So Festivus 2006 ended a few hours ago. Now for the Airing of Grievances.
The Carl's Junior on State Street and 2nd: Why do you always "run out of ice cream" whenever we go through the drive-thru? Don't make us go in there and talk to you face-to-face for our shakes (because that's the only way you'll give them to us). We don't want to deal with you (just like you don't want to deal with us). You're in a prime location. Be nice to your customers. At least give them what they pay for.
The Teriyaki Stix in East Bay: I realize that you run out of curry half the time I go there, but the day you ran out of rice really floored me. Rice. Seriously. You're a freaking Japanese restaurant. How is that even possible? You should always have a silo of rice on hand. And also, if you don't have the curry, you should charge me the curry price for whatever I order instead. I don't just order the curry because it's the nicest thing on the menu.
All Wendy's everywhere: If you're not going to put ketchup in my to-go bag, at least ask me if I want any. You could also ask me if I want the salt you insist on putting in the bag every single time. Just so you know, I don't want the salt and never will.
The lights in my house: You burn out too much and the ceiling is way to tall to replace you. What, do you think I'm made of tallness?
People I drive with on the freeway every single day: Okay, just so you know, here's the breakdown of what speed you should drive. Left lane -- 80 mph. Middle lane -- 75 mph. Right lane -- 70 mph. There. It's solidified. It's no longer arbitrary. Stop going 68 in the left lane. It's insulting and impractical. And those of you who still insist on tailgating me while i'm hitting 83 -- get over yourselves. What? Are you in labor or something? Your job or affair or vacation can wait six seconds.
People who bring their babies to the movie theater: Do you honestly think you have a right to even see movies any more? Yeah, I know sitters can be expensive, but your lives are over. Deal with it. Don't make our lives over too. I don't want to have to make your kid an orphan. The kid deserves to go to the movies when he's old enough and not with you. Oh, and if you're still insisting on doing it, don't sit in the middle aisles. Sit on the crappy side aisles.
All restaurant servers in this state: I know it's really really really hard to divide the check between ten people, but it's nearly impossible for the people eating to do it without a check dividing computer and a credit card reader like you have. We know you can do it, so be nice and at least ask us if we'd like it divided. No more of this sneaking a single check in just because there's a chance that somehow one person is somehow going to pay for the entire meal. You know very very well that's not the case. Also, Don't blow me off when I eat alone. Yeah, I'm not trying to impress anyone and yeah, a generous tip on a single eight dollar meal would only be two bucks; but for crying out loud don't just leave me sitting there unhelped for twenty freaking minutes.
Our mailman: Stop reading our magazines and delivering them a month later. Also, being a mailman requires you to not only bring us mail, but also take mail we leave for you to deliver. It's almost as important.
Will Ferrell: For some reason, you're not funny in movies. I really liked you on Saturday Night Live, but in movies... nope.
Snow Patrol: I'm so freaking sick of your song and I haven't even heard it all the way through.
My computer: The printer doesn't work. Everything connected by USB needs drivers installed on every use. Things run slow. Second Life lags and then the controls get taken over and my avatar walks into the ocean. What's up? Why don't you cooperate with me? I could go get a Mac you know.
Janice Dickinson: How did you get on every single channel from 53-59?
Radio From Hell: I would listen to anybody else who had dry humor such as yours, but somehow, somehow, didn't talk about themselves 95% of the time. And as for that time when I emailed and asked what show that Gilmore Girls parody audio drop you used once came from and you emailed me back and told me to listen to Radio From Hell On Demand in order to hear it again? Screw you. I know your contracts may be up soon and you might take your show on the road somewhere. I just can't wait to see how well of a reception you receive in any other market in the entire world.
CSI: Are you really the most watched show on TV, because I don't know anybody who watches you.
I got more. I know I do, but Festivus has passed and I'm already well into Christmas Eve. Do you have an Airing of Grievances? Do tell. Please.
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Friday, December 22, 2006
souls dissed
So I guess today is the winter solstice...
I've always considered it the happiest day of the year...
Because things can only look up after you spend your time in the maximum amount of darkness.
Look alive, the light is coming again.
Better sacrifice a virgin just to be safe though.
I've always considered it the happiest day of the year...
Because things can only look up after you spend your time in the maximum amount of darkness.
Look alive, the light is coming again.
Better sacrifice a virgin just to be safe though.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
bring on the greed!
I just got back from doing all my shopping. I did it all in one place and I put very little thought into what I got for people (as many of you will soon see). 'Tis a shame I suppose since last year's gifts were pretty dang cool.
Anyway, just because I haven't been thoughtful, it doesn't mean you don't have to be! Here's a list of some surprisingly thoughtful things you can get for me.
1. Nintendo Wii
Yeah, I know I told everybody I wanted a PS3, but that's only because the good folks at Insomniac, my favorite game developer, are making games exclusively for Sony. I switched over to the Wii when I saw how Nintendo used a goofy gimmick to inject a sort of social party aspect to video games. Maybe I can get some exercise with this thing. Plus I'm saving you all money. PS3s are like 300 bucks more expensive.
2. Numark BP Battle Pak
Yeah, I plan on laying down some freaky beats. Also the turntable I normally use is 20 years old. I've got lots of vinyl just aching to be spun.
3. Zune
One of these days I'm going to get an iPod, but until that day and as long as you're buying me gifts, I'd love to see how well one of these things works.
4. Yamaha CPX700 Acoustic-Electric GuitarIf my life is less than ideal, I think I can safely say that the reason for that would be that I don't actually play or own a guitar (specifically this cool blue number that plugs easily into amps while retaining the gorgeously intimate experience of an acoustic guitar).
6. Shadow Mica Scion XbHey what a cute little clown car! I still want one of these. It's the only car I can stand up in. I also would like it tricked out to include a new Prius plug-in electrical hybrid engine and a front bench seat.
EDIT: 7. Guitar Hero II for Playstation 2
I can't believe I forgot I want this! If I can't have a guitar... I mean if I can't play a guitar, I should at least get this game. I should at least be able to pretend to wail on the guitar like a ninja after a fresh kill. I'm too lazy to put a link up. Just go to Target or something and pick it up and I'll be happy.
If you're feeling cheap, feel free to get me something on my Christmas wishlist from 2004 or last year (with the exceptions of Home Movies Seasons 1-4, M*A*S*H Season 4, Music from the O.C. Mix #2 on cd, Interpol: Antics on cd, Dance Dance Revolution for the PS2, Karaoke Revolution for the PS2, snowboard boots, basketball shoes, New Order: A Collection on dvd, bathrobe, customized Converse shoes, Star Wars Battlefront II for PS2, PS2 controller, The Klingon Dictionary, Auto Repair for Dummies and Fargo Rock City)
Seriously though, the hardest part about shopping is trying as hard as I possibly can not to buy all the stuff I want. It's not hard to shop for me. I like so much stuff. If something has anything to do with Star Trek or ninjas or synthesisers or animation, I probably won't throw it on the ground and jump on it when you give it to me.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
new york city by the pictures
Okay, this one wasn't actually taken in New York. It's at the Cincinnati airport. I thought it was a very funny and disturbing sign.
I think that tiny little Island may have had the Statue of Liberty on it. Not sure. I totally thought it was Ellis Island and the statue was right there, but the plane kept flying for ten minutes after I took the photo.
This of course is Rockefeller Center. You can kind of see the surfing Apollo or Greek god or whatever it is at the head of the skating rink. Also notice the Christmas tree. Both the rink and the tree are way smaller than we thought.
This cheesecake sampler from room service cost Maria's company 20 bucks.
And right in the center of it all "IS THE MILFORD PLAZA!"
That's our hotel right there. We should have gotten a discount with all the ad space.
Here's NYU, or at least a flag from it. A funny thing happened at NYU. I'll tell you later.
There's the Empire State Building. I know it looks Photoshopped in, but it's just a nostalgic-looking picture. Also notice the nifty cathedral. I loved the cathedrals in the middle of the city. It reminded me of... home.
The sign out front of the Museum of Cartoon and Comic Art. I had to ask three people how to get there before finding this sign.
I did go into Macy's and it was a ginormous headache. Some of the escalators were still made of wood.
We stopped here by chance on the way to Jersey Boys. Turns out (I think) it's the same restaurant frequented by Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm. The only episode of that show I ever saw was the one where he goes into this restaurant trying to get his name on one of the sandwiches. All the sandwiches in the place were named after celebrities. We ordered the "Bette Midler," or as our waiter knows it, "#6." It was salmon on pumpernickel. Pretty gross.
The view from the hotel suite. Glitzy.
That's me in front of the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
I love this license plate. It's a Mets plate with a Jets border. My worst nightmare came true taking this photo when the owner came out wondering what I was doing. He was cool though.
I'm pretty sure Mendy's (lousy picture, sorry) is the restaurant in Seinfeld where Banya keeps pestering Jerry to take him.
Yeah, there's a ferris wheel inside the Toys R Us at Times Square.
Here's us at Times Square right in front of the Hotel about to get into a cab.
Bye New York! See you in March or so. Tuesday, December 05, 2006
hoping to bump into woody allen
Last Friday was Woody Allen's birthday. We celebrated by watching Manhattan Murder Mystery, which holds a special place in my heart as the first Woody Allen movie I ever saw. I also rented it in commemoration of my upcoming paid time off I'll be spending in Manhattan. I also rented the video game True Crime Streets of New York in order to find my way around (it didn't help all that well). Turns out I have to use up my PTO and Maria happens to have hotel suite accomodations on behalf of her business. As a result, I only need to pay for my flight and I'll get paid while I'm there, so it's a pretty alright gig.
So far the only thing officially on the agenda is the musical High Fidelity. Other than that, we might go ice skating, and maybe another musical (either Avenue Q, Fame Becomes Me or Evil Dead the Musical). The best part of this trip may be the lack of definite plans. Maria has work in the evening which will give me time during the day to hit the Guggenheim or perhaps the Museum of Sex if I want to. I'm thinkin' though, that this will be a giant shopping spree for me. Does anybody need anything from New York at all?
The only other time I've visited the city was earlier this spring, so I don't know how the New York cold will be. Perhaps I'll just do a lot of sleeping in.
So far the only thing officially on the agenda is the musical High Fidelity. Other than that, we might go ice skating, and maybe another musical (either Avenue Q, Fame Becomes Me or Evil Dead the Musical). The best part of this trip may be the lack of definite plans. Maria has work in the evening which will give me time during the day to hit the Guggenheim or perhaps the Museum of Sex if I want to. I'm thinkin' though, that this will be a giant shopping spree for me. Does anybody need anything from New York at all?
The only other time I've visited the city was earlier this spring, so I don't know how the New York cold will be. Perhaps I'll just do a lot of sleeping in.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
slaying the eborsisk
Completely wasting my time has finally paid off.
Remember my friends Steve and Antonio? They were first introduced here and previously seen in the shadows here. Did you read that first link? It's actually pretty important. I spent a lot of time on it so I probably won't repeat much of it. Let me just sum up. Last summer I watched a gameshow on VH-1 called The World Series of Pop Culture. I pretty much knew every answer. My friends Steve and Antonio expressed interest that the three of us should put a team together and try out.
I went with the flow with the understanding that usually these kinds of things just fizzle out. Well, a few hours ago Steve informed me that our applications were in and we would be taking a written pop-culture test on January 27th and a regional qualifier on the 28th. Our team name is "Out of the Way Peck!"
Let me just say that I am a very untalented and insecure in most areas, but am SUPREMELY confident in our abilities in this context. If they think us camera-worthy, we will win. I have a very broad pop culture knowledge with specialties in cartoons, teen flicks, light sci-fi and modern music. I believe Steve and Antonio are slightly more specific in their knowledge but they are freaking surgeons at film noir, cult classics and directors.
This isn't to say that we won't prepare at all. We plan on getting together and playing some trivia games, doing a little study, hanging out at imdb.com, etc. We also need people to regularly quiz us with any type of pertinent information. What we need the most help on will probably be costumes. So far my idea is for the three of us to wear viking horns with t-shirts that say "Outof," "theWay" and "Peck." Please, if you have a better idea, let me know.
From now on, all my leisure time will be devoted to preparation. I'll probably be renting a few more movies than usual. Better start with Willow.
Remember my friends Steve and Antonio? They were first introduced here and previously seen in the shadows here. Did you read that first link? It's actually pretty important. I spent a lot of time on it so I probably won't repeat much of it. Let me just sum up. Last summer I watched a gameshow on VH-1 called The World Series of Pop Culture. I pretty much knew every answer. My friends Steve and Antonio expressed interest that the three of us should put a team together and try out.
I went with the flow with the understanding that usually these kinds of things just fizzle out. Well, a few hours ago Steve informed me that our applications were in and we would be taking a written pop-culture test on January 27th and a regional qualifier on the 28th. Our team name is "Out of the Way Peck!"
Let me just say that I am a very untalented and insecure in most areas, but am SUPREMELY confident in our abilities in this context. If they think us camera-worthy, we will win. I have a very broad pop culture knowledge with specialties in cartoons, teen flicks, light sci-fi and modern music. I believe Steve and Antonio are slightly more specific in their knowledge but they are freaking surgeons at film noir, cult classics and directors.
