Friday, November 09, 2007

trek gods and debauchery

So while we're speaking on Star Trek, one of my very favorite episodes was on yesterday.

Ever see the one called "Return of the Archons?" It's pretty good. It's one of my favorites, if I didn't mention that already. Somehow I think I've given the synopsis on my blog or my site before, but hey, here it is again.

The Enterprise is investigating the disappearance of the U.S.S. Archon that disappeared 100 years earlier. I don't know why it took them so long to get around to finding this other ship or how the search would even benefit something that was lost for so long, but give them credit anyway. The ship was last seen around the vicinity of a planet inexplicably inhabited by humans (or maybe they're aliens that the production people at Paramount didn't have the budget to apply makeup to) and the crew checks the place out. The people on this planet do nothing but walk around like zombies, being vaguely pleasant to each other except for during a specific time during the week. This time is known as "The Festival" or "Red Hour." At Red Hour, the clock chimes and the townspeople cease somnambulism and cut directly to unabashed debauchery -- unbridled sexuality, looting, throwing stuff, etc. Eventually Kirk and the crew find that they're in a place similar to that place with the glowing brain in A Wrinkle in Time. The people are controlled, but secretly hope for more "Archons" like the ones from 100 years ago who shook up their backward society, but ultimately failed to overthrow the control.

There are some wonderful gems. "They're the sweetest, most wonderful people in the universe -- it's paradise." Such things are countered by Kirk and co. at the climax when he argues against this idea, positing that "good must transcend evil" and ultimately that such mindlessness is vacant contentment and not real contentment in the least. The cold logic and order of this planet was God to the people. Apparently a being with merely the means to keep tabs on millions of people and provide safety is hardly God at all. The cold logic didn't have the soul or the spirit of true love and leadership.

I didn't mean to get all this serious.

Anyway, a couple of things were unnecessary, but very welcome. First of all, there was no need to have the original Archons in the story at all. The slight story widening was sort of fun to consider what happened during the events of 100 years ago, though.

The other thing that's stayed with me ever since I first saw the episode is the concept of Red Hour. One guy commented on the imdb that he liked the episode, but it bugged him that the idea of Red Hour was never explained. He assumed that since there was so little action, the producers just threw in people going crazy to make the episode more exciting. No. That's not the case. Perhaps a more elaborate explanation was lost in syndication episode cuts, but the reason for Red Hour is because humanity can't be constrained by constant control. Whatever power was holding the people back needed to let loose to ensure a sort of pressure valve. People who independently better themselves probably wouldn't need Red Hour. This concept was unnecessary for the purposes of what actually happens in the story, but I feel it deepens some of the themes involved.

It turns out that Ben Stiller named his production company "Red Hour" in honor of this episode.

People who know me really really well, know why I really love the concept of Red Hour. I always relate it back to my days at BYU. Some would say that BYU is far more controlled and far more soulless than 99% of all other college campuses in the country. But, BYU had a Red Hour in the form of dance classes. The decentest, most conservative people there always took a dance class and it was the one time during the week when co-human full-body rubbing was guaranteed. The Latin and ballroom types were the most depraved. I never took a dance class, but I made observations. I couldn't imagine participating objectively without my own carnal self getting involved. I suppose my pressure valve was breaking all the other rules.

J.R. if you're still doing the Star Trek Netflix thing, let me know when you get to this episode. Also, I want to do a commentary on Star Trek II sometime in the future.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

stream of whatever

I tripped on the treadmill again the other day.

Tell me. When am I actually supposed to start feeling good after going to the gym? It's so absolutely punishment.

I need to buy new clothes. My high-flyin' stuff I got from Mexpress three years ago is begining to fray.

Why would anyone save used ink cartridges from work for six months? It's because I'm ob-com about recycling. For whatever reason, Best Buy has a place where people can recycle print cartridges. Seems like something pretty weird to recycle, but they do it somehow.

Maria is going out of town this weekend. That means lots more burping and farting. It also means I'll be able to plow through the entire dvd of Babylon 5 that just came in through Netflix. I'll probably hit that new movie about Ian Curtis called Control. I'll definitely eat lots of Chinese food. What else should I do?

She's heading to Frisco. I'm not the type of person who exalts specific cities, but San Francisco is pretty choice. I've only been there once, and it was like 20 years ago, but I remember being quite impressed. I tried to talk her into playing that game Manhunter: San Francisco to get used to the area, but she didn't seem too interested.

Have fun, honey! I'll have fun without you, but probably not really that much fun.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I voted the other day. Turns out I voted the same way most other people voted. I didn't vote for that Dave "I like this guy" Buhler for mayor. The reason is probably pretty lame by most standards and it's definitely impertinent to any principle or issue. I just hated his sign that said "vote for the doer, not the dreamer." I'd prefer to have a guy in charge who considered themselves a doer and a dreamer. Because he let go of the "dreamer" part, it sounds like he has no ideals. Yeah, give me a dreamer. I'd rather have someone who hopes to make changes for the better instead of simply being a hard-worker. Of course that person's dream could easily be one where he or she is in underwear in class, but then they inexplicably fall off a cliff. Maybe that would be bad.

Yesterday, I picked up the latest issue of Blender. I'm not really much of a prude or anything, but the front cover this month was pretty extreme. I actually ripped the cover off, because such smut is strangely beneath me; but mostly because I certainly couldn't be seen reading it without people thinking that I regularly read dirty magazines. If anybody is curious, the cover is a very provocative shot of Nicole Scherzinger and it's at the bottom of my recycling bin.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

say cheesecake factory!


Yep. Here it is. It's here. Done. I saw it. Here. I saw it here at Fashion Place Mall.

Just so you know, presently the wait time for two people is 50 minutes.

