Thanks everyone for your awesome input on the computer matter. I gotta tell ya, the more I learn about iMacs, the more excited I am to try them out. If nothing else I can at least pad my resume with sweet Mac skillz. I might go pick it up tomorrow. Here are the specs I'm partial to:
Specifications
2.33GHz Intel Core 2 Duo
2GB 667 DDR2 SDRAM - 2x1GB
250GB Serial ATA Drive
ATI Radeon X1600/256MB VRAM
SuperDrive 8X (DVD+R DL/DVD±RW/CD-RW)
Final Cut Express HD preinstalled
Apple Keyboard & Mighty Mouse + Mac OS X (US English)
AppleCare Protection Plan for iMac - Auto-enroll
20-inch widescreen LCD
AirPort Extreme
Bluetooth 2.0 + EDR
I'll probably be buying some kind of Photoshop as well as a new edition of Microsoft Office for OS-X. This could set me back, but at least it will give me something to play with while I'm all poor again and stuff.
In the meantime, I got my old computer back from the shop, so a c-note later and it sorta works again. Right when I got it back I began making back-ups of the essential stuff on there before I get a new computer (or before it crashes again... whatever comes first) and I came across this little gem:
This is one of the oldest films I've ever made. Of the three films I've made, this one is the second oldest. My friend Jeremey Tuck and I collaborated to put this project together. I'm afraid to say, the book is way better in a lot of ways. Some aspects of the story are lost on the screen, such as the relationship with Blind Guy With Bazooka and Dismembered Man. Also, we simply had no budget to simply establish the setting as "the entire universe." Filming was limited to Peter Ivie's house and the parking lot at Albertson's. Keep in mind that this was originally made without the use of video editors. This is especially noticeable between scenes where a lot of essential information was accidentally chopped off due to "on-site editing" (sometimes the editing turned out remarkably well, however (especially during the climactic "spit sequence)). This version is an updated "director's cut" (done without permission of Jeremy Tuck) with effects updated to 19th century standards and actual credits. I might should make a director's commentary with this one if for no other reason than to just explain what's going on. Probably the most important thing to remember is that there are ten different characters in the movie even though we really only had two actors and didn't even bother with wardrobe.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
help me os-1 kenobi, you're my only hope
Okay I don't actually know who or how many of you are out there who actually read this thing, but I could use your help right now.
Once again, my computer is in the shop. I took it in a week ago because it had a hard time connecting to the internet. I assumed it would be an overnight job, but they've run into all sorts of problems fixing it. It's to the point where I'm avoiding calling them to see what's up, partially out of embarrassment for them. They're the ones who supplied me with a new computer when it crashed last time, and I've continued to have problems with it. Those of you even slightly aware of my wired lifestyle know that I've had CONSTANT computer problems for the last FIVE YEARS.
Anyway, I have no doubt that I'll be starting completely over, and not just getting a new CPU and hard drive. I am SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING switching over to Mac. I'm always pretty hesitant about life changes, but at the same time, they usually go smoothly with very little hitch. Leaving Cricket for T-Mobile wasn't that big of a deal at all. I pretty much still use a phone the same way. Snowboarding for skiing went alright as well. It's brought new pleasures, and yet I'm still just as dorky on the slopes. Switching from blondes to brunettes was equally fruitful.
Anyway, I've got lots of options to mull over computer-wise. I look forward to using a Mac for pictures, video editing and publishing reasons. At the same time, I'm worried that I will have to sacrifice computer games (which I guess I don't really play anymore anyway) and internet options. Macs can be more expensive and I'm wondering if they're worth the extra money or if I'll even notice the difference. I hear Macs don't have spyware problems. Whatever the reason, how true is this? What makes a Mac a Mac Pro?
Anyway, more importantly, there are also the issues of public use and portability. My computer is traditionally the one used by visitors in my home. What do you people think specifically about the following options:
1) Get a Mac Pro desktop unit that will sit in the public area of my house on my desk. Will visitors be afraid or ashamed of using a Mac? I like this option because I'd probably rather do video editing on a desktop.
2) Ditch the old computer and just get a new Dell PC desktop. This is the most comfortable and cheap option which would completely eliminate the whole Apple presence.
3) Get my computer back, flaws and all, to use it as the public computer. Proceed to buy a MacBook for myself that I could have in my room, on the bus, on the beach, wherever. I'm hoping that having a more portable computer would help me keep up with blog entries and frivolous surfing. At the same time, I'm afraid I'll use it less because it doesn't have the convenient layout of a desktop environment.
4) I'm strangely leaning toward this one even though it's vomit-inducingly impractical. Get a new MacBook AND get a new Dell PC. I didn't mention above that it wouldn't be too much more expensive to get the Dell since I already have the monitor, keyboard, mouse, camera dock, printer and scanner (the printer and scanner, by the way, aren't working with the current p.o.s. I have in the shop right now).
Is there a combination that I'm not aware of? Should I make Rhett buy a desktop? Nobody's said that yet have they? What do you think? Give it to me. Remember, the sooner you get back to me, the sooner we can be gathered around the computer letting the radiation of YouTube hit us right in the face.
Once again, my computer is in the shop. I took it in a week ago because it had a hard time connecting to the internet. I assumed it would be an overnight job, but they've run into all sorts of problems fixing it. It's to the point where I'm avoiding calling them to see what's up, partially out of embarrassment for them. They're the ones who supplied me with a new computer when it crashed last time, and I've continued to have problems with it. Those of you even slightly aware of my wired lifestyle know that I've had CONSTANT computer problems for the last FIVE YEARS.
Anyway, I have no doubt that I'll be starting completely over, and not just getting a new CPU and hard drive. I am SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING switching over to Mac. I'm always pretty hesitant about life changes, but at the same time, they usually go smoothly with very little hitch. Leaving Cricket for T-Mobile wasn't that big of a deal at all. I pretty much still use a phone the same way. Snowboarding for skiing went alright as well. It's brought new pleasures, and yet I'm still just as dorky on the slopes. Switching from blondes to brunettes was equally fruitful.
Anyway, I've got lots of options to mull over computer-wise. I look forward to using a Mac for pictures, video editing and publishing reasons. At the same time, I'm worried that I will have to sacrifice computer games (which I guess I don't really play anymore anyway) and internet options. Macs can be more expensive and I'm wondering if they're worth the extra money or if I'll even notice the difference. I hear Macs don't have spyware problems. Whatever the reason, how true is this? What makes a Mac a Mac Pro?
Anyway, more importantly, there are also the issues of public use and portability. My computer is traditionally the one used by visitors in my home. What do you people think specifically about the following options:
1) Get a Mac Pro desktop unit that will sit in the public area of my house on my desk. Will visitors be afraid or ashamed of using a Mac? I like this option because I'd probably rather do video editing on a desktop.
2) Ditch the old computer and just get a new Dell PC desktop. This is the most comfortable and cheap option which would completely eliminate the whole Apple presence.
3) Get my computer back, flaws and all, to use it as the public computer. Proceed to buy a MacBook for myself that I could have in my room, on the bus, on the beach, wherever. I'm hoping that having a more portable computer would help me keep up with blog entries and frivolous surfing. At the same time, I'm afraid I'll use it less because it doesn't have the convenient layout of a desktop environment.
4) I'm strangely leaning toward this one even though it's vomit-inducingly impractical. Get a new MacBook AND get a new Dell PC. I didn't mention above that it wouldn't be too much more expensive to get the Dell since I already have the monitor, keyboard, mouse, camera dock, printer and scanner (the printer and scanner, by the way, aren't working with the current p.o.s. I have in the shop right now).
Is there a combination that I'm not aware of? Should I make Rhett buy a desktop? Nobody's said that yet have they? What do you think? Give it to me. Remember, the sooner you get back to me, the sooner we can be gathered around the computer letting the radiation of YouTube hit us right in the face.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
the 29 best songs of 2006 (a couple of them i only heard once)!
***Sorry this took so long to put up! My computer euthanized itself again. I'll probably have to write about it.***
29. "The Adventure" by Angels and Airwaves
I got this cd free from Graywhale for registering up for a membership. I gave it to Rhett because he used to be a big Blink fan. He immediately gave it back because it sucks. I think Angels songs are pretty cool by themselves, but you don't want to listen to more than one of them at a time. I'll also forever remember this song on the graduation episode of The O.C. which is sadly cancelled now. I should probably be blogging about the trauma that's caused me.
28. "When You Were Young" by The Killers
This sort of grew on me after a while, but then got sort of stale. Brandon Flowers talked big all year, but when it came down to delivering the goods all anybody could think was that this is no "Mr. Brightside." Still, it's very fun to sing along to.
27. "Into the Ocean by Blue October
"Hate Me" was one of my very least favorite songs of the year, so this one came as a surprise to me when I discovered I liked it. Absolute stunning melody. One thing I'll always remember about this band is that Zayra's best performance on Rockstar: Supernova was a Blue October song. It was also the song that eliminated her.
26. "I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor" by Arctic Monkeys
I wonder if The Arctic Monkeys are The U.K.'s answer to The Monkees. I didn't hear this song this year as much as I think I should have. Too bad the band wasn't able to exceed the ridiculous expectations set out for them. Stupid British press. Well, they really were fun while they lasted.
25. "Promiscuous" by Nelly Furtado
I think one of the most amusing things to witness in the music scene is when sweet, folksy chicks suddenly skank the shiz out of themselves. Usually they laugh it off and say something like, "It's totally cool that I do it; because, really, It's totally not me. I'm not really a skank, so it's funny." Probably the best definition of a skank is a girl who goes around needing to tell people that she's not a skank. Skank actually might be too harsh a word for Nelly, but it's kind of in that direction. Just a little more promiscuous. The song itself gets stuck in the head too.
24. "You Have Killed Me" by Morrissey
I probably would have given this one a better ranking if not for two reasons. First, I didn't hear it enough. Also, I prefer the darkly humorous Morrissey to the over-the-top Morrissey. Of course if I heard it more, I probably would have gleaned a bunch of funny from it.
23. "American Witch" by Rob Zombie
Here's another one I totally could have used more of. Like Morrissey, Zombie's thematics are near-perfect for me. As a result, he can release something not nearly as infectious as his earlier stuff, but I'd still dig it enough to put it on my list.
22. "Psychological" by Pet Shop Boys
I really only heard this song once and it was during the Pet Shop Boys concert. The concert was beautifully silly and most of the new stuff (especially this song) had a darker, uniquer sound to it.
21. "White and Nerdy" by Weird Al Yankovic
I'm amazed that this (apparently) is his only top ten hit. You'd think I would have heard it more if it was his most popular song ever. Oh well. I've always respected the guy. He doesn't just rip people off, he takes it very very seriously.
20. "I Thought It Was You" by Andy Bell
This is pretty much a plug for his whole solo cd which came out this year. This particular tune is guested by Jake Shears from Scissor Sisters (whose song "I Don't Feel Like Dancing" nearly nearly made this list). Anyway, Bell does a tremendous job here (even more so than in Erasure) of injecting a sort of exuberance into electronic music where there's usually sterility.
19. "Nausea" by Beck
Beck did a couple things that will make me always love him: 1) He made a prominent appearance on a hilarious episode of Futurama and 2) He and his band put in some awesome television performances this past year with this song. Did anyone see the puppets with this song on Saturday Night Live?
18. "Whoo! Alright Yeah.. Uh Huh" by the Rapture
C'mon, you know the title alone ensures it breaking the top 20, right? Great band. Great grooves. More cowbell.
17. "Out of Control" by She Wants Revenge
I can't imagine this band will have much of a lasting effect on the music scene considering that they're pretty much electronic spoken word. This song, however, is fabulous at setting a beat and then setting a mood. Pretty dark-dancey.
16. "Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is" by Jet
Even though most rock critics make fun of this band's lack of depth, but I think their straight-forward sense of rock is simply great. At least I think that when they decide to rock rather than chill out. This song, for example, took me by surprise. It's fun to scream to just like "Cold Hard Bitch" was a couple of years ago, but I had no idea it was them when i first heard it. I actually thought it was a chick singing (a wicked hard-as-nails chick).
15. "Love Like Winter" by A.F.I.
This is a really strange entry. I never much cared for this band, especially the singer's voice. A.F.I. released a few hugely successful songs here in Utah and they must have worn me down for this one. Maybe its timing was good, coming out in the middle of winter and all. I also love the emphasized guitar reverb echo near the beginning of the chorus. I'll always air guitar that part.
14. "Hey There Delilah" by Plain White Ts
Speaking of popular here in Utah... when I first heard this song I was driving alone and I actually said out loud, "IS THIS A JOKE? THIS HAS GOT TO BE A JOKE." 300 listens later and I sing along to every word of this ridiculous gooey sapfest. My favorite set of lines: "Two more years and you'll be done with school and I'll be making history like I do/You'll know it's all because of you,/ we can do whatever we want to/Hey there Delilah, here's to you,/this one's for you." There's nothing like rhyming five lines -- three of which use the same word.
13. "Trouble Sleeping" by Corinne Bailey Rae
Light jazz can be a difficult habit to get into. Personally I think it tends to sound a bit too lazy most of the time. Of course what do I know? I'm still trying to get into it. Corinne Bailey Rae sang part of this song on Studio 60. For some reason I've seen nearly every episode of that show, but I'm not shy about expressing that I'm pretty underwhelmed by it. If nothing else, maybe I was guided to watch just to discover this gem. It's light jazz, but it has a really groovy sly bite to it that I don't even hear in her other songs.
12. "Lali Est Paresseux" by Nellie McKay
Nellie, of course, is my personal high-ranking lady of pop-jazz. I didn't write about it too much, but seeing her perform live in New York was the highlight of that whole trip. Tragically, her cd I've been waiting for a year to come out didn't impress me as much as I felt it should. This song, sung in French, was the big winner. It has Nellie's sense of child-like fun just seeping from it. Definitely a fun one to sing-along to even though I don't understand it. It actually turns out that, translated, it's pretty much gibberish.
11. "Ain't No Other Man" by Christina Aguilera
I've always favored Britney more than Xtina. Everyone knows that Aguilera has way more talent, but I've never really been able to actually enjoy her actual songs as much. She was very very wise to go all retro and pull out the sweet sweet big band horns. Such a joyous throwback actually scored her a spot better than the exquisite Nellie McKay (not an easy feat)! Speaking of throwbacks, did anybody see Idlewild? I really wanted to see it. I'm sure if I did, there'd be an OutKast song somewhere on this list.
10. "Knights of Cydonia" by Muse
At first I thought that Muse evolved into camp from their Absolution days. After actually witnessing them perform this geeked out D&D ode (or whatever the hell it's about, I have no idea) in the flesh standing in front of a sweet stage fan blowing their hair majestically, I humbly stand corrected by their wailing awesomeness.
***Hmm. Wow. I just looked up what some people say this song is about and someone said that Cydonia is the area on Mars where that famous face is at that some people say proves that life existed on Mars. So I guess that means this song is sort of about the last stand of ancient Martians. Whoa! I'm getting so much geek energy right now!***
9. "Le Disko" by Shiny Toy Guns
Sort of an underdog song that lots of people latched onto. Every year I cheer for an underdog that sounds like it was an underdog back in '85. I love the beat of silence.
8. "My Love" by Justin Timberlake
It's a good thing I adore this song because toward the end of the year I would hear it three times a day. It's enjoyable pop subtlety at its finest.