This isn't to say that we won't prepare at all. We plan on getting together and playing some trivia games, doing a little study, hanging out at imdb.com, etc. We also need people to regularly quiz us with any type of pertinent information. What we need the most help on will probably be costumes. So far my idea is for the three of us to wear viking horns with t-shirts that say "Outof," "theWay" and "Peck." Please, if you have a better idea, let me know.
From now on, all my leisure time will be devoted to preparation. I'll probably be renting a few more movies than usual. Better start with Willow.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
virtually disastrous
It all started with the stupid Second Life. That's this virtual online world started by a few people, but maintained and continually created by thousands of online users. Apparently this other world has been steadily built over the years and now would occupy hundreds of acres if it literally existed. The Second Life users seemingly actually inhabit this visual online world. They also trade in various non-real and real world items. Users can take virtual matter and visually adjust it to take on whatever appearance they want. Then they program these items to do whatever they want them to do. Then they sell these items. Apparently, $500,000 runs through the Second Life commerce system everyday. Actual musicians and lecturers make appearances in Second Life. Real world people are actually quitting their real-world jobs to make their fortunes in fantasy land.
Naturally, I want in. I guess I just feel a need to escape from my life of non-stop leisure, endless sushi and a rocking girlfriend.
Secondlife.com seemed welcoming enough. I went ahead and filled a profile out for myself. My visual self (avatar) I selected is a sort of Japanese schoolgirl. They wanted me to join the premium membership for 10 bucks a month. Since I was gung-ho about immersing myself in the virtual world, the thought of such a membership was actually tempting. I was also tempted to register with my credit card. They wouldn't automatically take money but it would enable my avatar to purchase whatever she wanted immediately.
Fortunately I didn't do anything at all financial. After downloading the software on the website and building my avatar I began my Second Life maiden voyage by actually beginning the program. 30 seconds after clicking the Second Life icon I got a message informing me that Second Life couldn't run with my current graphics card. It recommended updating my video drivers, which I attempted to download -- over and over again. Why don't I understand computer drivers? Drivers are like the emo of computers. I never could understand the actual definition of emo. I finally settled on the idea that I needed an entirely new graphics card.
I meticulously jotted down the suggested cards Secondlife.com provided me. One of them was the ATI Radeon 9250. I picked it up when Maria and I went to Best Buy to look for extra televisions.
This brings up two tangents.
Yes, I am shopping for televisions -- well, just one TV anyway. I figured it was time to get a new TV when the coaxial socket in the back slightly broke and got shoved into the TV's interior. Peter Nash was aghast when I actually told him that I'm looking into getting a smaller TV. He figures it's a step down and not worth doing. He's got a pretty good point, but there are certain facts that contribute to my wanting to downgrade. My current TV can only fit in my room if I plop it in my easy chair recliner. When I watch TV while the TV itself is in my recliner it really makes me wonder who's boss. I have this tiny TV tray-stand wheelie thing that I scrounged from my grandma's house which fits into the mini-corner in the middle of my north wall. The largest TV that can fit on that thing is 18.5 inches wide. I'm not talkin' an 18 inch screen here. I'm talkin' 18 inches for the entire box... not diagonally. Actually, I'm sort of looking forward to having a cute little TV. It'll be more convenient to haul it around for stuff like Halo parties plus I can easily maneuver the TV stand to enjoy the TV from my bed or easy chair. And yes, Mom, I know I could have taken Grandma's TV, but I wasn't thinking about getting a new one a couple of weeks ago when you asked me and also I need one with a headphone jack and stereo RCA inputs.
Tangent #2... After Maria and I went to Best Buy we went to Target and saw a line of people camped out in a line outside. We assumed that they were waiting for the Nintendo Wii which I think was going to be released the next day. Inside Target we found the Wii display with appropriate worthless display boxes. We considered snatching one of the display boxes as we walked out of the store. It would have given me the opportunity to have what looked like a Nintendo Wii under my arm when I asked the people in line what they were in line for.
So anyway, I came home and attempted to install the new graphics card. I've never installed a graphics card before (to my recollection), but figured it was easier than putting in a zip drive or fixing a toaster (two things I have been successful at). One of the first things it asked me to do was to remove the computer's pre-existing video drivers. Eegad. Drivers. They freak me out. Video drivers especially. The instruction manual didn't mention a scenario that I totally envisioned happening. Suppose I shut off the video drivers, shut the computer off, install the new card and then find that I get no video anyway, because the video drivers are gone and I can't install the new video drivers if I can't see anything. Hmmm. Also, I wasn't even sure which drivers were the video drivers. At that point I just went to the standard add/remove programs screen instead of going to display adapters in the device manager menu.
Man! This must be wicked boring for all you people out there who consistently rely on your company's IT guy. Sorry.
Anyway, as I was cycling through all the drivers I had at my disposal I decided to click on one whose function I was unsure of. Now, naturally, I figured that the computer would inform me which driver I was selecting instead of instantly deleting it. Imagine my surprise as I helplessly watched a series of prompts informing me that the driver was being completely removed from the system. During the damage assessment I discovered the drivers I removed were the audio drivers instead of the video drivers.
After a delirium of hair-pulling and crying, I managed to get the audio drivers back and downloaded (a few hours later). For some strange reason with all the fail-safes we encounter in Windows every single day, there's no 'undo' for deleting all the audio drivers. So I finally found what I was supposed to delete and got rid of them, despite my fear that I'd never see anything on the monitor again.
Now I was finally ready to install the graphics card. I cracked open the computer's frame and awkwardly ripped out what I supposed was an obsolete card. Then I spent the next 45 minutes trying to jam the new card into the new system. Yeah, after 45 minutes I finally resigned to the fact that my computer didn't have the right PCI slot for the brand new card I got. I sighed and plugged the old one in, praying that everything would still work when I got it back together.
And so it did. I'm totally back where I started, but 85 bucks poorer. I'm hoping Best Buy will take their card back even though I affixed the proof of purchase sticker and also wrote in the instruction manual. Maybe Intrigue Computers will be able to provide the thing with a new PCI slot (if that's even possible) next time I take it in. Hopefully, a solution could be had. People download and enjoy Second Life every single day...why can't I be one of them? You'd think computers and I would get along by now.
Second Life better be wicked good. On second thought, I hope it sucks, because it looks like I'll never go there.
Naturally, I want in. I guess I just feel a need to escape from my life of non-stop leisure, endless sushi and a rocking girlfriend.
Secondlife.com seemed welcoming enough. I went ahead and filled a profile out for myself. My visual self (avatar) I selected is a sort of Japanese schoolgirl. They wanted me to join the premium membership for 10 bucks a month. Since I was gung-ho about immersing myself in the virtual world, the thought of such a membership was actually tempting. I was also tempted to register with my credit card. They wouldn't automatically take money but it would enable my avatar to purchase whatever she wanted immediately.
Fortunately I didn't do anything at all financial. After downloading the software on the website and building my avatar I began my Second Life maiden voyage by actually beginning the program. 30 seconds after clicking the Second Life icon I got a message informing me that Second Life couldn't run with my current graphics card. It recommended updating my video drivers, which I attempted to download -- over and over again. Why don't I understand computer drivers? Drivers are like the emo of computers. I never could understand the actual definition of emo. I finally settled on the idea that I needed an entirely new graphics card.
I meticulously jotted down the suggested cards Secondlife.com provided me. One of them was the ATI Radeon 9250. I picked it up when Maria and I went to Best Buy to look for extra televisions.
This brings up two tangents.
Yes, I am shopping for televisions -- well, just one TV anyway. I figured it was time to get a new TV when the coaxial socket in the back slightly broke and got shoved into the TV's interior. Peter Nash was aghast when I actually told him that I'm looking into getting a smaller TV. He figures it's a step down and not worth doing. He's got a pretty good point, but there are certain facts that contribute to my wanting to downgrade. My current TV can only fit in my room if I plop it in my easy chair recliner. When I watch TV while the TV itself is in my recliner it really makes me wonder who's boss. I have this tiny TV tray-stand wheelie thing that I scrounged from my grandma's house which fits into the mini-corner in the middle of my north wall. The largest TV that can fit on that thing is 18.5 inches wide. I'm not talkin' an 18 inch screen here. I'm talkin' 18 inches for the entire box... not diagonally. Actually, I'm sort of looking forward to having a cute little TV. It'll be more convenient to haul it around for stuff like Halo parties plus I can easily maneuver the TV stand to enjoy the TV from my bed or easy chair. And yes, Mom, I know I could have taken Grandma's TV, but I wasn't thinking about getting a new one a couple of weeks ago when you asked me and also I need one with a headphone jack and stereo RCA inputs.
Tangent #2... After Maria and I went to Best Buy we went to Target and saw a line of people camped out in a line outside. We assumed that they were waiting for the Nintendo Wii which I think was going to be released the next day. Inside Target we found the Wii display with appropriate worthless display boxes. We considered snatching one of the display boxes as we walked out of the store. It would have given me the opportunity to have what looked like a Nintendo Wii under my arm when I asked the people in line what they were in line for.
So anyway, I came home and attempted to install the new graphics card. I've never installed a graphics card before (to my recollection), but figured it was easier than putting in a zip drive or fixing a toaster (two things I have been successful at). One of the first things it asked me to do was to remove the computer's pre-existing video drivers. Eegad. Drivers. They freak me out. Video drivers especially. The instruction manual didn't mention a scenario that I totally envisioned happening. Suppose I shut off the video drivers, shut the computer off, install the new card and then find that I get no video anyway, because the video drivers are gone and I can't install the new video drivers if I can't see anything. Hmmm. Also, I wasn't even sure which drivers were the video drivers. At that point I just went to the standard add/remove programs screen instead of going to display adapters in the device manager menu.
Man! This must be wicked boring for all you people out there who consistently rely on your company's IT guy. Sorry.
Anyway, as I was cycling through all the drivers I had at my disposal I decided to click on one whose function I was unsure of. Now, naturally, I figured that the computer would inform me which driver I was selecting instead of instantly deleting it. Imagine my surprise as I helplessly watched a series of prompts informing me that the driver was being completely removed from the system. During the damage assessment I discovered the drivers I removed were the audio drivers instead of the video drivers.
After a delirium of hair-pulling and crying, I managed to get the audio drivers back and downloaded (a few hours later). For some strange reason with all the fail-safes we encounter in Windows every single day, there's no 'undo' for deleting all the audio drivers. So I finally found what I was supposed to delete and got rid of them, despite my fear that I'd never see anything on the monitor again.
Now I was finally ready to install the graphics card. I cracked open the computer's frame and awkwardly ripped out what I supposed was an obsolete card. Then I spent the next 45 minutes trying to jam the new card into the new system. Yeah, after 45 minutes I finally resigned to the fact that my computer didn't have the right PCI slot for the brand new card I got. I sighed and plugged the old one in, praying that everything would still work when I got it back together.
And so it did. I'm totally back where I started, but 85 bucks poorer. I'm hoping Best Buy will take their card back even though I affixed the proof of purchase sticker and also wrote in the instruction manual. Maybe Intrigue Computers will be able to provide the thing with a new PCI slot (if that's even possible) next time I take it in. Hopefully, a solution could be had. People download and enjoy Second Life every single day...why can't I be one of them? You'd think computers and I would get along by now.
Second Life better be wicked good. On second thought, I hope it sucks, because it looks like I'll never go there.
she smashed the radio with the board of education
I never officially said this, but Maria and I started going out like a month or so ago. We decided we wouldn't do some kind of press release detailing our relationship, but instead see how long it would be before everyone's noticed. Well now 99% of everyone I know has noticed, so the thrill of keeping a relationship secret is now gone. So here it is for everyone I haven't talked to in the last month or so. Here's the press release.
(hi honey!)
(hi honey!)
Friday, November 10, 2006
hardly any reason for this post at all
So there's a really good chance that Abel won't be in on Monday so I gotta think of a few things to talk about for Monday's show. Of course since I'm catering to dozens of fans rather than thousands I could just run a replay. Of course with the same thinking in mind, I could just not worry about who I offend and totally pull a Network moment. Then again maybe I'll pretend we're in the third grade and just read aloud for an hour. The FreeCapitalist himself pulled that stunt once.
So anyway I'm considering talking about Guns 'N Roses cancelling their Maine show because they wouldn't be allowed to drink on stage. Read about it here. Boy, Axl! Talk about missing the ultimate rock 'n roll moment! A true rockstar would have at least broken the law and put on a great show. You just showed that you suck in every way.
Also, I went to Wal-Mart for some reason tonight. Some guy tried to watch me while I tried to play Guitar Hero II. That's not the point I'm trying to make, though. My cashier greeted me friendily. I suppose I mildly appreciated it until I swiped my debit card and before I could proceed with my transaction, the machine asked me "Did your cashier greet you today?" Suddenly all the sincerity that may have been in the original greeting was completely sucked away.
So obviously I'm against Wal-Mart using me to observe the friendliness of their workers. The last thing I need is someone begrudgingly saying hi to me for the sole reason that statistics are being compiled.
So anyway I'm considering talking about Guns 'N Roses cancelling their Maine show because they wouldn't be allowed to drink on stage. Read about it here. Boy, Axl! Talk about missing the ultimate rock 'n roll moment! A true rockstar would have at least broken the law and put on a great show. You just showed that you suck in every way.
Also, I went to Wal-Mart for some reason tonight. Some guy tried to watch me while I tried to play Guitar Hero II. That's not the point I'm trying to make, though. My cashier greeted me friendily. I suppose I mildly appreciated it until I swiped my debit card and before I could proceed with my transaction, the machine asked me "Did your cashier greet you today?" Suddenly all the sincerity that may have been in the original greeting was completely sucked away.
