the fours of july

July has come and gone and I haven't done a good job of chronicling this pretty decent summer. We all know that July holds a crucial spot as the middle summer month as well as the source of the holy triumvirate of holidays: the 4th of July, the 14th of July and the 24th of July.

Before I get into the fours of July, now may be a good time to post some old nightswimming pics from the June full moon. Apparently nightswimming on the first official full moon of summer is a holiday now. Well, now you know. Spread it!


I don't have any pictures of the 4th of July. They wouldn't let me take my camera into the theater. Maria and I saw Live Free or Die Hard, Transformers and Ratatouille.

Die Hard was adequate. Seems like most people I've talked to have loved it, but I didn't get quite the same thrill out of it I think. The problem may have been that the 21st century villain they got was way too bland. What would it take to bring Alan Rickman back, huh? I mean besides actually resurrecting his character.
I quite liked Transformers in the moment, but the more I think about it, the more I'm annoyed with it. It spent tons of precious time introducing ultra-lame unnecessary characters like the hot hacker chick and the dorks in the secret government agency. Even the main love interest wasn't worth much. My biggest complaint, though, is the lameness of the robots themselves. Yeah, I know they looked cool (they really did), but these things are supposed to be far superior to us. Why did they talk and act like animal actors? They were just robots. They weren't characters in the least bit. For my money, go rent the 1986 Transformers: The Movie (and listen to my commentary of it found right here and here).

Of course my favorite part of both movies was when one of the characters was like, "There's only one hacker on Earth who can save us now..."and then it cuts to some super nerd who lives with his mom. This same scene happened in BOTH movies. The joke may have been funny like 15 years ago, but it was embarrassing to see it within a 24-hour period.

Ratatouille was yawningly brilliant. It was really really good, but I already knew it would be. I'll only say that the alien abduction short at the beginning had both me and Maria crying because we were laughing so hard. We actually had to stifle our laugher, though, because the theater was filled with tired mothers and strollers. Funniest thing I've seen this year and we were the only ones in the sold-out theater laughing.

The 14th was a real groovy time. I feel the 14th is rapidly gaining acceptance. We listened to a lot of Spanish brass band and told a lot of Chuck Norris lore. Still my favorite Chuck Norris story is that he was born in a log cabin he built with his own hands. As promised, here are some photos:

Most of the action was spent on our hardly-seen heli-pad

Here's the view of the slip 'n slide from the heli-pad. Also, Jonny and Ashlie came by! Notice they brought Cafe Rio. Cafe Rio was extremely popular this 14th of JulyIf you can read that warning sign, it's incredibly funny.I got this welt from my bout of fun.

Here's a vid of Dre mastering the plastic with a cartwheel:



I didn't have my camera on the 24th, but as from what I remember Maria and I went to a parade and then ate ourselves silly.

so i know this girl named stephanie

... and I misplaced her email that had her Simpsons avatar in it. But I found it today and so here's the fuller family pic:


See if you can find the new girl.

simpsons summer boogie!

So the Simpsons movie comes out this weekend. The other day I had a waking nightmare that I went to the theater and accidentally bought tickets tothe Catherine Zeta-Jones/Aaron Eckhart charmer No Reservations, instead. *Shudder*

Anyway, here's a grand group photo of much of the whole gang. See if you can find Me, Maria, Rhett, Dre, Regan, Laura, Kaila, Joe and Scott.

the pure-blood muggle song

I finally finished the fifth Harry Potter book a few hours ago. It was later than I had hoped. I wanted to get it done before the movie came out and now I only have 22 hours to read the sixth book before the new book comes out. Then I can spend the next day reading that one. I still wouldn't do it because I'm a fan. I'm just really really scared that I'll hear too many spoilers before I actually get there.

For those of you who haven't read the fifth book, the big event happens on page 806.

As I've already mentioned, I'm getting back into the whole Harry Potter thing to pretty much get down with the rest of the crowd. I am (possibly unnecessarily) critical of the whole thing. My HP grudge could possibly come from several sources. I've always found the universe of HP strangely lopsided. Magic exists in overflowing abundance, but without a sort of actual religious direction, it seems kind of chaotic. Also, magic loses its charm when used so very much. These people cast spells to have things to sit on. Talk about lazy! They're all one step away from becoming a part of the magical Matrix. Most of the characters seem pretty caricature-y more than anything. At least Voldemort is naturally sinister, but just about every other antagonist that comes along has the villainous subtlety of Elmer Fudd. I'm hoping that for the sixth book Fudge, Lucius, Draco, Draco's thugs and whatever other minor villains who pop up will at least carry enough depth to them to actually be taken seriously as a people before Rowling paints the villain tag on them. And personally, if Harry Potter actually went to my school, I probably wouldn't hang out with him. He just doesn't seem like a very fun kid to hang out with.

Anyway, and I'm serious when I say this, I think the biggest reason I have a grudge against Harry Potter is because his name is a combination of Harry Morgan and Sherman Potter. M*A*S*H fans know that Harry Morgan played Col. Sherman Potter at the start of the fourth season. Not only was Col. Potter just about my least favorite character in the series, but his appearance marked a crucial turning point in the show; spurning its brilliant humor from the first three seasons. Strangely, M*A*S*H carried on for seven more years, winning tons of awards and becoming the most-watched show at the height of its mediocrity. Anyway, Harry Potter directly reminds me of that whole sitch. Ever since I was a kid I totally dug the whole fantasy setting, mythical creatures and a tiny dash of the occult. Then along comes this watered down version of the dark arts and the masses jump on board. It's just like all those weak seasons of M*A*S*H.

As long as we're talking about names, what's up with the name "Hogwarts" anyway? Would you like to go to school with such a name? I'm not just nitpicking for the fun of it, actually. I'm just wondering if anybody knows where that name came from. I find the name very interesting based on a sequence of dialogue found in the movie Labyrinth. David Bowie calls the troll named Hoggle "Hedgewart" and then Jennifer Connelly corrects him by saying that his name is "Hogwart" (also incorrect). Could this be where J.K. Rowling got the name?

So I just have to say it first, before anybody gets their hands on the new book. I think that the Durselys are going to save the day in the end. Like, seriously, Harry is going to be battling Voldemort and the Dursleys are going to storm into the room and knock You-Know-Who over with the back of the door. It's either that or Draco will realize suddenly that it's not too late for him to not be a total D.B. and he and Harry will cross their wand streams sending Voldemort back through some weird dimensional door.

hopefully i'll see you all again someday

I'm just about to attempt to transfer to another server. I'm not sure if it will work or not. I'm pretty nervous. If things don't work out, I might switch my blog over to the blogspot URL of jonmadsen.blogspot.com. Of course if things don't work, then there's no way anybody would be able to read this to find out where they're supposed to be reading it at. Arrggh! Anyway, it's been nice knowing you all.

is the world ready for... brokenwaterman?