7. "S.O.S." by Rhianna
The very instant I heard it with its Soft Cell sample, I shuddered just a little before realizing that Soft Cell did their own rip-off of "Tainted Love." It's not that I hate covers or samples. I totally don't, I just sometimes worry that people don't acknowledge the source material. This one of course is unique. Rhianna sampled from a song that is a cover of another song. I bet it gave the record company lawyers quite a headache. Anyway, I very much approve the use of this particular sample. It ultimately created a real fun ride.
6. "Lazy Eye" by Silver Sun Pickups
This one sounds like the meloncholorful groove of Gish-era Smashing Pumpkins. It has a very very pretty build-up that totally calms me down. Easy and dreamy. I hope the song itself isn't about something stressful, because it has the opposite effect with me.
5. "Steady As She Goes" by Raconteurs
Jack White is a hero of mine, so it's wonderful to see him with an actual band. Of course they did write a song that sounds just like "Is She Really Going Out With Him?" by Joe Jackson, but that's a favorite of mine as well.
4. "Martyr" by Depeche Mode
This one went more under the radar than I think it should have. I got into it a lot more than most of the stuff off of Playing the Angel. I'm not totally certain that everyone agrees with me since I don't associate with my fellow Mode-ites nearly as much as I used to. Am I wrong? Is this not actually a really good song? It appears on their new best of compilation and, like "A Pain That I'm Used To" from last year, it really thematically sums up Depeche Mode's music. If you get a chance, check out the promo video the label compiled together for this song. I really think it's cool.
3. "Here It Goes Again" by OK Go
Of course the video for this is probably in my top ten of all-time favorite videos, but unfortunately it was a long time before I realized how catchy the song itself is. Hopefully in the long run the song isn't eclipsed by its video.
2. "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley
You may notice that my entries are getting pretty small. One would consider that I'd talk a lot more about the top picks. Well, I'm tired. Sorry. And anyway, you all know this song. Hopefully Gnarls sticks around. They bring some long-needed new blood for both rock and hip-hop.
1. "I Will Follow You Into the Dark" by Deathcab for Cutie
I listened to hundreds of songs this year, but only one made me cry (well "Crying" by Roy Orbison made me cry, but that one didn't come out this year). Make sure you pick up a Halloween 2006 cd. J.R. did a really fabulous augmented version of this song that will make you cry then scream.
Well, that's it. I do want to throw out a couple of honorable mentions:
"This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race" by Fallout Boy: I don't really like the band or their over-exposure, but all the beginning of this year, this one has been stuck in my head.
"Mother" by Wolfmother: I just bought Guitar Hero II and I got to wail out with this song. It mother-rocks.
The whole Teddybears cd: In my haste, I neglected to pick a song off of here before compiling my list together. The record is actually awesome. It's the guy from Caesars, one of my favorite bands of the last five years. The music, however, is a lot more electronic and dance-driven. Some of the songs are in commercials right now.
29. "The Adventure" by Angels and Airwaves
I got this cd free from Graywhale for registering up for a membership. I gave it to Rhett because he used to be a big Blink fan. He immediately gave it back because it sucks. I think Angels songs are pretty cool by themselves, but you don't want to listen to more than one of them at a time. I'll also forever remember this song on the graduation episode of The O.C. which is sadly cancelled now. I should probably be blogging about the trauma that's caused me.
28. "When You Were Young" by The Killers
This sort of grew on me after a while, but then got sort of stale. Brandon Flowers talked big all year, but when it came down to delivering the goods all anybody could think was that this is no "Mr. Brightside." Still, it's very fun to sing along to.
27. "Into the Ocean by Blue October
"Hate Me" was one of my very least favorite songs of the year, so this one came as a surprise to me when I discovered I liked it. Absolute stunning melody. One thing I'll always remember about this band is that Zayra's best performance on Rockstar: Supernova was a Blue October song. It was also the song that eliminated her.
26. "I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor" by Arctic Monkeys
I wonder if The Arctic Monkeys are The U.K.'s answer to The Monkees. I didn't hear this song this year as much as I think I should have. Too bad the band wasn't able to exceed the ridiculous expectations set out for them. Stupid British press. Well, they really were fun while they lasted.
25. "Promiscuous" by Nelly Furtado
I think one of the most amusing things to witness in the music scene is when sweet, folksy chicks suddenly skank the shiz out of themselves. Usually they laugh it off and say something like, "It's totally cool that I do it; because, really, It's totally not me. I'm not really a skank, so it's funny." Probably the best definition of a skank is a girl who goes around needing to tell people that she's not a skank. Skank actually might be too harsh a word for Nelly, but it's kind of in that direction. Just a little more promiscuous. The song itself gets stuck in the head too.
24. "You Have Killed Me" by Morrissey
I probably would have given this one a better ranking if not for two reasons. First, I didn't hear it enough. Also, I prefer the darkly humorous Morrissey to the over-the-top Morrissey. Of course if I heard it more, I probably would have gleaned a bunch of funny from it.
23. "American Witch" by Rob Zombie
Here's another one I totally could have used more of. Like Morrissey, Zombie's thematics are near-perfect for me. As a result, he can release something not nearly as infectious as his earlier stuff, but I'd still dig it enough to put it on my list.
22. "Psychological" by Pet Shop Boys
I really only heard this song once and it was during the Pet Shop Boys concert. The concert was beautifully silly and most of the new stuff (especially this song) had a darker, uniquer sound to it.
21. "White and Nerdy" by Weird Al Yankovic
I'm amazed that this (apparently) is his only top ten hit. You'd think I would have heard it more if it was his most popular song ever. Oh well. I've always respected the guy. He doesn't just rip people off, he takes it very very seriously.
20. "I Thought It Was You" by Andy Bell
This is pretty much a plug for his whole solo cd which came out this year. This particular tune is guested by Jake Shears from Scissor Sisters (whose song "I Don't Feel Like Dancing" nearly nearly made this list). Anyway, Bell does a tremendous job here (even more so than in Erasure) of injecting a sort of exuberance into electronic music where there's usually sterility.
19. "Nausea" by Beck
Beck did a couple things that will make me always love him: 1) He made a prominent appearance on a hilarious episode of Futurama and 2) He and his band put in some awesome television performances this past year with this song. Did anyone see the puppets with this song on Saturday Night Live?
18. "Whoo! Alright Yeah.. Uh Huh" by the Rapture
C'mon, you know the title alone ensures it breaking the top 20, right? Great band. Great grooves. More cowbell.
17. "Out of Control" by She Wants Revenge
I can't imagine this band will have much of a lasting effect on the music scene considering that they're pretty much electronic spoken word. This song, however, is fabulous at setting a beat and then setting a mood. Pretty dark-dancey.
16. "Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is" by Jet
Even though most rock critics make fun of this band's lack of depth, but I think their straight-forward sense of rock is simply great. At least I think that when they decide to rock rather than chill out. This song, for example, took me by surprise. It's fun to scream to just like "Cold Hard Bitch" was a couple of years ago, but I had no idea it was them when i first heard it. I actually thought it was a chick singing (a wicked hard-as-nails chick).
15. "Love Like Winter" by A.F.I.
This is a really strange entry. I never much cared for this band, especially the singer's voice. A.F.I. released a few hugely successful songs here in Utah and they must have worn me down for this one. Maybe its timing was good, coming out in the middle of winter and all. I also love the emphasized guitar reverb echo near the beginning of the chorus. I'll always air guitar that part.
14. "Hey There Delilah" by Plain White Ts
Speaking of popular here in Utah... when I first heard this song I was driving alone and I actually said out loud, "IS THIS A JOKE? THIS HAS GOT TO BE A JOKE." 300 listens later and I sing along to every word of this ridiculous gooey sapfest. My favorite set of lines: "Two more years and you'll be done with school and I'll be making history like I do/You'll know it's all because of you,/ we can do whatever we want to/Hey there Delilah, here's to you,/this one's for you." There's nothing like rhyming five lines -- three of which use the same word.
13. "Trouble Sleeping" by Corinne Bailey Rae
Light jazz can be a difficult habit to get into. Personally I think it tends to sound a bit too lazy most of the time. Of course what do I know? I'm still trying to get into it. Corinne Bailey Rae sang part of this song on Studio 60. For some reason I've seen nearly every episode of that show, but I'm not shy about expressing that I'm pretty underwhelmed by it. If nothing else, maybe I was guided to watch just to discover this gem. It's light jazz, but it has a really groovy sly bite to it that I don't even hear in her other songs.
12. "Lali Est Paresseux" by Nellie McKay
Nellie, of course, is my personal high-ranking lady of pop-jazz. I didn't write about it too much, but seeing her perform live in New York was the highlight of that whole trip. Tragically, her cd I've been waiting for a year to come out didn't impress me as much as I felt it should. This song, sung in French, was the big winner. It has Nellie's sense of child-like fun just seeping from it. Definitely a fun one to sing-along to even though I don't understand it. It actually turns out that, translated, it's pretty much gibberish.
11. "Ain't No Other Man" by Christina Aguilera
I've always favored Britney more than Xtina. Everyone knows that Aguilera has way more talent, but I've never really been able to actually enjoy her actual songs as much. She was very very wise to go all retro and pull out the sweet sweet big band horns. Such a joyous throwback actually scored her a spot better than the exquisite Nellie McKay (not an easy feat)! Speaking of throwbacks, did anybody see Idlewild? I really wanted to see it. I'm sure if I did, there'd be an OutKast song somewhere on this list.
10. "Knights of Cydonia" by Muse
At first I thought that Muse evolved into camp from their Absolution days. After actually witnessing them perform this geeked out D&D ode (or whatever the hell it's about, I have no idea) in the flesh standing in front of a sweet stage fan blowing their hair majestically, I humbly stand corrected by their wailing awesomeness.
***Hmm. Wow. I just looked up what some people say this song is about and someone said that Cydonia is the area on Mars where that famous face is at that some people say proves that life existed on Mars. So I guess that means this song is sort of about the last stand of ancient Martians. Whoa! I'm getting so much geek energy right now!***
9. "Le Disko" by Shiny Toy Guns
Sort of an underdog song that lots of people latched onto. Every year I cheer for an underdog that sounds like it was an underdog back in '85. I love the beat of silence.
8. "My Love" by Justin Timberlake
It's a good thing I adore this song because toward the end of the year I would hear it three times a day. It's enjoyable pop subtlety at its finest.
7. "S.O.S." by Rhianna
The very instant I heard it with its Soft Cell sample, I shuddered just a little before realizing that Soft Cell did their own rip-off of "Tainted Love." It's not that I hate covers or samples. I totally don't, I just sometimes worry that people don't acknowledge the source material. This one of course is unique. Rhianna sampled from a song that is a cover of another song. I bet it gave the record company lawyers quite a headache. Anyway, I very much approve the use of this particular sample. It ultimately created a real fun ride.
6. "Lazy Eye" by Silver Sun Pickups
This one sounds like the meloncholorful groove of Gish-era Smashing Pumpkins. It has a very very pretty build-up that totally calms me down. Easy and dreamy. I hope the song itself isn't about something stressful, because it has the opposite effect with me.
5. "Steady As She Goes" by Raconteurs
Jack White is a hero of mine, so it's wonderful to see him with an actual band. Of course they did write a song that sounds just like "Is She Really Going Out With Him?" by Joe Jackson, but that's a favorite of mine as well.
4. "Martyr" by Depeche Mode
This one went more under the radar than I think it should have. I got into it a lot more than most of the stuff off of Playing the Angel. I'm not totally certain that everyone agrees with me since I don't associate with my fellow Mode-ites nearly as much as I used to. Am I wrong? Is this not actually a really good song? It appears on their new best of compilation and, like "A Pain That I'm Used To" from last year, it really thematically sums up Depeche Mode's music. If you get a chance, check out the promo video the label compiled together for this song. I really think it's cool.
3. "Here It Goes Again" by OK Go
Of course the video for this is probably in my top ten of all-time favorite videos, but unfortunately it was a long time before I realized how catchy the song itself is. Hopefully in the long run the song isn't eclipsed by its video.
2. "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley
You may notice that my entries are getting pretty small. One would consider that I'd talk a lot more about the top picks. Well, I'm tired. Sorry. And anyway, you all know this song. Hopefully Gnarls sticks around. They bring some long-needed new blood for both rock and hip-hop.
1. "I Will Follow You Into the Dark" by Deathcab for Cutie
I listened to hundreds of songs this year, but only one made me cry (well "Crying" by Roy Orbison made me cry, but that one didn't come out this year). Make sure you pick up a Halloween 2006 cd. J.R. did a really fabulous augmented version of this song that will make you cry then scream.
Well, that's it. I do want to throw out a couple of honorable mentions:
"This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race" by Fallout Boy: I don't really like the band or their over-exposure, but all the beginning of this year, this one has been stuck in my head.
"Mother" by Wolfmother: I just bought Guitar Hero II and I got to wail out with this song. It mother-rocks.
The whole Teddybears cd: In my haste, I neglected to pick a song off of here before compiling my list together. The record is actually awesome. It's the guy from Caesars, one of my favorite bands of the last five years. The music, however, is a lot more electronic and dance-driven. Some of the songs are in commercials right now.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
a spiteful suicide
So guess what place ran out of curry again today. I'll give you a hint. It rhymes with shmeriyaki shmix at shmeast shmay shmoulevard in shmprovo. You can check out what I've already disgustedly written about this place here. Their record for having the most popular meal there is now LESS THAN 50%. This time when they broke the news to me, I didn't even acknowledge them. I muttered "Son of a..." and then just drove off.
I'm seriously considering buying the domain name www.theteriyakistixateastbayinprovosucks.com
As a result, I went to Taco Bell. Too soon, you think?
If I happen to die from eating Taco Bell food, I just want all my friends and family know that I love them and I'm sorry for leaving you and that the Teriyaki Stix at East Bay doesn't actually serve food. Mom can have all my money, Maria can have my snowboard, Rhett can have my mug collection and the rest of you can fight over my cds and dvds.
Despite killing people every once in a while, the folks at Taco Bell had what I wanted, promptly served me, asked if I wanted condiments and were just plain friendly in general. Of course I STILL don't know the difference between a chalupa and a gordita. Isn't one supposed to have a hard shell?
By the way, my list of the top 29 songs of 2006 is still coming (if I survive)!
I'm seriously considering buying the domain name www.theteriyakistixateastbayinprovosucks.com
As a result, I went to Taco Bell. Too soon, you think?
If I happen to die from eating Taco Bell food, I just want all my friends and family know that I love them and I'm sorry for leaving you and that the Teriyaki Stix at East Bay doesn't actually serve food. Mom can have all my money, Maria can have my snowboard, Rhett can have my mug collection and the rest of you can fight over my cds and dvds.
Despite killing people every once in a while, the folks at Taco Bell had what I wanted, promptly served me, asked if I wanted condiments and were just plain friendly in general. Of course I STILL don't know the difference between a chalupa and a gordita. Isn't one supposed to have a hard shell?
By the way, my list of the top 29 songs of 2006 is still coming (if I survive)!
Monday, January 01, 2007
the top 29 movies of 2006 (in other words a list of the movies i saw this past year)
29. Lady in the Water
This year I had a really hard time picking my least favorite of the year, so I had to sort of settle on this one. Ultimately, and unfortunately, the fact that it was an M. Knight Shyalaman flick is ultimately what did it in. I suppose the disappointment was only amplified when the movie was delivered by the same guy who did some of my all-time favorite movies. I know I'm not supposed to care so much about the pay-off in this one, but it certainly would have helped if I cared enough about the story and the fable and the magic without an end payoff.