So obviously I'm against Wal-Mart using me to observe the friendliness of their workers. The last thing I need is someone begrudgingly saying hi to me for the sole reason that statistics are being compiled.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
day of the dead and bloated ii
Just about the hardest thing about keeping a regular blog is trying to figure out a clever title for the entries. Fortunately I realized just today that I've been keeping a blog for just over a year now and I can start re-using titles now that the same events are happening over again.
So I guess I can finally relax now that Halloween is over again. It really is more stressful than Christmas now. It should be, as it's the final barrier keeping Christmas preparations from spilling into July. Unfortunately there were some casualties this year. We weren't able to make a film, which I feel sort of guilty about. We have the means, the energy and the locale but inspiration just flew out the window. Hopefully a film will get made before Halloween next year (and it doesn't necessarily need to fall in the Halloween season -- I'm up for the scary business year round (not just when I have an excuse)). No trick-or-treaters came to my new house; at least not that that I know of. It didn't help that I arrived home at like 8:30 and I found that our porchlight doesn't work at the moment. Looks like I'll have to get really depressed and eat all the caramel Reese's Cups and LaffyTaffys all by myself.
I am happy to say that although I didn't finish the lyrics in time, J.R. and I were able to finish this year's Halloween CD. Here's the playlist:
1 Nothing to Fear (But Fear Itself)- Oingo Boingo
2 The Night is Young - Nosferatu
3 Splintered in Her Head - The Cure
4 Is She Weird - The Pixies
5 Light Years - 311
6 Boogie Monster - Gnarls Barkley
7 Psychic Voodoo Doll - Deadbolt
8 Iron Head - Rob Zombie
9 Red Right Hand - Nick Cave
10 Tubular Bells - Book of Love
11 WitchCraft - Frank Sinatra
12 Scary Monsters - David Bowie
13 Torture - The Jacksons
14 Overkill - Men at Work
15 Sell My Soul - Midnight Oil
16 Zee Deveel - Incubus
17 Hellraiser - Ozzie Ozbourne
18 I will Follow You Into the Dark - Death Cab For Cutie
19 Straight To Hell - The Clash
Every song can be individually emailed to you if you so desire to partake. J.R. did an excellent job mixing the film audio with the music, especially for Nothing to Fear (But Fear Itself) and I Will Follow You Into the Dark. I need to get crackin' on those lyrics before J.R. removes me as Co-President of Jon.R Productions.
Oh yeah! Costumes! Check this shiz out:
Hmm. Blogger doesn't seem to be accepting my photos. I'll put them here as soon as I can. Rest assured they are pretty awesome. If I can never get the photos up let me just tell you: I went as The Crow. Actually, I guess that's not actually his name; it's just the name of the movie. Hmm. I went as the guy in The Crow. The girls bought freaky dolls and dresseds as them. My friend Joe dressed as Danialsan dressed as a shower before he gets the crap beaten out of him by ninja skeletons.
Hmm. I guess I'll add the other photos when blogger isn't having a cow (I had to upload the above image as a file rather than a picture so I couldn't format it the same way I normally do).
I've already said this in other media, but I'll go ahead and reinstate here really quick. I don't like the idea of guys dressing like male strippers. Apparently it has become really popular this year I've noticed. I guess the girls are into it, which really makes me regret all the support I've given to girls dressing like the equivalent of prostitutes every year. Oh well, I may not be so social next Halloween. I may become an oldschool Halloween hermit who cares more about the scares than the bares (sorry, that rhyme was pretty groany).
So yeah, I ranted all about that on The Abel Hour yesterday. We had a special show with Scott Johnson, the guy from myextralife.com. He's no slouch in the broadcasting department. He runs his own very entertaining geek podcast and he's been a guest with us before with stuff like this. Anyway, I had a lot to say about Halloween (and Star Trek for some reason) and if you want to, the broadcast is right here (you may as well download it by right clicking instead of just clicking because it's sort of big and you're not gonna wanna have to re-load it when you play it for your friends later)
So I guess I can finally relax now that Halloween is over again. It really is more stressful than Christmas now. It should be, as it's the final barrier keeping Christmas preparations from spilling into July. Unfortunately there were some casualties this year. We weren't able to make a film, which I feel sort of guilty about. We have the means, the energy and the locale but inspiration just flew out the window. Hopefully a film will get made before Halloween next year (and it doesn't necessarily need to fall in the Halloween season -- I'm up for the scary business year round (not just when I have an excuse)). No trick-or-treaters came to my new house; at least not that that I know of. It didn't help that I arrived home at like 8:30 and I found that our porchlight doesn't work at the moment. Looks like I'll have to get really depressed and eat all the caramel Reese's Cups and LaffyTaffys all by myself.
I am happy to say that although I didn't finish the lyrics in time, J.R. and I were able to finish this year's Halloween CD. Here's the playlist:
1 Nothing to Fear (But Fear Itself)- Oingo Boingo
2 The Night is Young - Nosferatu
3 Splintered in Her Head - The Cure
4 Is She Weird - The Pixies
5 Light Years - 311
6 Boogie Monster - Gnarls Barkley
7 Psychic Voodoo Doll - Deadbolt
8 Iron Head - Rob Zombie
9 Red Right Hand - Nick Cave
10 Tubular Bells - Book of Love
11 WitchCraft - Frank Sinatra
12 Scary Monsters - David Bowie
13 Torture - The Jacksons
14 Overkill - Men at Work
15 Sell My Soul - Midnight Oil
16 Zee Deveel - Incubus
17 Hellraiser - Ozzie Ozbourne
18 I will Follow You Into the Dark - Death Cab For Cutie
19 Straight To Hell - The Clash
Every song can be individually emailed to you if you so desire to partake. J.R. did an excellent job mixing the film audio with the music, especially for Nothing to Fear (But Fear Itself) and I Will Follow You Into the Dark. I need to get crackin' on those lyrics before J.R. removes me as Co-President of Jon.R Productions.
Oh yeah! Costumes! Check this shiz out:
Hmm. Blogger doesn't seem to be accepting my photos. I'll put them here as soon as I can. Rest assured they are pretty awesome. If I can never get the photos up let me just tell you: I went as The Crow. Actually, I guess that's not actually his name; it's just the name of the movie. Hmm. I went as the guy in The Crow. The girls bought freaky dolls and dresseds as them. My friend Joe dressed as Danialsan dressed as a shower before he gets the crap beaten out of him by ninja skeletons.
Hmm. I guess I'll add the other photos when blogger isn't having a cow (I had to upload the above image as a file rather than a picture so I couldn't format it the same way I normally do).
I've already said this in other media, but I'll go ahead and reinstate here really quick. I don't like the idea of guys dressing like male strippers. Apparently it has become really popular this year I've noticed. I guess the girls are into it, which really makes me regret all the support I've given to girls dressing like the equivalent of prostitutes every year. Oh well, I may not be so social next Halloween. I may become an oldschool Halloween hermit who cares more about the scares than the bares (sorry, that rhyme was pretty groany).
So yeah, I ranted all about that on The Abel Hour yesterday. We had a special show with Scott Johnson, the guy from myextralife.com. He's no slouch in the broadcasting department. He runs his own very entertaining geek podcast and he's been a guest with us before with stuff like this. Anyway, I had a lot to say about Halloween (and Star Trek for some reason) and if you want to, the broadcast is right here (you may as well download it by right clicking instead of just clicking because it's sort of big and you're not gonna wanna have to re-load it when you play it for your friends later)
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Thursday, October 19, 2006
sold soul lacks opportunity
Earlier this week on the way out of work I audibly remarked to myself "I'd sell my soul for a donut." I said this, of course, because I was hungry and my thoughts turn to famous Homer lines from Simpsons Halloween episodes at this time of year. Another reason is that this season's Halloween cd installment that J.R. and I do every year seems to have thematically taken a turn directly toward something out of Dante's Inferno. Perhaps I shouldn't have watched Hellraiser last week. I certainly wouldn't recommend it to anyone else.
Anyway, after I arrived home 45 minuts later, I discovered a box of Krispy Kreme donuts on the kitchen table. I gobbled one down that had black and orange frosting. The next day I went to Institute partially to save my soul, but mostly to check it out and see if they had anything to eat. After a short wander around, I found my refreshments in the northeast chapel. Donuts. Lots of them. All alone. I had a chocolate donut, and could have eaten several more, but decided against it. Attending class I discovered that the food was meant to be eaten after the session I was attending, so it's a good thing I didn't take any more (since it seemed like the class was heavily overbooked) The next day, I came across no donuts at all.
Halloween has grown in popularity exponentially over the past few years. For the most part I love the fact that people are more heavily embracing my favorite holiday. It means I at least have people to hang out with while the dark festivities happen. This year I'm sort of annoyed.
Last week was Friday the 13th of October, which only happens every few years. It's a wonderful wonderful dual-dark holiday. Unfortunately, I'm not used to making my mid-month dark holiday plans in advance. Anyway, next time you attempt to rent a scary movie on Friday the 13th of October, think ahead. I went to three or four Hollywood videos looking for the aforementioned Hellraiser, but had no luck finding it on DVD (I did finally find it on VHS at the Hollywood on 7th North and Redwood Road). I was actually amazed to see that 90% of ALL horror movies were checked out. I thought it very unusual to see that much bare shelf in the video store. It's as if they were completely renovating. And good luck finding Friday the 13th at all(although I strangely found Friday the 13th Part III (maybe I should have picked it up while I could -- surely I could use some of its lines for this year's Halloween cd considering the timeliness of the date)).
Although I'm way behind in my Halloween duties I figured I could at least paint my phone. Lately, I've gotten into the practice of using nail polish to paint my phone according to the season (WATCH! By next year it'll be huge. Just you wait). Of course I use nail polish because it isn't chalky like acrylic paints so the phone retains its smoothness. Last night I stopped into what I assumed was the best possible place to pick up nail polish -- Rite Aid. I guess not so bizarrely, all the black nail polish of every brand was completely sold out of the store. Instead of getting plain old black I got "Starry Night." Looking at my phone at this very moment I'm realizing that it's a lot closer to purple than black. Unfortunately I went to the store alone and didn't have a set of non-colorblind eyes. I blame Halloween.
I can hardly believe I just said that. Once upon a time I was complaining that people just didn't get into it enough. Now I long for the days when there weren't so many of us.
Last week I had a colonoscopy done. I'm not afraid to admit it. Just like nail polishing phones, colonoscopies are going to be all the rage in the near future. However, they might be more like what they are in this link that Abel sent me here. A week ago this information would have been very useful.
Anyway, after I arrived home 45 minuts later, I discovered a box of Krispy Kreme donuts on the kitchen table. I gobbled one down that had black and orange frosting. The next day I went to Institute partially to save my soul, but mostly to check it out and see if they had anything to eat. After a short wander around, I found my refreshments in the northeast chapel. Donuts. Lots of them. All alone. I had a chocolate donut, and could have eaten several more, but decided against it. Attending class I discovered that the food was meant to be eaten after the session I was attending, so it's a good thing I didn't take any more (since it seemed like the class was heavily overbooked) The next day, I came across no donuts at all.
Halloween has grown in popularity exponentially over the past few years. For the most part I love the fact that people are more heavily embracing my favorite holiday. It means I at least have people to hang out with while the dark festivities happen. This year I'm sort of annoyed.
Last week was Friday the 13th of October, which only happens every few years. It's a wonderful wonderful dual-dark holiday. Unfortunately, I'm not used to making my mid-month dark holiday plans in advance. Anyway, next time you attempt to rent a scary movie on Friday the 13th of October, think ahead. I went to three or four Hollywood videos looking for the aforementioned Hellraiser, but had no luck finding it on DVD (I did finally find it on VHS at the Hollywood on 7th North and Redwood Road). I was actually amazed to see that 90% of ALL horror movies were checked out. I thought it very unusual to see that much bare shelf in the video store. It's as if they were completely renovating. And good luck finding Friday the 13th at all(although I strangely found Friday the 13th Part III (maybe I should have picked it up while I could -- surely I could use some of its lines for this year's Halloween cd considering the timeliness of the date)).
Although I'm way behind in my Halloween duties I figured I could at least paint my phone. Lately, I've gotten into the practice of using nail polish to paint my phone according to the season (WATCH! By next year it'll be huge. Just you wait). Of course I use nail polish because it isn't chalky like acrylic paints so the phone retains its smoothness. Last night I stopped into what I assumed was the best possible place to pick up nail polish -- Rite Aid. I guess not so bizarrely, all the black nail polish of every brand was completely sold out of the store. Instead of getting plain old black I got "Starry Night." Looking at my phone at this very moment I'm realizing that it's a lot closer to purple than black. Unfortunately I went to the store alone and didn't have a set of non-colorblind eyes. I blame Halloween.
I can hardly believe I just said that. Once upon a time I was complaining that people just didn't get into it enough. Now I long for the days when there weren't so many of us.
Last week I had a colonoscopy done. I'm not afraid to admit it. Just like nail polishing phones, colonoscopies are going to be all the rage in the near future. However, they might be more like what they are in this link that Abel sent me here. A week ago this information would have been very useful.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
lost in pair of guise
So obviously Lost went back on tv last night. Since I haven't written anything in here lately, I may as well post up the rough draft of the review I wrote for FreeCapitalist.com.