Remember how last week I mentioned that my water broke when I was taking a shower? Well, I mean the hot water heater in my house started leaking and needed to be shut off. And then a couple of days later I went to a restaurant and the sink tap came off in my hand. So, yeah, yesterday I couldn't quite get the hot water in the sink at work turned off, so I had the maintanence guy check it out and the handle came off in HIS hand. I'm preparing to wreak havoc on the world. I'm gonna break all water, everywhere. Not since the days of Noah will Earth see so many problems with water works.

saturday the 14th strikes back strikes back

I keep forgetting to tell everybody that in the hustle and bustle of the 4th of July and the 24th of July, to not forget about the 14th of July. The 14th of July is the day we celebrate the independence of the street we live on. To celebrate there will be an outdoor party of sorts at my house. It's bring your own fast food and/or pizza. We're gonna have a running water hose (and possibly slip 'n slide on the curvy lawn), Guitar Hero, maybe some Bang, uh... iPod music maybe, free non-alcholic non-carbonated non-sugar drinks... Anyway, just come. I'm guessing around 4 or 5ish. Call or email for directions.

i wanna pop pt. 2 (temple of doom)

So the first 2007 episode of The World Series of Pop Culture was on last night. For those of you who don't remember deep into my past, please read here and here and here.

I'm sorry to say that, like many sequels, I felt slightly humiliated afterwards. I had a much harder time with a few of the questions. Of course pop culture contains too broad of a spectrum. Being an expert in pop culture is like being an expert in science. In our society, we have metaphysicists, rocket scientists, chemists, astronomers, psychiatrists, podiatrists, etc; but we don't have too many people with the title "expert in science." Even the greatest pop culture affecianadoes get a perfume commercial curveball thrown at them every once in a while.

I could tell that, however, I'm losing much of my prowess. I may need to pass the torch to the younger people I watched the show with. Maria, Rhett and Dre patiently watched the show with me; faithfully abiding by my rule that they couldn't answer the questions until I first informed them that I had an answer myself. The first two teams in the competition were named "Fat Guys in Little Coats" and "Motherboy." Dre immediately got the Arrested Development reference of Motherboy, which was shamefully lost on the rest of us. Bad sign for me, but I am proud of Dre.

Anyway, the first category in the game was something about 2006 celebrity squabbles. Immediately I knew this was off to a bad start since I'm not much of a subscriber of current celebrity gossip in the world of pop culture. I only missed one question this round. It had to do with one of the Grey's Anatomy stars in the recent feud I constantly hear about, but don't much care for. The answer was T.R. Knight. I don't know who that is. Unfortunately, the "Fat Guys" contestant knew the answer. I proudly answered "Nas" to the question regarding Jay-Z's big beef, while the Motherboy contestant didn't know. I love that old song "If I Ruled the World." Don't you? The following answers both I and the contestants answered correctly:

Rosie O'Donnell
Ryan Seacrest
Lindsay Lohan
Kanye West

Round 2: Scary Movies. A movie synopsis was given and the contestants had to name the movie being described. The contestants and I answered all six questions correctly:

The Ring
Child's Play
Amityville Horror (both Maria and Rhett had confident different guesses, but I pulled this one out of nowhere without ever actually seeing it because the "1979" was one of the clues and I knew Poltergeist was an 80s flick)
The Fly
28 Days Later
Jacob's Ladder

This round then went to the speed round. It required that one contestant had to name a movie nominated for the "Best Animated Film" Academy Award. The next contestant then had to name another one and so on until someone draws a blank or incorrectly answers. This one was sort of harder to gauge because if I were in their shoes I know that kind of pressure would really get to me. I successfully wrote down the following before the round came to an end:

Finding Nemo
Cars
Monsters Inc.
Shrek
The Incredibles
Ice Age

If I actually did get the opportunity to be a part of the show, the speed round would kill me.

Round 3: Jingle All the Way. This round had to do with commercial jingles. I missed TWO on this round. Horrible. Commercials shouldn't have anything to do with this competition anyway. One question had to do with some kind of perfume. The contestant, Rhett and I all guessed "White Diamonds," but the answer was "Anjelie" or something. The other question I missed had to do with Darius Rucker appearing in a Burger King ad. This is what separates me from a professional pop culture guru. I don't care for Darius Rucker or Burger King, so there's no way to know the answer that question. A more professional pop culture expert would still study that which he loathes. Correct answers for this round all around:

Big Red
Mounds
Justin Timberlake (I guess he lent his voice to McDonald's. It was just a guess)
Nair

This round also had a lightning round -- an easier one. The object was to name as many characters from the pilot episode of Lost as possible. I aced this by naming all of these before the contestants:

Jack
Sawyer
Kate
Walt
Michael
Boone
Shannon
Sayid
Locke
Jin
Sun
Charlie
Claire

One contestant said "Hurley" before I had a chance to write him down. Maria also correctly got "Rose." The only one nobody got was I think the name of the U.S. marshall who died a couple of episodes later.

Round 4: something to do with insanity. This round featured lyrics from songs that have a loose connection with mental illness and the contestants were required to name the song. I missed "Maniac" by Michael Sembello. I was and am quite ashamed. For some reason the opening lyrics to the song got me thinking of "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey. The Fat Guy missed that one as well, but the Motherboy contestant answered correctly. Other correct answers from this round:

"Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley
"I Wanna Be Sedated" by The Ramones
"Basketcase" by Green Day

Motherboy won the game in that round, which made me happy. Fat Guys in Little Suits were pretty goobery and had a stupid never-very-funny joke name. Motherboy made pop culturists at least look a little cool.