28. Marie Antoinette
Fortunately this had an awesome soundtrack with The Strokes, Gang of Four and The Cure to ultimately redeem it from not being the worst movie of the year. I know I don't usually care for modern music in period pieces, but more modern music would have been more helpful. It's actually not that I hate modern music in period pieces... usually the problem is in the execution. It tends to be very very distracting. This movie could've used the diversion. I couldn't really latch onto the message. I saw a lot of senseless shots of Marie hanging out, but her conflict strangely wasn't fleshed out at all.
27. Last Holiday
Queen Latifah and her smugness have always bugged pretty hard. The annoying thing about this movie is that the characters in the movie absolutely adore her character although she's annoying.
26. Stick It
I hate shows about arrogant young athletes who have a hard-as-nails coach with whom they butt heads, but ultimately come to terms with teamwork. Fortunately this movie forsakes that formula half-way through and becomes a protest piece for unfair competitive gymnastics judging. Wait a minute! That storyline is all over the place! May as well stick it to a movie that doesn't even stick to a storyline. Lose-lose of course, since I already didn't care for the original storyline. Whoops.
25. Just My Luck
This is that one this year with Lindsey Lohan. Fortunately, I saw it at the drive-in, so just my luck, I guess I didn't really see it.
24. The Break-Up
Every year there's a movie like this on my list. A rom-com offshoot with big stars THAT ISN'T FUNNY. This thing had so much potential. There is a lot of comedic promise in a movie that bases it's whole concept on the worst part of relationships. Instead, it tried to speak to our emotions. Some people chided the people who didn't like the movie because the main characters don't wind up back together. I chide the people who really liked this movie for its realism, by countering that it was also wicked dull. Oh, and also, couldn't they possibly find a gayer song for that guy to sing than "Owner of a Lonely Heart?" I personally own at least 500 songs way gayer than that.
23. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
I don't have to tell you about this one. We all saw it. But let me ask you this: does anybody remember it?
22. Employee of the Month
Dane Cook and Dax Shepherd are funny. Jessica Simpson and Pedro are less fun to be around. Oh well, this one fell right where it should. I sort of hope Dane Cook cools it a little in 2007. He's loud enough as a comedian, so I get I huge headache when I see and hear him everywhere else.
21. The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
I went out of my way to see this because I've always been fascinated by Tokyo and because (for reasons I've never been able to explain) the original Fast and the Furious was my favorite movie from that year. Did I like this movie though? I can't remember.
20. The Illusionist
It's too bad there were two turn-of-the-century magician movies this year. Otherwise, I might have given this one a better score. It was okay, but not interesting enough to warrant sitting in the uncomfortable Broadway Theatre. Also, Edward Norton has been way too full of himself lately.
19. Step Up
This year's dance movie. I wonder if anyone would notice if the biz didn't put out a movie about dancing in 2007. According to my girlfriend and my friendgirls, this was the best movie of 2006. I guess that means that the male lead was way hotter than the female lead.
18. Iceage: The Meltdown
I didn't see the first Iceage movie, so I was lost through the whole thing. That squirrel and nut bit was plenty funny though.
17. She's the Man
This was the high-school movie I saw this year. It's really strange that I love high school movies so much, considering how reclusive I was during high school. I guess it's just because I started getting into high school movies ten years before I ever went to high school. Anyway, this one is about a girl who pulls a Yentl and dresses up as a boy to get on the soccer team. Of course it's played for absurdity. The sexy guy who was in Step Up was in this one and for my benefit he was funnier in this one.
16. Akeelah and the Bee
Spelling bees are so hot right now, but I don't know how much more bee I can take. This, of course, is a standard involving drama with all sorts of conflict and trust issues and pride and stuff. One thing I never figured out though: what mother thinks her daughter winning a spelling bee is a step backward?
15. Superman Returns
It'd be nice if Bryan Singer hung around to finish off the X-men series instead of moving over to the Superman one. That way I think X-men would have scored higher this year. Anyways, this movie suffered a little with the enjoyable balance between tongue-in-cheek and straightforwardness. The original movies did a much better job at that. It's a hard battle. At times I wanted it to be more serious and at other times I wanted Parker Posey to make me laugh more.
14. Monster House
Coming of age animated Halloween movie. Lots of right ingredients. I'm not sold on the computer animation with human characters. They tend to look pretty spooky and not in the good Halloween way.
13. Mission Impossible III
At least J.J. Abrams made it better than MI:II. What it really needed was more Philip Seymour Hoffman. A good action movie is more driven by the villain. Also, I would have done one scene differently. Remember the part where Tom Cruise goes into the building to recover something, but they didn't show it? He just comes flying out a window and we don't know what happened in there. It would have been better and funnier if Jonathan Rhys Meyers or another underused member of the team did that particular task and we kept the point-of-view of Tom Cruise intact (since it's pretty much his p.o.v. for the rest of the movie anyway). That way we don't break the storytelling mechanisms already set up, we're treated to an out-of-place unknown sequence that could be played for laughs and it doesn't look like they just ran out of money for another special effects sequence.
12. Dreamgirls
This was the last movie I saw. One could possibly say I prepared well to watch it by viewing five Broadway musicals during the course of the year. It was nice to see Eddie Murphy in a performance I appreciate. Reminded me of his stellar James Brown impersonation on Saturday Night Live. What makes next to no sense, however, is Jennifer Hudson being nominated in the Golden Globe for best supporting actress while Beyonce Knowles nabs the best actress nomination. Rest assured, if the roles were reversed we'd probably still see Beyonce running for best actress.
11. The Heart of the Game
I thought I'd do myself a favor and bunch all the documentaries I saw all right in a row. This one was pretty good. It's about girls' basketball. I saw it on a plane. The guy next to me didn't have headphones and kept asking me what was going on. So people always tell me that girls can't play basketball, but they do have two things: 1) they can play better than me. 2) Their intensity is only amplified by all that estrogen.
10. An Inconvenient Truth
I love hearing people discuss the environmental fate of the world. Either we're all going to die real soon or there is absolutely nothing to worry about. The wide expanse between the arguments leaves a lot of room for just about anything (which makes me excited to fill my recycling bin and save up for a Prius). In the meantime, I liked Al Gore's movie because he showed clips from Futurama.
9. Who Killed the Electric Car?
Speaking of Prii... this one is far less an environmental documentary than it is a study on the many interests involved in the marketing and consumption of a product. In this case, it's a super ugly car with a cool engine.
8. Scoop
Some Woody Allen movies are worse than others, but I've never seen one I didn't enjoy (although I was with a group of people who started Bananas but the group got bored and we turned it off). Anyway, this one is a step down in quality from his last one, but at least it was more enjoyable. It was probably best that Allen did something light after the 5000 pound weight which was Match Point. Lots of the jokes were groaners, but I really appreciated Allen's humorous chemistry with Scarlett Johanssen.
7. The Queen
I never imagined the royal family even had any pull in the U.K anymore. Pretty interesting to see things from the royal side. Maybe we were wrong to start the Revolution. Nah, things are probably better this way.
6. X-Men: The Last Stand
No matter what if you make a movie about my favorite comic book team, you'll score your movie in my top ten. Like I implied earlier, though, something is missing without Bryan Singer. It might be more intimate characterizations or something. Still, on the other hand, we're treated to giant mutant battles and a wicked sexy killer Jean Grey/Phoenix, so it's still pretty exhilarating for me.
5. V for Vendetta
I snuck out of work to watch this. For some reason I don't remember everything about it, except that it looked smooth and stylized and perfect. Pretty much it made me drool over the upcoming Watchmen adaptation.
4. Rocky Balboa
In essence this is really a remake of the first Rocky film and it uses the same formula that totally works. Drab depressing beginnings, followed by building trust with the support group, followed by the intense training sequence accompanied by a sudden burst of 70s music followed by the most intense fight you've ever seen. Of course, the fight wouldn't be nearly as good without all the building up to it, but that's the beauty of it. The payoff becoming a real payoff because of our investment in it.
3. Casino Royale
I miss the old James Bond, but this grit is definitely a direction I don't mind seeing the franchise take. That chase scene at the beginning was pretty awesome wasn't it? I'd love to get that guy on a superhero team. His special power could be running away.
2. The Prestige
Here's a list of stuff that anyone could use to make a movie I would automatically totally dig. Get the guy who plays Batman and get the guy who plays Wolverine and pit them against each other. Have both characters narrate the film at different times and through the eyes of the opposite character. Enable both characters to be cunning enough to not only hide their tricks from each other, but also hide them from us. Set the film in the past but also bring ridiculous science-fiction elements to it. Get David Bowie.
1. Match Point
One reason I picked this one as my number one is that hardly anyone I know saw it, so nobody can disagree with me. The biggest reason I picked it is because it was ridiculously effective in what it set out to do, which, to my understanding, was to make me as uncomfortable as humanly possible. I am aware of lots of people who loathed it for that very reason. For the same reason Rocky builds and builds on heroism, this one builds and builds on wickedness. Unfortunately, we don't realize that until we're too absorbed. It's kind of weird sitting in the theater completely uncomfortable, followed by telling everyone how brilliantly Woody Allen made it happen. Wait! This is a Woody Allen movie? Holy heck.
This year I had a really hard time picking my least favorite of the year, so I had to sort of settle on this one. Ultimately, and unfortunately, the fact that it was an M. Knight Shyalaman flick is ultimately what did it in. I suppose the disappointment was only amplified when the movie was delivered by the same guy who did some of my all-time favorite movies. I know I'm not supposed to care so much about the pay-off in this one, but it certainly would have helped if I cared enough about the story and the fable and the magic without an end payoff.
28. Marie Antoinette
Fortunately this had an awesome soundtrack with The Strokes, Gang of Four and The Cure to ultimately redeem it from not being the worst movie of the year. I know I don't usually care for modern music in period pieces, but more modern music would have been more helpful. It's actually not that I hate modern music in period pieces... usually the problem is in the execution. It tends to be very very distracting. This movie could've used the diversion. I couldn't really latch onto the message. I saw a lot of senseless shots of Marie hanging out, but her conflict strangely wasn't fleshed out at all.
27. Last Holiday
Queen Latifah and her smugness have always bugged pretty hard. The annoying thing about this movie is that the characters in the movie absolutely adore her character although she's annoying.
26. Stick It
I hate shows about arrogant young athletes who have a hard-as-nails coach with whom they butt heads, but ultimately come to terms with teamwork. Fortunately this movie forsakes that formula half-way through and becomes a protest piece for unfair competitive gymnastics judging. Wait a minute! That storyline is all over the place! May as well stick it to a movie that doesn't even stick to a storyline. Lose-lose of course, since I already didn't care for the original storyline. Whoops.
25. Just My Luck
This is that one this year with Lindsey Lohan. Fortunately, I saw it at the drive-in, so just my luck, I guess I didn't really see it.
24. The Break-Up
Every year there's a movie like this on my list. A rom-com offshoot with big stars THAT ISN'T FUNNY. This thing had so much potential. There is a lot of comedic promise in a movie that bases it's whole concept on the worst part of relationships. Instead, it tried to speak to our emotions. Some people chided the people who didn't like the movie because the main characters don't wind up back together. I chide the people who really liked this movie for its realism, by countering that it was also wicked dull. Oh, and also, couldn't they possibly find a gayer song for that guy to sing than "Owner of a Lonely Heart?" I personally own at least 500 songs way gayer than that.
23. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
I don't have to tell you about this one. We all saw it. But let me ask you this: does anybody remember it?
22. Employee of the Month
Dane Cook and Dax Shepherd are funny. Jessica Simpson and Pedro are less fun to be around. Oh well, this one fell right where it should. I sort of hope Dane Cook cools it a little in 2007. He's loud enough as a comedian, so I get I huge headache when I see and hear him everywhere else.
21. The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
I went out of my way to see this because I've always been fascinated by Tokyo and because (for reasons I've never been able to explain) the original Fast and the Furious was my favorite movie from that year. Did I like this movie though? I can't remember.
20. The Illusionist
It's too bad there were two turn-of-the-century magician movies this year. Otherwise, I might have given this one a better score. It was okay, but not interesting enough to warrant sitting in the uncomfortable Broadway Theatre. Also, Edward Norton has been way too full of himself lately.
19. Step Up
This year's dance movie. I wonder if anyone would notice if the biz didn't put out a movie about dancing in 2007. According to my girlfriend and my friendgirls, this was the best movie of 2006. I guess that means that the male lead was way hotter than the female lead.
18. Iceage: The Meltdown
I didn't see the first Iceage movie, so I was lost through the whole thing. That squirrel and nut bit was plenty funny though.
17. She's the Man
This was the high-school movie I saw this year. It's really strange that I love high school movies so much, considering how reclusive I was during high school. I guess it's just because I started getting into high school movies ten years before I ever went to high school. Anyway, this one is about a girl who pulls a Yentl and dresses up as a boy to get on the soccer team. Of course it's played for absurdity. The sexy guy who was in Step Up was in this one and for my benefit he was funnier in this one.
16. Akeelah and the Bee
Spelling bees are so hot right now, but I don't know how much more bee I can take. This, of course, is a standard involving drama with all sorts of conflict and trust issues and pride and stuff. One thing I never figured out though: what mother thinks her daughter winning a spelling bee is a step backward?
15. Superman Returns
It'd be nice if Bryan Singer hung around to finish off the X-men series instead of moving over to the Superman one. That way I think X-men would have scored higher this year. Anyways, this movie suffered a little with the enjoyable balance between tongue-in-cheek and straightforwardness. The original movies did a much better job at that. It's a hard battle. At times I wanted it to be more serious and at other times I wanted Parker Posey to make me laugh more.
14. Monster House
Coming of age animated Halloween movie. Lots of right ingredients. I'm not sold on the computer animation with human characters. They tend to look pretty spooky and not in the good Halloween way.
13. Mission Impossible III
At least J.J. Abrams made it better than MI:II. What it really needed was more Philip Seymour Hoffman. A good action movie is more driven by the villain. Also, I would have done one scene differently. Remember the part where Tom Cruise goes into the building to recover something, but they didn't show it? He just comes flying out a window and we don't know what happened in there. It would have been better and funnier if Jonathan Rhys Meyers or another underused member of the team did that particular task and we kept the point-of-view of Tom Cruise intact (since it's pretty much his p.o.v. for the rest of the movie anyway). That way we don't break the storytelling mechanisms already set up, we're treated to an out-of-place unknown sequence that could be played for laughs and it doesn't look like they just ran out of money for another special effects sequence.
12. Dreamgirls
This was the last movie I saw. One could possibly say I prepared well to watch it by viewing five Broadway musicals during the course of the year. It was nice to see Eddie Murphy in a performance I appreciate. Reminded me of his stellar James Brown impersonation on Saturday Night Live. What makes next to no sense, however, is Jennifer Hudson being nominated in the Golden Globe for best supporting actress while Beyonce Knowles nabs the best actress nomination. Rest assured, if the roles were reversed we'd probably still see Beyonce running for best actress.
11. The Heart of the Game
I thought I'd do myself a favor and bunch all the documentaries I saw all right in a row. This one was pretty good. It's about girls' basketball. I saw it on a plane. The guy next to me didn't have headphones and kept asking me what was going on. So people always tell me that girls can't play basketball, but they do have two things: 1) they can play better than me. 2) Their intensity is only amplified by all that estrogen.
10. An Inconvenient Truth
I love hearing people discuss the environmental fate of the world. Either we're all going to die real soon or there is absolutely nothing to worry about. The wide expanse between the arguments leaves a lot of room for just about anything (which makes me excited to fill my recycling bin and save up for a Prius). In the meantime, I liked Al Gore's movie because he showed clips from Futurama.