Ready and begin.
The best thing Lost has going for it is its potential for misdirection. In other words, the best thing is its ability to keep us in the dark perceptually. In other words, it wants to keep us lost.
The surprises come right at the beginning of the season premiere. We’re treated to witnessing an everyday book club event complete with suburban housing furniture, tea and obnoxious suburban book club friends. Very normal. Then the plane crashes. Suddenly these aren’t normal people. We realize in this misdirecting flashback that these are The Others – the people who kidnapped our three heroes at the end of last season. Of course just because we call them “our heroes,” it doesn’t mean that all three of them aren’t actually ex-felons.
The Others (or “our villains”), now, are in the forefront. They have faces. They have a thriving community. Although we don’t understand why they do the things they do, we can tell by their reaction of the plane crashing in their backyard that what they are doing (at least to themselves) is urgent rather than sinister. Strangely, I’m inclined to believe Ben (the weird leader of The Others) when he said to Michael (the guy who betrayed his friends in order to find his son) at the end of last season, “We’re the good guys.”
The good guys? That’s a hard pill to swallow especially since we know that these people have kidnapped several of the doomed flight passengers and purposefully manipulated many of the rest. Of course a matter of perspective is in order. While the two groups have been busy miscommunicating with each other, several more of The Others lay dead at the hands of the doomed passengers than the other way around. Do these stats make Ben and The Others the good guys after all? Are our heroes really the bad guys, but we side with them because we know them better?
The only certainty is that every single individual on this island believes they are in the right. People may do unprincipled things, but nobody actively proclaims that they’re evil. They don’t even know they are, especially when they’re only acting in their self-interest. Circumstance may give us an opportunity to impose torture, deceive those around us and take what isn’t ours. The survivors are learning that doing such things may serve interests as well as provide for the common good, but such things are unprincipled. As a result, they need to deal with the “other unprincipled good guys.”
Everybody on that dang island is lost in just about every sense of the word. They all have so much potential to lose their way even more. In the meantime, we’re not given the perspective we need to prevent ourselves from getting lost. It’s fun to watch and no doubt it will be enlightening for all of us when we’re allowed to see the whole picture along with everyone else.
The truly great thing about the show is its presentation that the proper perspective isn’t always a certainty. Despite how good we say we are, a failure to abide to the proper principles truly gets us lost.
Ready and begin.
The best thing Lost has going for it is its potential for misdirection. In other words, the best thing is its ability to keep us in the dark perceptually. In other words, it wants to keep us lost.
The surprises come right at the beginning of the season premiere. We’re treated to witnessing an everyday book club event complete with suburban housing furniture, tea and obnoxious suburban book club friends. Very normal. Then the plane crashes. Suddenly these aren’t normal people. We realize in this misdirecting flashback that these are The Others – the people who kidnapped our three heroes at the end of last season. Of course just because we call them “our heroes,” it doesn’t mean that all three of them aren’t actually ex-felons.
The Others (or “our villains”), now, are in the forefront. They have faces. They have a thriving community. Although we don’t understand why they do the things they do, we can tell by their reaction of the plane crashing in their backyard that what they are doing (at least to themselves) is urgent rather than sinister. Strangely, I’m inclined to believe Ben (the weird leader of The Others) when he said to Michael (the guy who betrayed his friends in order to find his son) at the end of last season, “We’re the good guys.”
The good guys? That’s a hard pill to swallow especially since we know that these people have kidnapped several of the doomed flight passengers and purposefully manipulated many of the rest. Of course a matter of perspective is in order. While the two groups have been busy miscommunicating with each other, several more of The Others lay dead at the hands of the doomed passengers than the other way around. Do these stats make Ben and The Others the good guys after all? Are our heroes really the bad guys, but we side with them because we know them better?
The only certainty is that every single individual on this island believes they are in the right. People may do unprincipled things, but nobody actively proclaims that they’re evil. They don’t even know they are, especially when they’re only acting in their self-interest. Circumstance may give us an opportunity to impose torture, deceive those around us and take what isn’t ours. The survivors are learning that doing such things may serve interests as well as provide for the common good, but such things are unprincipled. As a result, they need to deal with the “other unprincipled good guys.”
Everybody on that dang island is lost in just about every sense of the word. They all have so much potential to lose their way even more. In the meantime, we’re not given the perspective we need to prevent ourselves from getting lost. It’s fun to watch and no doubt it will be enlightening for all of us when we’re allowed to see the whole picture along with everyone else.
The truly great thing about the show is its presentation that the proper perspective isn’t always a certainty. Despite how good we say we are, a failure to abide to the proper principles truly gets us lost.
Friday, September 22, 2006
pushing buttons (officially)
Right now I'm sitting at work merely waiting. It's 51 minutes past 6. At 59 minutes and 50 seconds past 6 I need to push the "hang up" on the Nexus ISDN machine that is presently dialed into 630 KTKK AM broadcasting the taped show I'm running from last month. In order to begin broadcasting it I had to push the "dial" button about 116 minutes ago. Our computer plays the pre-recorded show automatically because I programmed it in a few hours ago (incorrectly actually, because it's Friday and a couple of other reasons). On days like this I can almost automate everything and not come into work at all, except for that dang button. I also came in early and pushed it 598 minutes ago because the guys who usually do it in the morning had some important conference to go to (my R.S.V.P was denied). Of course pushing the button 598 minutes ago means I had to push it again 475 minutes ago so we don't waste using the super-expensive broadcast line. That's pretty much my day.
I spent the last month getting into Lost and I'm amazed that I only just realized in the past few minutes why the show connected with me so personally. In the meantime, I'm finally with the rest of you and am very very curious as to how this whole island/end of the world thing turns out. I'm real glad Desmond is back. He's got some sweet charisma. BTW, I think that The Others are telling the truth when they say they're the good guys. The Dharma Initiative is probably bad and The Others are probably on the island to undo whatever Dharma did. Just a guess. I mean, the castaways have actually killed more of The Others than the other way around.
Did anyone catch the office last night? I knew Jim would wind up with the transfer. I must admit they really expanded the corner they painted themselves into. Now we're treated to the weirdoes at Jim's new workplace as well. Good show! Good show!
I spent the last month getting into Lost and I'm amazed that I only just realized in the past few minutes why the show connected with me so personally. In the meantime, I'm finally with the rest of you and am very very curious as to how this whole island/end of the world thing turns out. I'm real glad Desmond is back. He's got some sweet charisma. BTW, I think that The Others are telling the truth when they say they're the good guys. The Dharma Initiative is probably bad and The Others are probably on the island to undo whatever Dharma did. Just a guess. I mean, the castaways have actually killed more of The Others than the other way around.
Did anyone catch the office last night? I knew Jim would wind up with the transfer. I must admit they really expanded the corner they painted themselves into. Now we're treated to the weirdoes at Jim's new workplace as well. Good show! Good show!
Friday, September 15, 2006
abel hour enabled
So today might be the last time The Abel Hour broadcasts over actual radio frequencies. I'm confident that we'll still be online for some time, but our radio lease is up. In the meantime, go to www.theabelhour.com for your fix of hearing my voice (and, i suppose, Abel's). Anyway, hopefully the boss boss will shell out a little bit to continue the radio thing. I don't anticipate progress unless that happens. Things are positive, though. Apparently even though lots of people in the company are mysteriously disturbed by our little show, the one in charge thinks it's a positive option and wishes it to continue (of course it's far far far from priority one). So while we may be in interim, please let me know what we should talk about in the future. Also, please call in when you can (remember the number is 1-800-331-4301). Also, please book guests for us. Doing a radio show is actually strangely exhausting.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
puke puke puke puke of hurl hurl hurl
Just so you know, I totally threw up at the State Fair just a few seconds after this picture was taken. The ride is called The Tornado and it's not too bad, but it did me in after eating State Fair Panda Express and riding The Zipper (awesome although at one point I was willing to expose national security secrets in order to get off), the gliders, the Tidal Wave-type boat thingie, the Fun Slide (a half truth) and the Musical Express type cars thingie. Richard, the guy next to me, puked also. I was remarking to Maria earlier that it was pretty much the most miserable fair experience ever, but to be honest (and judging from my facial expression in the picture) it was TOTALLY worth it.
when a supernova becomes a black hole
Thanks a lot America. Actually, thanks a lot world. You just voted this d.b. as your new pseudo reality heavy poprock hybrid king. Did I mention he's Canadian? What's wrong with you people? Is it his voice? It sucks. Is it his abnormal upper cranium? Ug. I actually miss J.D. Fortune.
I can't believe it came down to him and Dilanna -- my two least favorite contestants from the very beginning. Magni was eliminated first of course, followed by the nice squishy guy from Australia I totally wouldn't have minded winning, Toby. Fortunately, at least, I was able to snag ten bucks from Rhett who bet me that Dilanna would win. I knew for a fact that they'd never pick the girl unless she ran away with it from the very beginning and was far and away ahead. Rock bands can't seriously consider girls, because the fan base doesn't tend to take girl rockers seriously. Amy Lee did a good job, but it's not because she rocks. It's because her stuff is far originaler. Or was far originaler. I doubt the Evanesense new stuff is any good. Shirley Manson is ok, but Garbage is more weird than rock. Anyway, sucks to be a girl. You can be American Idols, but you can't be Rockstars. I know, I know. I hate it too. It's a shame. Girls are cute.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
when a star becomes a supernova
Don't have much time, so I'll get right to the point. Tonight is the season finale of Rockstar: Supernova (for the uninformed, this show is an American Idol-type show where people compete to be the lead singer of a band called Supernova (Supernova is a supergroup composed of Tommy Lee of Motley Crue, Gilby Clarke of Guns 'N Roses and Jason Newsted of Metallica (Jason Newsted is quite strange and it's easy to see why the band hazed him for 15 straight years))). Tonight they pick the new lead singer. From the very first episode I had my picks going on. I hated Dilanna and Lukas. Dilanna is a smoky voiced demon from Hell and Lukas may even be more pathetically Canadian than last year's winner J.D. Fortune...
(a comment should be made about last year -- I think it's safe to say that I got all my friends to watch Rockstar because last year (the first year) the band in need of a new lead singer was INXS. INXS was actually my favorite band growing up so I actually had a vested interest in who their new lead singer would be. Anyway, I decided very early on that I hated the wussy Canadian J.D. Fortune and I loved Marty Casey. Casey would go on to write the song of the year ("Trees" (omigosh! I think I forgot to include it in the songs of the year for last year! Curses!), but come in second to the snivelling Canuck got the gig)
...Yeah, so anyway I also decided that I liked the brazen, ridiculously overacting Storm Large and also the single-named bald wonder from Reykjavik, Magni.
Storm, sadly, was eliminated last week (much to the rejoicement of my friends Kristi and Stephanie who watch Rockstar independent of my usual watching group and came to the opposite conclusion of Storm's merits). Magni, however has stayed strong and is in the top four. Strangely, the demonic twosome of Dilanna and Lukas also managed to worm their way into the final four (rounding out the four is the girlie-fave Aussie named Toby Rand. He's adequate enough. He's got a fat head, but I wouldn't mind if he won). I have this fear that Supernova really prefer Dilanna and Lukas, because if there was any justice in the world they would be gone long ago. Dilanna made disparaging remarks about her fellow contestants and then martyred herself on her own mistake. Lukas doesn't know how to sing with a microphone, but he's good at emulating the screamo shiz all 19-year-olds apparently love right now.
Sorry, what's the point of all this? The point is, go to rockstar.msn.com and vote for Magni. Iceland needs to be on the map.
He actually sang the best bald version of "Creep" by Radiohead I've ever ever heard (beating out Moby's version he sang at In the Venue a few years ago).
(a comment should be made about last year -- I think it's safe to say that I got all my friends to watch Rockstar because last year (the first year) the band in need of a new lead singer was INXS. INXS was actually my favorite band growing up so I actually had a vested interest in who their new lead singer would be. Anyway, I decided very early on that I hated the wussy Canadian J.D. Fortune and I loved Marty Casey. Casey would go on to write the song of the year ("Trees" (omigosh! I think I forgot to include it in the songs of the year for last year! Curses!), but come in second to the snivelling Canuck got the gig)
...Yeah, so anyway I also decided that I liked the brazen, ridiculously overacting Storm Large and also the single-named bald wonder from Reykjavik, Magni.
Storm, sadly, was eliminated last week (much to the rejoicement of my friends Kristi and Stephanie who watch Rockstar independent of my usual watching group and came to the opposite conclusion of Storm's merits). Magni, however has stayed strong and is in the top four. Strangely, the demonic twosome of Dilanna and Lukas also managed to worm their way into the final four (rounding out the four is the girlie-fave Aussie named Toby Rand. He's adequate enough. He's got a fat head, but I wouldn't mind if he won). I have this fear that Supernova really prefer Dilanna and Lukas, because if there was any justice in the world they would be gone long ago. Dilanna made disparaging remarks about her fellow contestants and then martyred herself on her own mistake. Lukas doesn't know how to sing with a microphone, but he's good at emulating the screamo shiz all 19-year-olds apparently love right now.
Sorry, what's the point of all this? The point is, go to rockstar.msn.com and vote for Magni. Iceland needs to be on the map.
He actually sang the best bald version of "Creep" by Radiohead I've ever ever heard (beating out Moby's version he sang at In the Venue a few years ago).