The episode we watched had one more game, this time between a team called "White Russians" and a team called "Remo Leen Teen Teen." The Remo team, I think, was three siblings. Looking over my notes I realize I actually only missed one question this whole game, but I'm pretty sure Remo Leen Teen Teen didn't even miss one. The question I missed was in the first round which had to do with Quentin Tarantino movies. It had to do with some actor who played somebody in True Romance (which isn't entirely a Tarantino movie). Anway, I guessed Eric Stoltz, but the correct answer was apparently Brad Pitt. Here are the correct answers for this particular first round. Can you come up with the questions? C'mon, let's make it fun. Remember the category is "Quentin Tarantino Movies."

his ear
Royale with cheese
a samurai sword
Black Mamba
Tim Roth (I amazingly pulled this name out of my head despite never actually seeing Reservoir Dogs (but I did read the screenplay))

Round 2: pop hits of the 80s. Here are the correct answers to some of the 80s lyrics mentioned:

"Love is a Battlefield"
"When Doves Cry"
"Every Little Thing She Does is Magic"
"Rock the Casbah"

Round 3: physical challenge. An actor and year were given and the contestants had to identify the movie in which the actor had to undergo some kind of crazy physical change to suit their character. Here are the correct movies. See if you can identify the actor or actress in each question that had to shape up, make up or fatten up for each film.

Terminator 2
Frida
American History X
Full Metal Jacket
Best in Show (this particular one involved orthodontic devices)

Remo Leen Teen Teen seems like quite a group to beat. I will be watching them with great interest (and not just because one of them looks like Apache Chief from Superfriends).

I'm sad to not be doing this, but I'm holding out for next year.

i break things

Over the weekend our hot water heater started leaking and as a result our cooler started pumping in mildew air. The hot water needed to be shut off, but our shower is one of those single knob thingies connected straight to the water heater. As a result I can't even take a cold shower if I wanted to. Landlord Roger says he couldn't get a plumber to come under warranty until tomorrow morning. I'll bet money that he only just called a plumber after I called him and left a message wondering what the status of getting a plumber this morning like he said he would on Friday.

This past Saturday I broke new ground in white trashiness by bathing in my backyard with a hose.

Today, I came into work to discover that my Motion project I tried to save over the weekend failed to do so. So I decided to export it into a Quicktime movie once more. After an hour of the computer working on it, the display said it still had three hours to complete the task. I asked my friend at work Steve how long it takes to export a one-minute Motion project. "It depends," he said. I asked if it usually takes four hours. "Never," he said. I then asked him why it was behaving the way it was. "Because you broke it I guess," he said. "That's what you do. You break things."

He was being sarcastic, but had a point. I've always wanted to be the one to make things better. It'd be nice to be someone who could naturally fix things. Instead I have the super power of being able to break things automatically. I suppose I can't be a superhero with this power. I can really only be a villain.

So a few of us went to lunch at the Smokehouse restaurant. I was surprised to find that they had sinks right in the dining area, so we all washed our hands. When I turned on the hot water, the handle came off in my hand.

xxx - kelly wilkinson

an old friend from forever ago turned 30 today. he was in third grade with me. i remember it was funny that he was born 07/07/77. anyway, just something i remember. haven't spoken to him since i was 8.

for those of you sick of reading

Many people know that I started a genuine podcast a while ago. Check out the new link on the right side of the page! Like blogs, there will be a time that everyone on Earth will have a podcast, so I figured I may as well get a jump on things.

My particular podcast is strangely informative, addicting and easy to use. Right now it's tentatively known as "The Jon Madsen Movie Commentary Podcast" (although I'm considering changing the title to "The Vomitary"). As you can guess, for each podcast episode, I (and possibly a couple of guests) watch a movie while commenting on it. That means that in order to authentically enjoy my podcast, you should watch the movie dvd while you listen to me comment about the movie on mp3.

So here's the deal. I'm starting a blog to correspond with the podcast which can be found at www.jonsmoviecommentary.blogspot.com. For those of you who subscribe to RSS feeds, you can go to the podcast feed right here. If any of you use iTunes, go here. You can subscribe and the podcast will automatically download right to your computer. So get on it! Also, go ahead and click here to vote for me on Podcast Alley. Podcast Alley is a sort of podcast directory. The more votes the JMMCP gets, the more likely people will check it out. So vote away!

Btw, I've already completed several completed episodes, so feel free to head straight here and catch up.

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pretty disappointing results i think

77% GeekMingle² - Free Online Dating

very icky... as in sick... in a good way

I think this may be my first post by request. J.R. emailed me and admonished me for not doing a review of the new White Stripes album. Admon taken. Here we go. And begin.

As usual, I'll just be doing it by track listing.

1. Icky Thump
We've all heard this one, so we know how good it is. If you're reading this right now and haven't actually heard it, I'm really surprised. Who are you? How did you discover my blog? Please comment. Anyway, I heard Jack used a synthesizer for some of that weird trilly instrumental work between verses. That was strange to type. Even though I love synth more than anybody in the world, it's the last thing any real White Stripes fan would expect from them. I guess it helps to know that it's some kind of relic synthesizer from the 40s. I suppose it's sort of a dream come true for me: White Stripes AND synths. Maybe next year Depeche Mode will go all acoustic. Oh well, who can even tell it's a synthesizer; and more importantly, the sound isn't heard on subsequent songs anyway. The Stripes have a tendancy to do that. When "Blue Orchid" came out I was ecstatic about the sound. It was the first track on the last album, but the rest of the cd was completely different. Ok, enough about the song everybody should have heard by now anyway.

2. You Don't Know What Love Is (You Just Do As You're Told)

Verrrry Country. Jack lives in Nashville now apparently and you can hear it on this album. He seems a bit obviously down on love here. I think he can be very poignant with his anti-love songs. It helps that he writes very poignant love songs too. Seeing both sides of his thoughts on love actually buoy the overall meanings. I wouldn't like the love songs as much without the anti-love songs and vice-versa. The twang in this one is fun, but the guitar gets a bit tired. Singing along is great on this one and if anything actually gets me into country music, this is it.

3. 300 MPH Torrential Outpour Blues

I think this sounds like a good deep track from White Blood Cells. They have a really good heavy/soft contrast goin.' The steady groove beat complimented with the light rock riff throughout keeping my intense interest shows that Jack has just about every form of musical control

4. The Conquest

This one is probably the most different album track I've heard. I believe it's a cover, but I don't happen to have my liner notes with me right now. A few weeks ago Corey O'brien played a short interview with Jack where he discussed why he chose to include this song and the importance of its meaning. I caught the last ten seconds, so I still have no idea. Oh well, Jack's obviously relishing in the the brilliant Mexican horn section. This song sounds like it would fit in very well on the Kill Bill soundtrack. That's a compliment. Besides the horns, it's straight-up White Stripes minimalism. It actually sounds a lot like "I Think I Smell a Rat" of White Blood Cells again. Jack does a wonderful job of channeling more energy into these minimalist odes since he knows there's more room for it.