Here's the menu. Maria and I are eventually going to try every cheesecake, or maybe every pasta.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

daylight saving blues once more

So I had another thing to post today, but blogger isn't accepting my pictures. Pictures work on my other blogs (check them out! (except they haven't been updated in a while actually)), but for some reason my main blog is having problems. I believe it has something to do with the fact that I'm publishing to my own server rather than the blogger server. Over the past two years I've had some pretty continuous problems in this regard. Hopefully this post gets published, honestly. I am very close to ceasing my ftp dealie altogether and switching over to jonmadsen.blogspot.com.

If, one day, you come here and I'm not here anymore; try jonmadsen.blogspot.com.

Anyway, We got an extra hour this weekend! How did you spend your time? I played Pool of Radiance.

Monday, November 05, 2007

forget literacy, it's star trek time!

I've never considered myself that much of a Star Trek fan.

*wait for laughter*

I am the biggest Star Trek fan I know, but that's different. The reason I feel I'm not much of a fan isn't because I don't like Star Trek that much, it's because I DON'T feel that Star Trek is the most important show to ever air on television. I DON'T feel that Gene Roddenberry's vision of the future is really a good template to base society on. I DON'T feel that just about any Star Trek fight scene can legitimately be considered a believable fight scene.

I love Star Trek. A lot. It's just that there are too many other movies and tv shows that have a higher priority. So I am a fan. I'm just not much of one. A true Star Trek fan is far more zealous than I.

Strangely, however, I've noticed that Star Trek has been coming up in my life an awful lot lately besides my latest Halloween stint. I'm wondering if perhaps the ghost of Roddenberry is calling me to duty to become more of a fan than I actually am. I've noticed that every time I go to Las Vegas I pick up something from the Star Trek Store at the Hilton. Lately some of my podcast listening has been determined by Star Trek. The man behind Lost, another one of my intense pleasures, is colliding worlds and making the next Star Trek film. But definitely, the biggest, strangest event is my good friend J.R. telling me that he's going to actually give Star Trek a shot.

J.R., perhaps needing an escape from the island paradise he lives on, has put ALL Star Trek series and movies into his Netflix queue (read his post here). He's asked me to tell him what chronological order to watch everything in. I don't actually recommend doing that for reasons I'll discuss later, but if someone does decide to do it that way, I'll provide it. I'll also provide my simplified suggestion. Both are for anyone else attempting such a brave stunt.

First, if you actually want to watch everything chronologically in the Star Trek universe you must do it in the following order (which i actually DON'T recommend):

1. Star Trek: ENTERPRISE (all seasons)
2. The upcoming movie from J.J. Abrams
3. Star Trek: The Original Series (all seasons)
4. Star Trek: The Animated Series (all seasons)
5. Star Trek movies 1-6
6. Star Trek: The Next Generation seasons 1-the first half of Season 6
7. Star Trek: Deep Space 9 Season 1
8. The Next Generation second half of season 6 to the end of the series
9. Deep Space 9 Season 2
10. Star Trek: Generations
11. Deep Space 9 Season 3
12. Star Trek: Voyager Season 1
13. Deep Space 9 Season 4
14. Voyager Season 2
15. Star Trek: First Contact
16. Voyager first half of Season 3
17. Deep Space 9 Season 5
18. Voyager second half of Season 3
19. Voyager Season 4
20. Deep Space 9 Season 6
21. Star Trek: Insurrection
22. Deep Space 9 Season 7
23. Voyager Seasons 5-7
24. Star Trek: Nemesis

The reason I wouldn't do it this way is because I haven't even seen a whole episode of Enterprise. I hear it sucks really bad and I don't want anyone to get an immediate bad taste. In fact here's a rough breakdown of how many episodes and movies I've actually seen:

movies: 100%
The Original Series: 80%
The Animated Series: 0%
The Next Generation: 90%
Deep Space 9: 20%
Voyager: 10%
Enterprise: 1%

I'd just recommend watching them in the order they were actually made. That's how people seem to have become Star Trek Fans.
That roughly means watching in the following order (ROUGHLY):
1. The Original Series
2. The Animated Series
3. The first six movies
4. Next Generation
5. Generations
6. Deep Space 9
7. First Contact
8. Insurrection
9. Voyager
10. Nemesis

I know watching them out of order isn't something you'd like to do, J.R., but I think it would be more pleasurable. They may all take place at different points in time, but I think they were all written around the fact that viewers would be familiar with things that actually take place "later" (sort of like the Star Wars movies I suppose). Plus, the original series and Next Generation are definitely the most important and obvious ones to tackle, so you may as well do them before you're bored with too much other stuff. I've always wanted to see The Animated Series. I hear it was alright. Original voices and everything.

It may actually be fun to watch them chronologically, because you'll be able to see the continuity get screwed up from so many series as it would have gotten screwed up in the Star Trek Universe.

This is exciting. I'm really glad J.R. is givin' it a shot. Will he become a fan? Obviously not, but it's still exciting nonetheless. I just hope you get through a good slew of the original episodes. Those are my very favorite mostly because of the incredible presence of William Shatner. He's a joy to watch and emulate and love. I revere him in much the same way we all revere Charlton Heston. I don't want to start some big thing on who's better, Shatner and Heston. However, I would empty my savings account in order to see the two of them fight to the death.

I mentioned before that Star Trek has influenced my listening. A real fun way to compliment your Trek watching is to listen to a podcast called Make It So. Here's an iTunes link. It's a wonderful podcast by some British blokes who are sort of combing through all the Star Trek incarnations as well. They are fans, but they pretty much make fun of Star Trek 90% of the time. The other 10% seems to be sweet, sweet drunk talk.

Live long and prosper.

Cheers.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

striving toward literacy

So I have this friend named Emily. About a month ago I was amazed to discover that when she was in grade school, she read every single Newberry Award-winning book up until that time. What's more amazing is that when I asked her what the best Newberry book was, she said it was hard to decide, but that she would think it over and rank them all from best to worst. She calls herself a book-geek. I've wasted lots of free-time devoting myself to other things, but my geek cred isn't nearly as... intelligent as hers. Anyway, you'll probably learn a lot more about her on her blog (if she has one).