9. Who Killed the Electric Car?
Speaking of Prii... this one is far less an environmental documentary than it is a study on the many interests involved in the marketing and consumption of a product. In this case, it's a super ugly car with a cool engine.
8. Scoop
Some Woody Allen movies are worse than others, but I've never seen one I didn't enjoy (although I was with a group of people who started Bananas but the group got bored and we turned it off). Anyway, this one is a step down in quality from his last one, but at least it was more enjoyable. It was probably best that Allen did something light after the 5000 pound weight which was Match Point. Lots of the jokes were groaners, but I really appreciated Allen's humorous chemistry with Scarlett Johanssen.
7. The Queen
I never imagined the royal family even had any pull in the U.K anymore. Pretty interesting to see things from the royal side. Maybe we were wrong to start the Revolution. Nah, things are probably better this way.
6. X-Men: The Last Stand
No matter what if you make a movie about my favorite comic book team, you'll score your movie in my top ten. Like I implied earlier, though, something is missing without Bryan Singer. It might be more intimate characterizations or something. Still, on the other hand, we're treated to giant mutant battles and a wicked sexy killer Jean Grey/Phoenix, so it's still pretty exhilarating for me.
5. V for Vendetta
I snuck out of work to watch this. For some reason I don't remember everything about it, except that it looked smooth and stylized and perfect. Pretty much it made me drool over the upcoming Watchmen adaptation.
4. Rocky Balboa
In essence this is really a remake of the first Rocky film and it uses the same formula that totally works. Drab depressing beginnings, followed by building trust with the support group, followed by the intense training sequence accompanied by a sudden burst of 70s music followed by the most intense fight you've ever seen. Of course, the fight wouldn't be nearly as good without all the building up to it, but that's the beauty of it. The payoff becoming a real payoff because of our investment in it.
3. Casino Royale
I miss the old James Bond, but this grit is definitely a direction I don't mind seeing the franchise take. That chase scene at the beginning was pretty awesome wasn't it? I'd love to get that guy on a superhero team. His special power could be running away.
2. The Prestige
Here's a list of stuff that anyone could use to make a movie I would automatically totally dig. Get the guy who plays Batman and get the guy who plays Wolverine and pit them against each other. Have both characters narrate the film at different times and through the eyes of the opposite character. Enable both characters to be cunning enough to not only hide their tricks from each other, but also hide them from us. Set the film in the past but also bring ridiculous science-fiction elements to it. Get David Bowie.
1. Match Point
One reason I picked this one as my number one is that hardly anyone I know saw it, so nobody can disagree with me. The biggest reason I picked it is because it was ridiculously effective in what it set out to do, which, to my understanding, was to make me as uncomfortable as humanly possible. I am aware of lots of people who loathed it for that very reason. For the same reason Rocky builds and builds on heroism, this one builds and builds on wickedness. Unfortunately, we don't realize that until we're too absorbed. It's kind of weird sitting in the theater completely uncomfortable, followed by telling everyone how brilliantly Woody Allen made it happen. Wait! This is a Woody Allen movie? Holy heck.
Sunday, December 24, 2006
festivus exitus
So Festivus 2006 ended a few hours ago. Now for the Airing of Grievances.
The Carl's Junior on State Street and 2nd: Why do you always "run out of ice cream" whenever we go through the drive-thru? Don't make us go in there and talk to you face-to-face for our shakes (because that's the only way you'll give them to us). We don't want to deal with you (just like you don't want to deal with us). You're in a prime location. Be nice to your customers. At least give them what they pay for.
The Teriyaki Stix in East Bay: I realize that you run out of curry half the time I go there, but the day you ran out of rice really floored me. Rice. Seriously. You're a freaking Japanese restaurant. How is that even possible? You should always have a silo of rice on hand. And also, if you don't have the curry, you should charge me the curry price for whatever I order instead. I don't just order the curry because it's the nicest thing on the menu.
All Wendy's everywhere: If you're not going to put ketchup in my to-go bag, at least ask me if I want any. You could also ask me if I want the salt you insist on putting in the bag every single time. Just so you know, I don't want the salt and never will.
The lights in my house: You burn out too much and the ceiling is way to tall to replace you. What, do you think I'm made of tallness?
People I drive with on the freeway every single day: Okay, just so you know, here's the breakdown of what speed you should drive. Left lane -- 80 mph. Middle lane -- 75 mph. Right lane -- 70 mph. There. It's solidified. It's no longer arbitrary. Stop going 68 in the left lane. It's insulting and impractical. And those of you who still insist on tailgating me while i'm hitting 83 -- get over yourselves. What? Are you in labor or something? Your job or affair or vacation can wait six seconds.
People who bring their babies to the movie theater: Do you honestly think you have a right to even see movies any more? Yeah, I know sitters can be expensive, but your lives are over. Deal with it. Don't make our lives over too. I don't want to have to make your kid an orphan. The kid deserves to go to the movies when he's old enough and not with you. Oh, and if you're still insisting on doing it, don't sit in the middle aisles. Sit on the crappy side aisles.
All restaurant servers in this state: I know it's really really really hard to divide the check between ten people, but it's nearly impossible for the people eating to do it without a check dividing computer and a credit card reader like you have. We know you can do it, so be nice and at least ask us if we'd like it divided. No more of this sneaking a single check in just because there's a chance that somehow one person is somehow going to pay for the entire meal. You know very very well that's not the case. Also, Don't blow me off when I eat alone. Yeah, I'm not trying to impress anyone and yeah, a generous tip on a single eight dollar meal would only be two bucks; but for crying out loud don't just leave me sitting there unhelped for twenty freaking minutes.
Our mailman: Stop reading our magazines and delivering them a month later. Also, being a mailman requires you to not only bring us mail, but also take mail we leave for you to deliver. It's almost as important.
Will Ferrell: For some reason, you're not funny in movies. I really liked you on Saturday Night Live, but in movies... nope.
Snow Patrol: I'm so freaking sick of your song and I haven't even heard it all the way through.
My computer: The printer doesn't work. Everything connected by USB needs drivers installed on every use. Things run slow. Second Life lags and then the controls get taken over and my avatar walks into the ocean. What's up? Why don't you cooperate with me? I could go get a Mac you know.
Janice Dickinson: How did you get on every single channel from 53-59?
Radio From Hell: I would listen to anybody else who had dry humor such as yours, but somehow, somehow, didn't talk about themselves 95% of the time. And as for that time when I emailed and asked what show that Gilmore Girls parody audio drop you used once came from and you emailed me back and told me to listen to Radio From Hell On Demand in order to hear it again? Screw you. I know your contracts may be up soon and you might take your show on the road somewhere. I just can't wait to see how well of a reception you receive in any other market in the entire world.
CSI: Are you really the most watched show on TV, because I don't know anybody who watches you.
I got more. I know I do, but Festivus has passed and I'm already well into Christmas Eve. Do you have an Airing of Grievances? Do tell. Please.
The Carl's Junior on State Street and 2nd: Why do you always "run out of ice cream" whenever we go through the drive-thru? Don't make us go in there and talk to you face-to-face for our shakes (because that's the only way you'll give them to us). We don't want to deal with you (just like you don't want to deal with us). You're in a prime location. Be nice to your customers. At least give them what they pay for.
The Teriyaki Stix in East Bay: I realize that you run out of curry half the time I go there, but the day you ran out of rice really floored me. Rice. Seriously. You're a freaking Japanese restaurant. How is that even possible? You should always have a silo of rice on hand. And also, if you don't have the curry, you should charge me the curry price for whatever I order instead. I don't just order the curry because it's the nicest thing on the menu.
All Wendy's everywhere: If you're not going to put ketchup in my to-go bag, at least ask me if I want any. You could also ask me if I want the salt you insist on putting in the bag every single time. Just so you know, I don't want the salt and never will.
The lights in my house: You burn out too much and the ceiling is way to tall to replace you. What, do you think I'm made of tallness?
People I drive with on the freeway every single day: Okay, just so you know, here's the breakdown of what speed you should drive. Left lane -- 80 mph. Middle lane -- 75 mph. Right lane -- 70 mph. There. It's solidified. It's no longer arbitrary. Stop going 68 in the left lane. It's insulting and impractical. And those of you who still insist on tailgating me while i'm hitting 83 -- get over yourselves. What? Are you in labor or something? Your job or affair or vacation can wait six seconds.
People who bring their babies to the movie theater: Do you honestly think you have a right to even see movies any more? Yeah, I know sitters can be expensive, but your lives are over. Deal with it. Don't make our lives over too. I don't want to have to make your kid an orphan. The kid deserves to go to the movies when he's old enough and not with you. Oh, and if you're still insisting on doing it, don't sit in the middle aisles. Sit on the crappy side aisles.
All restaurant servers in this state: I know it's really really really hard to divide the check between ten people, but it's nearly impossible for the people eating to do it without a check dividing computer and a credit card reader like you have. We know you can do it, so be nice and at least ask us if we'd like it divided. No more of this sneaking a single check in just because there's a chance that somehow one person is somehow going to pay for the entire meal. You know very very well that's not the case. Also, Don't blow me off when I eat alone. Yeah, I'm not trying to impress anyone and yeah, a generous tip on a single eight dollar meal would only be two bucks; but for crying out loud don't just leave me sitting there unhelped for twenty freaking minutes.
Our mailman: Stop reading our magazines and delivering them a month later. Also, being a mailman requires you to not only bring us mail, but also take mail we leave for you to deliver. It's almost as important.
Will Ferrell: For some reason, you're not funny in movies. I really liked you on Saturday Night Live, but in movies... nope.
Snow Patrol: I'm so freaking sick of your song and I haven't even heard it all the way through.
My computer: The printer doesn't work. Everything connected by USB needs drivers installed on every use. Things run slow. Second Life lags and then the controls get taken over and my avatar walks into the ocean. What's up? Why don't you cooperate with me? I could go get a Mac you know.
Janice Dickinson: How did you get on every single channel from 53-59?
Radio From Hell: I would listen to anybody else who had dry humor such as yours, but somehow, somehow, didn't talk about themselves 95% of the time. And as for that time when I emailed and asked what show that Gilmore Girls parody audio drop you used once came from and you emailed me back and told me to listen to Radio From Hell On Demand in order to hear it again? Screw you. I know your contracts may be up soon and you might take your show on the road somewhere. I just can't wait to see how well of a reception you receive in any other market in the entire world.
CSI: Are you really the most watched show on TV, because I don't know anybody who watches you.
I got more. I know I do, but Festivus has passed and I'm already well into Christmas Eve. Do you have an Airing of Grievances? Do tell. Please.
Friday, December 22, 2006
souls dissed
So I guess today is the winter solstice...
I've always considered it the happiest day of the year...
Because things can only look up after you spend your time in the maximum amount of darkness.
Look alive, the light is coming again.
Better sacrifice a virgin just to be safe though.
I've always considered it the happiest day of the year...
Because things can only look up after you spend your time in the maximum amount of darkness.
Look alive, the light is coming again.
Better sacrifice a virgin just to be safe though.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
bring on the greed!
I just got back from doing all my shopping. I did it all in one place and I put very little thought into what I got for people (as many of you will soon see). 'Tis a shame I suppose since last year's gifts were pretty dang cool.
Anyway, just because I haven't been thoughtful, it doesn't mean you don't have to be! Here's a list of some surprisingly thoughtful things you can get for me.
1. Nintendo Wii
Yeah, I know I told everybody I wanted a PS3, but that's only because the good folks at Insomniac, my favorite game developer, are making games exclusively for Sony. I switched over to the Wii when I saw how Nintendo used a goofy gimmick to inject a sort of social party aspect to video games. Maybe I can get some exercise with this thing. Plus I'm saving you all money. PS3s are like 300 bucks more expensive.
2. Numark BP Battle Pak
Yeah, I plan on laying down some freaky beats. Also the turntable I normally use is 20 years old. I've got lots of vinyl just aching to be spun.
3. Zune
One of these days I'm going to get an iPod, but until that day and as long as you're buying me gifts, I'd love to see how well one of these things works.
4. Yamaha CPX700 Acoustic-Electric GuitarIf my life is less than ideal, I think I can safely say that the reason for that would be that I don't actually play or own a guitar (specifically this cool blue number that plugs easily into amps while retaining the gorgeously intimate experience of an acoustic guitar).
6. Shadow Mica Scion XbHey what a cute little clown car! I still want one of these. It's the only car I can stand up in. I also would like it tricked out to include a new Prius plug-in electrical hybrid engine and a front bench seat.
EDIT: 7. Guitar Hero II for Playstation 2
I can't believe I forgot I want this! If I can't have a guitar... I mean if I can't play a guitar, I should at least get this game. I should at least be able to pretend to wail on the guitar like a ninja after a fresh kill. I'm too lazy to put a link up. Just go to Target or something and pick it up and I'll be happy.
If you're feeling cheap, feel free to get me something on my Christmas wishlist from 2004 or last year (with the exceptions of Home Movies Seasons 1-4, M*A*S*H Season 4, Music from the O.C. Mix #2 on cd, Interpol: Antics on cd, Dance Dance Revolution for the PS2, Karaoke Revolution for the PS2, snowboard boots, basketball shoes, New Order: A Collection on dvd, bathrobe, customized Converse shoes, Star Wars Battlefront II for PS2, PS2 controller, The Klingon Dictionary, Auto Repair for Dummies and Fargo Rock City)
Seriously though, the hardest part about shopping is trying as hard as I possibly can not to buy all the stuff I want. It's not hard to shop for me. I like so much stuff. If something has anything to do with Star Trek or ninjas or synthesisers or animation, I probably won't throw it on the ground and jump on it when you give it to me.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
new york city by the pictures
Okay, this one wasn't actually taken in New York. It's at the Cincinnati airport. I thought it was a very funny and disturbing sign.
I think that tiny little Island may have had the Statue of Liberty on it. Not sure. I totally thought it was Ellis Island and the statue was right there, but the plane kept flying for ten minutes after I took the photo.
This of course is Rockefeller Center. You can kind of see the surfing Apollo or Greek god or whatever it is at the head of the skating rink. Also notice the Christmas tree. Both the rink and the tree are way smaller than we thought.
This cheesecake sampler from room service cost Maria's company 20 bucks.
And right in the center of it all "IS THE MILFORD PLAZA!"
That's our hotel right there. We should have gotten a discount with all the ad space.
Here's NYU, or at least a flag from it. A funny thing happened at NYU. I'll tell you later.
There's the Empire State Building. I know it looks Photoshopped in, but it's just a nostalgic-looking picture. Also notice the nifty cathedral. I loved the cathedrals in the middle of the city. It reminded me of... home.
The sign out front of the Museum of Cartoon and Comic Art. I had to ask three people how to get there before finding this sign.
I did go into Macy's and it was a ginormous headache. Some of the escalators were still made of wood.
We stopped here by chance on the way to Jersey Boys. Turns out (I think) it's the same restaurant frequented by Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm. The only episode of that show I ever saw was the one where he goes into this restaurant trying to get his name on one of the sandwiches. All the sandwiches in the place were named after celebrities. We ordered the "Bette Midler," or as our waiter knows it, "#6." It was salmon on pumpernickel. Pretty gross.
The view from the hotel suite. Glitzy.
That's me in front of the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
I love this license plate. It's a Mets plate with a Jets border. My worst nightmare came true taking this photo when the owner came out wondering what I was doing. He was cool though.