5. Bone Broke

This will be my favorite song six months from now. This is exactly what Jack was talkin' about when he said the new album would be their hardest yet. Strangely, most of the abrasiveness is achieved through his voice alone.

6. Prickly Thorn But Sweetly Worn

Welcome to the Renaissance Faire! This one didn't really give me enough time to really revel in "Bone Broke," but fortunately both songs are very cool for what they actually are. This song sort of reminds me of the video for "Safety Dance." Actually if someone were to dub in this song over the "Safety Dance" video, that old 80s video would be way better.

7. St. Andrew (This Battle Is In The Air)

I actually thought this was just the end of track

6. They are connected though. I guess it's the White Stripes' "Need You Tonight/Mediate." The little rap is a bit strange. I'm not sure who does it. Don't have my liner notes.

8. Little Cream Soda

The intro guitar is a bit tired until the bass (or at least basser parts of the guitar) comes in with Jack's vocals. For some reason, the same initial guitar refrain suddenly becomes a part of the groove when it returns. One thing this album seems to do better than the last one is instill a sense of relentlessness.

9. Rag and Bone

Rag and bone! Rag and bone! I'll be honest. According to me, this song sounds A LOT like "Hot For Teacher." That is no insult. Not at all. Meg and Jack's theatrical dialogue throughout is totally delicious. Meg almost, ALMOST sounds like she's coming up on her tranquilizers. Listen for her snaky whisper say "This fits me perfect!" Jack does a better Jesse Jackson than Jesse Jackson. Speaking of relentless, "Rag and Bone" leaves "Little Cream Soda" in the dust.

10. I'm Slowly Turning Into You

Hmmm. Maybe this cd isn't as country as I originally thought. Is that a Beatles organ? Heavily overdubbed voices? Swiping stereo panning? This is very unique for the White Stripes -- an extensively produced noisefest. It's not like Jack is completely isolated in his own rulebook, but when he changes things up, they work.

11. A Martyr For My Love For You

"Dust In the Wind." Are there ANY actual love songs on the album? Man, this one's menacing.

12. Catch Hell Blues

Straight blues with some kind of psycho arpeggio riffs deadly set to convert any non-blues believers. Mission accomplished.

13. Effect & Cause

Ahh, back to country. They played this on Conan a day before the cd came out. I loved seeing them milk so much entertainment out of this simple acoustic tune. Once again we've got Jack venting about relationships. Makes me wonder if marriage to a Brazillian model has its share of communication and (based on this song) logic issues. Ahh. The light-heartedness of it all is a wonderful cleansing sorbet to finish the album.

My final grade:

NINE THUMBS UP.

In other White Stripes news I read today on the White Stripes site that Cold War Kids will be opening their upcoming tour. This leaves me giddy as all get out considering Robbers & Cowards was probably the best album I bought all year up to the point I picked up Icky Thump. I heard that The Raconteurs would possibly be the opening act, but I imagine that would be physically impossible for Jack to pull off (way cool though). Anyway, with Cold War Kids on the bill, this could be shaping up to be the best concert ever. I've seen some pretty sweet shows in the past: Depeche Mode '94, Oingo Boingo '95, Weezer '95, The Cure '04... but here's hopin.' Of course this is different from my standard synth concert taste... or is it?

and knowing is half the battle

Apparently Jimmy Chunga's real name is Brett Smith. The bitter blowhards on X96 revealed it this morning.

muggle racing against time

The new Harry Potter movie opens in a little more than a week. I've never been much of a fan, but especially after viewing the last two movies, I know that I won't be able to really enjoy this social phenomenon without reading the books. The problem of course is that the books are longer than scripture (and comparing them to scripture is fitting for many would-be-witches around the world). I've burned several bridges by borrowing Harry Potter books and not giving them back for years at a time because I'm borderline illiterate (which I've previously mentioned). Hopefully I'll be able to get through the fifth one, which was graciously borrowed from Reagan (I'd link to her if she had a blog, but I don't think she does).

I'm still in a quandry though. If I really want to enjoy the series I may have to wade through the sixth one before the seventh one comes out. I think it comes out within a week of the fifth movie. Since the seventh is supposedly the final book, I doubt the final ending will be properly kept from me before I get around to reading it ten years from now. I have three options: 1) hurry and get them all done to achieve maximum enjoyment and minimal spoilers, 2) read them at my usual slow pace and hope they're enjoyable long after everybody talks about them for years, 3) just wait for all the movies, since there's a better chance they all come out before I read all the books. Obviously the first option is the best, but should I really do that when I don't even consider myself a fan in the first place? If anything, I want to read them all because I'm a big believer in cultural events. It may be bad to say, but I do some things because I enjoy the social party that comes with them. I didn't watch Friends so much because I thought it was so funny (even though it often was). I mostly watched it because sometimes it's fun to be plugged into phenomenons that touch millions of people. This is opposed to Simpsons, Star Wars and ABBA; all things that are/were incredibly popular, but that I legitimately enjoy.

Anyway, just sayin' I want to be one of you, I really do. It's just that these books are like War and Peace up in here yo.

flossed horizon

I ran out of floss a couple of days ago. I don't know how many years it took, but it finally happened. I remember yonks ago on The Arsenio Hall Show, Arsenio did a monologue about how nobody ever gets to the end of their floss. I don't remember anybody laughing. I'm sure they all just realized that Arsenio probably doesn't floss as much as he probably should.

the saddest day of the year

Today is the Summer Solstice. It's the saddest day of the year because from now on, all the days are going to get shorter.

Some may say, "Hey! Since the sun is out longer, doesn't that make it a happy day?"

But then all that knowledge brings is the realization that there is only ONE happy day in the whole year, which is very very sad. Sorry everyone. Try not to get a sunburn while you're hangin' your heads.

i read a book!

Bright Lights, Big City, by Jay McInerney. Been meaning to read it for a long time. One of the only novels ever to be written in second person. It started off pretty strong, but kind of petered out toward the middle. I sort of wish the whole book was more like the opening sequence which was fairly trippy. Chuck Klosterman once asked the question "Which do you consider a higher form of art: the riff from "Barracuda" or the opening statement from Bright Lights, Big City?" There is a good sequence near the middle that paints a claustrophobic nightmare of a horrible work day.

Anyway, I hope this helps cure my recent illiteracy.

enz of an era

I should talk about music more. I listen to music nearly all the time, but I hardly ever talk about it with people because we use music as background noise for our conversations and it's long past the time of high school when we formed most of our musical opinions anyway. Maybe, during the television summer repeats (and no Rockstar: INXS or Supernova), now would be a good time to start a pop music dialogue. Maybe this could be the first in a series.