Point is, just a couple of days ago she sent me an email saying that she's still working on the list, but that she's narrowed down her favorites from individual decades. Here's the list:


1994 Medal Winner: The Giver by Lois Lowry (Houghton)
1984 Medal Winner: Dear Mr. Henshaw by Beverly Cleary (Morrow)
1972 Medal Winner: Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH by Robert C. O'Brien (Atheneum)
1968 Medal Winner: From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by E. L. Konigsburg (Atheneum)
1955 Medal Winner: The Wheel on the School by Meindert DeJong (Harper)
1949 Medal Winner: King of the Wind by Marguerite Henry (Rand McNally)
1936 Medal Winner: Caddie Woodlawn by Carol Ryrie Brink (Macmillan)
1927 Medal Winner: Smoky, the Cowhorse by Will James (Scribner)

And you know she's an absolute book-geek when she makes sure to supply the publishing companies too.

I've read Frisby, Mixed-Up Files and parts of Henshaw (which I found pretty absorbing even though I recall someone in elementary school saying it was lame). I liked the NIMH movie more than the book (I'm a movie-geek -- I've got my loyalties) and all I really remember about the Mixed-Up Files is something about bologna and that the kids bathed in a public fountain.

I've heard of The Giver, but I haven't heard of any of the others. Has anyone else? What should I read once I get through Twilight (and its sequels), Atlas Shrugged, The Fountainhead, Interview With the Vampire, Stranger in a Strange Land, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, Dracula, Frankenstein, Empire, Shadow Puppets, Black Sunday, Neverwhere, Seventh Son, and Wise Blood? Who am I kidding? I'll probably just read Twilight.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

and now for someone completely different

Let's just take this time to introduce two "friends of the moment" as seen in the column to the right.

The Willis family is composed of Jake and Dana and their kids Jonah, Gavin and Breck. I've known Jake since I was nine years old. He's pretty weird, but very smart and funny and friendly. Just don't get on his bad side. He can heckle you to tears.

Monica is Maria's sister. She's one of those English grads and so I've been trying to get her to start a blog for a long long time. She wanted my help in getting it going, but now hers is like way better than mine. Suddenly I'm all mad and jealous and I so wish I didn't encourage her. Anyway, check her out if you want more enjoyment than I can give you.

Friday, November 02, 2007

i never thought i'd become a pod person

The above is the current Extralife strip. Scott Johnson, who does Extralife, also does a podcast of which I'm a regular listener to. I listen to another podcast from The U.K. called The Definitive Word. Strangely, that podcast subject for today is actually euthanasia.

Just about every week I have that Truman Show moment where I get the feeling that whatever high-tech organization that is controlling my life slips up a little bit and throws some strange coincidences into my life. I mean, how often do we talk about euthanasia? Maybe I just listen to way too many podcasts. I drive a lot, ok?

The Definitive Word mentioned a guy named Harold Shipman. Have you ever heard of him? You probably have. Will Tristram and Mike Dawson (the hosts) weren't sure if Americans had or not so they briefly explained. Apparently this guy euthanized probably over 200 people against their will in England. This was like at the turn of the century or so (and by turn of the century, I mean the most recent turn -- y'know the turn of the millenium). When I passed by the tv at work the two stories CNN was covering were a breakdown of Britney's monthly expenses and a little boy who got off the bus at the wrong time and wound up six miles from home. I almost went into the news business you know. I figured I wasn't serious enough for it. I suppose I was wrong. In all fairness though, I hardly ever watch CNN or any other news really. Game shows are pretty much the most non-fictional items I view on tv. I'll bet that if I watched CNN a few years ago, I'd know exactly who Harold Shipman is (or was -- he actually euthanized himself with a bedsheet in prison).

While I'm talking about podcasts, Rhett, remind me to show you the Attack of the Show podcast where they go over the Halo 3 forge. It's pretty psycho.

Anybody else listen to podcasts? They're free. That's pretty much why they've replaced new music for me.

This blog entry has been brought to you by:

Myextralife.com
The Definitive Word
The Truman Show
Attack of the Show!
Halo 3
The United Kingdom
Harold Shipman
and
J.R. Fillmore's November movie of the month! -- Vote now! This is definitely the most important movie of the month yet!

Thursday, November 01, 2007

lost in utica

The Office has come full circle for me.

I've mentioned it a little to friends over the past couple of weeks, but tonight's episode really did it. I am officially uncomfortable when I watch the show. I think tonight really did it because I think for the first time, I've felt really horrendously awkward on behalf of Jim. That time when he cried in front of Pam doesn't count. He was quite dignified. But Jim is usually the rock, y'know? Arrgh. Brilliant, but burdensome.

Karen was cuter than I remember. Pam has been exceptionally cute this season, but I thought Karen really had an edge tonight. I'm betting in three episodes, Jim and Pam will fall apart because Jim doesn't take her art seriously enough.

We all have our little finer things. One of my finer things is to get a car air-freshener that specifically is not a pine tree.

This post may seem pretty frivolous, but I'm going to see if I can put in an entry for every day in November.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

revealed!

You were all wrong.


The hint picture was a tribble with a halo and photoshopped vampire teeth. Knowledgeable people know that tribbles are a creature from Star Trek, so really smart people would have known that I would be a vampire Captain Kirk and Maria (going with the halo/vampire teeth theme) would be a vampire angel.

The vampire angel was an idea of mine from a few years ago. I'll be honest. The vampire Captain Kirk is the first of its kind. Vampire Captain Kirk -- can you imagine how unstoppable he would be? He would be... oh man. Hopefully they bring Vampire Captain Kirk into the new J.J. Abrams Star Trek movie.

halloween 2007 cd preview

We're really cutting it close this year. I don't know why, but getting the Halloween cd out seems to get harder and harder every year. It's always a lot of fun, but before we did the amount of research we do now, it only took an afternoon. That was back in the era of mixtapes, though.