I'm pretty sure Mendy's (lousy picture, sorry) is the restaurant in Seinfeld where Banya keeps pestering Jerry to take him.
Yeah, there's a ferris wheel inside the Toys R Us at Times Square.
Here's us at Times Square right in front of the Hotel about to get into a cab.
Bye New York! See you in March or so. Tuesday, December 05, 2006
hoping to bump into woody allen
Last Friday was Woody Allen's birthday. We celebrated by watching Manhattan Murder Mystery, which holds a special place in my heart as the first Woody Allen movie I ever saw. I also rented it in commemoration of my upcoming paid time off I'll be spending in Manhattan. I also rented the video game True Crime Streets of New York in order to find my way around (it didn't help all that well). Turns out I have to use up my PTO and Maria happens to have hotel suite accomodations on behalf of her business. As a result, I only need to pay for my flight and I'll get paid while I'm there, so it's a pretty alright gig.
So far the only thing officially on the agenda is the musical High Fidelity. Other than that, we might go ice skating, and maybe another musical (either Avenue Q, Fame Becomes Me or Evil Dead the Musical). The best part of this trip may be the lack of definite plans. Maria has work in the evening which will give me time during the day to hit the Guggenheim or perhaps the Museum of Sex if I want to. I'm thinkin' though, that this will be a giant shopping spree for me. Does anybody need anything from New York at all?
The only other time I've visited the city was earlier this spring, so I don't know how the New York cold will be. Perhaps I'll just do a lot of sleeping in.
So far the only thing officially on the agenda is the musical High Fidelity. Other than that, we might go ice skating, and maybe another musical (either Avenue Q, Fame Becomes Me or Evil Dead the Musical). The best part of this trip may be the lack of definite plans. Maria has work in the evening which will give me time during the day to hit the Guggenheim or perhaps the Museum of Sex if I want to. I'm thinkin' though, that this will be a giant shopping spree for me. Does anybody need anything from New York at all?
The only other time I've visited the city was earlier this spring, so I don't know how the New York cold will be. Perhaps I'll just do a lot of sleeping in.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
slaying the eborsisk
Completely wasting my time has finally paid off.
Remember my friends Steve and Antonio? They were first introduced here and previously seen in the shadows here. Did you read that first link? It's actually pretty important. I spent a lot of time on it so I probably won't repeat much of it. Let me just sum up. Last summer I watched a gameshow on VH-1 called The World Series of Pop Culture. I pretty much knew every answer. My friends Steve and Antonio expressed interest that the three of us should put a team together and try out.
I went with the flow with the understanding that usually these kinds of things just fizzle out. Well, a few hours ago Steve informed me that our applications were in and we would be taking a written pop-culture test on January 27th and a regional qualifier on the 28th. Our team name is "Out of the Way Peck!"
Let me just say that I am a very untalented and insecure in most areas, but am SUPREMELY confident in our abilities in this context. If they think us camera-worthy, we will win. I have a very broad pop culture knowledge with specialties in cartoons, teen flicks, light sci-fi and modern music. I believe Steve and Antonio are slightly more specific in their knowledge but they are freaking surgeons at film noir, cult classics and directors.
This isn't to say that we won't prepare at all. We plan on getting together and playing some trivia games, doing a little study, hanging out at imdb.com, etc. We also need people to regularly quiz us with any type of pertinent information. What we need the most help on will probably be costumes. So far my idea is for the three of us to wear viking horns with t-shirts that say "Outof," "theWay" and "Peck." Please, if you have a better idea, let me know.
From now on, all my leisure time will be devoted to preparation. I'll probably be renting a few more movies than usual. Better start with Willow.
Remember my friends Steve and Antonio? They were first introduced here and previously seen in the shadows here. Did you read that first link? It's actually pretty important. I spent a lot of time on it so I probably won't repeat much of it. Let me just sum up. Last summer I watched a gameshow on VH-1 called The World Series of Pop Culture. I pretty much knew every answer. My friends Steve and Antonio expressed interest that the three of us should put a team together and try out.
I went with the flow with the understanding that usually these kinds of things just fizzle out. Well, a few hours ago Steve informed me that our applications were in and we would be taking a written pop-culture test on January 27th and a regional qualifier on the 28th. Our team name is "Out of the Way Peck!"
Let me just say that I am a very untalented and insecure in most areas, but am SUPREMELY confident in our abilities in this context. If they think us camera-worthy, we will win. I have a very broad pop culture knowledge with specialties in cartoons, teen flicks, light sci-fi and modern music. I believe Steve and Antonio are slightly more specific in their knowledge but they are freaking surgeons at film noir, cult classics and directors.
This isn't to say that we won't prepare at all. We plan on getting together and playing some trivia games, doing a little study, hanging out at imdb.com, etc. We also need people to regularly quiz us with any type of pertinent information. What we need the most help on will probably be costumes. So far my idea is for the three of us to wear viking horns with t-shirts that say "Outof," "theWay" and "Peck." Please, if you have a better idea, let me know.
From now on, all my leisure time will be devoted to preparation. I'll probably be renting a few more movies than usual. Better start with Willow.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
virtually disastrous
It all started with the stupid Second Life. That's this virtual online world started by a few people, but maintained and continually created by thousands of online users. Apparently this other world has been steadily built over the years and now would occupy hundreds of acres if it literally existed. The Second Life users seemingly actually inhabit this visual online world. They also trade in various non-real and real world items. Users can take virtual matter and visually adjust it to take on whatever appearance they want. Then they program these items to do whatever they want them to do. Then they sell these items. Apparently, $500,000 runs through the Second Life commerce system everyday. Actual musicians and lecturers make appearances in Second Life. Real world people are actually quitting their real-world jobs to make their fortunes in fantasy land.
Naturally, I want in. I guess I just feel a need to escape from my life of non-stop leisure, endless sushi and a rocking girlfriend.
Secondlife.com seemed welcoming enough. I went ahead and filled a profile out for myself. My visual self (avatar) I selected is a sort of Japanese schoolgirl. They wanted me to join the premium membership for 10 bucks a month. Since I was gung-ho about immersing myself in the virtual world, the thought of such a membership was actually tempting. I was also tempted to register with my credit card. They wouldn't automatically take money but it would enable my avatar to purchase whatever she wanted immediately.
Fortunately I didn't do anything at all financial. After downloading the software on the website and building my avatar I began my Second Life maiden voyage by actually beginning the program. 30 seconds after clicking the Second Life icon I got a message informing me that Second Life couldn't run with my current graphics card. It recommended updating my video drivers, which I attempted to download -- over and over again. Why don't I understand computer drivers? Drivers are like the emo of computers. I never could understand the actual definition of emo. I finally settled on the idea that I needed an entirely new graphics card.
I meticulously jotted down the suggested cards Secondlife.com provided me. One of them was the ATI Radeon 9250. I picked it up when Maria and I went to Best Buy to look for extra televisions.
This brings up two tangents.
Yes, I am shopping for televisions -- well, just one TV anyway. I figured it was time to get a new TV when the coaxial socket in the back slightly broke and got shoved into the TV's interior. Peter Nash was aghast when I actually told him that I'm looking into getting a smaller TV. He figures it's a step down and not worth doing. He's got a pretty good point, but there are certain facts that contribute to my wanting to downgrade. My current TV can only fit in my room if I plop it in my easy chair recliner. When I watch TV while the TV itself is in my recliner it really makes me wonder who's boss. I have this tiny TV tray-stand wheelie thing that I scrounged from my grandma's house which fits into the mini-corner in the middle of my north wall. The largest TV that can fit on that thing is 18.5 inches wide. I'm not talkin' an 18 inch screen here. I'm talkin' 18 inches for the entire box... not diagonally. Actually, I'm sort of looking forward to having a cute little TV. It'll be more convenient to haul it around for stuff like Halo parties plus I can easily maneuver the TV stand to enjoy the TV from my bed or easy chair. And yes, Mom, I know I could have taken Grandma's TV, but I wasn't thinking about getting a new one a couple of weeks ago when you asked me and also I need one with a headphone jack and stereo RCA inputs.
Tangent #2... After Maria and I went to Best Buy we went to Target and saw a line of people camped out in a line outside. We assumed that they were waiting for the Nintendo Wii which I think was going to be released the next day. Inside Target we found the Wii display with appropriate worthless display boxes. We considered snatching one of the display boxes as we walked out of the store. It would have given me the opportunity to have what looked like a Nintendo Wii under my arm when I asked the people in line what they were in line for.
So anyway, I came home and attempted to install the new graphics card. I've never installed a graphics card before (to my recollection), but figured it was easier than putting in a zip drive or fixing a toaster (two things I have been successful at). One of the first things it asked me to do was to remove the computer's pre-existing video drivers. Eegad. Drivers. They freak me out. Video drivers especially. The instruction manual didn't mention a scenario that I totally envisioned happening. Suppose I shut off the video drivers, shut the computer off, install the new card and then find that I get no video anyway, because the video drivers are gone and I can't install the new video drivers if I can't see anything. Hmmm. Also, I wasn't even sure which drivers were the video drivers. At that point I just went to the standard add/remove programs screen instead of going to display adapters in the device manager menu.
Man! This must be wicked boring for all you people out there who consistently rely on your company's IT guy. Sorry.
Anyway, as I was cycling through all the drivers I had at my disposal I decided to click on one whose function I was unsure of. Now, naturally, I figured that the computer would inform me which driver I was selecting instead of instantly deleting it. Imagine my surprise as I helplessly watched a series of prompts informing me that the driver was being completely removed from the system. During the damage assessment I discovered the drivers I removed were the audio drivers instead of the video drivers.
After a delirium of hair-pulling and crying, I managed to get the audio drivers back and downloaded (a few hours later). For some strange reason with all the fail-safes we encounter in Windows every single day, there's no 'undo' for deleting all the audio drivers. So I finally found what I was supposed to delete and got rid of them, despite my fear that I'd never see anything on the monitor again.
Now I was finally ready to install the graphics card. I cracked open the computer's frame and awkwardly ripped out what I supposed was an obsolete card. Then I spent the next 45 minutes trying to jam the new card into the new system. Yeah, after 45 minutes I finally resigned to the fact that my computer didn't have the right PCI slot for the brand new card I got. I sighed and plugged the old one in, praying that everything would still work when I got it back together.
And so it did. I'm totally back where I started, but 85 bucks poorer. I'm hoping Best Buy will take their card back even though I affixed the proof of purchase sticker and also wrote in the instruction manual. Maybe Intrigue Computers will be able to provide the thing with a new PCI slot (if that's even possible) next time I take it in. Hopefully, a solution could be had. People download and enjoy Second Life every single day...why can't I be one of them? You'd think computers and I would get along by now.
Second Life better be wicked good. On second thought, I hope it sucks, because it looks like I'll never go there.
Naturally, I want in. I guess I just feel a need to escape from my life of non-stop leisure, endless sushi and a rocking girlfriend.
Secondlife.com seemed welcoming enough. I went ahead and filled a profile out for myself. My visual self (avatar) I selected is a sort of Japanese schoolgirl. They wanted me to join the premium membership for 10 bucks a month. Since I was gung-ho about immersing myself in the virtual world, the thought of such a membership was actually tempting. I was also tempted to register with my credit card. They wouldn't automatically take money but it would enable my avatar to purchase whatever she wanted immediately.
Fortunately I didn't do anything at all financial. After downloading the software on the website and building my avatar I began my Second Life maiden voyage by actually beginning the program. 30 seconds after clicking the Second Life icon I got a message informing me that Second Life couldn't run with my current graphics card. It recommended updating my video drivers, which I attempted to download -- over and over again. Why don't I understand computer drivers? Drivers are like the emo of computers. I never could understand the actual definition of emo. I finally settled on the idea that I needed an entirely new graphics card.
I meticulously jotted down the suggested cards Secondlife.com provided me. One of them was the ATI Radeon 9250. I picked it up when Maria and I went to Best Buy to look for extra televisions.
This brings up two tangents.
Yes, I am shopping for televisions -- well, just one TV anyway. I figured it was time to get a new TV when the coaxial socket in the back slightly broke and got shoved into the TV's interior. Peter Nash was aghast when I actually told him that I'm looking into getting a smaller TV. He figures it's a step down and not worth doing. He's got a pretty good point, but there are certain facts that contribute to my wanting to downgrade. My current TV can only fit in my room if I plop it in my easy chair recliner. When I watch TV while the TV itself is in my recliner it really makes me wonder who's boss. I have this tiny TV tray-stand wheelie thing that I scrounged from my grandma's house which fits into the mini-corner in the middle of my north wall. The largest TV that can fit on that thing is 18.5 inches wide. I'm not talkin' an 18 inch screen here. I'm talkin' 18 inches for the entire box... not diagonally. Actually, I'm sort of looking forward to having a cute little TV. It'll be more convenient to haul it around for stuff like Halo parties plus I can easily maneuver the TV stand to enjoy the TV from my bed or easy chair. And yes, Mom, I know I could have taken Grandma's TV, but I wasn't thinking about getting a new one a couple of weeks ago when you asked me and also I need one with a headphone jack and stereo RCA inputs.
Tangent #2... After Maria and I went to Best Buy we went to Target and saw a line of people camped out in a line outside. We assumed that they were waiting for the Nintendo Wii which I think was going to be released the next day. Inside Target we found the Wii display with appropriate worthless display boxes. We considered snatching one of the display boxes as we walked out of the store. It would have given me the opportunity to have what looked like a Nintendo Wii under my arm when I asked the people in line what they were in line for.
So anyway, I came home and attempted to install the new graphics card. I've never installed a graphics card before (to my recollection), but figured it was easier than putting in a zip drive or fixing a toaster (two things I have been successful at). One of the first things it asked me to do was to remove the computer's pre-existing video drivers. Eegad. Drivers. They freak me out. Video drivers especially. The instruction manual didn't mention a scenario that I totally envisioned happening. Suppose I shut off the video drivers, shut the computer off, install the new card and then find that I get no video anyway, because the video drivers are gone and I can't install the new video drivers if I can't see anything. Hmmm. Also, I wasn't even sure which drivers were the video drivers. At that point I just went to the standard add/remove programs screen instead of going to display adapters in the device manager menu.
Man! This must be wicked boring for all you people out there who consistently rely on your company's IT guy. Sorry.
Anyway, as I was cycling through all the drivers I had at my disposal I decided to click on one whose function I was unsure of. Now, naturally, I figured that the computer would inform me which driver I was selecting instead of instantly deleting it. Imagine my surprise as I helplessly watched a series of prompts informing me that the driver was being completely removed from the system. During the damage assessment I discovered the drivers I removed were the audio drivers instead of the video drivers.
After a delirium of hair-pulling and crying, I managed to get the audio drivers back and downloaded (a few hours later). For some strange reason with all the fail-safes we encounter in Windows every single day, there's no 'undo' for deleting all the audio drivers. So I finally found what I was supposed to delete and got rid of them, despite my fear that I'd never see anything on the monitor again.
Now I was finally ready to install the graphics card. I cracked open the computer's frame and awkwardly ripped out what I supposed was an obsolete card. Then I spent the next 45 minutes trying to jam the new card into the new system. Yeah, after 45 minutes I finally resigned to the fact that my computer didn't have the right PCI slot for the brand new card I got. I sighed and plugged the old one in, praying that everything would still work when I got it back together.
And so it did. I'm totally back where I started, but 85 bucks poorer. I'm hoping Best Buy will take their card back even though I affixed the proof of purchase sticker and also wrote in the instruction manual. Maybe Intrigue Computers will be able to provide the thing with a new PCI slot (if that's even possible) next time I take it in. Hopefully, a solution could be had. People download and enjoy Second Life every single day...why can't I be one of them? You'd think computers and I would get along by now.