What musical act's work do you think I relate to the most?

If you said Depeche Mode... you'd be wrong. They've got a ton of relatable stuff out there. Every song is broadly about life, love and lust. Officially, my favorite song ever is "Halo." They also have some unspoken gems. "The Bottom Line" is an obsessive love song with impact every bit as powerful as "Every Breath You Take." Yes, they come very, very close and on some days Depeche Mode would be the right answer, but not today.

The White Stripes is a pretty good guess too. Where Depeche Mode put the the emotional emphasis on coldness through programmed blips and confident lyrical negativism, The White Stripes re-injected popular music with the wondrous use of blues. There's playing loud and wailing to get your point across, then there's playing loud and wailing with soul. There's something I can't quite explain about the exuberance I have with screeching along to the words while not just head-banging, but bopping to the syncopated beat. Needless to say, I'm very excited that The White Stripes are coming, but they're not who I'm thinking about right now.

The musical act I most relate to, at least today, is very obviously Split Enz. They aren't some underground indie phenomenon or anything. Unfortunately, they don't exist as a band anymore. They're actually quite old -- late 70s, early 80s. They had some brilliantly whimsical pop delight tinged with a sort of cynicism-in-denial.

Growing up I had heard a couple of their songs, but I didn't really get into them until I went on my mission to New Zealand. On the way over, one of the in-flight audio channels was playing a little special on Tim and Neil Finn -- the two brothers in the band. I learned that they were actually from New Zealand and the show played me a few clips that were in my head my whole stay there. On the way out of the country I picked up a few Split Enz cds that I still keep close today.

I started thinking of them more recently when we were all driving to Lagoon. I got out my iPod and attempted to find the most Lagoony music. I came up with Split Enz because lots of their music sounds like carnival music. This is the case especially with songs like "My Mistake." The music sounds like a marching band on a carousel. The words are simply self-deprecating.

I went out to see if I could fall in love again
That was my mistake
That was my mistake
I went out to see if I could raise a laugh again
That was my mistake
That was my mistake

You may have heard a couple of their new wave pop hits from the early 80s. Their most famous was probably "I Got You." That's the one that's really monotone during the verses, but then the chorus kicks up with the gleeful chant "I don't know why sometimes I get frightened!" Pearl Jam covered this one. It's sort of about obsessive love (again, like "Every Breath You Take").

Another semi-hit from them with a very similar gumshoe down-beat sound is "One Step Ahead," which holds a place in my heart as the only song I really sat down and learned on the guitar. Just like "I Got You" the song starts off steady and calm but then builds to a subtle anxiety attack both musically and vocally. It's also famous for one band member's use of a forward moonwalk in the song's video a couple of years before Michael Jackson made the moonwalk famous.

When they wanted to, they sometimes dropped the upbeat musical mask. The tragic song "Charlie" seems to be about a brute pleading forgiveness from the victim of his horrendous and possibly fatal abuse. "The Devil You Know" seems to be about the futility of doing good in the modern world. Both songs employ sad, desperate instrumentation.

For the most part though, they were a pop band. I've only noticed their miserable side from many many listens. There could be many reasons for all the negativity. They never really achieved huge mainstream success. For a short period they actually had to go on the dole. Perhaps their moving from New Zealand to Australia to England never really got rid of their sealocked cabin fever.

I'm probably reading too much into it. Just listen to "I See Red" and "History Never Repeats." Both are about anger over failed love affairs. A minority would hear them as tragedy. Most would hear them as comedy.

It wasn't all pretense and veiled gloom. One of their very last songs was a straight-up beauty of a ballad called "Message To My Girl." I'd reprint the lyrics, but they'd sound too cheesy without Neil Finn's harmonious and simple piano and strings. I suppose it was telling of the band's future. Neil formed the pretty successful Crowded House. You may remember them as the guys who sang the "hey now hey now don't dream it's over" song. I'll always relate Crowded House with being a band that Parker Lewis buys concert tickets for in that old tv show (anyone remember Parker Lewis Can't Lose?). Neil's brother Tim joined crowded house from time to time inbetween his solo projects. Strangely, a couple of years ago, the last drummer for Split Enz committed suicide.

I would recommend picking up the Split Enz 2-cd greatest hits compilation called Spellbound. The title is very strange considering the band has a song called "Spellbound" but it doesn't actually appear on the collection (maybe the record company was going for a Doors sort of mystique). Or I guess I could just burn you some really good songs. If you feel like sampling a bit, listen to all the tracks I've mentioned above and also "Six Months in a Leaky Boat," "Poor Boy," "Stuff and Nonsense," "Walk Away" and "I Hope I Never."

*sigh* It would have been really great to see them live.

lagoon '07 (part 1 of many)

We went to Lagoon for Maria's birthday. No sense in describing it all, so here are some pics and vids. We got season passes, so I imagine there will be more to talk about later.

8 reasons why fantastic 4: rise of the silver surfer will be the absolute hottest movie sequel this summer!

8. Unlike Spiderman 3, Pirates of the Carribbean: At World's End, Ocean's 13, The Bourne Ultimatum and Shrek the Third; this film is the first sequel rather than the second and will have that much less diminishment from the original.

7. Jessica Alba is in it and she is SMOKIN' HOT ! ! ! ! ! ... actually, I don't really think she's that pretty and I don't understand her appeal, but I guess I can't argue with the masses.

6. Said with a quick schwa it sounds like FUN-tastic 4.

5. Three Spiderman movies give you merely three Spidermen, but only two Fantastic 4 films give you eight Fantastic 4s!

4. The incredible Michael McCusker did the editing! Click here for his imdb page.

3. Not every film made in Hollywood has the universe's second-best surfer!

2. Morpheus from The Matrix is in this! Well, not Morpheus, but the guy who played him. Well, the voice of the guy who played Morpheus is in it anyway.

1. It's about time someone made a live-action, but more cartoony version of The Incredibles... again.

Seriously though, I'll probably see this when it comes out even though I never saw the first one.

I sort of miss doing the 8 lists. Did you know that the guy from City Weekly does this thing called "The Ocho?" That guy totally ripped me off! Some of my lists are found here. Most aren't that good.

teaser

xxx - 1977-2007

Happy 30th birthday Star Wars!