Despite having another child, J.R. did a great job mixing in some serious Christopher Walken spoken word into most of the tracks. The lengths this guy goes through for the sake of Halloween is seriously... scary.

I'm not quite sure if this will work since we're dealing with .m4as or something, but here goes. Here are some of the songs we featured on this year's compilation. Click on them and you should be able to listen. If not, download them and then get some kind of file converter to see to your needs. If your computer has Quicktime, I think that works just fine.

2. Scarecrow by Beck
4. Reptile by The Church
5. Strange Brew by Cream
6. Witch Queen of New Orleans by Redbone
10. Out of Limits by The Markettes
16. Rainbow in the Dark by Dio
18. Exit Music (for a Film) by Radiohead

I'd like to think that somehow, mix cds celebrating Halloween will make the world a better place someday.

Happy Halloween.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

how 'bout another halloween post?

Here's a little hint of what Maria and I are going to be for Halloween. Any guesses (excluding everyone I know who's already seen the costumes)?

a blow to the halloween schedule

Is it a conspiracy that they released Guitar Hero III only three days before Halloween? It's cruel. Delicious, magnificent cruel; but still cruel.

A more oldskool form of cruel is the fact that they released the game for the Wii, but are not selling stand-alone guitars for two-player games. The guy at the video game store said he wasn't sure what Red Octane's deal is, but he isn't aware of any future plans to release a separate guitar. As a result, my hand was forced and I did the awesomest, stupidest thing yet this week. I bought a separate copy of the game for Playstation 2.

Anyway, here's a shot of Dre and me rocking out at the same time and in two different rooms and on two different televisions!

Monday, October 29, 2007

amended halloween fun

Years and years ago I posted some Fox Trot comics on my old web site. I remember considering asking Bill Amend for permission to do so. Reading some of his strips, autobiographical information in his books and his web site; I concluded that he's a really cool guy and would probably give me permission with no questions asked. I still chickened out though. What if he didn't and I'd be stuck without a post that day? Once again, I'm chickening out on the permission. Maybe it's mostly because just about any other person (including Amend, I reckon) would consider such a thing way to minor to even bother.

Anyway, I couldn't resist. This is an awesome one and, as usual, very timely.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

raven

Ok, so it's not like I wrote this or anything, but J.R. and I will be using it for this year's Halloween cd. We have audio of it, so I needed to have a printed copy in front of me to figure out where certain audio would go in the playlist. Since I don't have a word processing program on the mac that I'm used to, I decided to edit the list her in the blogger interface. Looks like I accidentally published it about an hour ago. So if you somehow managed to come across it during that time, that's what the deal is. Instead of taking it down, I may as well leave it up for the season. Why not?

The parts bolded are only bolded because we may use those parts on the cd. Foreshadowing! Or maybe spoilers!

Oh, and I suppose you don't need to be a genius to know that it was Edgar Allan Poe who wrote this originally.

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,

Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as `Nevermore.'

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the bird said, `Nevermore.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Never-nevermore."'

But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking `Nevermore.'

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!

Friday, October 26, 2007

scratching on the outside of the casket

I love Halloween so dang hard.

Unfortunately, for the past two years I've found it to be excruciatingly exhausting. We hit the climax of all Halloweendom two years ago. May as well read old archives of the sheer spectacle of it all. Would you believe I'm actually too lazy to provide the link right now? I'd rather just keep typing words instead of code. Check out the archives of October and November 2005 over on the column to the right to read about Halloweens past.

Anyway, the point is I'm stressed out. I'm running out of time to fully enjoy the holiday. We're here on the last weekend and I've hardly accomplished any of my Halloween duties. Here's the list:
1) finish the Jon Madsen/J.R. Fillmore Halloween 2007 Halloween cd (almost done)
2) hit up Frightmares at Lagoon
3) hit up Nightmare on 13th
4) buy nine packages of candy
5) see several scary movies
6) do a movie commentary on a scary movie (probably Lost Boys)
7) since it's the middle of the night right now, number seven is devoted to the unknown Halloween activity that slips my mind
8) and oh yeah of course, make another horror movie
9) read a few appropriate novels
10) actually PICK A HALLOWEEN COSTUME

Every year Kaila and I go to a haunted house. Starting last year, Maria has joined us for obvious reasons. We still need to make time for that.

I actually meant to do a commentary on The Lost Boys ever since the middle of summer. I was totally going to preface the whole thing with "I know this may seem like a Halloween movie, but I consider it a really great scary summer movie, 'cuz that's what it is." Yeah, I was going to do that LONG before Halloween and now I've procrastinated enough to quite possibly not finish IN TIME for Halloween.

My video camera went on the fritz in Hawaii, so I probably couldn't make a scary movie even if I had anything in my head. I fear that I'll only have one horror film under my belt by the end of my life.

I'm reading the teen vampire infatuation-fest Twilight right now. Kind of sad that in Halloweens past I've started Dracula, Frankenstein and even nearly finished Interview With the Vampire, but Twilight might be the first of all those I actually finish.

Have you seen it? Watch it on youtube right here. As long as we're talking about media events, may as well listen to the Abel Hour Halloween broadcast from last year featuring Scott Johnson from Myextralife. Strangely this particular Abel Hour is still online.

Anyway, I really have picked out a costume, but it's not quite as original as some of my past endeavors. I'm not saying what it is yet, but at least I'm not a girl. I asked my friend Kristi what she's going as and she said a slut, which was very surprising. She's not that kind of girl. When I questioned her choice she simply said, "It's all the costume store had left." Funny. True, though.

Pretty much all I have done is watch J.R.'s October pick of the month -- Lady in White. I think both of us agree that a better, scarier movie would have been far more apropos for October.

The point is, I get the same sort of holiday stress this season as many people do during the Christmas season and now it's down to the wire and I won't accomplish or really enjoy any of it.

Speaking of, I think it's a really good thing that Halloween now is now probably the second-most popular holiday in this country. It's the last bastion standing in the way of the Christmas season extending back into July.