Second Life better be wicked good. On second thought, I hope it sucks, because it looks like I'll never go there.
she smashed the radio with the board of education
I never officially said this, but Maria and I started going out like a month or so ago. We decided we wouldn't do some kind of press release detailing our relationship, but instead see how long it would be before everyone's noticed. Well now 99% of everyone I know has noticed, so the thrill of keeping a relationship secret is now gone. So here it is for everyone I haven't talked to in the last month or so. Here's the press release.
(hi honey!)
(hi honey!)
Friday, November 10, 2006
hardly any reason for this post at all
So there's a really good chance that Abel won't be in on Monday so I gotta think of a few things to talk about for Monday's show. Of course since I'm catering to dozens of fans rather than thousands I could just run a replay. Of course with the same thinking in mind, I could just not worry about who I offend and totally pull a Network moment. Then again maybe I'll pretend we're in the third grade and just read aloud for an hour. The FreeCapitalist himself pulled that stunt once.
So anyway I'm considering talking about Guns 'N Roses cancelling their Maine show because they wouldn't be allowed to drink on stage. Read about it here. Boy, Axl! Talk about missing the ultimate rock 'n roll moment! A true rockstar would have at least broken the law and put on a great show. You just showed that you suck in every way.
Also, I went to Wal-Mart for some reason tonight. Some guy tried to watch me while I tried to play Guitar Hero II. That's not the point I'm trying to make, though. My cashier greeted me friendily. I suppose I mildly appreciated it until I swiped my debit card and before I could proceed with my transaction, the machine asked me "Did your cashier greet you today?" Suddenly all the sincerity that may have been in the original greeting was completely sucked away.
So obviously I'm against Wal-Mart using me to observe the friendliness of their workers. The last thing I need is someone begrudgingly saying hi to me for the sole reason that statistics are being compiled.
So anyway I'm considering talking about Guns 'N Roses cancelling their Maine show because they wouldn't be allowed to drink on stage. Read about it here. Boy, Axl! Talk about missing the ultimate rock 'n roll moment! A true rockstar would have at least broken the law and put on a great show. You just showed that you suck in every way.
Also, I went to Wal-Mart for some reason tonight. Some guy tried to watch me while I tried to play Guitar Hero II. That's not the point I'm trying to make, though. My cashier greeted me friendily. I suppose I mildly appreciated it until I swiped my debit card and before I could proceed with my transaction, the machine asked me "Did your cashier greet you today?" Suddenly all the sincerity that may have been in the original greeting was completely sucked away.
So obviously I'm against Wal-Mart using me to observe the friendliness of their workers. The last thing I need is someone begrudgingly saying hi to me for the sole reason that statistics are being compiled.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
day of the dead and bloated ii
Just about the hardest thing about keeping a regular blog is trying to figure out a clever title for the entries. Fortunately I realized just today that I've been keeping a blog for just over a year now and I can start re-using titles now that the same events are happening over again.
So I guess I can finally relax now that Halloween is over again. It really is more stressful than Christmas now. It should be, as it's the final barrier keeping Christmas preparations from spilling into July. Unfortunately there were some casualties this year. We weren't able to make a film, which I feel sort of guilty about. We have the means, the energy and the locale but inspiration just flew out the window. Hopefully a film will get made before Halloween next year (and it doesn't necessarily need to fall in the Halloween season -- I'm up for the scary business year round (not just when I have an excuse)). No trick-or-treaters came to my new house; at least not that that I know of. It didn't help that I arrived home at like 8:30 and I found that our porchlight doesn't work at the moment. Looks like I'll have to get really depressed and eat all the caramel Reese's Cups and LaffyTaffys all by myself.
I am happy to say that although I didn't finish the lyrics in time, J.R. and I were able to finish this year's Halloween CD. Here's the playlist:
1 Nothing to Fear (But Fear Itself)- Oingo Boingo
2 The Night is Young - Nosferatu
3 Splintered in Her Head - The Cure
4 Is She Weird - The Pixies
5 Light Years - 311
6 Boogie Monster - Gnarls Barkley
7 Psychic Voodoo Doll - Deadbolt
8 Iron Head - Rob Zombie
9 Red Right Hand - Nick Cave
10 Tubular Bells - Book of Love
11 WitchCraft - Frank Sinatra
12 Scary Monsters - David Bowie
13 Torture - The Jacksons
14 Overkill - Men at Work
15 Sell My Soul - Midnight Oil
16 Zee Deveel - Incubus
17 Hellraiser - Ozzie Ozbourne
18 I will Follow You Into the Dark - Death Cab For Cutie
19 Straight To Hell - The Clash
Every song can be individually emailed to you if you so desire to partake. J.R. did an excellent job mixing the film audio with the music, especially for Nothing to Fear (But Fear Itself) and I Will Follow You Into the Dark. I need to get crackin' on those lyrics before J.R. removes me as Co-President of Jon.R Productions.
Oh yeah! Costumes! Check this shiz out:
Hmm. Blogger doesn't seem to be accepting my photos. I'll put them here as soon as I can. Rest assured they are pretty awesome. If I can never get the photos up let me just tell you: I went as The Crow. Actually, I guess that's not actually his name; it's just the name of the movie. Hmm. I went as the guy in The Crow. The girls bought freaky dolls and dresseds as them. My friend Joe dressed as Danialsan dressed as a shower before he gets the crap beaten out of him by ninja skeletons.
Hmm. I guess I'll add the other photos when blogger isn't having a cow (I had to upload the above image as a file rather than a picture so I couldn't format it the same way I normally do).
I've already said this in other media, but I'll go ahead and reinstate here really quick. I don't like the idea of guys dressing like male strippers. Apparently it has become really popular this year I've noticed. I guess the girls are into it, which really makes me regret all the support I've given to girls dressing like the equivalent of prostitutes every year. Oh well, I may not be so social next Halloween. I may become an oldschool Halloween hermit who cares more about the scares than the bares (sorry, that rhyme was pretty groany).
So yeah, I ranted all about that on The Abel Hour yesterday. We had a special show with Scott Johnson, the guy from myextralife.com. He's no slouch in the broadcasting department. He runs his own very entertaining geek podcast and he's been a guest with us before with stuff like this. Anyway, I had a lot to say about Halloween (and Star Trek for some reason) and if you want to, the broadcast is right here (you may as well download it by right clicking instead of just clicking because it's sort of big and you're not gonna wanna have to re-load it when you play it for your friends later)
So I guess I can finally relax now that Halloween is over again. It really is more stressful than Christmas now. It should be, as it's the final barrier keeping Christmas preparations from spilling into July. Unfortunately there were some casualties this year. We weren't able to make a film, which I feel sort of guilty about. We have the means, the energy and the locale but inspiration just flew out the window. Hopefully a film will get made before Halloween next year (and it doesn't necessarily need to fall in the Halloween season -- I'm up for the scary business year round (not just when I have an excuse)). No trick-or-treaters came to my new house; at least not that that I know of. It didn't help that I arrived home at like 8:30 and I found that our porchlight doesn't work at the moment. Looks like I'll have to get really depressed and eat all the caramel Reese's Cups and LaffyTaffys all by myself.
I am happy to say that although I didn't finish the lyrics in time, J.R. and I were able to finish this year's Halloween CD. Here's the playlist:
1 Nothing to Fear (But Fear Itself)- Oingo Boingo
2 The Night is Young - Nosferatu
3 Splintered in Her Head - The Cure
4 Is She Weird - The Pixies
5 Light Years - 311
6 Boogie Monster - Gnarls Barkley
7 Psychic Voodoo Doll - Deadbolt
8 Iron Head - Rob Zombie
9 Red Right Hand - Nick Cave
10 Tubular Bells - Book of Love
11 WitchCraft - Frank Sinatra
12 Scary Monsters - David Bowie
13 Torture - The Jacksons
14 Overkill - Men at Work
15 Sell My Soul - Midnight Oil
16 Zee Deveel - Incubus
17 Hellraiser - Ozzie Ozbourne
18 I will Follow You Into the Dark - Death Cab For Cutie
19 Straight To Hell - The Clash
Every song can be individually emailed to you if you so desire to partake. J.R. did an excellent job mixing the film audio with the music, especially for Nothing to Fear (But Fear Itself) and I Will Follow You Into the Dark. I need to get crackin' on those lyrics before J.R. removes me as Co-President of Jon.R Productions.
Oh yeah! Costumes! Check this shiz out:
Hmm. Blogger doesn't seem to be accepting my photos. I'll put them here as soon as I can. Rest assured they are pretty awesome. If I can never get the photos up let me just tell you: I went as The Crow. Actually, I guess that's not actually his name; it's just the name of the movie. Hmm. I went as the guy in The Crow. The girls bought freaky dolls and dresseds as them. My friend Joe dressed as Danialsan dressed as a shower before he gets the crap beaten out of him by ninja skeletons.
Hmm. I guess I'll add the other photos when blogger isn't having a cow (I had to upload the above image as a file rather than a picture so I couldn't format it the same way I normally do).
I've already said this in other media, but I'll go ahead and reinstate here really quick. I don't like the idea of guys dressing like male strippers. Apparently it has become really popular this year I've noticed. I guess the girls are into it, which really makes me regret all the support I've given to girls dressing like the equivalent of prostitutes every year. Oh well, I may not be so social next Halloween. I may become an oldschool Halloween hermit who cares more about the scares than the bares (sorry, that rhyme was pretty groany).
So yeah, I ranted all about that on The Abel Hour yesterday. We had a special show with Scott Johnson, the guy from myextralife.com. He's no slouch in the broadcasting department. He runs his own very entertaining geek podcast and he's been a guest with us before with stuff like this. Anyway, I had a lot to say about Halloween (and Star Trek for some reason) and if you want to, the broadcast is right here (you may as well download it by right clicking instead of just clicking because it's sort of big and you're not gonna wanna have to re-load it when you play it for your friends later)
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Thursday, October 19, 2006
sold soul lacks opportunity
Earlier this week on the way out of work I audibly remarked to myself "I'd sell my soul for a donut." I said this, of course, because I was hungry and my thoughts turn to famous Homer lines from Simpsons Halloween episodes at this time of year. Another reason is that this season's Halloween cd installment that J.R. and I do every year seems to have thematically taken a turn directly toward something out of Dante's Inferno. Perhaps I shouldn't have watched Hellraiser last week. I certainly wouldn't recommend it to anyone else.
Anyway, after I arrived home 45 minuts later, I discovered a box of Krispy Kreme donuts on the kitchen table. I gobbled one down that had black and orange frosting. The next day I went to Institute partially to save my soul, but mostly to check it out and see if they had anything to eat. After a short wander around, I found my refreshments in the northeast chapel. Donuts. Lots of them. All alone. I had a chocolate donut, and could have eaten several more, but decided against it. Attending class I discovered that the food was meant to be eaten after the session I was attending, so it's a good thing I didn't take any more (since it seemed like the class was heavily overbooked) The next day, I came across no donuts at all.
Halloween has grown in popularity exponentially over the past few years. For the most part I love the fact that people are more heavily embracing my favorite holiday. It means I at least have people to hang out with while the dark festivities happen. This year I'm sort of annoyed.
Last week was Friday the 13th of October, which only happens every few years. It's a wonderful wonderful dual-dark holiday. Unfortunately, I'm not used to making my mid-month dark holiday plans in advance. Anyway, next time you attempt to rent a scary movie on Friday the 13th of October, think ahead. I went to three or four Hollywood videos looking for the aforementioned Hellraiser, but had no luck finding it on DVD (I did finally find it on VHS at the Hollywood on 7th North and Redwood Road). I was actually amazed to see that 90% of ALL horror movies were checked out. I thought it very unusual to see that much bare shelf in the video store. It's as if they were completely renovating. And good luck finding Friday the 13th at all(although I strangely found Friday the 13th Part III (maybe I should have picked it up while I could -- surely I could use some of its lines for this year's Halloween cd considering the timeliness of the date)).
Although I'm way behind in my Halloween duties I figured I could at least paint my phone. Lately, I've gotten into the practice of using nail polish to paint my phone according to the season (WATCH! By next year it'll be huge. Just you wait). Of course I use nail polish because it isn't chalky like acrylic paints so the phone retains its smoothness. Last night I stopped into what I assumed was the best possible place to pick up nail polish -- Rite Aid. I guess not so bizarrely, all the black nail polish of every brand was completely sold out of the store. Instead of getting plain old black I got "Starry Night." Looking at my phone at this very moment I'm realizing that it's a lot closer to purple than black. Unfortunately I went to the store alone and didn't have a set of non-colorblind eyes. I blame Halloween.
I can hardly believe I just said that. Once upon a time I was complaining that people just didn't get into it enough. Now I long for the days when there weren't so many of us.
Last week I had a colonoscopy done. I'm not afraid to admit it. Just like nail polishing phones, colonoscopies are going to be all the rage in the near future. However, they might be more like what they are in this link that Abel sent me here. A week ago this information would have been very useful.
Anyway, after I arrived home 45 minuts later, I discovered a box of Krispy Kreme donuts on the kitchen table. I gobbled one down that had black and orange frosting. The next day I went to Institute partially to save my soul, but mostly to check it out and see if they had anything to eat. After a short wander around, I found my refreshments in the northeast chapel. Donuts. Lots of them. All alone. I had a chocolate donut, and could have eaten several more, but decided against it. Attending class I discovered that the food was meant to be eaten after the session I was attending, so it's a good thing I didn't take any more (since it seemed like the class was heavily overbooked) The next day, I came across no donuts at all.
Halloween has grown in popularity exponentially over the past few years. For the most part I love the fact that people are more heavily embracing my favorite holiday. It means I at least have people to hang out with while the dark festivities happen. This year I'm sort of annoyed.
Last week was Friday the 13th of October, which only happens every few years. It's a wonderful wonderful dual-dark holiday. Unfortunately, I'm not used to making my mid-month dark holiday plans in advance. Anyway, next time you attempt to rent a scary movie on Friday the 13th of October, think ahead. I went to three or four Hollywood videos looking for the aforementioned Hellraiser, but had no luck finding it on DVD (I did finally find it on VHS at the Hollywood on 7th North and Redwood Road). I was actually amazed to see that 90% of ALL horror movies were checked out. I thought it very unusual to see that much bare shelf in the video store. It's as if they were completely renovating. And good luck finding Friday the 13th at all(although I strangely found Friday the 13th Part III (maybe I should have picked it up while I could -- surely I could use some of its lines for this year's Halloween cd considering the timeliness of the date)).
Although I'm way behind in my Halloween duties I figured I could at least paint my phone. Lately, I've gotten into the practice of using nail polish to paint my phone according to the season (WATCH! By next year it'll be huge. Just you wait). Of course I use nail polish because it isn't chalky like acrylic paints so the phone retains its smoothness. Last night I stopped into what I assumed was the best possible place to pick up nail polish -- Rite Aid. I guess not so bizarrely, all the black nail polish of every brand was completely sold out of the store. Instead of getting plain old black I got "Starry Night." Looking at my phone at this very moment I'm realizing that it's a lot closer to purple than black. Unfortunately I went to the store alone and didn't have a set of non-colorblind eyes. I blame Halloween.
I can hardly believe I just said that. Once upon a time I was complaining that people just didn't get into it enough. Now I long for the days when there weren't so many of us.