Here's hoping for 30 more years of continuous new Star Wars product! Wait... no... never mind.

the long comment about lost that i put on abel's blog that i may as well post here because it's really long and it looks like i update my blog more

Read Abel's post.
http://www.abelkeogh.com/blog/index.php/?p=340

i’m proud to say that i called out the flash-forward very early on — fortunately before he mentioned his father’s alive-ness. i actually had to assume it was a flashback as the show went on strictly because of jack’s dad’s references. of course, this can ultimately be explained in one of two ways: 1) he’s dead but jack still refers to him being drunk in heaven or hell or wherever he is or 2) jack’s dad came back to life and got his old job back at the hospital. i wouldn’t put resurrection past the creators of lost, but i would question a world that just goes back to normal after something like that happening.

the flash forward was a fabulous idea in my opinion, although it actually will be looked upon in the future as a major lost ‘jumped the shark’ moment. it does frighten me though. there is a chance that they all get off relatively early in the remaining three seasons and much of the rest of the story is trying to answer the questions without actually being on the island. that sounds a lot more boring to me. if they go that route they better have some wicked phenomenal stories to actually bother leaving the island. the scenery alone would be worth missing.

i’m also happy to say that i knew that bernard, sayid and jin weren’t shot. if other people didn’t call it as well i blame the creators’ insinuation that five people would die by the end of the season. i have no doubt, abel, that the creators told you (i’m not sure where they told you; i only know that you told me) about the five deaths to make the three shots offscreen more probable.

i think locke and ben are right about naomi. i think she’s bad. that’s normal for me, though. whenever someone is presented as good i employ self-reverse psychology and assume the opposite and vice versa. this still doesn’t mean i don’t still hate locke. i hate locke because i was really gearing up for sawyer’s redemption and locke steered him back to dirty vengeance. now sawyer hit the point of no return by wasting a surrendering… i forgot his name. maybe what’s his name had it coming and maybe he still had something up his sleeve and needed to die, but sawyer’s long gone and that makes me sad. and i know i know it was sawyer’s decision to adversely affect both guys. i’m just saying it was locke’s decision to adversely affect sawyer.

yeah, i bet it’s ben’s funeral. there is a really awesome screengrab of the news clipping in jack’s hand on losteastereggs.blogspot.com. maybe i need to start watching lost in hd. it shows that the clipping is indeed real and details the death of someone with the first name starting with j and maybe the last name ending with antham. i guess there’s this philosopher from the 16th century named jeremy bantham. that may be another one of ben’s names or something and it would go well with john locke’s philosopher name.

crap. this is long. i should’ve just put all this on my blog. maybe i will.

they will be mine... oh yes

Usually rock shows are announced on the radio a few days before the Saturday they go on sale. The Blaze dj who mentioned the White Stripes coming to Utah may have jumped the gun since tickets apparently don't go on sale until June 2nd. I think he said they're coming on like September 12th or something.

This is huge.

Last month the White Stripes replaced New Order as the current band I most want to see live before I die (New Order broke up). As a result, Maria and I are getting tickets (she actually doesn't know yet (hopefully she won't mind part of her birthday devoted to buying them)).

Does anyone else want to come? Many of you aren't fans and that's fine. Many more of you may not be as familiar as I am. I'm totally willing to make a mix cd for both groups' benefit.

Let me know. J.R., if this gets you back on the mainland, you can sleep on my couch for a couple of days.

a pixel paints 1024 words

Here's a whole ton of stuff that I've been meaning to talk about, but my brain is too mushy to type about. So pretty much here are a bunch of pictures.

My work is semi-interesting. I'm dealing with thousands of dollars worth of audio and video equipment and sometimes I think it's thousands of dollars worth of complication. I sometimes wish things were back in the land of black & white and mono sound. I feel foolish about everything I don't understand, so it makes me feel pretty good when I find spelling errors on some of this stuff (even when it's a cheap digital audio recorder). Note that it's not just some foreign spelling since it's different in the instruction manual.

I absolutely love Spring snowboarding. It's warm. I get to wear shorts...
There's hardly anyone there (notice how there are no little dots around me)...
... but stuff like this can happen. I didn't hit a tree. This is from skidding across the Spring crystaline-like snow.
So the guy who runs MyExtraLife.com and Extra Life Radio is an acquaintance of mine and he rented out a theater to watch the new Spidermun movie.
Maria and I went and had a great time. She got to meet Scott Johnson (the Extra Life guy), wear her nerdy t-shirt and I got to win a t-shirt. Rhett was going to go, but he got tied up. He also said he didn't really want to deal with the "geek smell." I actually didn't know there was a geek smell. I suppose I actually have the geek smell and am just used to it. The particular day of the show also happened to be Free Comic Book Day. We actually bumped into Scott at the comic book store right after the movie. So it was a pretty fun day. Strangely I don't remember much of the movie.

I bet you're wondering how I got this old picture of the temple. Well, I actually took it, but made it look old. Just ignore the guy in modern clothes in the foreground, the Zions Bank building in the background, the car and the fact that the photo was obviously taken on the grounds of the new Conference Center.
Maria and I have been watching a lot of Curb Your Enthusiasm lately which explains this picture of her looking a lot like Cheryl Hines.


This picture and the one below it and the two above it were taken on one of the first really nice days of the year.
This one is just for my friend Dre. Dre, this TREE is a huge 311 fan. It's somewhere in Salt Lake City. Your job is to find it!
This thing is a true mini like the ones I used to see in New Zealand. Notice that it's way smaller than a normal mini. This particular vehicle was parked at my work one day for some reason.

don't read this if you hate your time being wasted aaagghh!!!

I know I haven't written decently in like a month, so I just have to say that I'm still alive. I also have tons of pictures and a pretty big technological announcement coming very very shortly.

locke's dead!

Say hooray!

Well, maybe he's not dead. He tends to heal quickly like a lesser Wolverine or Heroes cheerleader. He probably is dead though because apparently Terry O'Quinn sold his house in Hawaii.

But if he's not dead, at least he's in a ditch with an abdominal bullet wound and bleeding. Good riddance. He was getting so freaking annoying.

dirty deeds done

You may be wondering why I'm rollin' in the Jacksons. My crew and I have made our fortunes by doing our share of dirty work. Some things I do are things that nobody else would touch.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned Joe before. Actually, I just did a quick search of the blog and I guess I mention Joe quite a bit. He beats me in Guitar Hero all the freakin' time. One thing I'm pretty sure I haven't mentioned is that Joe has an intensely hairy back. After this last Wednesday, I think he may possibly have the hairiest back in the state.