And therefore, we need a Halloween grace period. I need it to go all the way to November. Since the Mexican Day of the Dead is the day after Halloween and The Simpsons Halloween Special always comes after Halloween, I think we have some pretty favorable precedents. Halloween should go to Thanksgiving.

If I get nothing done this year, maybe I'll try something different. Maybe on Halloween night I'll simply stay inside and play Silent Hill or something. That's gotta be pretty effective.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

obligatory pictures from hawaii

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Hawaii!
Seriously, there were so many freaking chickens on Kauai. We heard a story that it came about because the island's biggest promoter of cockfighting crashed his chicken truck and all the birds escaped and overcame the island over time.
There's a lighthouse behind us that we were able to view the first day. It was past hours to actually go visit it when we took this photo, so we resolved to return the next day. We never got back.
A cute flower outside where we stayed on Kauai. Oh, and that's Kaila and Monica next to Maria.
Hawaiian fog








Driving videoHere's a taro paddock
This is like a sort of geyser that's pushed up the reef from the pressure of the waves

This boat was named after my mom

Saturday, October 06, 2007

greetings from hawaii!

For some reason I'm peeing eight or nine times a day here. Also, while I've been gone my car stereo has been stolen.

But I'm having a FABULOUS time!

Saturday, September 29, 2007

aloha until the next aloha

Alrighty, I'm off to Hawaii -- more specifically Kauai (see printed out mapquest picture)!
Here are some illegal Foxtrot scans about Hawaii.

Monday, September 24, 2007

myoozingz

Maria's beating me at blogging this week. That's a total first.

Anyhoo, we've been together for a year. She's not lying. It's just totally breezed by. If you read my blog, you undoubtedly read hers so this would be old news to you.

We celebrated by going to this place called The Melting Pot this last Tuesday. You go in there and you dip stuff into boiling cheese. I decided I wanted the Swiss combo, but before we ordered we asked the server what he thought of it and he said that it's the one dish that people ask to be taken back the most often. Surprisingly, Maria said we still ought to get it and I think I know why. It wasn't because she was setting up an ambush where she could blame me for not liking it. It wasn't. It actually was because she knows I like it when she tries new things and if she didn't like it, she knew it would be a good excuse to come back later and try something else.

Maria gave me Metroid Prime 3: Corruption for the Wii that night. I just got her flowers, which you can totally see at her blog (as well as her (better) account of what happened that night). They're really nice flowers and all but after the Swiss thing and the video game, it's totally obvious that I totally made out with far more loot than she did (as usual). Actually, it would have been nice if the server talked us out of the Swiss thing. I totally adore Swiss cheese, but I have no doubt that a less crazy flavor would have been more enjoyable. Yeah, if you go to The Melting Pot, take our words for it and stay away from the Swiss.

We love the movie Hot Rod. There's an homage scene to Footloose that is completely hilarious. There's also the best "falling down a hill" scene yet put on film (and these are back-to-back too). So we were with friends tonight and we wanted to get everyone together to see it, but are realizing we may not even be able to until halfway through next month. It's almost depressing because we're having so much fun with stuff that we have no time to do semi-menial fun stuff like just hitting up the dollar movie. In the next few weeks a bunch of us are heading to Hawai'i. Yeah, Mom, I know I haven't told you yet, but I didn't want to tell you until right before I left so that you wouldn't fret about it for more than a few weeks. After that we're going to Las Vegas to hit up the BYU game (but really just to go to Vegas). Plus, October will be filled with scary movies, haunted houses and Lagoon on the weekends. When am I supposed to watch Hot Rod? Sometimes I miss having fewer friends so that I had to just go see movies I wanted to see (alone).

I was checking out Wikipedia earlier to really find out what the title of the book A Wind in the Door means. By doing so, I discovered that Madeleine L'Engle died like a couple of weeks ago! How tragic. To commemorate her death, I put the TV movie A Wrinkle in Time on my girlfriend's roommate's Netflix queue. Apparently L'Engle said of the movie "I have glimpsed it... I expected it to be bad, and it is" shortly before she died. I still don't know what "a wind in the door" means.

Speaking of quotation marks, have you checked out http://quotation-marks.blogspot.com?

I laughed out loud earlier this week at a random Simpsons quote from forever ago that just popped into my head. It's when Apu says something about Homer to the effect of, "Never have I seen someone take such liberal use of the 'leave a penny, take a penny' rule." The reason I laughed out loud is because there are two ways to "get" the joke. The first is how absurd it is that Apu would complain about something so minor. The second, and I think more funny possibility is that Apu actually has a right to complain and Homer is taking so much advantage of the penny tray to the degree that he stakes the Qwik-E-Mart out and "cleans it out" every hour or so.

In the evenings, Maria and I have been watching my DVDs of two awesome shows: Firefly (mentioned previously) and 30 Rock. I swear, a bad episode of those shows was never made and that's just joyous.

I got a swell temporary tattoo from the gumball machines at Wal-Mart. I got it to get myself pumped for the stake softball tournament Saturday morning that we only got to play two games of. It's the sweetest temporary tattoo I've ever gotten. The last two that came out of those machines were El Caminos.

Maria gets mad at me whenever I say a guy looks attractive, because she doesn't like me even joking around aboutthat kind of stuff even though I don't think I do it that bad. So I'm sorry when I say I think I look really good in that cheesy dragon tat picture.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

eprozac

I just got off the phone with the chiropractic office I've been shrugging off for a month. Instead of just telling them to go away I just said I was really busy. Now I'm at work sorting through different printed cds. Some printed off too red with too little green. I need figure out which ones are passable. I'm colorblind. I haven't seen Rise of the Silver Surfer yet and I predicted that it would be THE movie sequel event of the summer. Maria's been super busy at work. It's getting cold. Last night I found out that my favorite living band that I've never seen live, The White Stripes, have cancelled their upcoming show due to Meg White's acute anxiety. I should have gone to the Muse show to make up for it, but their show was a couple of hours before I found out about the Stripes' shrugging me off.