Monday, September 11, 2006
five years of terror
Well, today's the big anniversary! What is it, wood? I guess we're supposed to give wood for five year anniversaries. Anybody got wood?
Living in the age of terror is a bit more vivid than the ice age I remember during the eighties But did you ever catch The Day After on TV? Yeah, in many ways, the constant threat of nuclear holocaust is nothing compared to the threat of out of control planes. Oh well. It doesn't matter who you are, someone's always out to get you. Hey remember the nineties? There was no Cold War, there were no terror alerts. Why were we so uptight and full of angst back then?
I remember the day vividly. It was the first time I ever used the line, "So... in this new age of worldwide terror, surely the moral constraints we're used to can be relaxed a little..." It didn't work then and it hasn't worked since. Something's gotta change.
Living in the age of terror is a bit more vivid than the ice age I remember during the eighties But did you ever catch The Day After on TV? Yeah, in many ways, the constant threat of nuclear holocaust is nothing compared to the threat of out of control planes. Oh well. It doesn't matter who you are, someone's always out to get you. Hey remember the nineties? There was no Cold War, there were no terror alerts. Why were we so uptight and full of angst back then?
I remember the day vividly. It was the first time I ever used the line, "So... in this new age of worldwide terror, surely the moral constraints we're used to can be relaxed a little..." It didn't work then and it hasn't worked since. Something's gotta change.
Friday, September 01, 2006
i only have three years to live
Most of my peers don't know what the icy hand of death feels like. I do. Honestly, it's not too bad. It feels like... nothing.
Laura talked me into taking the realage quiz. The quiz gauges lifestyle activity and medical history in order to better determine your age beyond simple chronology. It's pretty in-depth and took about 15 minutes to fill out. For some reason I totally deluded myself into thinking I'd score well on it just because I don't feel or act old. My real age? 39. In the blink of an eye I aged ten years.
Denial, of course, is the first step. I'm still in denial actually. I'm not denying that. Much denial, of course, is justified. Several of the questions didn't have to do with aging, in my opinion. I got docked a lot because I drive 100 miles a day. Now I do agree that I am at much more risk for accidents, but I still don't see how driving actually ages my body. The test also asks about the health situation of the taker's parents. The fact that my father died at 42 of colon cancer certainly didn't help. Speaking of, I need to get that checked soon. I just hope I don't feel too cheap and used when it's all over. Anyway, also late in the test it asked what kind of medication I was taking for my angina. I never told the test I even had angina. I actually thought only girls had angina.
*Sigh* As much as I deny it my lack of breakfast eating skills, tendency for fast food, disdain for mattresses and allergy to sweat have taken their toll and I'm now old. I wouldn't feel too incredibly bad if I didn't take an IQ test the week before. Although I still scored incredibly high on the IQ test, it was actually eight points LESS than it was when I took the same test five years ago. So my mind is going too. Oh well, what's the difference? The only think IQ tests measure is ability to take IQ tests.
Like I said, it feels like... nothing.
Laura talked me into taking the realage quiz. The quiz gauges lifestyle activity and medical history in order to better determine your age beyond simple chronology. It's pretty in-depth and took about 15 minutes to fill out. For some reason I totally deluded myself into thinking I'd score well on it just because I don't feel or act old. My real age? 39. In the blink of an eye I aged ten years.
Denial, of course, is the first step. I'm still in denial actually. I'm not denying that. Much denial, of course, is justified. Several of the questions didn't have to do with aging, in my opinion. I got docked a lot because I drive 100 miles a day. Now I do agree that I am at much more risk for accidents, but I still don't see how driving actually ages my body. The test also asks about the health situation of the taker's parents. The fact that my father died at 42 of colon cancer certainly didn't help. Speaking of, I need to get that checked soon. I just hope I don't feel too cheap and used when it's all over. Anyway, also late in the test it asked what kind of medication I was taking for my angina. I never told the test I even had angina. I actually thought only girls had angina.
*Sigh* As much as I deny it my lack of breakfast eating skills, tendency for fast food, disdain for mattresses and allergy to sweat have taken their toll and I'm now old. I wouldn't feel too incredibly bad if I didn't take an IQ test the week before. Although I still scored incredibly high on the IQ test, it was actually eight points LESS than it was when I took the same test five years ago. So my mind is going too. Oh well, what's the difference? The only think IQ tests measure is ability to take IQ tests.
Like I said, it feels like... nothing.
Monday, August 21, 2006
i oughtta be in pictures
In case anyone was wondering how Rhett's birthday party went, here it is:
Yeah, our get-togethers probably won't be as depraved as they used to be since we moved into this fancy-schmancy house.
A few days ago I actually saw an Arab LITERALLY controlling the gas prices at the gas station down the road. I cried (because I was really tired at the time).
In a strange twist of hope I witnessed a Toyota Prius pass me in the carpool lane a few minutes later. I cried again (because I was adjusting to my new eye drops).
Maria and I officially went out a couple of weekends ago and I got a picture of it. It's as official as I get anyway. She won the "Win Jon Asking You Out" prize on The Abel Hour. It was an awesome excuse to go to Ottavio's. Speaking of The Abel Hour, please please please please listen. We probably only have a couple of weeks left.
Lagoon happened again. It was so adequate I could barely believe it. We were able to go on everything we wanted to, unlike last year. Last year may have been a bit more exuberant, however. Oh well. The Spider is the way to go. We rode it twice pretty hard.
Yeah, our get-togethers probably won't be as depraved as they used to be since we moved into this fancy-schmancy house.
A few days ago I actually saw an Arab LITERALLY controlling the gas prices at the gas station down the road. I cried (because I was really tired at the time).
In a strange twist of hope I witnessed a Toyota Prius pass me in the carpool lane a few minutes later. I cried again (because I was adjusting to my new eye drops).
Maria and I officially went out a couple of weekends ago and I got a picture of it. It's as official as I get anyway. She won the "Win Jon Asking You Out" prize on The Abel Hour. It was an awesome excuse to go to Ottavio's. Speaking of The Abel Hour, please please please please listen. We probably only have a couple of weeks left.
Lagoon happened again. It was so adequate I could barely believe it. We were able to go on everything we wanted to, unlike last year. Last year may have been a bit more exuberant, however. Oh well. The Spider is the way to go. We rode it twice pretty hard.
music for the miniscule masses
I was pretty depressed for no reason at all today. Sometimes I get that way when something is wrong, but I don't know what it is yet. I realized the problem when I checked my email. MODified Music, my favorite music store is going out of business. The owner sends out an email every week and the one he sent today dropped the bomb. Now I feel really guilty about taking all my used cds into Greywhale a couple of weeks ago. Anyway, it's very unfortunate because MODified specializes in 80s alternative, techno, industrial, goth -- you know, the stuff I listen to when YOU'RE not around. The bonus is that they are now selling their stock of music AT COST. If you want to pick something up, the store is located right next to the Pie.
In brighter news, while I was in Provo today, I noticed that KOHS is back on the air! KOHS is Orem High School's station and they are the awesomest station down there. It's a double bonus, because not only do they play commercial-free fairly decent music, but it's totally obvious that the djs receive absolutely NO on-air training. Yeah, the loss of KOHS is always the most depressing thing about summer and autumn's coolest redemption.
In brighter news, while I was in Provo today, I noticed that KOHS is back on the air! KOHS is Orem High School's station and they are the awesomest station down there. It's a double bonus, because not only do they play commercial-free fairly decent music, but it's totally obvious that the djs receive absolutely NO on-air training. Yeah, the loss of KOHS is always the most depressing thing about summer and autumn's coolest redemption.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
rhettacular rhettacular
Today is my super good friend Rhett's birthday! To commemorate the occasion I'm cutting, pasting and editing that song from The Simpsons that Bart and that one guy who thought he was Michael Jackson sang to Lisa for her birthday:
Rhett and I aren't really that similar on the surface, but after you get to know us it's actually scary how much we're the same. It's one of those things where something will happen and one of us will respond to a question the other had without him actually asking it and then the other one answering the train of thought the other had a half hour later.
It's one of those things where ten years from now I'll be on a secret mission to save the world and I'm running through the streets of London or Istanbul or something with this totally hot girl who gets mixed up in everything and then the evil mastermind finally corners us and he steps out of the shadows to monologue a little and... and... IT'S HIM! IT'S RHETT!
(kind of like Goldeneye or Sneakers)
He'll say something like, "So it's come to this. It could have been so different, Jon. You could have joined me. You could have had the world serve you instead of you serving the world. We were never that different, you and I. I always figured you'd be at my side in my moment of triumph."
After that he'll motion to his henchman to get into position so that we don't escape, and I'll know I'll have to think fast. He goes on, "Tis a pity. Now you'll be no better off than all the other poor fools who've tried to stop me."
At that moment he will turn to his henchman and cross his thumb twice over his throat making a "shk shk" sound as he does so. Instantly, I'll push the barrel containing a homeless kerosene fire toward him while at the same time flipping the lit piece of wood sticking off the edge of it behind me, making sure to duck and push the hot girl's body beneath my own, so as not to be hit by the fiery piece of timber. As the kerosene fire engulfs part of Rhett, the torch will hit the henchman in the face as he lets out a Wilhelm scream. I'll grab the beautiful girl by the wrist and Rhett will douse himself quickly and re-compose himself brandishing his sleek pearl-handled pistol. We'll be halfway down the other end of the alley weaving between boxes by the time he fires his fourth shot.
"You may have gotten away, but it's too late for everyone else," he'll say as he cackles.
As we round the corner and duck into an opium den, the beautiful girl will grab my face with both hands yell, "There's no time! Who is he?! What are we up against?!"
We'll be huddled together out to hide and out of fear and while our bodies are heaving in unison from shortness of breath caused by running and adrenaline I'd loudly whisper, "It can't be... It... can't... be... It's HIM! He knows me too well! Whatever we do, HE'LL ALWAYS BE ONE STEP AHEAD!"
Yeah, that's pretty much where I see us ten years from now. Of course since he's the one who loves Independence Day and also gravitates toward hundreds of beautiful women... the roles will probably be reversed.
Anyway, we're having cake and stuff at our new house in Salt Lake. Come by. Wish Rhett happy birthday.
Rhe-ett, it's your birthday. God bless you this day. You gave me the gift of a little sister, and I'm proud of you today. Rhe-ett, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Rhe-ett. Rhe-ett, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Rhe-ett. I wish you love and good will. I wish you peace and joy. I wish you better than your heart desires, and your first kiss from a boy. Rhe-ett, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Rhe-ett. Rhe-ett, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Rhe-ett. Yeah!So, not all of that made sense... especially since Rhett has already kissed a boy.
Rhett and I aren't really that similar on the surface, but after you get to know us it's actually scary how much we're the same. It's one of those things where something will happen and one of us will respond to a question the other had without him actually asking it and then the other one answering the train of thought the other had a half hour later.
It's one of those things where ten years from now I'll be on a secret mission to save the world and I'm running through the streets of London or Istanbul or something with this totally hot girl who gets mixed up in everything and then the evil mastermind finally corners us and he steps out of the shadows to monologue a little and... and... IT'S HIM! IT'S RHETT!
(kind of like Goldeneye or Sneakers)
He'll say something like, "So it's come to this. It could have been so different, Jon. You could have joined me. You could have had the world serve you instead of you serving the world. We were never that different, you and I. I always figured you'd be at my side in my moment of triumph."
After that he'll motion to his henchman to get into position so that we don't escape, and I'll know I'll have to think fast. He goes on, "Tis a pity. Now you'll be no better off than all the other poor fools who've tried to stop me."
At that moment he will turn to his henchman and cross his thumb twice over his throat making a "shk shk" sound as he does so. Instantly, I'll push the barrel containing a homeless kerosene fire toward him while at the same time flipping the lit piece of wood sticking off the edge of it behind me, making sure to duck and push the hot girl's body beneath my own, so as not to be hit by the fiery piece of timber. As the kerosene fire engulfs part of Rhett, the torch will hit the henchman in the face as he lets out a Wilhelm scream. I'll grab the beautiful girl by the wrist and Rhett will douse himself quickly and re-compose himself brandishing his sleek pearl-handled pistol. We'll be halfway down the other end of the alley weaving between boxes by the time he fires his fourth shot.
"You may have gotten away, but it's too late for everyone else," he'll say as he cackles.
As we round the corner and duck into an opium den, the beautiful girl will grab my face with both hands yell, "There's no time! Who is he?! What are we up against?!"
We'll be huddled together out to hide and out of fear and while our bodies are heaving in unison from shortness of breath caused by running and adrenaline I'd loudly whisper, "It can't be... It... can't... be... It's HIM! He knows me too well! Whatever we do, HE'LL ALWAYS BE ONE STEP AHEAD!"
Yeah, that's pretty much where I see us ten years from now. Of course since he's the one who loves Independence Day and also gravitates toward hundreds of beautiful women... the roles will probably be reversed.
Anyway, we're having cake and stuff at our new house in Salt Lake. Come by. Wish Rhett happy birthday.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
week end, weak now
The week started with my learning of my Grandmother's passing. You could probably tell from the last post that she hasn't been quite as vivacious as she used to be. She turned 95 in March, so she has the excuse.