Last week I had a colonoscopy done. I'm not afraid to admit it. Just like nail polishing phones, colonoscopies are going to be all the rage in the near future. However, they might be more like what they are in this link that Abel sent me here. A week ago this information would have been very useful.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
lost in pair of guise
So obviously Lost went back on tv last night. Since I haven't written anything in here lately, I may as well post up the rough draft of the review I wrote for FreeCapitalist.com.
Ready and begin.
The best thing Lost has going for it is its potential for misdirection. In other words, the best thing is its ability to keep us in the dark perceptually. In other words, it wants to keep us lost.
The surprises come right at the beginning of the season premiere. We’re treated to witnessing an everyday book club event complete with suburban housing furniture, tea and obnoxious suburban book club friends. Very normal. Then the plane crashes. Suddenly these aren’t normal people. We realize in this misdirecting flashback that these are The Others – the people who kidnapped our three heroes at the end of last season. Of course just because we call them “our heroes,” it doesn’t mean that all three of them aren’t actually ex-felons.
The Others (or “our villains”), now, are in the forefront. They have faces. They have a thriving community. Although we don’t understand why they do the things they do, we can tell by their reaction of the plane crashing in their backyard that what they are doing (at least to themselves) is urgent rather than sinister. Strangely, I’m inclined to believe Ben (the weird leader of The Others) when he said to Michael (the guy who betrayed his friends in order to find his son) at the end of last season, “We’re the good guys.”
The good guys? That’s a hard pill to swallow especially since we know that these people have kidnapped several of the doomed flight passengers and purposefully manipulated many of the rest. Of course a matter of perspective is in order. While the two groups have been busy miscommunicating with each other, several more of The Others lay dead at the hands of the doomed passengers than the other way around. Do these stats make Ben and The Others the good guys after all? Are our heroes really the bad guys, but we side with them because we know them better?
The only certainty is that every single individual on this island believes they are in the right. People may do unprincipled things, but nobody actively proclaims that they’re evil. They don’t even know they are, especially when they’re only acting in their self-interest. Circumstance may give us an opportunity to impose torture, deceive those around us and take what isn’t ours. The survivors are learning that doing such things may serve interests as well as provide for the common good, but such things are unprincipled. As a result, they need to deal with the “other unprincipled good guys.”
Everybody on that dang island is lost in just about every sense of the word. They all have so much potential to lose their way even more. In the meantime, we’re not given the perspective we need to prevent ourselves from getting lost. It’s fun to watch and no doubt it will be enlightening for all of us when we’re allowed to see the whole picture along with everyone else.
The truly great thing about the show is its presentation that the proper perspective isn’t always a certainty. Despite how good we say we are, a failure to abide to the proper principles truly gets us lost.
Ready and begin.
The best thing Lost has going for it is its potential for misdirection. In other words, the best thing is its ability to keep us in the dark perceptually. In other words, it wants to keep us lost.
The surprises come right at the beginning of the season premiere. We’re treated to witnessing an everyday book club event complete with suburban housing furniture, tea and obnoxious suburban book club friends. Very normal. Then the plane crashes. Suddenly these aren’t normal people. We realize in this misdirecting flashback that these are The Others – the people who kidnapped our three heroes at the end of last season. Of course just because we call them “our heroes,” it doesn’t mean that all three of them aren’t actually ex-felons.
The Others (or “our villains”), now, are in the forefront. They have faces. They have a thriving community. Although we don’t understand why they do the things they do, we can tell by their reaction of the plane crashing in their backyard that what they are doing (at least to themselves) is urgent rather than sinister. Strangely, I’m inclined to believe Ben (the weird leader of The Others) when he said to Michael (the guy who betrayed his friends in order to find his son) at the end of last season, “We’re the good guys.”
The good guys? That’s a hard pill to swallow especially since we know that these people have kidnapped several of the doomed flight passengers and purposefully manipulated many of the rest. Of course a matter of perspective is in order. While the two groups have been busy miscommunicating with each other, several more of The Others lay dead at the hands of the doomed passengers than the other way around. Do these stats make Ben and The Others the good guys after all? Are our heroes really the bad guys, but we side with them because we know them better?
The only certainty is that every single individual on this island believes they are in the right. People may do unprincipled things, but nobody actively proclaims that they’re evil. They don’t even know they are, especially when they’re only acting in their self-interest. Circumstance may give us an opportunity to impose torture, deceive those around us and take what isn’t ours. The survivors are learning that doing such things may serve interests as well as provide for the common good, but such things are unprincipled. As a result, they need to deal with the “other unprincipled good guys.”
Everybody on that dang island is lost in just about every sense of the word. They all have so much potential to lose their way even more. In the meantime, we’re not given the perspective we need to prevent ourselves from getting lost. It’s fun to watch and no doubt it will be enlightening for all of us when we’re allowed to see the whole picture along with everyone else.
The truly great thing about the show is its presentation that the proper perspective isn’t always a certainty. Despite how good we say we are, a failure to abide to the proper principles truly gets us lost.
Friday, September 22, 2006
pushing buttons (officially)
Right now I'm sitting at work merely waiting. It's 51 minutes past 6. At 59 minutes and 50 seconds past 6 I need to push the "hang up" on the Nexus ISDN machine that is presently dialed into 630 KTKK AM broadcasting the taped show I'm running from last month. In order to begin broadcasting it I had to push the "dial" button about 116 minutes ago. Our computer plays the pre-recorded show automatically because I programmed it in a few hours ago (incorrectly actually, because it's Friday and a couple of other reasons). On days like this I can almost automate everything and not come into work at all, except for that dang button. I also came in early and pushed it 598 minutes ago because the guys who usually do it in the morning had some important conference to go to (my R.S.V.P was denied). Of course pushing the button 598 minutes ago means I had to push it again 475 minutes ago so we don't waste using the super-expensive broadcast line. That's pretty much my day.
I spent the last month getting into Lost and I'm amazed that I only just realized in the past few minutes why the show connected with me so personally. In the meantime, I'm finally with the rest of you and am very very curious as to how this whole island/end of the world thing turns out. I'm real glad Desmond is back. He's got some sweet charisma. BTW, I think that The Others are telling the truth when they say they're the good guys. The Dharma Initiative is probably bad and The Others are probably on the island to undo whatever Dharma did. Just a guess. I mean, the castaways have actually killed more of The Others than the other way around.
Did anyone catch the office last night? I knew Jim would wind up with the transfer. I must admit they really expanded the corner they painted themselves into. Now we're treated to the weirdoes at Jim's new workplace as well. Good show! Good show!
I spent the last month getting into Lost and I'm amazed that I only just realized in the past few minutes why the show connected with me so personally. In the meantime, I'm finally with the rest of you and am very very curious as to how this whole island/end of the world thing turns out. I'm real glad Desmond is back. He's got some sweet charisma. BTW, I think that The Others are telling the truth when they say they're the good guys. The Dharma Initiative is probably bad and The Others are probably on the island to undo whatever Dharma did. Just a guess. I mean, the castaways have actually killed more of The Others than the other way around.
Did anyone catch the office last night? I knew Jim would wind up with the transfer. I must admit they really expanded the corner they painted themselves into. Now we're treated to the weirdoes at Jim's new workplace as well. Good show! Good show!
Friday, September 15, 2006
abel hour enabled
So today might be the last time The Abel Hour broadcasts over actual radio frequencies. I'm confident that we'll still be online for some time, but our radio lease is up. In the meantime, go to www.theabelhour.com for your fix of hearing my voice (and, i suppose, Abel's). Anyway, hopefully the boss boss will shell out a little bit to continue the radio thing. I don't anticipate progress unless that happens. Things are positive, though. Apparently even though lots of people in the company are mysteriously disturbed by our little show, the one in charge thinks it's a positive option and wishes it to continue (of course it's far far far from priority one). So while we may be in interim, please let me know what we should talk about in the future. Also, please call in when you can (remember the number is 1-800-331-4301). Also, please book guests for us. Doing a radio show is actually strangely exhausting.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
puke puke puke puke of hurl hurl hurl
Just so you know, I totally threw up at the State Fair just a few seconds after this picture was taken. The ride is called The Tornado and it's not too bad, but it did me in after eating State Fair Panda Express and riding The Zipper (awesome although at one point I was willing to expose national security secrets in order to get off), the gliders, the Tidal Wave-type boat thingie, the Fun Slide (a half truth) and the Musical Express type cars thingie. Richard, the guy next to me, puked also. I was remarking to Maria earlier that it was pretty much the most miserable fair experience ever, but to be honest (and judging from my facial expression in the picture) it was TOTALLY worth it.
when a supernova becomes a black hole
Thanks a lot America. Actually, thanks a lot world. You just voted this d.b. as your new pseudo reality heavy poprock hybrid king. Did I mention he's Canadian? What's wrong with you people? Is it his voice? It sucks. Is it his abnormal upper cranium? Ug. I actually miss J.D. Fortune.
I can't believe it came down to him and Dilanna -- my two least favorite contestants from the very beginning. Magni was eliminated first of course, followed by the nice squishy guy from Australia I totally wouldn't have minded winning, Toby. Fortunately, at least, I was able to snag ten bucks from Rhett who bet me that Dilanna would win. I knew for a fact that they'd never pick the girl unless she ran away with it from the very beginning and was far and away ahead. Rock bands can't seriously consider girls, because the fan base doesn't tend to take girl rockers seriously. Amy Lee did a good job, but it's not because she rocks. It's because her stuff is far originaler. Or was far originaler. I doubt the Evanesense new stuff is any good. Shirley Manson is ok, but Garbage is more weird than rock. Anyway, sucks to be a girl. You can be American Idols, but you can't be Rockstars. I know, I know. I hate it too. It's a shame. Girls are cute.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
when a star becomes a supernova
Don't have much time, so I'll get right to the point. Tonight is the season finale of Rockstar: Supernova (for the uninformed, this show is an American Idol-type show where people compete to be the lead singer of a band called Supernova (Supernova is a supergroup composed of Tommy Lee of Motley Crue, Gilby Clarke of Guns 'N Roses and Jason Newsted of Metallica (Jason Newsted is quite strange and it's easy to see why the band hazed him for 15 straight years))). Tonight they pick the new lead singer. From the very first episode I had my picks going on. I hated Dilanna and Lukas. Dilanna is a smoky voiced demon from Hell and Lukas may even be more pathetically Canadian than last year's winner J.D. Fortune...
(a comment should be made about last year -- I think it's safe to say that I got all my friends to watch Rockstar because last year (the first year) the band in need of a new lead singer was INXS. INXS was actually my favorite band growing up so I actually had a vested interest in who their new lead singer would be. Anyway, I decided very early on that I hated the wussy Canadian J.D. Fortune and I loved Marty Casey. Casey would go on to write the song of the year ("Trees" (omigosh! I think I forgot to include it in the songs of the year for last year! Curses!), but come in second to the snivelling Canuck got the gig)
...Yeah, so anyway I also decided that I liked the brazen, ridiculously overacting Storm Large and also the single-named bald wonder from Reykjavik, Magni.
Storm, sadly, was eliminated last week (much to the rejoicement of my friends Kristi and Stephanie who watch Rockstar independent of my usual watching group and came to the opposite conclusion of Storm's merits). Magni, however has stayed strong and is in the top four. Strangely, the demonic twosome of Dilanna and Lukas also managed to worm their way into the final four (rounding out the four is the girlie-fave Aussie named Toby Rand. He's adequate enough. He's got a fat head, but I wouldn't mind if he won). I have this fear that Supernova really prefer Dilanna and Lukas, because if there was any justice in the world they would be gone long ago. Dilanna made disparaging remarks about her fellow contestants and then martyred herself on her own mistake. Lukas doesn't know how to sing with a microphone, but he's good at emulating the screamo shiz all 19-year-olds apparently love right now.
Sorry, what's the point of all this? The point is, go to rockstar.msn.com and vote for Magni. Iceland needs to be on the map.
He actually sang the best bald version of "Creep" by Radiohead I've ever ever heard (beating out Moby's version he sang at In the Venue a few years ago).
(a comment should be made about last year -- I think it's safe to say that I got all my friends to watch Rockstar because last year (the first year) the band in need of a new lead singer was INXS. INXS was actually my favorite band growing up so I actually had a vested interest in who their new lead singer would be. Anyway, I decided very early on that I hated the wussy Canadian J.D. Fortune and I loved Marty Casey. Casey would go on to write the song of the year ("Trees" (omigosh! I think I forgot to include it in the songs of the year for last year! Curses!), but come in second to the snivelling Canuck got the gig)
...Yeah, so anyway I also decided that I liked the brazen, ridiculously overacting Storm Large and also the single-named bald wonder from Reykjavik, Magni.
Storm, sadly, was eliminated last week (much to the rejoicement of my friends Kristi and Stephanie who watch Rockstar independent of my usual watching group and came to the opposite conclusion of Storm's merits). Magni, however has stayed strong and is in the top four. Strangely, the demonic twosome of Dilanna and Lukas also managed to worm their way into the final four (rounding out the four is the girlie-fave Aussie named Toby Rand. He's adequate enough. He's got a fat head, but I wouldn't mind if he won). I have this fear that Supernova really prefer Dilanna and Lukas, because if there was any justice in the world they would be gone long ago. Dilanna made disparaging remarks about her fellow contestants and then martyred herself on her own mistake. Lukas doesn't know how to sing with a microphone, but he's good at emulating the screamo shiz all 19-year-olds apparently love right now.
Sorry, what's the point of all this? The point is, go to rockstar.msn.com and vote for Magni. Iceland needs to be on the map.
He actually sang the best bald version of "Creep" by Radiohead I've ever ever heard (beating out Moby's version he sang at In the Venue a few years ago).
Monday, September 11, 2006
five years of terror
Well, today's the big anniversary! What is it, wood? I guess we're supposed to give wood for five year anniversaries. Anybody got wood?
Living in the age of terror is a bit more vivid than the ice age I remember during the eighties But did you ever catch The Day After on TV? Yeah, in many ways, the constant threat of nuclear holocaust is nothing compared to the threat of out of control planes. Oh well. It doesn't matter who you are, someone's always out to get you. Hey remember the nineties? There was no Cold War, there were no terror alerts. Why were we so uptight and full of angst back then?
I remember the day vividly. It was the first time I ever used the line, "So... in this new age of worldwide terror, surely the moral constraints we're used to can be relaxed a little..." It didn't work then and it hasn't worked since. Something's gotta change.
Living in the age of terror is a bit more vivid than the ice age I remember during the eighties But did you ever catch The Day After on TV? Yeah, in many ways, the constant threat of nuclear holocaust is nothing compared to the threat of out of control planes. Oh well. It doesn't matter who you are, someone's always out to get you. Hey remember the nineties? There was no Cold War, there were no terror alerts. Why were we so uptight and full of angst back then?
I remember the day vividly. It was the first time I ever used the line, "So... in this new age of worldwide terror, surely the moral constraints we're used to can be relaxed a little..." It didn't work then and it hasn't worked since. Something's gotta change.
Friday, September 01, 2006
i only have three years to live
Most of my peers don't know what the icy hand of death feels like. I do. Honestly, it's not too bad. It feels like... nothing.
Laura talked me into taking the realage quiz. The quiz gauges lifestyle activity and medical history in order to better determine your age beyond simple chronology. It's pretty in-depth and took about 15 minutes to fill out. For some reason I totally deluded myself into thinking I'd score well on it just because I don't feel or act old. My real age? 39. In the blink of an eye I aged ten years.