My life is really really fantastic. But at this very moment I could use some cheering up.

While you're at it, send a positive line to Meg White. She might need it more than I do.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

coping through insensitivity

Since it is September 11th I probably should say something. I got nothin' really. I guess Osama bin Laden sent out another tape a few days ago urging Americans to convert to Islam. He probably also said that such behavior would lead to less Al-Qaeda attacks. At least I think he mentioned something like that. Lately my unfamiliarity with the news has only been matched by my illiteracy in actually looking such stuff up.

Anyway, when I heard about the new tape last week, I thought it could be the basis of a wonderfully hilarious video of my own where I would put on a fake beard (similar to the one that Osama may be wearing in his video), put a towel on my head and proclaim that I had converted to Islam. I'd then give a tour of my house that would be filled with Camel cigarettes and posters of the WWF wrestler The Iron Sheik and simple phrases like "Islam is so hot right now." The camera would follow me outside where I'd reveal my full address and leave detailed instructions to fly planes into all my neighbors' homes but not into mine. Then the camera would reveal the tarp on top of the house which says in big letters "OLLUH RULEZ!" Maybe I'd spell it right or not do that part at all. Misspelling the name of God could be considered blasphemous not only to all Muslims, but also to all monotheistic religions since, from what I understand, the name "Allah" isn't so much a name as it is the word for God in Arabic. So maybe I'd switch the tarp to "BIN LADEN ROCKS HARD!" Going back to the controversial phrase, we go all John Lennon on this and say "BIN LADEN IS BIGGER THAN ALLAH!" Whoa. If he got blamed for that phrase, it could start up all sorts of stuff.

Anyway, the point is the video clip would be the kind of viral youtube stuff that gets mega-popular and would certainly be seen by the bearded guy. Then, when my house isn't attacked by terrorists, bin Laden would totally lose some serious cred.

Happy September 11th. Hang in there World.

Check out my other teeny tiny September 11th entry from last year right here.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

daffy laffy taffy 2

Observe this Laffy Taffy joke on the right. Notice the question and notice the answer. Got it?

Now, read the following tiny news blurb found here.

Does anybody know Shara from Oklahoma? If you do, please please forward this along to her.

Thanks.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

cred... hard

Last entry when I said I was buying Firefly the next day... I was serious. I bought it the next day. I don't mess around. I've decided that if there's one thing I'm sort of good at, it's being a geek. I think I've got the cred. You may have noticed that I've established a few more self-links to back myself up.

I've already mentioned "the jon madsen movie commentary podcast." I won't rehash old news, but soon I will be uploading possibly our best work yet -- our commentary on the movie Footloose that was recorded with three Merrill sisters, two roommates and two neighbors.

"blogging forgotten realms" is a new experiment that pushes the boundaries of geekitude. I got the idea from a couple of other longstanding side links of mine -- "Blogging Ultima," and to a lesser extent, "Blogging the Bible ." With this new blog, I'll be playing through the entire SSI Goldbox series of RPG computer games which include (but isn't limited to) Pool of Radiance and Curse of the Azure Bonds. I've already established some new geek contact with this one.

"a game a week" is, for now a transcript of a small segment I do for Scott Johnson's "Final Score" podcast. Perhaps in the future I'll make it into it's own little podcast. It's a couple of minutes talking about an old retro video game that I try out that week. Scott is famous for his "Extra Life Radio" podcast and webcomic "My Extra Life."

BTW, Firefly is even better than I remember. Totally come and watch it with me! Even Rhett says it's good.

Unfortunately, I must mention real quick that I've also been accumulating even more white trash cred recently. Last weekend the lawn mower ran out of gas after my mowing only 40% of the job finished. I got out the edger and finished the lawn with that. That little move alongside bathing in my backyard with the hose, seriously up my WTC. It's a good way to balance my geek cred maybe.

And oh yeah, here's one more Simpsons avatar friend poster. See if you can spot Cinnamon.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

birthday copy paste happy fun time

Rhett's birthday was yesterday and my mind's been so soggy lately that I wasn't able to continue writing our future adventures I began right here.

Instead I'll share a couple of bits of correspondence between us.

Rhett's interest in popular and new wave 80s music has, thanks to me, increased since we've known each other. Yesterday Rhett asked me to comment on and rate six fairly random 80s songs, which I am copying and pasting below:

1. "The Promise" by When in Rome
i used to love this song a lot more. it was a little bit more meaningful before it was on napoleon dynamite and became somewhat campy. but i totally loved the dreamy chorus the first 500 times i heard it. it's good emo imo.
7 thumbs up

2. "Suedehead" by Morrisey
my favorite morrissey song and i probably like this song more than any other smiths song as well. it begins with a sort of sweeping guitar refrain that puts it in a nice place between ballad and rock. the lyrics are priceless. "why do you come here when you know it makes things hard for me?/ why do you come?/ i'm so sorry." then it gets really hilarious when he sings: "you had to sneak into my room just to read my diary/ it was just to see just to see/ all the things i'd written about you/ oh, so many illustrations/ oh but i'm so very sickened." anyway, i hated morrissey when i first heard him, but it's one of those things that you like way more once you're used to it.
10 thumbs up

3. "Uncertain Smile" by The The
i don't know very much about this band, but i do know this song and it's pretty good. i know they outsourced the piano work and it's pretty groovy listenable jazz piano. i think there's an extended version that really showcases the piano. the chorus is very easy to sing along to. i've sung "i've got you under my skin where the rain can't get in..." to myself many many times. the other song by this band i really like is actually called "infected." i was excited when we got guitar hero, but that "infected" is bad religion's.
9 thumbs up

4. "A Forest" by The Cure
when i saw the cure a couple of years ago, this was their final encore. it's made the halloween cd before. the cure were a lot more simple back then, but probably more haunting. the bassline that runs through the song is very very basic, but it evokes perfectly the feeling of running through a forest at night. ammon told me that someone once asked robert smith what the metaphorical meaning of the forest was and he said, "nothing, it's just a forest!" the song is about pursuing a chick that you can never get to, so that makes sense.
8 thumbs up