The middle of the week consisted of doing lots of moving. I have way too much stuff. I hate being the last one out of a house. It's like being at a restaurant with friends and everybody leaves with their take-home boxes, but you still have to bus the table and do the dishes. Unfortunately I'm wicked nostalgic so, throwing stuff out is out of the question. Everyone who helped out was very patient. I promise to be patient with you next time I weasel out of helping you move. Everything's in now though. Please come by and arrange stuff for us. We may be a little tighter with room this time.
Work blows. I can't complain. I really do like my job, since part of my time there is devoted to doing my radio show. Doing other people's radio shows can be lameus magnus. We began doing two more this week. That means that somehow I need to engineer and edit sounds for these people in between no time at all because I have to sit there and listen to them talk all day. By Friday afternoon I had a pretty pounding headache as a result of moving, work and a change of sleeping habits. Maybe I also didn't eat too well. That tends to happen quite often.
Grandma's funeral was today. It's nice to have it on a Saturday, but I would have loved to skip a day of work for the occasion. With all the other things going on, I didn't think I'd have time to be emotional. We've kind of been planning on Grandma moving on with her existence for some time now anyway. I also really don't like looking at dead people, even when I know them well. I lost it when my brother Andy gave his tribute, though. He read what we all said about her and she deserved the accolades. We should have scheduled things differently, because right after that my brothers and I had to sing and we were all pitifully teary.
I'm now trapped in Provo with family until late tonight or maybe tomorrow. I need to keep getting moved in, but the funeral's over and it's really nice to relax. Tonight the midnight movie at the Tower is Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Everyone knows it's my seventh favorite movie. It's pretty fitting for today. It's about overcoming age and exhaustion. It's also about loyalty and sacrifice. I've said this all before people. If you can get to the Tower Theatre tonight by midnight, watch the movie. Allow me to quote Admiral Kirk's words about my grandmother:
I found out that 20 years ago she provided me and the rest of the grandkids with a pretty nice inheritance. Nice. I hope I'm that nice when I'm 75 (or even 95).
The middle of the week consisted of doing lots of moving. I have way too much stuff. I hate being the last one out of a house. It's like being at a restaurant with friends and everybody leaves with their take-home boxes, but you still have to bus the table and do the dishes. Unfortunately I'm wicked nostalgic so, throwing stuff out is out of the question. Everyone who helped out was very patient. I promise to be patient with you next time I weasel out of helping you move. Everything's in now though. Please come by and arrange stuff for us. We may be a little tighter with room this time.
Work blows. I can't complain. I really do like my job, since part of my time there is devoted to doing my radio show. Doing other people's radio shows can be lameus magnus. We began doing two more this week. That means that somehow I need to engineer and edit sounds for these people in between no time at all because I have to sit there and listen to them talk all day. By Friday afternoon I had a pretty pounding headache as a result of moving, work and a change of sleeping habits. Maybe I also didn't eat too well. That tends to happen quite often.
Grandma's funeral was today. It's nice to have it on a Saturday, but I would have loved to skip a day of work for the occasion. With all the other things going on, I didn't think I'd have time to be emotional. We've kind of been planning on Grandma moving on with her existence for some time now anyway. I also really don't like looking at dead people, even when I know them well. I lost it when my brother Andy gave his tribute, though. He read what we all said about her and she deserved the accolades. We should have scheduled things differently, because right after that my brothers and I had to sing and we were all pitifully teary.
I'm now trapped in Provo with family until late tonight or maybe tomorrow. I need to keep getting moved in, but the funeral's over and it's really nice to relax. Tonight the midnight movie at the Tower is Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Everyone knows it's my seventh favorite movie. It's pretty fitting for today. It's about overcoming age and exhaustion. It's also about loyalty and sacrifice. I've said this all before people. If you can get to the Tower Theatre tonight by midnight, watch the movie. Allow me to quote Admiral Kirk's words about my grandmother:
We are gathered here today to pay final respects to our honored dead. But it should be noted that this death takes place in the shadow of new life, the sunrise of a new world; a world that our beloved comrade gave her life to protect and nourish. She did not feel this sacrifice a vain or empty one, and we will not debate her profound wisdom at these proceedings. Of my friend, I can only say this: of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, hers was the most... human.
I found out that 20 years ago she provided me and the rest of the grandkids with a pretty nice inheritance. Nice. I hope I'm that nice when I'm 75 (or even 95).
Sunday, July 30, 2006
bye grandma
It's sad that it's not that sad. It's more sad that it was so sad last year when I realized I didn't have much time left with you, but so much of you was already gone. I should've had that conversation sooner. Sorry. We'll have that conversation soon. Keep God company.
Friday, July 28, 2006
i wanna pop! i wannaaaaaanswer!
Today at work, this guy Steve asked me if I had seen The World Series of Pop Culture on VH-1. He then told me that next year he, I and his buddy Antonio should definitely do it. A few months ago the three of us journeyed to Las Vegas together (the trip was somewhat chronicled in my entry called malja' mIqta') and chatted about movies the entire time. We also poked fun at how stereotypically Star Trek geeky some of our co-workers were, while we quoted some obscure Star Trek references ourselves (keep in mind this is the same trip where I bought a tribble and a Klingon dictionary). Steve and Antonio are pretty die-hard movie buffs (as well as die-hard filmmakers), so it's quite an honor to be (possibly jokingly) invited to be on the team (probably because their other friends aren't as geeky).
The fact is, The World Series of Pop Culture pays out $250,000. Kind of low end for game shows these days, but not chump change by any means (and you don't even have to eat any live stink spiders or anything). I've spoken with friends and roommates about this too. Just yesterday, on The Abel Hour I spoke with pop culturist extraordanaire, Scott Johnson, about it.
The World Series of Pop Culture might be something I have to be a part of.
Tonight I decided to see how well I'd do. I tuned in to the semi-final bout between two teams called Velvet Rope Revolution and Boeghy Bunch. I'm not going to say that I did well, but I will say that I did better than either team in the freaking finals of the freaking World Series of Pop Culture.
Round 1- high school movies
I swept this category. The first three answers were "Jeff Spiccoli," "In Your Eyes," and "Chet" (feel free in the comments section of this post to give me the questions). One of the teams missed the Clueless term for the actor family used as an adjective to describe a hot guy (my correct answer: "Baldwin"). The next question amazed me: "What is the dangerous ski course Lane Meyer skis on one ski in the movie Better Off Dead?" That question stumped both teams! The answer of course is "the K-12." Everyone I associate with knows that.
End of round 1.
Both semi-finalist teams in The World Series of Pop Culture: 3
Me, lying on my parents' couch: 5
Round 2- Seinfeld
The correct answers to the first five questions were: "Cosmo," "Soup Nazi," "Junior Mint," "Dolores" and "Jon Voight." Provide the questions please (most people I respect shouldn't have a hard time). The question that stumped the girl from Velvet Rope Revolution asked about the name of Jerry's favorite yellow shirt (my correct answer: "Golden Boy")
End of round 2.
Both teams: 8
Me: 11
Round 3- movies in a nutshell
In this round they gave a synopsis of a movie and the contestants named which movie was described. The first five answers were: "Throw Momma from the Train," "Fatal Attraction," "Bend it Like Beckham," "Soul Man" and "Harry and the Hendersons." The one I missed was at the very end and it was for the movie called Gotcha! Personally, I feel the flick was far more obscure than the rest of the bunch. Gotcha! only received 1,782 votes on imdb.com (compared with 19,839 votes for Bend it Like Beckham). Soul Man, I suppose is in nearly the same level of obscurity at 1,835 votes, but Gotcha! is still the most obscure one. I guess I'm being a little bit technical because this was the only question in the game that I actually missed. I don't feel too bad, though, because the contestant missed it too.
End of round 3.
Both teams: 13
Me: 16
Round 4- alternative music
Answers we all got: "Talking Heads," "Morrissey," "Rock Lobster," "London Calling." The question both teams missed was: "What single-word Depeche Mode album contains the singles "Personal Jesus" and "Enjoy the Silence?" Yes, you heard me right. BOTH teams missed this question. I just re-bought this cd a few days ago. I was going to actually write a blog entry on doing just that (perhaps I will later). The answer, of course, is Violator.
End of round 4.
Both teams: 17
Me: 21
Round 5- animated tv
Correct answers: "Chef," "Scrappy-doo," "The Great Pumpkin," "propane" and "Malibu Stacy" (which had the funniest question of the night with "What Simpsons doll had as one of its catchphrases 'Let's buy make-up so the boys will like us!'") The question the guy from Boeghy Bunch missed was "What band's name does Beavis sport on his t-shirt?" The guy guessed AC/DC, giving the Velvet Rope Revolution contestant a chance to steal. He guessed Metallica because he knew that Beavis and Butthead sported those two bands, but he couldn't recall which was which and the other contestant eliminated the alternate for him. Could I recall Beavis' shirt without the elimination? Yes.
End of round 5.
Both teams: 22
Me: 27
The last round actually ended in a tie between the two contestants. They went into a tie-breaking round that consisted of naming off as many celebrities from Dancing With the Stars as possible. I must admit that I didn't do well. The only one I could immediately think of was John O'hurley and that was only because I associated it with his dancing on Seinfeld. Both contestants on the show got four apiece, so in the tie-breaker they would have skewered me (of course it wouldn't have come to a tie-break if I were playing).
I began watching the next game of semi-finals. The first round was 80s movies I think and it was very profitable for me. I got two questions right that stumped both teams. The answers were "Marty Moose" (once again, guess the question) and "'Chopsticks' & 'Heart and Soul'" (this one is a little bit trickier). I would've finished watching it, but the first episode of Futurama was on the other channel. Enjoying pop culture is way more fun than watching other people get stumped by it.
The fact is, The World Series of Pop Culture pays out $250,000. Kind of low end for game shows these days, but not chump change by any means (and you don't even have to eat any live stink spiders or anything). I've spoken with friends and roommates about this too. Just yesterday, on The Abel Hour I spoke with pop culturist extraordanaire, Scott Johnson, about it.
The World Series of Pop Culture might be something I have to be a part of.
Tonight I decided to see how well I'd do. I tuned in to the semi-final bout between two teams called Velvet Rope Revolution and Boeghy Bunch. I'm not going to say that I did well, but I will say that I did better than either team in the freaking finals of the freaking World Series of Pop Culture.
Round 1- high school movies
I swept this category. The first three answers were "Jeff Spiccoli," "In Your Eyes," and "Chet" (feel free in the comments section of this post to give me the questions). One of the teams missed the Clueless term for the actor family used as an adjective to describe a hot guy (my correct answer: "Baldwin"). The next question amazed me: "What is the dangerous ski course Lane Meyer skis on one ski in the movie Better Off Dead?" That question stumped both teams! The answer of course is "the K-12." Everyone I associate with knows that.
End of round 1.
Both semi-finalist teams in The World Series of Pop Culture: 3
Me, lying on my parents' couch: 5
Round 2- Seinfeld
The correct answers to the first five questions were: "Cosmo," "Soup Nazi," "Junior Mint," "Dolores" and "Jon Voight." Provide the questions please (most people I respect shouldn't have a hard time). The question that stumped the girl from Velvet Rope Revolution asked about the name of Jerry's favorite yellow shirt (my correct answer: "Golden Boy")
End of round 2.
Both teams: 8
Me: 11
Round 3- movies in a nutshell
In this round they gave a synopsis of a movie and the contestants named which movie was described. The first five answers were: "Throw Momma from the Train," "Fatal Attraction," "Bend it Like Beckham," "Soul Man" and "Harry and the Hendersons." The one I missed was at the very end and it was for the movie called Gotcha! Personally, I feel the flick was far more obscure than the rest of the bunch. Gotcha! only received 1,782 votes on imdb.com (compared with 19,839 votes for Bend it Like Beckham). Soul Man, I suppose is in nearly the same level of obscurity at 1,835 votes, but Gotcha! is still the most obscure one. I guess I'm being a little bit technical because this was the only question in the game that I actually missed. I don't feel too bad, though, because the contestant missed it too.
End of round 3.
Both teams: 13
Me: 16
Round 4- alternative music
Answers we all got: "Talking Heads," "Morrissey," "Rock Lobster," "London Calling." The question both teams missed was: "What single-word Depeche Mode album contains the singles "Personal Jesus" and "Enjoy the Silence?" Yes, you heard me right. BOTH teams missed this question. I just re-bought this cd a few days ago. I was going to actually write a blog entry on doing just that (perhaps I will later). The answer, of course, is Violator.
End of round 4.
Both teams: 17
Me: 21
Round 5- animated tv
Correct answers: "Chef," "Scrappy-doo," "The Great Pumpkin," "propane" and "Malibu Stacy" (which had the funniest question of the night with "What Simpsons doll had as one of its catchphrases 'Let's buy make-up so the boys will like us!'") The question the guy from Boeghy Bunch missed was "What band's name does Beavis sport on his t-shirt?" The guy guessed AC/DC, giving the Velvet Rope Revolution contestant a chance to steal. He guessed Metallica because he knew that Beavis and Butthead sported those two bands, but he couldn't recall which was which and the other contestant eliminated the alternate for him. Could I recall Beavis' shirt without the elimination? Yes.
End of round 5.
Both teams: 22
Me: 27
The last round actually ended in a tie between the two contestants. They went into a tie-breaking round that consisted of naming off as many celebrities from Dancing With the Stars as possible. I must admit that I didn't do well. The only one I could immediately think of was John O'hurley and that was only because I associated it with his dancing on Seinfeld. Both contestants on the show got four apiece, so in the tie-breaker they would have skewered me (of course it wouldn't have come to a tie-break if I were playing).
