" by Muse
I fought for the inclusion of this song because it's Muse and Muse totally reigns. Nothing else needs to be said.

12. "Kingdom of Doom" by The Good, the Bad & the Queen
This band is from the Blur and Gorillaz guy. Some people put out new albums, he puts out new bands. Very British. It's sort of a protest, but the feel of it is very graveyard walky.

13. "Witchcraft" by Wolfmother
Obligatory Halloween air guitar song.

14. "Things That Scare Me" by Neko Case
Neko's got a voice made for Halloween.

15. "She's Lost Control" by Joy Division
Joy Division excel in bleakness. When you first hear the song you may think it's boring, but after a while the driving beat really riles you up. It's like fun despair.

16. "Children of the Grave" by Black Sabbath
Rock!

17. "Headhunter" by Front 242
Here's a blast from the past. This was popular in the early 90s I believe. If grunge didn't hit this sort of industrial dance sound would have been much bigger I think. It's almost a weird concept to have angry dance songs, but this one is mighty effective. Totally galvanizing.

18. "Mad World" by Michael Andrews
Here's another cover. You've seen Donnie Darko right? The movie sort of made this Tears for Fears song famous again. The movie version did a good job of showcasing the bleak lyrics which the original never did.

19. "The Beginning Is the End Is the Beginning" by Smashing Pumpkins
If you've seen the trailer for Watchmen, you know this song. Since the movie's coming out we had to put it on. Since it's titled the way it is, it closes the cd. Good thing it's so awesome.

Anyway, pop these into the 'ol iPod and enjoy. Oh and btw, we slipped in some great dialogue from 1408, Blacula, Poltergeist, Jeepers Creepers and Shaun of the Dead.

cyber stalking slaughter on center!