5. "The Killing Moon" by Echo and the Bunnymen
this one is way better after seeing donnie darko. the movie opens with this song. for some reason having visuals go with it really helps it out. the 80s weren't known too well for guitar work, and i can easily understand that. this song, though, has some really awesome guitar. it isn't obvious. it isn't awesome guitar as in, "wow, they're really wailing!" it's more like subtly keying out a certain mood. that opening guitar phrase "ba na na na... tinana...na na..." acts more like a personality than an instrument. you should know these guys because they cover the doors' "people are strange" on the lost boys.
9 thumbs up

6. "Age of Consent" by New Order
new order does no wrong. ever. this is a pretty unique one though. they have bigger sounding songs, but this is a pretty good showcase of how well they were able to program the music. kind of a slow build on top of what sounds to be stream-of-consciousness singing. they did a lot of these little high tempo light excercises. i think this one was in the movie marie antoinette. i think it was the good part. new order were a "normal" band in that they had guitar, bass and drums with a heavy augmentation of synths and computers. another difference, however, is how important the bass guitar was. i think peter hook was notorious for not really knowing how to play bass, so he pretty much played it like a guitar -- high and with a pick. anyway, i also love the title of this one.
9 thumbs up

Later yesterday when I actually talked to the guy I asked him why those six songs. He told me that someone asked the Boston Sports Guy what songs did the best job at defining the 80s, or something like that, and he responded with those six. Here's a link to Rhett's blog. A short time after he reads this he should have a link to the Sports Guy (I'm really amazed he doesn't have a link to him as I type this).

The other email Rhett sent me had to do with an Eric Snider article about free theater screenings of the tv show Firefly, which is a great show. I think I'll buy it tomorrow. Anyway, included in the column, was a some kind of treatise by a sort of super-geek. I guess it's become quite a rallying cry amongst the internet nerds. Here it is right here (here):

What a geek believes According to Rick Emerson
I believe that Han shot first.
I believe that Ally Sheedy was hotter before Molly Ringwald cleaned her up.
I believe in miniatures, models, claymation, and not revealing the shark until you absolutely have to.
I believe that George Lucas, for better or for worse, changed the way we see the world, each other, and ourselves.
And I believe that we will someday reach those stars that he himself made visible.
I believe that George Lucas is also a narrow-minded, money-grubbing pig-headed slave to the now, who ought to be locked away from his own creations, lest he do them further harm.
I believe that Jean-Luc Picard is the better Starship Captain, but I also believe that James Tiberius Kirk is infinitely cooler.
I believe that a child standing in line to buy a book at midnight is fantastic; I believe that reading makes you smart — it’s schools that make you dumb.
I believe that any episode of Futurama is better than any program featuring a precocious teenager who’s wise beyond their years.
I also believe Buffy the Vampire Slayer to be the sole exception that proves this rule.
I believe that comic books are an art form, and will someday be recognized as such.
I believe that good shows die too young; and crap shows last too long.
I believe that Eddie Izzard is the funniest man alive, and I don’t care whether you’ve ever heard of him or not — it’s still true.
I believe that a girl who likes movies about zombies is hotter than whoever is on the cover of Maxim this month.
I believe that Belloch ate that fly,
I swear to God that I heard Luke call Leia “Carrie,”
and I believe that Samwise Gamgee never quite got the credit he really deserved.
I believe in magic, I believe in dreams, I believe in the power of music, movies, and the untold worlds inside an everyday library card. And I do not believe that geeks will inherit the earth; I believe that we already have.

Rhett says he knows about 80% of what this guy is talking about and wanted to give me a crack at decifering the whole thing. So here goes.

Actually, before I decifer this, I'll just say that I'm pretty sure that half of the items on the list aren't specific to a movie or comic book, but are just broad statements and should be taken as such. I think the guy did a horrible job of mixing up the specifics and the generalizations, thus making it seem that the generalizations were inside jokes when they actually aren't. Anyway, I counted up 18 statements. Let's look over them.

1. "Han shot first"
In the original Star Wars, Greedo the bounty hunter has Han Solo at gunpoint at a cantina table. Han talks to him and then slyly shoots him underneath the table without Greedo realizing it. When George Lucas remade the Star Wars movies in 1997, he changed the scene so that Greedo actually fired at Han, but somehow strangely missed from like two feet away and THEN Han took the shot that killed Greedo. The theory is that Lucas didn't want Han to shoot first because he's really a good guy. Most geeks will tell you that they like Han badass, not cool. Plus the scene looks completely ridiculous in the changed version. Oh boy, I hope all 18 aren't this long.

2. "Ally Sheedy was hotter before Molly Ringwald cleaned her up"
In the movie The Breakfast Club (which I just happened to catch again at the Tower midnight show on Saturday), Ally Sheedy plays a sort of proto goth chick. At the very end of the movie Molly Ringwald, the prom queen, dolls her up to look more preppy. She supposedly succeeds and Ally gets some action from Emilio Estevez. The music that plays during this scene is cute, but geeks tend to love goth chicks not cheerleaders. Plus, it really takes away from one of the movies' themes which is about the importance of actually standing up for who you really are.

3. "Minitures, models, claymation and not revealing the shark"
This is laced with quite a bit of irony. I believe that he's talking about the superior benefits of "real-world" special effects that are actually physically there rather than the adding of CGI later. Strangely, geeks don't love CGI, although geeks are no strangers to computers. No doubt it's geeks that actually DO the CGI work that all other geeks complain about. The part about the shark has to do with the movie Jaws (yeah, pretty good guess, I know). When Steven Spielberg made that movie the mechanical shark kept malfunctioning and/or most of the footage they got with the shark looked absolutely unpresentable. So he was forced to use very few actual shark shots. Most people feel that this strategy actually made the movie far more riveting than if we were to see a lot of the shark the whole time. There is one shot long into the movie where we really catch the first glimpse of the shark and it comes out of nowhere. It's breathtaking. Strangely, Jaws blazed the trail that Star Wars would follow the next year, setting the stage for the mindless Summer effects-driven blockbusters that this particular geek is so fond of dissing.