I began watching the next game of semi-finals. The first round was 80s movies I think and it was very profitable for me. I got two questions right that stumped both teams. The answers were "Marty Moose" (once again, guess the question) and "'Chopsticks' & 'Heart and Soul'" (this one is a little bit trickier). I would've finished watching it, but the first episode of Futurama was on the other channel. Enjoying pop culture is way more fun than watching other people get stumped by it.
Monday, July 24, 2006
pioneer weekend update
So it seems that we got that place I was showing you earlier. It's going to be a little pricier, so until we get a new roommate and our bearings, I won't be buying a new car incredibly soon. I know I shouldn't anyway. I'm totally being irresponsible.
Actually, speaking of roommates, I might need one. This one kid (over 30) may move in with us, but maybe not. We need a dependable, industrious, non-annoying guy. So now for the next question: Who should live with us?
I cleaned my room yesterday. Turns out I have hard wood floors. It was pretty hammered after I looted through it looking for stuff for the yard sale.
Friday was Lady in the Water. Meh. I actually enjoyed watching it, but it's not quite as fun of a hindsight M. Night as his usually tend to be.
Saturday was An Inconvenient Truth. I must admit that if I ran with a slightly different crowd, I'm sure I'd be a really annoying environmentalist. Al Gore is really hilarious when you get to know him. He was on Futurama a couple of times and even used a clip from it during his presentation on how we're all gonna die from global warming. What really cracked me up were the shots of him being all pained and introspective. It made me take the movie less seriously, but more enjoyable. What really leant the movie credence was the fact that Dre and I walked out of the theater and it was like 85 degrees at 11:30 p.m.
Tomorrow Laura and I and possibly Kaila are going to trek to the Imax to see Superman in 3-D. Why aren't more movies in 3-D? I remember one time when I was a kid and channel 20 or 14 or 13 showed an old 3-D flick called The Mask (not the Jim Carrey one) and we had to go pick up 3-D glasses at 7-11. There was one part where there were spiders right in front of my face. Freaky! Good stuff anyway. It'll be nice to finally read the Superman reviews. I have this thing where I tend not to read movie reviews of movies I plan on seeing, because they usually give more away than I want them to. Abel wrote a review that I'm dying to read. I also need to finish his book that he pretty much only has one copy of that I've been hoarding for two months.
Speaking of Abel, I nearly forgot that I'll be alone doing the radio show on Tuesday and Wednesday. Tuesday's show will probably be about adoption and Wednesday's show will probably be a pop culture show with a pop culturist. Call into the show. We can talk about anything you want. Remember it's at 11 a.m. and the number is 1-800-331-4301.
Oh yeah. Also go to www.theabelhour.com. That's our new site dedicated just to the show. Point out grammatical and spelling errors. You can also click on the listen live link to listen if you don't get AM 1400 K-STAR (most people don't).
Should I go to the parade tomorrow? It's right at the bottom of my hill.
Oh, I forgot to mention that about a month ago, I turned in three dollar bills to the change machine at the carwash and of the 12 quarters I got back, 4 of them were 1965 coins! Weird, huh? Fine, maybe it's old news. If I remember right, it corresponded with 6/6/06.
Actually, speaking of roommates, I might need one. This one kid (over 30) may move in with us, but maybe not. We need a dependable, industrious, non-annoying guy. So now for the next question: Who should live with us?
I cleaned my room yesterday. Turns out I have hard wood floors. It was pretty hammered after I looted through it looking for stuff for the yard sale.Friday was Lady in the Water. Meh. I actually enjoyed watching it, but it's not quite as fun of a hindsight M. Night as his usually tend to be.
Saturday was An Inconvenient Truth. I must admit that if I ran with a slightly different crowd, I'm sure I'd be a really annoying environmentalist. Al Gore is really hilarious when you get to know him. He was on Futurama a couple of times and even used a clip from it during his presentation on how we're all gonna die from global warming. What really cracked me up were the shots of him being all pained and introspective. It made me take the movie less seriously, but more enjoyable. What really leant the movie credence was the fact that Dre and I walked out of the theater and it was like 85 degrees at 11:30 p.m.
Tomorrow Laura and I and possibly Kaila are going to trek to the Imax to see Superman in 3-D. Why aren't more movies in 3-D? I remember one time when I was a kid and channel 20 or 14 or 13 showed an old 3-D flick called The Mask (not the Jim Carrey one) and we had to go pick up 3-D glasses at 7-11. There was one part where there were spiders right in front of my face. Freaky! Good stuff anyway. It'll be nice to finally read the Superman reviews. I have this thing where I tend not to read movie reviews of movies I plan on seeing, because they usually give more away than I want them to. Abel wrote a review that I'm dying to read. I also need to finish his book that he pretty much only has one copy of that I've been hoarding for two months.
Speaking of Abel, I nearly forgot that I'll be alone doing the radio show on Tuesday and Wednesday. Tuesday's show will probably be about adoption and Wednesday's show will probably be a pop culture show with a pop culturist. Call into the show. We can talk about anything you want. Remember it's at 11 a.m. and the number is 1-800-331-4301.
Oh yeah. Also go to www.theabelhour.com. That's our new site dedicated just to the show. Point out grammatical and spelling errors. You can also click on the listen live link to listen if you don't get AM 1400 K-STAR (most people don't).
Should I go to the parade tomorrow? It's right at the bottom of my hill.
Oh, I forgot to mention that about a month ago, I turned in three dollar bills to the change machine at the carwash and of the 12 quarters I got back, 4 of them were 1965 coins! Weird, huh? Fine, maybe it's old news. If I remember right, it corresponded with 6/6/06.
Friday, July 21, 2006
should i live here?
We checked out this house tonight (officially yesterday i guess). It's a bit much, so we'll need someone else to live with us. The girls totally dug it though and that's pretty important to me. What do you think? Could you live here? Apparently, the cabinets are super nice or something. Also notice that the bedroom has two separate entrances. It also doesn't come with all the junk seen in the photos. It's on Center Street and 5th North (just a couple of blocks away from where I'm at now).
Thursday, July 20, 2006
massacre on west capitol
So, this youtube thing is pretty cool. Here's our Halloween movie from last year. If you know me, you've probably already seen it.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Monday, July 17, 2006
apt to change
Have I mentioned that we need to be out of our house by the 1st of August? I guess not. It's very sad, because it's been a wonderful house with wonderful memories and wonderfully cheap rent. Clint and Joe have apparently found places, so Rhett and I need to get crackin.' Please please tell us if you find anything in a two bedroom variety, close to downtown, large and under $1000.
We checked this place out today. Not gonna get it. It's about $400 off, but I found it to be pretty cool.
We checked this place out today. Not gonna get it. It's about $400 off, but I found it to be pretty cool.
your love is like brad medicine
Special props to Brad Newbold for actually taking the plunge. Good job Chelsea, at getting him committed.
boats are fun
I'm getting a little bit better at wakeboarding. The perks to go to the lake are getting more apparent. By the end of the summer, I plan on clearing the wake by any means necessary. Btw, this photo is now my desktop wallpaper.
hardly a seller's market
In case anyone was wondering, I earned about $50 at the yard sale. Now some guy has all my ties.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
chapter 13
Just in case you're wondering -- God exists. And fortunately, he loves us very much. I'm writing it down because, for some reason it can be very easy to forget.
Friday, July 07, 2006
selling ii!
Sorry I haven't mentioned it yet, but my house is having a ginormous yard sale Saturday morning at 9:00 am. Come by and buy stuff. We'll have cookies, lemonade and free dvds to people who spend more than ten bucks. Hey! You can even come by and sell some stuff. We'll totally cater. I've got some people already using this event to sell their gear. I'll probably wind up with more things than I started.517 N. West Capitol Street (50 W.) in Salt Lake City.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
broadway debut. D-E-B-U-T, debut.
I meant to mention this a month ago. Sorry.
The first Broadway play I ever went to was The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. It was also the first Broadway play I ever acted in.
I asked Sally what people wear to Broadway shows. She told me that some people really dress up for them, but that tons of people go in jeans and t-shirts. It's probably because tourists running around with their one change of clothes don't really have the same conveniences as locals and these broadway shows rely on tourists so they make them pretty casual. I wore jeans and my "WANTED" t-shirt.
When Kristi and I first got to the show, we were accosted by a woman with a clipboard who asked us if we'd like to be in it. We both enthusiastically said yes, despite the advice of Sally that we speak to two separate people about it with the logic being that they wouldn't take two people from the same group (they only have four audience members participate in the play itself). The woman asked us weird questions like whether or not we were up on current events and then told us to wait in line for someone else to interview us. The girl who interviewed us asked if I was a good speller and I responded that I actually won a spelling bee in 7th grade (true by the way). She then asked if Kristi and I would mind being split up. I responded by saying "If you pick one of us... pick me." For some reason this completely tickled her. 15 minutes later the girl announced the four "winners." I was first on the list. I'm pretty sure it was because of my selfish attitude.
The other three people were a middle-aged woman tourist, a middle-aged man and a teenager in a bosomy prom dress. They took the four of us to the lighting booth and ran over the ground rules and gave us very limited edition pins to prove we were part of the experience. We weren't supposed to try to act, but it was very important that, when spelling words, we ask for a definition and to use the word in a sentence.
The seats that Kristi and I won through Tim at the lottery were really the best seats in the whole auditorium (which was dressed up perfectly like a middle school gym). Even if I wasn't actually in the play, I practically would have been anyway. The seats we had were on a kiddie bench a foot away from the spelling microphone. The announcer called my name as a late entry and the cast members playing the kid spellers took me and the other audience contestants to the risers on the stage.
During a flashback sequence many of the characters acted as one of the kid's parents, brothers, cousins, etc. They stood up on the risers as the kid sang about them. He mentioned one person and a few of the cast members nudged me to stand up. After I did, the kid singing slowly shook his head as if I wasn't supposed to stand. The joke was simple humiliation at my expense, but at least the audience laughed.
They don't tell us how to spell the words we're given. That's part of the sponteneity. Some audience contestants get easier words, some get harder words, but they find a way to eliminate all of us by the end of the show. About four people into the spelling bee, my name was called to spell. As I walked up to the microphone, the announcer announced, "Jon Madsen is president of his school's sideburns club."
"Jon, your word is 'jihad.'"
I realized that's probably why they asked if I was up on current events. It's sort of a stretch, but I don't remember any of the other words having anything remotely to do with stuff like that. "Could I have that in a sentence please?"
"Timmy, here comes a jihad; so get behind this western wall."
"Jihad. J-I-H-A-D. Jihad."
"Correct!"
It was super nice to get the applause.
Shortly before my next word was a musical number. The other contestants told the three of us audience participaters to hold their hands and jump up and down for it, but they somehow managed to give us each others' hands so it was just the audience members jumping around like idiots.
When I went up for my second word the announcer said, "When Jon left his house this morning he told his mother, 'I'm wearing jeans and a t-shirt today. I'm going to a spelling bee, not a Broadway play."
"Jon, your word is "*zoo zoo*"
Hmm. Never heard that word before. I forget what the definition and sentence were. "Z-U-Z-U?"
"I'm sorry. Z-U-U-Z-U-U."
The character playing the paroled prisoner doing community service by comforting eliminated spellers gave me a huge hug and a juicebox. Yeah, it was a real juicebox. I got lots of applause when I went to sit down. I don't think I'm a natural on stage, but people naturally like me, so there.
The prom girl was the last of us to go out. She was announced with "Sheila has been suspended 15 times over the school's dress code."
I very much recommend the play next time you're in New York. Very funny. Very fun. And it touched me man.
Later in the day I was wearing my pin in the subway and this guy came up to me and congratulated me. He asked about spelling bees being televised and I mentioned that, yes, I had seen spelling bees on ESPN before. He then asked when I'd be on. The whole time this guy thought I was a middle school student competing in one of those nationally televised spelling bees. I decided to let him and me enjoy that fantasy.
By the way, I looked up zuuzuu. It's totally not even a word.
The first Broadway play I ever went to was The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. It was also the first Broadway play I ever acted in.
I asked Sally what people wear to Broadway shows. She told me that some people really dress up for them, but that tons of people go in jeans and t-shirts. It's probably because tourists running around with their one change of clothes don't really have the same conveniences as locals and these broadway shows rely on tourists so they make them pretty casual. I wore jeans and my "WANTED" t-shirt.
When Kristi and I first got to the show, we were accosted by a woman with a clipboard who asked us if we'd like to be in it. We both enthusiastically said yes, despite the advice of Sally that we speak to two separate people about it with the logic being that they wouldn't take two people from the same group (they only have four audience members participate in the play itself). The woman asked us weird questions like whether or not we were up on current events and then told us to wait in line for someone else to interview us. The girl who interviewed us asked if I was a good speller and I responded that I actually won a spelling bee in 7th grade (true by the way). She then asked if Kristi and I would mind being split up. I responded by saying "If you pick one of us... pick me." For some reason this completely tickled her. 15 minutes later the girl announced the four "winners." I was first on the list. I'm pretty sure it was because of my selfish attitude.