Denial, of course, is the first step. I'm still in denial actually. I'm not denying that. Much denial, of course, is justified. Several of the questions didn't have to do with aging, in my opinion. I got docked a lot because I drive 100 miles a day. Now I do agree that I am at much more risk for accidents, but I still don't see how driving actually ages my body. The test also asks about the health situation of the taker's parents. The fact that my father died at 42 of colon cancer certainly didn't help. Speaking of, I need to get that checked soon. I just hope I don't feel too cheap and used when it's all over. Anyway, also late in the test it asked what kind of medication I was taking for my angina. I never told the test I even had angina. I actually thought only girls had angina.
*Sigh* As much as I deny it my lack of breakfast eating skills, tendency for fast food, disdain for mattresses and allergy to sweat have taken their toll and I'm now old. I wouldn't feel too incredibly bad if I didn't take an IQ test the week before. Although I still scored incredibly high on the IQ test, it was actually eight points LESS than it was when I took the same test five years ago. So my mind is going too. Oh well, what's the difference? The only think IQ tests measure is ability to take IQ tests.
Like I said, it feels like... nothing.
Laura talked me into taking the realage quiz. The quiz gauges lifestyle activity and medical history in order to better determine your age beyond simple chronology. It's pretty in-depth and took about 15 minutes to fill out. For some reason I totally deluded myself into thinking I'd score well on it just because I don't feel or act old. My real age? 39. In the blink of an eye I aged ten years.
Denial, of course, is the first step. I'm still in denial actually. I'm not denying that. Much denial, of course, is justified. Several of the questions didn't have to do with aging, in my opinion. I got docked a lot because I drive 100 miles a day. Now I do agree that I am at much more risk for accidents, but I still don't see how driving actually ages my body. The test also asks about the health situation of the taker's parents. The fact that my father died at 42 of colon cancer certainly didn't help. Speaking of, I need to get that checked soon. I just hope I don't feel too cheap and used when it's all over. Anyway, also late in the test it asked what kind of medication I was taking for my angina. I never told the test I even had angina. I actually thought only girls had angina.
*Sigh* As much as I deny it my lack of breakfast eating skills, tendency for fast food, disdain for mattresses and allergy to sweat have taken their toll and I'm now old. I wouldn't feel too incredibly bad if I didn't take an IQ test the week before. Although I still scored incredibly high on the IQ test, it was actually eight points LESS than it was when I took the same test five years ago. So my mind is going too. Oh well, what's the difference? The only think IQ tests measure is ability to take IQ tests.
Like I said, it feels like... nothing.
Monday, August 21, 2006
i oughtta be in pictures
In case anyone was wondering how Rhett's birthday party went, here it is:
Yeah, our get-togethers probably won't be as depraved as they used to be since we moved into this fancy-schmancy house.
A few days ago I actually saw an Arab LITERALLY controlling the gas prices at the gas station down the road. I cried (because I was really tired at the time).
In a strange twist of hope I witnessed a Toyota Prius pass me in the carpool lane a few minutes later. I cried again (because I was adjusting to my new eye drops).
Maria and I officially went out a couple of weekends ago and I got a picture of it. It's as official as I get anyway. She won the "Win Jon Asking You Out" prize on The Abel Hour. It was an awesome excuse to go to Ottavio's. Speaking of The Abel Hour, please please please please listen. We probably only have a couple of weeks left.
Lagoon happened again. It was so adequate I could barely believe it. We were able to go on everything we wanted to, unlike last year. Last year may have been a bit more exuberant, however. Oh well. The Spider is the way to go. We rode it twice pretty hard.
Yeah, our get-togethers probably won't be as depraved as they used to be since we moved into this fancy-schmancy house.
A few days ago I actually saw an Arab LITERALLY controlling the gas prices at the gas station down the road. I cried (because I was really tired at the time).
In a strange twist of hope I witnessed a Toyota Prius pass me in the carpool lane a few minutes later. I cried again (because I was adjusting to my new eye drops).
Maria and I officially went out a couple of weekends ago and I got a picture of it. It's as official as I get anyway. She won the "Win Jon Asking You Out" prize on The Abel Hour. It was an awesome excuse to go to Ottavio's. Speaking of The Abel Hour, please please please please listen. We probably only have a couple of weeks left.
Lagoon happened again. It was so adequate I could barely believe it. We were able to go on everything we wanted to, unlike last year. Last year may have been a bit more exuberant, however. Oh well. The Spider is the way to go. We rode it twice pretty hard.
music for the miniscule masses
I was pretty depressed for no reason at all today. Sometimes I get that way when something is wrong, but I don't know what it is yet. I realized the problem when I checked my email. MODified Music, my favorite music store is going out of business. The owner sends out an email every week and the one he sent today dropped the bomb. Now I feel really guilty about taking all my used cds into Greywhale a couple of weeks ago. Anyway, it's very unfortunate because MODified specializes in 80s alternative, techno, industrial, goth -- you know, the stuff I listen to when YOU'RE not around. The bonus is that they are now selling their stock of music AT COST. If you want to pick something up, the store is located right next to the Pie.
In brighter news, while I was in Provo today, I noticed that KOHS is back on the air! KOHS is Orem High School's station and they are the awesomest station down there. It's a double bonus, because not only do they play commercial-free fairly decent music, but it's totally obvious that the djs receive absolutely NO on-air training. Yeah, the loss of KOHS is always the most depressing thing about summer and autumn's coolest redemption.
In brighter news, while I was in Provo today, I noticed that KOHS is back on the air! KOHS is Orem High School's station and they are the awesomest station down there. It's a double bonus, because not only do they play commercial-free fairly decent music, but it's totally obvious that the djs receive absolutely NO on-air training. Yeah, the loss of KOHS is always the most depressing thing about summer and autumn's coolest redemption.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
rhettacular rhettacular
Today is my super good friend Rhett's birthday! To commemorate the occasion I'm cutting, pasting and editing that song from The Simpsons that Bart and that one guy who thought he was Michael Jackson sang to Lisa for her birthday:
Rhett and I aren't really that similar on the surface, but after you get to know us it's actually scary how much we're the same. It's one of those things where something will happen and one of us will respond to a question the other had without him actually asking it and then the other one answering the train of thought the other had a half hour later.
It's one of those things where ten years from now I'll be on a secret mission to save the world and I'm running through the streets of London or Istanbul or something with this totally hot girl who gets mixed up in everything and then the evil mastermind finally corners us and he steps out of the shadows to monologue a little and... and... IT'S HIM! IT'S RHETT!
(kind of like Goldeneye or Sneakers)
He'll say something like, "So it's come to this. It could have been so different, Jon. You could have joined me. You could have had the world serve you instead of you serving the world. We were never that different, you and I. I always figured you'd be at my side in my moment of triumph."
After that he'll motion to his henchman to get into position so that we don't escape, and I'll know I'll have to think fast. He goes on, "Tis a pity. Now you'll be no better off than all the other poor fools who've tried to stop me."
At that moment he will turn to his henchman and cross his thumb twice over his throat making a "shk shk" sound as he does so. Instantly, I'll push the barrel containing a homeless kerosene fire toward him while at the same time flipping the lit piece of wood sticking off the edge of it behind me, making sure to duck and push the hot girl's body beneath my own, so as not to be hit by the fiery piece of timber. As the kerosene fire engulfs part of Rhett, the torch will hit the henchman in the face as he lets out a Wilhelm scream. I'll grab the beautiful girl by the wrist and Rhett will douse himself quickly and re-compose himself brandishing his sleek pearl-handled pistol. We'll be halfway down the other end of the alley weaving between boxes by the time he fires his fourth shot.
"You may have gotten away, but it's too late for everyone else," he'll say as he cackles.
As we round the corner and duck into an opium den, the beautiful girl will grab my face with both hands yell, "There's no time! Who is he?! What are we up against?!"
We'll be huddled together out to hide and out of fear and while our bodies are heaving in unison from shortness of breath caused by running and adrenaline I'd loudly whisper, "It can't be... It... can't... be... It's HIM! He knows me too well! Whatever we do, HE'LL ALWAYS BE ONE STEP AHEAD!"
Yeah, that's pretty much where I see us ten years from now. Of course since he's the one who loves Independence Day and also gravitates toward hundreds of beautiful women... the roles will probably be reversed.
Anyway, we're having cake and stuff at our new house in Salt Lake. Come by. Wish Rhett happy birthday.
Rhe-ett, it's your birthday. God bless you this day. You gave me the gift of a little sister, and I'm proud of you today. Rhe-ett, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Rhe-ett. Rhe-ett, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Rhe-ett. I wish you love and good will. I wish you peace and joy. I wish you better than your heart desires, and your first kiss from a boy. Rhe-ett, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Rhe-ett. Rhe-ett, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Rhe-ett. Yeah!So, not all of that made sense... especially since Rhett has already kissed a boy.
Rhett and I aren't really that similar on the surface, but after you get to know us it's actually scary how much we're the same. It's one of those things where something will happen and one of us will respond to a question the other had without him actually asking it and then the other one answering the train of thought the other had a half hour later.
It's one of those things where ten years from now I'll be on a secret mission to save the world and I'm running through the streets of London or Istanbul or something with this totally hot girl who gets mixed up in everything and then the evil mastermind finally corners us and he steps out of the shadows to monologue a little and... and... IT'S HIM! IT'S RHETT!
(kind of like Goldeneye or Sneakers)
He'll say something like, "So it's come to this. It could have been so different, Jon. You could have joined me. You could have had the world serve you instead of you serving the world. We were never that different, you and I. I always figured you'd be at my side in my moment of triumph."
After that he'll motion to his henchman to get into position so that we don't escape, and I'll know I'll have to think fast. He goes on, "Tis a pity. Now you'll be no better off than all the other poor fools who've tried to stop me."
At that moment he will turn to his henchman and cross his thumb twice over his throat making a "shk shk" sound as he does so. Instantly, I'll push the barrel containing a homeless kerosene fire toward him while at the same time flipping the lit piece of wood sticking off the edge of it behind me, making sure to duck and push the hot girl's body beneath my own, so as not to be hit by the fiery piece of timber. As the kerosene fire engulfs part of Rhett, the torch will hit the henchman in the face as he lets out a Wilhelm scream. I'll grab the beautiful girl by the wrist and Rhett will douse himself quickly and re-compose himself brandishing his sleek pearl-handled pistol. We'll be halfway down the other end of the alley weaving between boxes by the time he fires his fourth shot.
"You may have gotten away, but it's too late for everyone else," he'll say as he cackles.
As we round the corner and duck into an opium den, the beautiful girl will grab my face with both hands yell, "There's no time! Who is he?! What are we up against?!"
We'll be huddled together out to hide and out of fear and while our bodies are heaving in unison from shortness of breath caused by running and adrenaline I'd loudly whisper, "It can't be... It... can't... be... It's HIM! He knows me too well! Whatever we do, HE'LL ALWAYS BE ONE STEP AHEAD!"
Yeah, that's pretty much where I see us ten years from now. Of course since he's the one who loves Independence Day and also gravitates toward hundreds of beautiful women... the roles will probably be reversed.
Anyway, we're having cake and stuff at our new house in Salt Lake. Come by. Wish Rhett happy birthday.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
week end, weak now
The week started with my learning of my Grandmother's passing. You could probably tell from the last post that she hasn't been quite as vivacious as she used to be. She turned 95 in March, so she has the excuse.
The middle of the week consisted of doing lots of moving. I have way too much stuff. I hate being the last one out of a house. It's like being at a restaurant with friends and everybody leaves with their take-home boxes, but you still have to bus the table and do the dishes. Unfortunately I'm wicked nostalgic so, throwing stuff out is out of the question. Everyone who helped out was very patient. I promise to be patient with you next time I weasel out of helping you move. Everything's in now though. Please come by and arrange stuff for us. We may be a little tighter with room this time.
Work blows. I can't complain. I really do like my job, since part of my time there is devoted to doing my radio show. Doing other people's radio shows can be lameus magnus. We began doing two more this week. That means that somehow I need to engineer and edit sounds for these people in between no time at all because I have to sit there and listen to them talk all day. By Friday afternoon I had a pretty pounding headache as a result of moving, work and a change of sleeping habits. Maybe I also didn't eat too well. That tends to happen quite often.
Grandma's funeral was today. It's nice to have it on a Saturday, but I would have loved to skip a day of work for the occasion. With all the other things going on, I didn't think I'd have time to be emotional. We've kind of been planning on Grandma moving on with her existence for some time now anyway. I also really don't like looking at dead people, even when I know them well. I lost it when my brother Andy gave his tribute, though. He read what we all said about her and she deserved the accolades. We should have scheduled things differently, because right after that my brothers and I had to sing and we were all pitifully teary.
I'm now trapped in Provo with family until late tonight or maybe tomorrow. I need to keep getting moved in, but the funeral's over and it's really nice to relax. Tonight the midnight movie at the Tower is Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Everyone knows it's my seventh favorite movie. It's pretty fitting for today. It's about overcoming age and exhaustion. It's also about loyalty and sacrifice. I've said this all before people. If you can get to the Tower Theatre tonight by midnight, watch the movie. Allow me to quote Admiral Kirk's words about my grandmother:
I found out that 20 years ago she provided me and the rest of the grandkids with a pretty nice inheritance. Nice. I hope I'm that nice when I'm 75 (or even 95).
The middle of the week consisted of doing lots of moving. I have way too much stuff. I hate being the last one out of a house. It's like being at a restaurant with friends and everybody leaves with their take-home boxes, but you still have to bus the table and do the dishes. Unfortunately I'm wicked nostalgic so, throwing stuff out is out of the question. Everyone who helped out was very patient. I promise to be patient with you next time I weasel out of helping you move. Everything's in now though. Please come by and arrange stuff for us. We may be a little tighter with room this time.
Work blows. I can't complain. I really do like my job, since part of my time there is devoted to doing my radio show. Doing other people's radio shows can be lameus magnus. We began doing two more this week. That means that somehow I need to engineer and edit sounds for these people in between no time at all because I have to sit there and listen to them talk all day. By Friday afternoon I had a pretty pounding headache as a result of moving, work and a change of sleeping habits. Maybe I also didn't eat too well. That tends to happen quite often.
Grandma's funeral was today. It's nice to have it on a Saturday, but I would have loved to skip a day of work for the occasion. With all the other things going on, I didn't think I'd have time to be emotional. We've kind of been planning on Grandma moving on with her existence for some time now anyway. I also really don't like looking at dead people, even when I know them well. I lost it when my brother Andy gave his tribute, though. He read what we all said about her and she deserved the accolades. We should have scheduled things differently, because right after that my brothers and I had to sing and we were all pitifully teary.
I'm now trapped in Provo with family until late tonight or maybe tomorrow. I need to keep getting moved in, but the funeral's over and it's really nice to relax. Tonight the midnight movie at the Tower is Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Everyone knows it's my seventh favorite movie. It's pretty fitting for today. It's about overcoming age and exhaustion. It's also about loyalty and sacrifice. I've said this all before people. If you can get to the Tower Theatre tonight by midnight, watch the movie. Allow me to quote Admiral Kirk's words about my grandmother:
We are gathered here today to pay final respects to our honored dead. But it should be noted that this death takes place in the shadow of new life, the sunrise of a new world; a world that our beloved comrade gave her life to protect and nourish. She did not feel this sacrifice a vain or empty one, and we will not debate her profound wisdom at these proceedings. Of my friend, I can only say this: of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, hers was the most... human.
I found out that 20 years ago she provided me and the rest of the grandkids with a pretty nice inheritance. Nice. I hope I'm that nice when I'm 75 (or even 95).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)