4-6. "George Lucas has changed the way we see the world (for better or worse), we will someday reach the stars, Lucas ought to be locked away from his own creations"
These three are pretty much a long-winded way of saying "the first three Star Wars movies were absolutely amazing and the three that came after that horrendously suck." Something has to be said about Lucas changing the way we see the world, though. Even if you've never seen a Star Wars movie, chances are George Lucas has still affected you. For example, have you ever seen a Pixar film? Pixar was started as part of Lucas's Industrial Light and Magic and Steve Jobs bought it in 1986. Here's another example. Did the Soviets nuke us at the height of the Cold War? No, they were too freaked out by Reagan's "Star Wars" bluff about orbiting satellites defending the United States with lasers. Sound crazy? No way. Not after seeing Jedi five times in the cinema. Still speaking of Lucas, the fact that the geeks who deified him for his works are the same geeks who will likely crucify him for his works is probably going to be the subject of many graduate theses over the next 50 years. It is strange for a group of people to demand the divorce of the artist from the art. Of course we geeks do have a very legitimate point on this one. Sometimes the artist really is just plain dead wrong.

7. "Picard, better captain; Kirk, cooler"
I like the way he put this. Since the first day of the internet, geeks have debated which Star Trek captain is better: Kirk from the original series, or Picard from The Next Generation. I've always said Kirk; but most people I know say Picard, which is totally silly. I guess I've always had "cool" as the primary criteria. Picard never really made a bad decision. He was like Iceman. Actually, that's why I don't like him as much. I find the character boring and unrealistic. Picard needed to make more mistakes, be more alpha male and maybe have a few more girlfriends to really compete with Kirk.

8. "Child standing in line at midnight, schools make you dumb"
No doubt he's talking about all the midnight release parties of the Harry Potter books. I'm betting that the whole "schools make you dumb" thing is just his opinion and he's not quoting from some classic geek source... unless it's the video for Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall."

9. "Futurama better than any program with a precocious teenager who is wise beyond years"
This phrase speaks for itself, although I'm not sure why he made this specific comparison. Maybe it's because Futurama's protagonist, Fry, isn't a teen-ager, but actually acts like one.

10. "Buffy is the exception"
This one is self-explanitory, but I will go out on a limb with my geek cred and say that I think the movie is way better than the tv show.

11. "Comic books are an art form"
Self-explanitory. Many are appalled at this statement, but not NEARLY as many as a few short years ago. It is kind of obvious if you think about it. Literature and visual arts are considered two of the highest forms of art already anyway. Sure, sure most comic books are just comic books. But trust me, there are sublime pieces of work out there that quite possibly fit into whatever narrow definition you squeeze art into. You just haven't found it yet.

12. "Good shows die young. Crap shows last too long"
This is general and could probably be taken that way. It may specifically be in reference to the show Firefly which sort of probably sparked this whole hoo-ha. Firefly was actually cancelled before it finished its first season despite the anguished cries of its small, yet devoted following. At the same time, Stargate SG-1 was on for something like 11 years and most sci-fi geeks find this show kind of sci-fi white trash.

13. "Eddie Izzard is the funniest man alive"
I don't know much about Eddie Izzard, but imho, he's nothing to write about really. He was one of the recurring characters in the Ocean's 11 movies, he's somewhat of a comedian and I know he's in this new show on FX with Minnie Driver about a couple of con artists; but other than that, I'm not too familiar. I'm pretty sure he's just a part of the geek creed's author's personal taste and doesn't really belong in part of a geek passion diatribe.

14. "Zombie girls are hotter than Maxim girls"
True, but a little of both is alright too.

15. "Belloch ate that fly"
There is a scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where it appears that a fly goes right into the mouth of the actor who plays Belloq. The actor doesn't respond to presence of the fly in his mouth at all. There is a debate about whether he really did eat the fly or if it was some kind of accidental illusion in the filming process. Geeks feel he really ate it since the rest of the movie is so freaking cool anyway.

16. "Luke called Leia 'Carrie'"
In Star Wars after Luke blows up the Death Star and gets out of his X-Wing Fighter while a Princess Leia-led crowd comes running toward him, he lets out an exhuberant yell which sounds suspiciously like "Carrie!" Princess Leia was played by Carrie Fisher and many people feel that Mark Hamill, who played Luke, broke character during that take.

17. "Samwise never quite got the credit he really deserved"
This, of course, is dealing with the character played by Sean Astin intThe Lord of the Rings movies. The author is probably saying this because most of the other important people in the movie went of to Elf-land while he stayed home (wait! did he? oh no. oh well, I am so over those movies and books. we all really overdosed on them). Anyway, he also may be speaking of how Sam really was the only ring-bearer who had the constant focus and never wavered from the goal of destroying the ring... unlike that whining pansy Frodo.

18. "Magic, dreams, music, movies, library cards. Geeks have already inherited the Earth."
Unfortunately geeks have inherited the Earth. But I kind of liked things better when there weren't so many of us.

Monday, August 06, 2007

daffy laffy taffy

Is it just me or are Laffy Taffy jokes getting way too literal?

Here's the first of today's jokes: "How many vampires does it take to put in a light bulb?" I thought for sure that the answer would be something along the lines of "Two. One to put the light bulb in place and one to hold the protective welder's glass so they don't melt." The answer was simply "None. Vampires like the dark."

The second joke went "What is the best way to keep water from running?" Instead of something like "Cut off its legs," the answer was actually "Don't pay the water bill."

These aren't jokes. They're simply common sense.

These are official Laffy Taffy joke numbers 5 and 6 (strawberry).