The other three people were a middle-aged woman tourist, a middle-aged man and a teenager in a bosomy prom dress. They took the four of us to the lighting booth and ran over the ground rules and gave us very limited edition pins to prove we were part of the experience. We weren't supposed to try to act, but it was very important that, when spelling words, we ask for a definition and to use the word in a sentence.The seats that Kristi and I won through Tim at the lottery were really the best seats in the whole auditorium (which was dressed up perfectly like a middle school gym). Even if I wasn't actually in the play, I practically would have been anyway. The seats we had were on a kiddie bench a foot away from the spelling microphone. The announcer called my name as a late entry and the cast members playing the kid spellers took me and the other audience contestants to the risers on the stage.
During a flashback sequence many of the characters acted as one of the kid's parents, brothers, cousins, etc. They stood up on the risers as the kid sang about them. He mentioned one person and a few of the cast members nudged me to stand up. After I did, the kid singing slowly shook his head as if I wasn't supposed to stand. The joke was simple humiliation at my expense, but at least the audience laughed.
They don't tell us how to spell the words we're given. That's part of the sponteneity. Some audience contestants get easier words, some get harder words, but they find a way to eliminate all of us by the end of the show. About four people into the spelling bee, my name was called to spell. As I walked up to the microphone, the announcer announced, "Jon Madsen is president of his school's sideburns club."
"Jon, your word is 'jihad.'"
I realized that's probably why they asked if I was up on current events. It's sort of a stretch, but I don't remember any of the other words having anything remotely to do with stuff like that. "Could I have that in a sentence please?"
"Timmy, here comes a jihad; so get behind this western wall."
"Jihad. J-I-H-A-D. Jihad."
"Correct!"
It was super nice to get the applause.
Shortly before my next word was a musical number. The other contestants told the three of us audience participaters to hold their hands and jump up and down for it, but they somehow managed to give us each others' hands so it was just the audience members jumping around like idiots.
When I went up for my second word the announcer said, "When Jon left his house this morning he told his mother, 'I'm wearing jeans and a t-shirt today. I'm going to a spelling bee, not a Broadway play."
"Jon, your word is "*zoo zoo*"Hmm. Never heard that word before. I forget what the definition and sentence were. "Z-U-Z-U?"
"I'm sorry. Z-U-U-Z-U-U."
The character playing the paroled prisoner doing community service by comforting eliminated spellers gave me a huge hug and a juicebox. Yeah, it was a real juicebox. I got lots of applause when I went to sit down. I don't think I'm a natural on stage, but people naturally like me, so there.
The prom girl was the last of us to go out. She was announced with "Sheila has been suspended 15 times over the school's dress code."
I very much recommend the play next time you're in New York. Very funny. Very fun. And it touched me man.
Later in the day I was wearing my pin in the subway and this guy came up to me and congratulated me. He asked about spelling bees being televised and I mentioned that, yes, I had seen spelling bees on ESPN before. He then asked when I'd be on. The whole time this guy thought I was a middle school student competing in one of those nationally televised spelling bees. I decided to let him and me enjoy that fantasy.
By the way, I looked up zuuzuu. It's totally not even a word.
Monday, June 05, 2006
happy end of days!
Way back in like 1992, my weird friend Brent came up to me and told me that "something" was going to happen that day. He said that years earlier he earmarked the date in question and predicted that something would happen. Nothing happened, but I thought hey, what a good idea and decided to do it myself. I picked the day June 6th, 1996. After I wrote it out, I realized that the date was incredibly close to the mark of the beast, 666. I then realized that the year of armageddon would only be ten years away from the date I picked which just happens to be tomorrow -- 06/06/06.
Hollywood is really capitalizing on this. They're opening the remake of The Omen tomorrow. What other movie has ever opened on a Tuesday? Anyway, I was on top of the end of days before they were.
If the world ends tomorrow, I just want everyone to know that it's been a real good run. Everyone close to me, remember that I thought very fondly of you. You know who you are. Stay strong my people!
If the world doesn't end tomorrow, remember you can now hear me on the radio every day at 11 a.m. on 1400 am (if you're in Utah county) or you can listen live at www.freecapitalist.com.
Hollywood is really capitalizing on this. They're opening the remake of The Omen tomorrow. What other movie has ever opened on a Tuesday? Anyway, I was on top of the end of days before they were.
If the world ends tomorrow, I just want everyone to know that it's been a real good run. Everyone close to me, remember that I thought very fondly of you. You know who you are. Stay strong my people!
If the world doesn't end tomorrow, remember you can now hear me on the radio every day at 11 a.m. on 1400 am (if you're in Utah county) or you can listen live at www.freecapitalist.com.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
serendipity now!
New York City continued...
Serendipity:
Anyway, on Friday Kristi, Sally, Sally's boyfriend Tim and I decided to go to the lottery for a broadway show. For those of you who don't know, many broadway shows have a mini-lottery an hour or so before the show to award winners with a chance to purchase cheap tickets for that day's sold-out show. Many locals do it, because they can try to win and if they don't they can just go home and try again later. Tourists don't have that option. If you want to see Wicked you need to book the show months in advance for about 100 bucks (or in our case $225). Odds of winning the lottery aren't incredibly good. They pick ten people out of about 60. That's why it's a good idea to bring all your friends so that they can have their names in as well and whoever wants to see the show the most gets the ticket if someone wins. It's a nice thing to do. Tim won. According to Sally, he always wins. She thinks the lottery girl likes him. I guess that's not much of a coincidence.
The tickets Tim won for Kristi and me was for a play called The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. For this particular play, they choose four members of the audience to participate on stage in the Spelling Bee. Guess the first person they chose was. Hint: it wasn't Kristi. Another hint: it was me. I'll probably go into excruciating detail about the experience in my next entry.
Have you ever watched Letterman or some other talk show and the celebrity talks about how he or she just happened to run into another celebrity on the street one day? Maybe I notice this more than everyone else, but I tend to think that it's strange that celebrities just happen to run into each other, especially when they live in giant cities with populations that triple the population of Utah. Anyway, on Saturday we bumped into Tate Donovan at Central Park. He was jogging. He looked okay. A bit out of breath. If I had myself together I would have told him how appalling I thought it was that his character was written out of The O.C.
In another strange coincidence, Laura, Maria and I bumped into Lucy Liu whilst eating at a British food place called Tea and Sympathy. I thought it particularly odd at the time that we decided to even eat at a British place.
On Sunday, we took a stroll around Sally's place in Harlem. I think that's where we found the Duke Ellington statue. Sally thought it was funny because the sculpture of Ellington is actually held up by sculptures of naked women. Naturally I wanted a picture and the guy who took the picture below said that he was visiting from California because his father is the sculptor of that particular work.
I've mentioned before that Nellie McKay was a huge reason for me to go to New York. This is despite the fact that seeing her broadway musical wouldn't be in the group's plans. Fortunately for me, plans fall through and I found myself alone in the city with little else to do but see Threepenny Opera all by myself. I went to the box office and, under Sally's advice, asked them for a student discount ticket. Fortunately, I still carry my BYU i.d. with me all the time for just such circumstances. They told me that since I was just buying one, they'd waive the fact that I needed to utilize the student discount a half hour before the show. When I showed up for the show, I was surprised that my seat was row C, seat 111 -- pretty much front and center. The picture below was taken from my seat while I was waiting for the show to start. Nearly the best seat in the house. Minutes after taking my seat, a woman came and sat next to me and exclaimed how glad she was that she just turned in her extra seat to the ticket office a couple of hours earlier and that it was fortunate for her that I was the one who picked it up. Apparently, the ticket office told her it was unlikely that a single would grab the seat so soon before the show. Lucky her. Lucky me.
On the way back from getting my Threepenny Opera tickets, I bumped into a flier distributor who yelled something extremely interesting. According to him, my very favorite comedian, Jim Gaffigan was in town playing near the Hello Deli. Alas, it turns out I missed him by a day. Still quite a coincidence, nonetheless.
Long before I came to New York I sadly resigned myself to the fact that I would probably never be able to see Nellie McKay in a live concert. She would never come out to Utah and If I happened to visit the east coast, she probably wouldn't play at that time. Besides, I figured she retired from performing since she's now a broadway actress instead of a jazz singer. So in passing, Sally told me she noticed that Nellie McKay would actually be performing in a pub downtown for 20 bucks. I immediately phoned Maria and she immediately told Laura and within minutes I was on the phone with the good people at Joe's Pub buying Nellie McKay concert tickets. I then told Kristi and Sally that I would be leaving them for an evening.
The Nellie concert actually fell on the same day that Laura and Maria wanted to meet me at that famous Serendipity restaurant. We did try to go before the show. They told us to come back and check in an hour and a half. When we came back, they told us to check back in an hour. We never got in.
Serendipity just wasn't meant to happen on this particular trip to New York.
Serendipity:
1. The faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident.So in a strange bit of coincidence, I went on vacation to New York the same weekend that my best girl pals Laura and Maria went. They had actually planned to go for months and months, so to an outsider, it would appear that I merely followed them there. The truth is, my other girlfriend Kristi demanded that I go to New York with her that weekend to see Sally without any clue that I would have another couple of girls on the side. So spending time with Laura and Maria wasn't necessarily on my agenda, but they suggested that we meet up at Serendipity on Sunday night. Apparently, Serendipity is a very popular tourist spot in New York and is famous for their frozen hot chocolate (or as I like to call it, chocolate milk).
2. A very trendy food and dessert cafe in New York City made famous by the movie of the same name.
Anyway, on Friday Kristi, Sally, Sally's boyfriend Tim and I decided to go to the lottery for a broadway show. For those of you who don't know, many broadway shows have a mini-lottery an hour or so before the show to award winners with a chance to purchase cheap tickets for that day's sold-out show. Many locals do it, because they can try to win and if they don't they can just go home and try again later. Tourists don't have that option. If you want to see Wicked you need to book the show months in advance for about 100 bucks (or in our case $225). Odds of winning the lottery aren't incredibly good. They pick ten people out of about 60. That's why it's a good idea to bring all your friends so that they can have their names in as well and whoever wants to see the show the most gets the ticket if someone wins. It's a nice thing to do. Tim won. According to Sally, he always wins. She thinks the lottery girl likes him. I guess that's not much of a coincidence.
The tickets Tim won for Kristi and me was for a play called The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. For this particular play, they choose four members of the audience to participate on stage in the Spelling Bee. Guess the first person they chose was. Hint: it wasn't Kristi. Another hint: it was me. I'll probably go into excruciating detail about the experience in my next entry.
Have you ever watched Letterman or some other talk show and the celebrity talks about how he or she just happened to run into another celebrity on the street one day? Maybe I notice this more than everyone else, but I tend to think that it's strange that celebrities just happen to run into each other, especially when they live in giant cities with populations that triple the population of Utah. Anyway, on Saturday we bumped into Tate Donovan at Central Park. He was jogging. He looked okay. A bit out of breath. If I had myself together I would have told him how appalling I thought it was that his character was written out of The O.C.
In another strange coincidence, Laura, Maria and I bumped into Lucy Liu whilst eating at a British food place called Tea and Sympathy. I thought it particularly odd at the time that we decided to even eat at a British place.
On Sunday, we took a stroll around Sally's place in Harlem. I think that's where we found the Duke Ellington statue. Sally thought it was funny because the sculpture of Ellington is actually held up by sculptures of naked women. Naturally I wanted a picture and the guy who took the picture below said that he was visiting from California because his father is the sculptor of that particular work.
I've mentioned before that Nellie McKay was a huge reason for me to go to New York. This is despite the fact that seeing her broadway musical wouldn't be in the group's plans. Fortunately for me, plans fall through and I found myself alone in the city with little else to do but see Threepenny Opera all by myself. I went to the box office and, under Sally's advice, asked them for a student discount ticket. Fortunately, I still carry my BYU i.d. with me all the time for just such circumstances. They told me that since I was just buying one, they'd waive the fact that I needed to utilize the student discount a half hour before the show. When I showed up for the show, I was surprised that my seat was row C, seat 111 -- pretty much front and center. The picture below was taken from my seat while I was waiting for the show to start. Nearly the best seat in the house. Minutes after taking my seat, a woman came and sat next to me and exclaimed how glad she was that she just turned in her extra seat to the ticket office a couple of hours earlier and that it was fortunate for her that I was the one who picked it up. Apparently, the ticket office told her it was unlikely that a single would grab the seat so soon before the show. Lucky her. Lucky me.
On the way back from getting my Threepenny Opera tickets, I bumped into a flier distributor who yelled something extremely interesting. According to him, my very favorite comedian, Jim Gaffigan was in town playing near the Hello Deli. Alas, it turns out I missed him by a day. Still quite a coincidence, nonetheless.Long before I came to New York I sadly resigned myself to the fact that I would probably never be able to see Nellie McKay in a live concert. She would never come out to Utah and If I happened to visit the east coast, she probably wouldn't play at that time. Besides, I figured she retired from performing since she's now a broadway actress instead of a jazz singer. So in passing, Sally told me she noticed that Nellie McKay would actually be performing in a pub downtown for 20 bucks. I immediately phoned Maria and she immediately told Laura and within minutes I was on the phone with the good people at Joe's Pub buying Nellie McKay concert tickets. I then told Kristi and Sally that I would be leaving them for an evening.
The Nellie concert actually fell on the same day that Laura and Maria wanted to meet me at that famous Serendipity restaurant. We did try to go before the show. They told us to come back and check in an hour and a half. When we came back, they told us to check back in an hour. We never got in.Serendipity just wasn't meant to happen on this particular trip to New York.
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