About a week ago, Joe borrowed my camera to enter 101.9 The End's "Bringing Sexy Back" contest. It was a hairy back contest. We always joked with him about his hairiness, but I didn't think he'd make the station's callbacks. He did. The station asked him to come into the studio to compete against two other hairy-backed guys. They also required him to bring in someone else to sculpt his back hair into some kind of artistic statement. Since, my boss was to be out of town the day of the contest, I volunteered to take the day off work to do the deed.

I had one demand: that we didn't just cave to catering by simply writing in the name of the radio station. Joe, Maria and I brainstormed a few pretty good back designs. Maria suggested the rock-on hand sign and wings. Joe loved the rock sign, but i didn't think I'd be able to make it look convincing. I liked the idea of the wings, because a hairy texture is close to a feathered texture; so I talked Joe into doing the wing thing.

We barely made it to the station on time and were escorted into the studio. We met Parker and Wendi, the two newest personalities on The End. He pretty much talks non-stop about how the Utah audience hates him. Nicer in person than I thought though. Wendi was super-nice, but slightly forlorn. His picture on the website makes him look like a total db, but his hair isn't actually that peroxided in person. One of the other guys was our age. He brought his sister with him. Both of the other guys were bigger gentleman, but the guy who came with his wife was quite a bit bigger. He was also a bit older. His wife did a lot of complaining about how weird it is to cuddle up with a guy with a hairy back. Anyway, they started off jabbing off with us for an unnecessary amount of time. I brought in my iRiver FM receiver to record the experience, but the reception in there was strangely bad. Maybe I should have just turned the microphone recorder on. I'll try to post what I got anyway.

I didn't think we really had a chance of winning until it was time to have everyone take their shirts off. The young guy was about as hairy as Joe, but the guy with the complaining wife hardly had anything. Hopefully after seeing the other contestants, she'll quit her yappin.' So then they gave us about 15 minutes to go ahead and work our magic. We forgot an electric razor, but the station provided a couple of them for us. We were prepared in just about every other way. I sharpied up some key locations, so that I could get the symmetry of the wings right (I still got it quite a bit wrong). We also brought some razor blades to do some close cutting on the edges for a deeper contrast, but they were only good for a swipe or two before they became clogged up with hair and useless (it's not like we had running hot water to rinse them out with). I messed up plenty on the texturing. I wanted to sort of make the triangular shape of feathers, but when I did I wound up taking off more hair than I wanted to (because of the curl variable etc.) and we wound up with plenty of very unneeded baldness. Because of this, I panicked and to Joe's chagrin I touched up the whole project with some sharpie outlining.

When time was up and we got a glimpse of the other contestants, I had a sudden surge of hope. To my delight, BOTH of the other teams went with the butt-kissing "101.9 The End" design that I vetoed initially. They also went overboard in coloring their poorly shaved designs with magic markers. We had to tell a couple of people what our design was, but once we told them, they ahh'ed with mild delight. The judges were the sponsors (a husband and wife team from the laser treatment place called Evea) and an up-and-coming Georgia band intensely loved by Parker called Five Star Iris (a sort of blend of Gin Blossoms, Keith Urban and an EFY tape).

After a short dismissal, we got back into the studio where the Evea guy (who has almost no body hair, btw) announced that Joe won (say hooray!).

After the contest, we were treated to a free mini-concert by Five Star Iris. They're pretty nice guys. Good thing, because nobody really knows who they are yet, so they'd be dumb to be divas already. After the show we chatted and got our picture taken with them.

The contest prize was $200 (which Joe split evenly with me (hence the top photo)) and three free laser treatments, which I guess Joe will start participating in around Memorial Day or so. Of course If Joe wants to do it right, he'll have to order three MORE treatments after his free ones at close to a cost of 1000 bucks. In essence, the laser people will ultimately hustle him into it. On the other hand, the poor hairy guy has been meaning to do this for a long time, so he may as well get a huge discount on the process. Looks like Joe won't be the hairiest guy in the state for too much longer.

three things i learned at work today

There's been a theory floating around that one way to help overcome allergies is to consume honey that has been produced locally. Since bees make honey from the local pollen containing the allergens that cause allergic symptoms, eating local honey sort of produces an immunity in much the same way that vaccinations do. Rhett and I have thrown around this theory for the past few months. Today I found out at least two (2) people on the internet subscribe to the same theory. Although that doesn't prove its truth, the fact that I didn't stumble across anybody refuting the theory certainly doesn't dispel it. Of course they do recommend starting the "honey treatment" of a teaspoon a day three months in advance of allergy season. My allergies aren't nearly as bad as last year (when I actually saw a doctor because I was convinced I had more than mere allergies), but they've been pretty bad the past couple of weeks.

Years ago I read that the original guitarist for the Red Hot Chili Peppers wanted to take action against the band because he wrote much of their first album and was shortly thereafter tactlessly fired from the band. It was probably about 15 years ago that I read that. Since then in every single magazine I've read and every single tv show I've seen that has had something to do with the Peppers I've been told that Hillel Slovak was the original guitarist and he died of a heroin overdose in 1988. Finally, a quick check on wikipedia informed me that Slovak was actually the original guitarist, but was also in another band with a record contract when the Peppers cut their first record. Slovak temporarily committed with the other band and re-joined RHCP after their first album was already recorded. The Peppers recruited a guy named Jack Sherman just for that first recording. I recall reading in that original article that the fired guitarist claimed that Anthony Kiedis and Flea were ridiculously abusive to him and that when they fired him they walked into the room giggling. Sherman's wikipedia entry didn't mention such abuse, but I can only conclude that the guy I read about must be him, even though we never ever hear about him being a part of the band.

(Speaking of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, I also read that when Slovak died, their original drummer, Jack Irons (who was also in that other band (called What Is This?) with Slovak), said to the rest of the band, "This is not where I want to be. I do not want to be a part of something where my #*&$ing friends are dying." He then immediately left the band. Strangely, in the small world of rock music, he was asked to join a band called Mookie Blaylock. He declined, having formed a band of his own, but referred a singer to them by the name of Eddie Vedder. Mookie Blaylock later became Pearl Jam and Irons drummed (dram?) for them anyway between 1994 and 1998).

The weird creature I've seen crawling around our house isn't an alien, but just a house centipede. It looks pretty monstrous and unholy, but wikipedia claims that these things are actually great to have around because they cause no damage and consume unwanted pests. Plus, they don't really bite that often. Late last night I saw it and since it looked so different from a regular centipede I thought it might actually be an alien. I then imagined that it communicated with me that its species was dying and it needed milk or sugar or something to survive. It came to me because the species didn't want a lot of "Earth press" and they'd love to strike a deal under the table where the entire scientific and political community of the planet would not come down on them. I then readily agreed and in return for whatever nutrients they'd need, I would hire them as extras in a really awesome horror movie about bugs from outer space. Soon the celebrity would get to me and I'd inadvertently sever the deal and then the space bugs would kill me and most of Earth out of self-defense.

a non-joking aside

So I've totally lost count of how many jokes I've told so far this week. What's even worse is that I can't think of a single joke I've refrained from saying that I could tell at the end of the week. What that means is that even when I set a goal, put a time measurement on it and then tell everyone I'm doing it; I still don't bother to accomplish it. It's pretty depressing, especially coupled with an even deeper feeling that I automatically attempt humor as a defense mechanism. Does anybody remember that M*A*S*H where Hawkeye went 24 hours without telling a joke? He wanted to prove that he wasn't insecure. Even he made it 24 hours.

Anyway, badder news blending into better news...

Scott, the guy who runs the extralife link on the side of my blog page, recently made an open talent call for a new video game podcast he and this guy Blake are starting up. You can read the original call for entries here. I figured I'd totally try out even though at the time I decided to I didn't actually own a microphone or a Skype connection. I figured I'd worry about it if they actually liked what they heard, but more likely I would just fail and not have to worry about it.

A couple of nights ago I made a goal to finally get my audition mp3 sent over to him. That night was absolutely horrible. I already recorded my voice at work and some Nintendo sound effects onto my iRiver mp3 player the night before. I actually went a little crazy the night before because I couldn't find my double 1/8" wire (pretty much a wire with a headphone jack on both ends). This is pretty serious since it's the wire I had to buy to replace the wire my former boss stole from me (that's probably worth a story sometime). I did find a similar wire, but for some reason it recorded the Nintendo sound effects pretty low. I figured it would be no big deal since I shouldn't have any problem increasing the volume (it's a different story altogether if the volume was too loud and permanently distorted). Now all I had to do was edit the thing together, export it and email it. Unfortunately, both Soundtrack (non-Pro) and Garageband don't have (at least that I could find, I'm still new to this Mac thing (I should really name that thing, maybe it'll be more forgiving after I do)) a very good system of straight-forward audio amplification. I wound up downloading Audacity, a scrappy little free program I used to use all the time when I recorded the FreeCapitalist show. It let me down, though, when it couldn't read Soundtrack's mega bizarro sound files. After an inability to locate the mp3 conversion of the files by iTunes I finally wound up burning the audio to cd and then ripping the same cd back onto the computer I just burned from. As someone who even partially considers himself a computer user, I found the process sickening. Afterward I discovered the missing mp3 files were actually in a pretty obvious place after all. Must've been incredibly tired and agitated. Anyway (ever notice that I'm only long-winded when I talk about computer problems?) I compiled my voice (taken from three separate takes) with clips from the Wii main menu, Trauma Center: Second Opinion and the original Legend of Zelda. At 1 am, I emailed the completed mp3, by that time not really caring about the impeccable quality I was planning for. All I cared about was that my assignment was finished (a strategy I used through all of college) and that it could be sent to Scott and Blake (the other host of the future podcast).

I bet since I had such a hard time putting the thing together, they'll totally want me to do it. So... should I tell them I don't actually have Skype (yet)?

i've only told six jokes so far

That last entry was written very poorly and I apologize. Now is about the time I automatically tell a joke. Today I discovered that I really have to think about not being in a humorous mood. I think it might be a defense mechanism or a stress reliever or something.

Getting on with things, I've already had a really hard time and have actually given in a few times. Here are the jokes I slipped up on (marvel at how stupid they are that I totally sold out my integrity so soon):

1. During our V.I.P. Media morning meeting my boss, Pete, said that our latest video project was shown at some kind of library fundraiser that raised $100,000. I responded with "So, what's our cut?" This was almost not a joke, since I kind of legitimately wanted to know how much the company makes during these things. I didn't get an answer, though, so I guess it was just a joke.

2. During the same meeting, Chad, a co-worker mentioned that when he was in school he took a sound class. For the final, the professor removed all the sound effects from the movie Silverado and the class took about a month to develop the sound effects and re-edit them into the movie. I said, "So you didn't just rent Silverado and put the same effects back in?"

3. We got new candy in the candy bowl at work. One of the candies is actually called "Mary Jane." I had to ask, "So do we just eat this? Does anyone have a lighter?"

4. I've been consistently coming into work at 9:15 am. Pete told me that we're meeting at Village Inn tomorrow at 8:30 am to award the winning bracket of the office March Madness contest. I said "There's an 8:30 am now?" Of course this is really an example of a totally different type of joke that I'm trying to overcome. It's pretty much a direct Simpsons quote.

5. Jarem was at my house with his girlfriend, Chantel, and he got on the phone with his mom to ask her if Chantel could come over for dinner on Wednesday. Suddenly, Mike and Rhett started yelling about coming along too until Jarem finally asked his mom if they could come too. After all the commotion died out I uttered, "I'm so very hungry." Same thing as joke five. That was a direct Futurama quote.

6. Chantel remarked that my customized Catan game just needed one adjustment to make an island of each resource. I told her, "I'll take it up with the committee," referring strictly to myself. It could be argued that the remark isn't a joke at all. It's also a longshot quote from Empire Strikes Back. Han said aloud to "Take it up with the committee," to which Leia yelled back, "I am not a committee!"

Also, since I made this list of six i was watching the big basketball game tonight and when the ball was passed to an exceptionally short player I instinctively yelled "dunk it!"

*sigh* See? these jokes aren't even that funny.

Okay, that's not a very good start, I admit it.

lent on loan

I'm taking a miniature Lent break in this week before Easter. For the next seven days I'm giving up humor for Lent. I haven't decided if I can still write humor in the blog or not or if I can still say, "ever see that Simpsons where..." Mostly I'll be getting rid of sarcasm.

It may actually be a nice break. I'm hoping it won't be hard at all. For the past 20 years or so in just about every situation I'm concentrating on thinking of something funny to say. I know a lot of jokey people sometimes just want to "be taken seriously," which is a pretty annoying phrase, so sorry for saying it. Sometimes I'm concerned that I don't take myself seriously. Now maybe I can concentrate on more serious things.

So I'm not going to be telling any jokes from now until this Sunday evening. If something pops up in my head, I'll write it down and totally tell you later.